Part 131: Episode CXXI: Our Final Battle

Previously on Final Fantasy X, we murdered our entire stable of aeons. If you die in the dream sword dimension while being possessed by an angry orb, you die in real life! Fucked up but true. Now that we've depleted all possible alternate Sin host candidates from Yu Yevon's grasp, it's time to face the man himself. Prepare yourselves for the true form of the mighty immortal Yu Yevon: greatest summoner of all time, leader of ancient Zanarkand, and architect of Sin the destroyer of Spira.

Behold!





Yu Yevon's true form... a... space tick with the symbol for Yevon drawn on it...

…

Really.



Pictured: The proper reaction to witnessing Yu Yevon's true shape.

Yep... That is it... That is Yu Yevon. Spoilers: It does not have a second form or more impressive upgrade. Big ol' flying, glowing space tick is last challenge of Final Fantasy X. “A little too on the nose” is Final Fantasy X's chosen field. Spira doesn't do subtle.


New Music: Decisive Battle (Well... it's the final battle music, so you should probably listen to it. I don't think it's very good.)
Alternate Music: Final Battle (HD Remaster)



“This is the last time we fight together, okay?"



”You mean like this is it. We beat this... thing... and we win, ya?”
“Well... yes. There's that...”
*eyes Yu Yevon* “Disappointly... But... Er...”



“...after we beat Yu Yevon... I'll disappear!"
”I think... I'm pretty sure that's how it works...”
“What are you talking about?”
”So remember how all those fayth dudes were saying all that weird crap about dreams ending and all that...? Turns out my Zanarkand was some kinda fake dream zone the fayth on that big wall on Mt. Gagazet made and I... am a dream too? So was my dad. I... I think?”
“...What? Did you hit your head?”
“You get hit with more of that Sin Toxin stuff?”
“That is straight up crazy talk and I'm looking at some kinda 3 foot bug thingie that created Sin flying behind you.”
*rubs neck* “I... look... I'm not really clear on the details. I think I'm kinda like a special aeon maybe? I dunno... But, if we take out Yu Yev—Boy... it's just kinda buzzing around over there still, huh? Anyway, if we destroy Yu Yevon, then the fayth guys will stop summoning and my Zanarkand and me... I think... will stop existing. Look, I would have mentioned this stuff early but things kinda moved REALLY fast all the sudden and here we are...”





Well, this is goes down as one of the most awkward ways to break-up that I have seen. Sorry babe, once we kill the space tick controlling this doom whale, I'm going to stop existing because I'm really the dream conjuration of a bunch of dead folks cemented on the side of a mountain. It's not you, it's me. Winking out of existence.

Tidus turns and walks toward the very patient Yu Yevon.





Kimahri and Auron have zero opinion on this matter. I suppose Auron knows that Dream Zanarkand is some weird detached from reality place linked to Sin. But, there's no reason why he should know they're linked at the hip and will fade from existence the same time Sin does too. Kimahri, on the other hand, has mentally checked the fuck out since the pilgrimage ended.





Goddammit, Tidus. I'm not changing the LP's update naming scheme back again. Shut up!





Welcome to the official final boss of Final Fantasy X: Yu Yevon and his ever present pals, the Yevon Pagodas.





The Yu Pagodas are gonna just keep on keepin' on with what they know in powering up Yu Yevon every turn. Only... Yu Yevon doesn't have any special Overdrives or even any sort of Overdrive meter to fill up. The Yu Pagodas are just there to heal him for 1500 HP and to waste 12 seconds with their overly long charging animation each time.





Indeed, Yu Yevon doesn't have much in the way of attacks at all. In fact, it only has three. With two only be used when it's low on HP. Primarily, Yu Yevon will just use Gravija on the entire party...



...and itself for some reason. The millennium old space tick is a touch out of control with its gravity magic when not tuning it through its Doom Whale power suit. Gravija has a 9999 damage cap and Yu Yevon has 99,999 HP we need to burn through to pull off this tick.



Any attacks toward Yu Yevon will cause it to immediately counter by casting Curaga for a 9999 HP heal. Which, had we not a particularly strong party, would be a hard numbers game to match.







...Except we can just cast Reflect on Yu Yevon and it will full heal one of our party members every turn like an idiot. Alternately, Yu Yevon is susceptible to the Zombie status. So it will absentmindedly hurt itself for 9999 HP every turn while the Yu Pagodas do the same. And we could just throw a Phoenix Down or Life spell to instantly kill the space tick. What I'm getting at is Yu Yevon is piss easy. That's not even mentioning the party still has unlimited Auto-Life. But Yu Yevon will only use its solitary non-percentage based attack, Ultima, when it is nearing death. And for the life of me, it felt set to do Gravija all day long instead of attempting to fruitlessly finish the party. So fine. Be that way!





Well, everyone knows if your pets ever get fleas, after you give 'em their medicine, you'd best vacuum the floor well...







...and then dispose of the bag properly. Don't want any of those pests to linger around, now do we?





