Part 134: Episode CXXIV: Our World Now

New Music: Eternity ~ Memories of Waves and Light (It's no To Zanarkand, but the main piano theme of Final Fantasy X-2 is really good too.)



”...So is the giant cannon robot locust thing just sitting in the Farplane now?”
“Well... yeah. It's not like a handful of people could move it after we destroyed it. It was bigger than one of Sin's fins. Shinra thinks he might be able to reverse engineer it someday to harness pyreflies to make energy or something...? I dunno.”
“Huh. That sounds like it could be a good idea.”
“Maybe.”



“Soooo... beyond that whole mess you were involved in, what happened to everyone else while I was gone?”
“Well... Spira has changed a lot. I'm not sure where to begin... After Sin was defeated, they called it the Eternal Calm and everyone got... a bit wacky now that there wasn't any more threat from Sin.”
“Is Rikku okay...? She seems... kind of... I dunno... hyper? And...”
“Yeah. She... she celebrated... kind of hard after the Eternal Calm began. Like for weeks. Possibly months straight. She is just kind of like that now...”
“Uh... huh...”
“You get used to it. So anyway... where to start.”



“Besaid is the same as ever. Biggest news is Wakka and Lulu's son being born.”
“Yeah... I didn't see Wakka and Lulu hooking up. Much less having a baby. So Wakka's hair is just kinda naturally like that, huh?”
“It'll be hard to imagine Wakka as a father. Even if that pot belly has him looking the part.”



“...Pot belly?”
“Hehe. Yeah. He let himself go a bit after retiring from blitzball, huh?”
“...”
“...What are you talking about? That guy is still kinda jacked. Not even in dad-bod kind of way. Just straight up beefcake dude. He hasn't changed a bit.”
“Heh. No need to go easy on him.”
“...Okaaaaay. Well... I'm happy for them. I'm surprised Lulu is up, around, and back in her belt dress so soon.”
“What do you mean?”



“She just popped out a baby. I thought she'd give that outfit a rest for a while.”
“That is just her look. I don't think I have seen her dress differently a single day since we've met.”
“...Wait. She wasn't wearing that whole corset and belt dress deal while she was pregnant, right...?”
“Of course she was. Why do you ask?”
“What. No I mean... Like how did she have a baby bump dressed like that?!”
“Oh... It never showed.”
“...That doesn't sound healthy. Or physically possible...”
*shrug*
“So did they think of a name?”
“Wakka did. It's Vidina – the Al Bhed word for 'Future'.”
“Really overcompensating for that racism thing, huh?”
“Little bit!”



“Kilika Port rebuilt and is thriving nowadays. Well... mostly. It ended up being caught in the middle of a bunch of political posturing by the Youth League and New Yevon.”
“Er... Hold up. Youth League? And there is a *NEW* Yevon now...?”
“Oh yeah... Right... Things got real political after Sin's defeat.”



”After we defeated Sin, all the maesters were dead, the fayth were gone, and Yevon's influence crumbled. But not everyone wanted to do away with how things were. So a splinter group formed that continued Yevon's principles. Just not the whole... Umm...”
“Death cult?”
“Yeah that. New Yevon is real conservative and wants to take the rebuilding Spira thing 'one step at a time' and the like.”
“1000... err... 1002 years wasn't enough time farting around?”
*shrug* “Their leader is this guy named Baralai. He's the one that got possessed by the not-you, Shuyin. Though the organization itself was formed by an Unsent named Trema.”
“Never heard of him.”
“Me and the girls maaaay have killed him after he went crazy and crawled into a giant sprawling dungeon beneath Bevelle. Long story.... Anyway, New Yevon was collecting spheres and hording any information and powers from them away from the public. Maybe a bit selfishly."



“On the other hand, with no more Sin the Crusaders disbanded and reformed as the Youth League. They are trying to find ancient spheres and share their gifts with everyone. Maybe a bit too quickly. Oh... You'll like this. Their leader is a former crusader named Nooj.”
“...Nooj? What kinda name is Nooj?”
”Here. Hold up. Let me bring up a sphere of him...”



“Pffffffft! HAHAHAHAHAHA! What? Did he lose a bet? Hahahaha. That cannot be real. He cannot go out in public like that.”
“He 100% does. He just had a speech in at Luca Stadium in front of hundreds of people looking just like that...”
“Hahaha. Oh man... I need to avoid that guy because there is no way I won't crack up immediately.”
“It's hard to keep a straight face.”



