Part 3: Latecomer's Sorrow or, Bullshit Of The Highest Degree

Chapter 3: Latecomer's Sorrow or, Bullshit Of The Highest Degree

I don't like the look of that title, it looks ominous.


The armies of Lycia had gathered there to make preparations to strike back at Bern.


a messenger brings them shocking news they can scarcely believe. Native to Bern are savage flying reptilian creatures known as wyverns. Leading Bern's army is a trio of elite commanders known as the Wyvern Generals, named so for their combat prowess, which is said to be comparable to the wyverns.

Good thing they specify, otherwise I would have been very confused when one of them turns out not to be riding on a wyvern.


virtually decimating the Lycian Army while it was little prepared.


both to see it for himself and, hopefully, find and aid any survivors...



We fade to a map...



...and the interior of the roofed building.

Good. Bring him before me.


Black-hearted fiend...!

H... Hector, that's other people's blood, right...?

Ah, Lord Hector. You have my highest praise for lasting so long against two of my Wyvern Generals. I suppose Ostia's reputation as the most powerful in Lycia is well-earned.


Your end is nigh. If you have any last words, I suggest you spit them out.

Holy shit he's a douche, and now he thinks he's Budget Luca Blight. Do you know what happens to people who think they're Budget Luca Blight, Zephiel?

Just tell me... Why...?

What was that?

Bern and Lycia... We were always on good terms with each other... Even when you took the throne, we always paid our respects to Bern...

Respect? Pah. Don't make me laugh. The whole continent shall be my domain. Only then can the world be liberated. I lack the time to concern myself with such trivial matters are "respect."

You mean to liberate... the world? What do you speak of...?

Pay it no heed. You won't live to see it anyway.
You there! Take him away!



Yes, Your Majesty!



Yes, be on your way.

...One matter before I leave, Your Majesty. If you will allow my opinion, I would not place so much trust in that... woman.

Do you speak of Idun?

Yes, Your Majesty. The men call her the "Dark Priestess" and finds her presence... disturbing. I understand that she is a shaman of great power, but-

Brunja, do you doubt my judgment?

Ah...! No, of course not, Your Majesty! I just think-


Your duty is to follow orders. Is that clear?

...Yes, Your Majesty. Your will shall be done.


Dear me, the words that come out of my mouth sometimes...

Zephiel. Kind of an ass, even compared to humanity in general.

Also I'm calling complete and utter bullshit on this, if Narcian went up against Hector he would not have survived the encounter. Like, Hector with a hand axe would wipe the floor with these clowns. And can you imagine Hector, with a hand axe, on a throne...? Yeah, bullshit.



Meanwhile, in the lower left, less bullshit corner of the map, Roy and his group approaches the castle.

Yeah, probably. I saw some of Bern's soldiers take him into the castle.

Chad, was it? Do you know the inside of Castle Araphen well?

I guess so.
...Wait, are you guys going to try to save Lord Hector? Sounds like a bad idea to me. Most of Bern's forces are gone, but there are still plenty of soldiers in the castle. Marching in would be suicide.

...I'm going to have to teach Chad how we operate.

Perhaps. But you said most of their army is already gone.
We can't afford to lose Lord Hector. If we have a chance, we must take it.

Really, now...? I'll come with you then. I can show you around the castle.

What? You don't have to do that.

God damn it Roy!

Please, just explain what the interior of the castle is like.

I've got a bone to pick with Bern. Please, let me go with you!

If you insist, we're happy to have you. I think your skills will be an asset.

Yeah, I can pick any locked doors or chests!

A thief is always handy!


I didn't think the invasion would pick up so quickly...

Princess, you're not responsible for this. Please don't blame yourself.
Besides, Lycia is still united. We just need Lord Hector to lead our army so we can fight! We must retake Castle Araphen for all of Lycia... and for Lilina...

......

Let's move out!



The generics just sat there and let us plot our strategy in peace, for which I shall reward them with a swift death. First, however:


An orphan from the Lycian border to Bern.

HP 85, Str 50, Skl 50, Spd 80, Lck 60, Def 25, Res 15



Holy shit those growths, 80% to gain speed, even Hector!Wolt would be jealous, holy shit-

...until he gets to the part where thieves don't get to promote in FE6 and are stuck with half the level potential and unpromoted caps (20 across the board).

Well, that's how it goes in worlds where some kind soul hasn't hacked the Gibson and raised all their caps to 30, anyway. Let's just say I expect good things from Chad.

(I suspect this may come back to bite me since I think enemies autolevel in this game which means they can take advantage of the new caps too... but oh well, that's only fair.)



And since this level is a little bigger than the ones before, have a map! There's shenanigans in the roofed part in the NE, two chests for Chad to break into in the room on the right, and two villages to visit.





Wolt eradicates the soldier and dodges the counter.



Nothing much else happens on the first turn.



Or the second, really.



Something is brewing up in this little house, however...



You get no guesses as to which one of these is a recruitable character and which is the NPC.

Of course. The St. Elimine Church will take good care of the orphans. And what will you do, Lugh?

I'm going to stay here. I have some things to take care of.

Is that so...? Please be safe.

Yes, you too.



You're not coming with us, Lugh?

I'm going to wait for Chad. We'll catch up with you later...

Yay! Chad's coming too?

Of course.

I want Raigh back too!

Yes... If Raigh would come back we would all be together again.

Children, we must be off.

See you, Lugh.

Don't take too long.

Yes, yes. Hurry along now...



The NPCs scurry off to the north, completely ignoring the enemy archer parked right outside the door.



Wolt and Marcus will go pick up Lugh (and slaughter the enemies in the way). Meanwhile, Chad gets started on those growths.



