Part 251: Miriel B

I told you not to let this happen again!

You did.

So why is this your seventh brush with death in a week? The falling rocks and being swept off by the river I can perhaps understand... But you just stepped in front of a cart! A cart full of... of very loud minstrels!

Yes. But I saw you coming as well.

And you just assumed I'd save you?

That was my hypothesis, yes. The first few instances were accidents, but they raised a curious question. Was my attendant increase in heart rate purely the result of proximal danger?

Say that in words a human can understand.

A second situational cause could be postulated: proximity to you. Perhaps contact with someone unfamiliar was the cause of my momentary excitation. The only way to be sure was to collect data, which entailed replicating the experiment.

So you had to keep trying to die so I could keep saving you? What if I'd been too slow?

An incisive criticism. My methodology failed to prepare for that contingency.

For a smart woman, you sure are dumb. So understand this- That was the last time I'm pulling you out of the fire! I'm uncomfortable enough around women as it is. I don't need you making it worse.

A categorical aversion to women? Curious. Does this extend to, say, a female cat?

What? No. Cats all look the same to me.

What about primates? Statues of women? Perhaps a female cadaver?

I'm pretending you stopped at statues.

Is your reflex physical, or psychological? This merits a most rigorous investigation!

I'm starting to wish I'd let those minstrels run you down...