“There is also a Machine Faction.”
“What? Like robots have a faction now?”
“No. It's a bunch of Al Bhed that want to spread the use of machina now that Yevon's taboos are gone.”
“Why aren't they the Machina Faction?”
“They're trying to get machine to spread instead of the stigma held by saying machina.”
“...”
“I don't get it either. Anyway, their leader is an Al Bhed named Gippal. He's kind of a try-hard ladies man type. I think he really wants to court Rikku. But I don't think he will ever be able to catch up to... the same page as her these days.”
“Weird.”





“Anyway, you remember Dona and Barthello? They settled down in Kilika after things calmed down.”
“Oh yeah? How's that working out.”
“Well, Dona joined the Youth League and Barthello went with New Yevon and... well...” *stinkface*
“Yeesh.”



“Luca hasn't changed at all. You go there if you want to see a concert or watch a blitzball game.”
“...”
“...Ignore anyone that says they enjoyed my show in Luca.”
“Huh?”
“Long story. Just ignore it.”
“...Okay.”



“Speaking of blitzball. Yeah, popularity of that sport just bottomed right out.”
“What?! Now way! What happened. I like was thinking of maybe... you know now that I'm back I wanted to get back into the game...”
“They still play it. Don't worry. It's just the leagues got REAL involved with the whole management of teams part and less the games and uhh... it's just kind of a mess I ignore.”
*frown*
“The Aurochs all retired and are training with the Youth League now, in case you were wondering.”



“Do you remember Shelinda?”
“Uhh...”
“She was a very devout acolyte of Yevon we encountered on the pilgrimage several times.”
*shakes head*
“Had a funny hat.”
“Oh... HER! Yeah, okay.”
“She became a news reporter for a sphere broadcasting station in Luca.”
“That's a thing now? Spira finally got TV?”
“TV...?”
“Umm. You know, like watching recorded programs like blitzball and junk on those sphere monitors.”
“Oh... I guess? Anyway, she does that nowadays. Well, at least she tries to. It's mostly popping up and annoying people.”
“Really mixing it up.”
“Hehe. That's mean.”



“The Mi'ihen Highroad is a lot safer to travel now that it is patrolled by Al Bhed machina.”
“Any more monsters eating chocobos?”
“Yep. In fact the girls and I took out the child of the one we fought during the pilgrimage.”
“How do you know it was its child?”
“How many big awkward monsters that only eat chocobos exist? They're all like one family branch removed.”
“Fair enough.”





“Mushroom Rock is now home to the Youth League's headquarters. It's at the same place the Crusaders had their HQ back during Operation Mi'ihen.”
“Kind of a morbid spot.”
“Little bit!”





“Elma and Lucil, the Chocobo Knights, both joined the Youth League. Lucil is Nooj—”
*snicker* “Pfft... Nooj.”
“...Nooj's top lieutenant. They mostly do the same Crusader stuff. Just under a new name.”
“What happened to that Clasko guy?”
“Oh he... I'll get to that later.”
“Hm. What about the Veteran Chocobo?”
“Veteran... Chocobo...?”
“You know. The one with the cigar and the eyepatch. Sole survivor of the Crusaders getting wrecked?”
“...I have no idea what you're talking about.”
“Veteran Chocobo!”
“You can keep saying that. It's not going to make me remember some kind of smoking chocobo you claim to have seen.”
“...”



“Yevon abandoned Djose Temple to the monkeys. The Machine Faction moved in and took it over. That's their base of operations now.”
“Do they have to do that stupid Cloister of Trials to get into the bathroom?”
“No. Those cloisters all got deactivated when the fayth faded away.”
“Phew. At least we did some good beyond defeating Sin.”



“The Moonflow is still the Moonflow. There's machina that can be used to cross the river now. But riding a shoopuf is still fun. Also, the Hypello started breeding at alarming rates. Just... wall to wall Hypello boning if you go around the wrong side of the docks.”
“Did not need to hear about that! Ugh... Now I got a mental image of Hypellos doing the nasty and blah.”



“Hey, you were the one that wanted to hear about how things had gone. And walking in on Hypello sex is now just an intrinsic part of Spira.”
“Ugh... Sorry I asked.”



“Let's see... What else. Guadosalam was abandoned by the Guado.”
“What happened?”
“Remember when Maester Seymour attacked Mt. Gagazet and killed Maester Kelk as well as many others?”
“...That happened? Oh. Yeah. Right... Totally forgot. We weren't around for that, were we?”
“So the surviving Ronso? Pretty, pretty umm... What's a good term?”
“Pissed?”
“Yeah. Extremely pissed. Tromell became leader of the Guado and took them into hiding, as word around Spira was the Ronso were planning to march into Guadosalam and rip every Guado they could get their hands on in half. 'Tear them asunder' was the popular phrase.”
“Harsh but fair...”
“The LeBlanc Syndicate took over Seymour's old mansion.”