And that is it for Yu Yevon. Now you know why I said Braska's Final Aeon was the proper final boss. They probably could have afforded to take the Auto-Life training wheels off when we got to Yu Yevon proper. But on the other hand, in the off-chance it cast an ill-timed Ultima and wiped the party... hell if I want to sit through half an hour of dull battles and summoning animations again to take another crack at it.







Yu Yevon and its Pagoda children take flight high into the encroaching void that was once the Giant Dad Sword zone.









The Yu Pagodas smoosh Yu Yevon into a fine paste before erupting in light and disintegrating like a proper Final Fantasy end boss. Congratulations! We have beaten Final Fantasy X! Our gameplay trials have ended. Neither random battles, nor timed mini-games, nor blitzball will ever trouble us again.







Meanwhile, on Besaid Island the Aurochs finally return home after the Luca Stadium custodial staff evicts them from their 18 week occupation of the locker room following their victory in the Luca Cup.


Music: Tidus' Theme



The entire town gasps and the Aurochs break into synchronized celebration. Look, they had to take the bench and cheer for other teams for over a decade. They got really good at cheering. The question is... what in the flying fuck is everyone cheering about? There is no way anyone could possibly know Tidus and the gang just killed Yu Yevon. Even if there was some visual indicator as soon as Yu Yevon was slain... Sin was clear on the other side of the damn continent. I know Spira is the size of Rhode Island and all. But c'mon. What even is this Return of the Jedi ending ass shit?





Alright Crusaders. Besaid Village is established as being on the northern end of the island with the Temple facing south. You are all saluting to the south. Unless Spira is following crazy old Final Fantasy geography rules where the world instantly wraps from the northern extreme to the southern and Bevelle is actually a stone's throw to the south this whole time... you are all facing the wrong direction, even if you could somehow see Sin hundreds of miles away.



And Maechem, you were just at Mt. Gagazet yesterday. How did you even make it all the way back to Besaid Island on foot? It took the pilgrimage at least a couple months. For that matter, what are you even doing here, old man? Besides already calculating a lengthy exposition on the defeat of Sin to spring lore upon future generations of travels on the road.




Music: Hymn of the Fayth







Just drive home that slaying all the aeons has taken out their fayth too and ended their weird eternal enslavement as weapons of war and occasional faux Pokemon battle contestants, we see their Fayth stones erode away to just empty husks.





Boy, we just put a lot of people out of work here? Been a gardener and maintenance worker for Macalania Temple for the last 20 years? Well you're shit out of luck sir. The only thing holding this temple up just checked out. Good luck finding a new job and home. Trained to be a summoner your whole life? Tough luck. That profession is entirely tanked.





Speaking of summoners, somewhere out on the pilgrimage road, an unsuspecting rookie summoner ignorant to this whole stupid affair Yuna and friends had embarked on is suddenly having a real bad time as their Bahamut fades out of existence in the middle of a battle against an ambushing Behemoth. Thanks Obama Yuna!





Later Ghost Kid. It's been real weird. Real dumb. Why is your fayth stone a jacked shirtless dude when you were in reality a lanky 12 year old? Projecting much, Ghost Kid?







Meanwhile, the party has managed to climb out of Yu Yevon's giant sword and flaming chaos realm and back onto the Dream's End as Yuna performs a Sending to nobody in particular, as Jecht already collapsed into pyreflies and Yu Yevon disintegrated into the void. But better safe than sorry. Wouldn't want some lingering loophole for Sin to return one day like some bad fanfiction, now would we...?



Yuna stops her Sending short when she notices an anomaly with the party...



Hey, remember how the Sending affected Auron early on and he regularly split whenever Yuna performed one? Remember how he was standing right there and it didn't do shit in that slapdash curtain call for Seymour Guado or any of the Endgame content where they clearly didn't care about continuity? Well, the Sending working on Auron's undead ass is a thing again now.



“But I...”


Music: Auron's Theme



Don't you just hate it at the end of a project when it turns out multiple teammates flake out being undead or dream constructs? You think you know a person...



You can see the gears trying to turn in Wakka's head, even in the undetailed low quality model, as he puzzles out Auron's Unsent status.





Kimahri gets a friendly tap on the chest, as Auron remains the only person to acknowledge Kimahri has existed in the last 10 hours of gameplay.



One last scoping out of Lulu's rack for the road... Good stuff.



I'm not sure if Rikku or Auron ever interacted more than a few lines. But she likes to participate.





Tidus looks very cross with Auron, despite being the only person in the party to know he has been undead this whole time and Auron stating no less than five times that he intended to pass on after they sorted out all the nasty Jecht/Sin business.





Auron had exactly two fucks to give and that was killing Yunalesca and freeing Jecht. That's done. Auron's fucks reserves have been depleted up to and including continuing to exist. Oh, Tidus? You're a dream that is going to fade away at any time? Boo-ho. Get over it.







Gotta strike a badass pose before you go. Wouldn't want to go out like Seymour, squatting like he was about to hurl in toilet or something. Undignified.





And with that we say goodbye to Auron, the only fairly consistent competent member of our party, despite his lack of fucks to mostly give.

Tune in next time for the ending of Final Fantasy X. Holy shit! It's almost over!






Video: Episode 121 Highlight Reel