Part 876: Laurent A

Noire, might I have a moment?

What? Why? What did I do now?

I fear it's what you haven't done. I haven't seen you maintaining your weapons of late. Are you caring for them properly?

Er... I haven't really had the time this week.

Being busy is no excuse. Your own life and those of your allies depend on that equipment. I should think a cursory inspection every day is not too much to ask.

...Anything else?

Weapon maintenance really must be done by the one wielding the equipment. You alone have a complete grasp of its characteristics and idiosyncrasies. Now then, when examining a weapon, it behooves the user to first grasp it...

......

...up.

What was that? Speak up, please.

...Shut up.

I beg your pardon? It sounded as if---

STILL YOUR CHATTERING TONGUE, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!

N-Noire?!

Day after day after day you prattle on with your ceaseless picking of nits! If you are so haunted by doubts of my weapon's bite, we shall test it! On you! IF YOU WANT ME TO EAT, I SHALL FEAST UPON YOUR SOUL!

W-wait! L-let's not be hasty here, Noire! All I said, I said out of concern for you!

BLOOD AND THUNDER! Your concern is unfounded, unsolicited, and most unwelcome! It takes more than drawing water and meager sustenance to lay low this vessel! I've no need for a nagging mother-in-law! IT WILL NOT STAND!

N-no, I'm not your... I never meant to... I'm... I'm sorry?

Bwaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha! Yes! You are sorry now, aren't you, whelp?! YOUR CONTRITION IS SWEET AMBROSIA!

W-well, all right, then. I'll, uh... I'll be more careful in the future. Really, I... I meant... well.... I'll just be going now. (runs away)

Ah! Oh, dear, I think I... I think I lost control again. Laurent must think me a monster! Oh, this is so embarrassing!