“LeBlanc Syndicate?”
*groan* “There is this whole other sphere hunter group going up against my group, the Gullwings. We had a rivalry thing going on. We are kind of frienemies nowadays. It's this whole thing I don't wanna get into...”





“The entrance to the Farplane in Guadosalam is closed off now. As it turns out, dumping a few million extra pyreflies from Sin and the aeons being destroyed may have not been too great for the Farplane's stability.”
“How messed up are we talking here?”



“So you remember the Omega Weapon from the Omega Ruins.”
“Yeah sure. What? Is it back?”
“Yeah. And it multiplied. That is just a common fiend now in the Farplane.”
“...Yeesh.”



“Oh and all the Chamber of the Fayths in the derelict Yevon temples are now holes into the Farplane with fiends crawling out of the infestation. Oh and all the aeons came back corrupted and evil. I had to help kill them all. Again...”
“Really? Again?”
*nods and sighs* “Again.”



“The Thunder Plains got its lightning rod towers repaired in the last year.”
“So no more lightning strikes on people?”
“No more lightning strikes on people.”
“Still never setting foot there again.”
“That's fair.”



“Macalania Woods is dying.”
“For real? Bummer. Had some... good memories there. Hehe.”
“Hmm.”



“With the Shiva fayth gone...”
“Which one was that?”
“Nora.”
“Umm...”
“The mostly naked blue ice woman. I used it when we fought and killed Maester Seymour... Err... the first time...”
“Oh. That one. Alright.”
“With the fayth gone, Macalania Lake thawed out, causing Macalania Temple to collapse and sink to the lake bottom.”
“...Whoops.”
“Hey! I'm not going to take the blame for that one. That place's construction was silly. Anyway, it seems to have had an adverse effect on the woods. They'll all be gone in a few years.”



“O'aka retired from being a merchant for all of about a month. Then he bought the travel agency outside Macalania Temple from Rin. And then... welp.”
“Smooth move.”
“Then he went into hiding from debt collectors and it was a whole big mess.”
“Tell me you didn't enable that jerk and pay off his debt.”
“Oh heck no! We turned him in to the Al Bhed. He's working off his debt digging in the Bikanel Desert.”
“Huh... Nice. Hated that guy.”
“I thought you'd like that.”



“The Al Bhed have been busy excavating buried machina from Sanubia Desert. That is about it...”



“Oh, the Cactuars formed a Cactuar Nation.”
“...The little jerk cactus guys?”
“Yeah. It is... did you know Cactuars are incredibly weird?”
“No. I only played redlight-greenlight with like ten of them so Rikku could get a fancy weapon.”
“Yeah that's tame. Those little guys get REAL weird. Also incredibly big, as it turns out. Like 50 feet big...”
“And so that desert joins the Thunder Plains on places I'm never visiting again.”
“That's fair.”



“Bevelle is where New Yevon has its headquarters.”
“So they really just barely re-branded, huh?”
“Pretty much.”
“Did you get a chance to wander around any more of Bevelle? We sort of skipped past that place when we were going against Sin.”



“Well... I... saw outside the main Yevon palace. And... It's quite lovely.”



“But as far as the actual city proper...? No...”
“Weak.”
“I am not even sure how you are supposed to get down there from the Highbridge.”



“It turns out there is a whole Bevelle Underground complex beneath Bevelle. And another awful dungeon, the Via Infinito beneath the old Via Purifico. That one is just filled with fiends and unsent Maesters.”
“Huh?”
“Oh yeah. We fought Maester Kinoc, who turned into a giant enemy crab. A Black Element that was once Maester Jyscal, Seymour's father. There was a huge turtle that was the fiend form of High Maester Mika. A monstrous snake that was Yunalesca. And another color swap of Omega that was the former Lord Zaon, Yunalesca's husband. I... really dropped the ball not Sending half of those guys...”
“I'd say. Seymour is still dead, right? Like dead DEAD, sent and all that.”
“Yes. No Seymour, thankfully. Oh right... there is one thing I found out. This is going to make you upset. Do you remember the Bevelle Cloister of Trials?”
“UGH! Yep. The ones with the dumb conveyor belts and the things you had to ride and the switches and crap?”
“That's the one.”
“What about it?”



“Yeah, it turns out you could totally walk on those paths made of light.”
“...”
“No way. Shut up!”
“No joke.”
“Oh no! C'mon. Why did you even have to tell me that?! Ugggggh!”
“Yep. YEP!”



