Part 77: Episode LXVIII: My Dense Realization

Meanwhile, at the bottom of Lake Macalania...







There's another one of those dopey “walk twenty feet to get the cutscene” segments. Unlike the last three, there's actually a Level 2 Key Sphere and the first Level 4 Key Sphere in the two corners of the room on the way out. Kind of a dick move.







Welp. The old Summoner's Sanctum has seen better days. I don't know guys. I don't want to judge, but maybe gathering all the summoners to a single point in your weird desert base and slapping a big “summoner's here” label on it was an ill devised plan.



Oh right... You. Stripper summoner. The one Bolt VanderHuge was looking for back in the forest. I guess you got kidnapped, huh? I'd forgotten about that. Mostly because you appeared all of twice the entire game prior to now and the last time was seven areas or so ago.



“Hello again. Wait there until we have performed the sending."
"They died...protecting us.”



Oh yeah. What's his face... Quentin Flynn Summoner is also here. I guess he got kidnapped at some point. There's another person who I'd forgotten about because he showed up all of once the entire game prior to this. Along with both of his guardian brothers. I'm not sure how that worked out.



Good thing the Al Bhed only managed to capture two of the only three summoners we've ever met in Spira. It would be awkward to have to exchange pleasantries with some unknown scrub summoner this late in the game. Or one that was having a far more successful pilgrimage than Yuna and company's clusterfuck, who just ended up here because he didn't have a half dozen people to combat an Al Bhed tank assault.

Speaking of unknown scrubs, remember how Isaaru had a tiny kid brother guardian that had all of about two lines? Well he did. And he decides to wander up to Tidus for some reason while the grown-ups attend to the Al Bhed corpses.



”...Why are you asking me?!”
*looks around*
*shrugs*
“The Al Bhed said summoners were being 'sacrificed.' That summoners shouldn't have to do a pilgrimage..."



“The Al Bhed had no right stopping their pilgrimage!"
”Trying to kill summoners' guardians is also filed under uncool. What's the deal?!”
"The pilgrimages have to stop!



“If they don't, and they get to Zanarkand... They might defeat Sin. Yunie could... but then she...”



Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!? The summoner's pilgrimage is a one way suicide mission this whole time?! Who could have foreseen this shocking revelation as to the nature of our journey? The answer is literally just Tidus and this eight year old child. If you made it to this twist and were take by surprise by this revelation and were over the age about about 14: Congrats. You are dense.

And hey, Rikku. I don't know... Maybe drop the cutesy name for Yuna if you're going to have a serious discussion about the death of another person?


New Music: Revealed Truth



“Summoners journey to get the Final Aeon. Yuna told you, didn't she?”
”Or Wakka...? Or Lulu...? Or Auron...?”
“...”
“...Okay, maybe not Auron.”
<Kimahri not even get mentioned. Typical.>



“If she calls it, the Final Aeon's going to kill her! Even if she defeats Sin, it will kill Yunie too, you know!"





“Why didn't I know?"
”How should I know? I've only been here like a week. I thought someone would have filled you in by now. I only knew you didn't know on that snowmobile and like... it's been a *HECK* of a day after that.”







”You didn't ask.”
“Oh, I didn't ask huh?! Would you have even told me if this didn't come up?!”
*glares*
“Yeah, that's what I thought. Just shut up. Just shut the fuck up, Auron!”
“Hmph. Fair.”



”Is Kimahri only guardian who concerned where Yuna is right now? That seems more important to Kimahri than this...”



“Aah!”







Despite the dramatic motion blurred zoom, here's not actually a long scream of horror. It's more the sound close to that of someone being startled by a spider.



“I thought you were family!”



”Kimahri, you... And you... Ugh... Why the hell are you blue anyway?!”
“...?”



“She follows... her heart."
”Even you have been around her enough lately. Surely you've realized rational thinking and Yuna do not associate often.”



“To face Sin, ya? Yuna knew!”
”Like... everyone knows, ya.”
“Hey. Umm... what are you all talking about? And why isn't anyone answering me...? No...? You guys suck. I'm gonna go...” *frown*



“Summoners shouldn't have to sacrifice themselves... just so the rest of Spira can be happy, right?”



That's a raw deal for summoners. But this is the same narrative where an alternative method of dealing with Sin was tried with the Al Bhed and it resulted in literally the death of about a thousand people. So... I guess the Al Bhed back-up plan is just to go “Fuck it! Pack everything up!” Not really a good solution on either end here.

Unrelated, wow Al Bhed spiral eyes actually look really creepy. I wonder if Tidus would still be into Yuna if instead of having heterochromia, Yuna had one lazy green spiral eye instead.







While Tidus is busy having a meltdown in an inopportune time*, the pyreflies of the assorted gibbed Al Bhed form into... hey our old buddy Wendigo! Funny, I thought the Wendigo was more of a feral creature than a straight up fiend made of Spiran soul farts. But then again the Guado explode into pyreflies upon death just like your common monster. So perhaps the species lines are a bit blurry.

_{* (Hey didn't Auron do the Sin = Jecht reveal early to avoid this exact same scenario? Whoops!)}



"We all live in fear of Sin. You know that."
"A world without Sin... That is the dream of all Yevon's children.”



But only use the power of two summons, and only those of two different types, at a time please. The game engine cannot handle more than that without hard crashing. Please understand the sacrifices they must make to defeat Sin.





The summoned Ifrit and Valefor proceed to ruin the Wendigo's shit. Or at least, it is implied by sound effects and the screen going white. Sorry, it wasn't in budget to actually have a cinematic duo-summon vs. yeti battle.



“Uuugh. Uggggh. Urrrrrgggaaaah! Uurrrrrrrraaah.”





In a puzzling emotional outburst, Tidus decides to rush over to the Valefor and just start beating the shit out of it. I mean really just laying into the thing. Punches it right in the bird tit. Rude.



"And I've been telling Yuna... Let's go to Zanarkand together! Let's beat Sin! I told her all the things we could... we could... And all along, the whole time, I didn't know anything!But Yuna, she'd... just smile.”





This giant bird is very confused right now.




Music: Yuna's Theme



Hey, remember the one time Yuna learned to whistle? You know, the one of about two times Tidus and Yuna hung out together and had a moment. No? You don't quite recall. It's cool. We're just gonna play the scene again from a slightly different camera angle and slap a filter over it.



"You sound sad."
"Plus you’ve been kind of pouting and kicking dirt in the background since you’ve gotten here…”
"Yeah, maybe."
"…Wanna scream?"
"Mmph… I really don't think that's gonna help this time."
”Kind of dealing with some heavy stuff right now…”
“Like…?”
“…Can’t really talk about it because… eh… it is…err… complicated…? Complicated sounds like a good word.”



“It's embarrassing to say this myself... But summoners and their guardians are kind of like Spira's ray of light. A lot of people in Spira depend on us. I learned… to practice smiling… when I'm sad, you know? I know it's hard."
"Yeah... I understand. I think."
”Not really helping to make today any less of a downer but…”



Right. There was this whole bit next where Yuna teaches Tidus to fake smile. Which probably ought to have been a big warning sign that all was not well with the journey. But they're just going to skip over that bit. Probably for the best.







Instead, let's see a (thankfully) muted version of the iconic fake laughing scene.





You ever seen the Japanese version of the laughing scene? Oof. You thought the English version was bad dubbing but you go back and look to see Japanese Tidus doing what sounds like a duck getting throttled to death. I wonder if they make fun of that awful scene over there too.







”Right g—“





”Uhh... right... Move out!”






Video: Episode 68 Highlight Reel (Recommended Viewing!)