“Moving on... The Calm Lands has hovercraft transportation now. And a multitude of mini-games, if that is your sort of idea of fun.”
“It is not.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“...”
“...I had good reasons to do all those mini-games. Those weapons we got were pretty awesome.”
“Oh yeah? So where is your Celestial Weapon?”
“...Well it is. Uhh...”
“...”
“Oh, dammit!”



“That Monster Arena went under and all the monsters escaped. And the ones that didn't, I had to help clean out.”
“Oh, don't tell me that! Do you know how long it took Wakka, Auron, and me to catch all those fiends?!”
“Perhaps leaving dozens of ferocious fiends under the care of one frail old man wasn't the hottest of plans? In fact it sucked.”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”





“After we eradicated all the fiends, Clasko set up a Chocobo Ranch there.”
“Oh. So he really went and became a chocobo breeder, huh?”
“Oh no. This was very recent. He rejoined the Crusaders and then later the Youth League before quitting and becoming a chocobo breeder.”
“Huh? What the heck. The last time I saw that guy he already had quit the Crusaders and was working on one of the ferries caring for its chocobos.”
*shrug* “I'm only telling you what canonically happened.”



“The Cavern of the Stolen Fayth became a tourist attraction.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously... The fayth might have been gone. But the spooky haunted cavern and what was left of the fayth stone was a big draw for visitors. The whole thing was kind of... bleh... Not in the best of taste. Remiem Temple escaped a similar fate. The path there collapsed and nobody can get to it anymore.”
“Aren't there like multiple airships flying around now?”
“It's not on any of the maps.”
“But... you know how to get there. It's like southeast out of the Calm Lands.”
“I don't follow. How could the airship fly there if it's not on its navigation maps.”
“That isn't how airships work...”
“No. I am pretty sure it is. I've been around 'em a lot longer than you now. If a location isn't on the navigation map and you cannot walk there from somewhere that is, it may as well not even exist.”
“...”





“Kimahri returned to Mt. Gagazet and became the chief of the Ronso.”
“Hey, right on big guy.”
“Beyond that umm... it's Kimahri. He's still just kind of stoic and... I kind of think a bit mentally checked out ever since we defeated Sin, if we're being honest.”



“Zanarkand... also became a tourist attraction. It was really gross. And then it got overrun by monkeys. Long story...”





“Rikku's father, Cid, and Isaaru set up the tolls and souvenirs and ugh... Rikku was quite upset with her dad.”
“That's a weird pairing.”
“Well, Cid was trying to raise funds to rebuild Home and Isaaru... Well, the guy's only skill was summoning and I we did sort of put him out of a job...”
“Huh... Hadn't thought about that. Bummer. Hey, what do you do now to fight fiends now that you can't summon anymore?”
“Oh, I learned all sorts of different fighting jobs and support classes. Mostly I just use guns.”
“...Guns?”
“Yeah a couple of pistols. I'm a pretty good shot.”
“I... see...”



“Let's see... who haven't I talked about? Umm... Isaaru's brother, Maroda, joined the Youth League. Not much to talk about there. He wasn't on the best of terms with his brother. Thought the whole Zanarkand tourist trap thing was disrespectful.”



“Isaaru's other brother, Pacce, formed a child division of the Youth League called the... Kinderguardians.”
“UGH!”
“Yeah... yeah. It's real cute and all but I have to struggle not to cringe every time I hear that name.”



“Maechen turned out to be an unsent. Like an incredibly old unsent who was alive back during the Machina War. He just forgot he was unsent since he was too busy with delivering exposition. When he remembered, he disappeared into pyreflies. But Rikku thinks he's not gone for good.”
“Be on the lookout for ghost exposition. Great...”
“So I think that catches you up with everyone and everything.”
“Hey, what happened to Rikku's brother err... Brother? You didn't mention him.”



*sucks teeth* “Yeeeeah. I really didn't want to bring him up... Brother is the leader of the Gullwings. On paper at least... You know how Rikku is... a bit out of sorts? She is perfectly normal compared to Brother nowadays. That guy... He's nice and love him but... Man... He does not have an off switch and the toggle is broken on zany. Also, he really really has a thing for me.”
“...A thing for you?”
*100 yard stare* “Yeeeeeeah... A thing.”
“Aren't you cousins?”
“Yuuup.”
“Gross.”
“Yuuuuuuuup.”



“I think that's it. That's everyone and everything that's happened in a nutshell.”
“Well... I'm so sorry. Though, I... do feel a bit better about having missed the last couple of years.”
*glare*
“Just kidding! It's good to be back... So... Now what...?”