He's not terribly strong to start with, but he can do enough to pick off weakened enemies. He gets 45 Exp for it, so that was nice.



In a strange twist of fate, Allen not only hits with both attacks, he dodges, too!



Bors, Lot, and...



...Lance get to work on the soldiers in the east.



Shanna gets to pick off a softened-up one and gets fucking benched



Allen kills this guy, too. He's on a roll!



So's Wolt, one-rounding one of the soldiers in the west for a rather Hector level.



At least Shanna's good for something.


Here, take this and go quickly. We may be occupied by Bern, but we're still Lycians at heart!

She picks up a Mend staff, which is slightly better than the Heal one Elen is currently doing her very best to break.



Allen thinks he's done enough for a day and goes back to his old habits of missing half his attacks.

Finally, I could have waited until Wolt gets his arse up to the hut and deals with the archer, but Marcus decides that fuck that, he's giving the guy an aggressive haircut.



Like so.

He gains four experience points. Still worth it.



This ends our turn, and also causes the roof on the building in the north-east to fly off.



Oh, it's this asshole again.

What's left of the enemy are likely putting up one last fight.



SHIT

No need, milady. We can handle them without so much as breaking a sweat.

Annnd there goes the tension.

_Milady.

......

Mystery Dragon Lady is unconvinced, or maybe she just doesn't like Narcian's face. Possibly both.

Not now, Idun. Send the dragons back to Bern as planned.

I still refuse to believe these scrubs could take on Hector and not only live but win, but any two of them (or a dragon!) would kinda stomp Roy's army before they could say "hax".

Yes, Your Highness. As you will.

Fortunately for us, the only one who's staying behind is the shitty one.

......


Narcian, I leave Lycia in your hands.

...What shall I do with the remnants of the Lycian army?

Kill all who stand against you.

...What of women and children?


Grind them to dust. Ensure no others dare dream of opposing us.

Of course, Your Majesty. Hm hm hm...



The people who could actually have challenged Roy's band fuck off to the east...



...and Narcian parks his slimy behind on the throne.

Well, I think it's time I left as well. Slater, I entrust the castle to you.

Might I inquire where you are going, sire?

A marquess who turned against Lycia has a special gift for me. He says it's a girl of Eturian nobility... Hm hm hm...

SUDDEN SCENE CHANGE

Prison asteroid of Nippon V, Intelligent System. Stardate 2002.

In a dark room just big enough for a desk and table, battle programmer YOSHI sits hunched over a coffee-stained keyboard in front of a flickering monitor. He is overworked and underpaid, underweight, and visibly balding at age 34, and his thick, square-lensed, black plastic-rimmed glasses reflect the numbers slowly crawling by on the screen. His desk holds 18 empty paper coffee cups, all of them still wet.

Enter scenario writer HIRO. He is equally underpaid and overworked. His beard has been growing for three days, which is also how long it has been since he last slept. He rubs his eyes and doesn't even bother to stifle a yawn before he speaks.

HIRO: "I don't think our evil sneering villain character is hateable enough. I'm drawing a blank. Help me, man."

YOSHI: "Just do the usual, Hiro, if I don't finish this work before midnight the Overlord will eat my children."

HIRO nods and stumbles back to his own small, dark room. YOSHI empties his 19th cup of cheap, watery coffee and pauses, hands hovering over the keyboard. He must assign a constitution score to this pegasus knight, but the appearance of HIRO has derailed his train of thought.

He shakes his head and lets his hand fall, hitting a key at random. It's four. Four sounds good to him. It's no longer his problem.

SUDDEN SCENE CHANGE



oh yeah and fuck this guy too. Happily however, unlike Narcian we will be allowed to kill him before the map is over.

Yes, the marquess tells me she's a beautiful thing.

You must be looking forward to it, sire. Please be careful on your way there.

You be careful too, Slater. Don't let these scattered remnants defeat you. Should you fail, I personally will order your evisceration.

I don't think Narcian understands the whole "people die when they are killed" thing. I will have to show him.



Ha ha ha ha...!



We're down one douche. Slater takes the throne (because of course he does) and as the enemy phase starts, two cavaliers spawn in from the right. I guess this also explains why the generics at the start just sat there and let us invade the place: they don't get paid enough to deal with Rapistdee and Rapistdum every time the leader of an enemy nation comes charging in with a small army.



The cavs will make a pain of themselves eventually, but it's a couple of turns from now, so we don't need to care just yet. Meanwhile, Roy's our boy.



God damn it Allen



Wolt shows everyone how it's done.



And Lance (naturally) lands both his hits. Sadly, he does not proc his 2% crit chance, but he's still better than Allen.



Let's try this again.



God damn it Wade. Now this guy is free to chuck a javelin at Roy next turn, I hope you're both very proud of yourselves.



Wade kills another soldier, though. By wasting my precious hand axe uses. But hell, I'll take it after the last attempt.



And finally, Marcus is in range to visit the hut.


Please, let me fight with you! I don't have any useful information, but I can use a bit of magic! I'm sure I can help you!

Marcus, being older and wiser than Roy, does not attempt to turn down a free Star of Destiny recruit. Lugh pops out and is immediately controllable.


A young mage. Grew up in an orphanage destroyed by Bern.

Our very first caster! Lugh's growths are HP 50, Mag 40, Skl 50, Spd 50, Lck 35, Def 15, Res 30, which is pretty respectable! ...But his bases are only slightly better than Elen's, so he'll need babying. Still, at least he can do damage which means he can gain more than 11 points of experience per player turn.



Roy turns a nameless soldier into rust upon his blade, and... does not profit terribly from it. But most of our level-ups, though sparse, have had at least one Good Stat in them though, so it's far too early to get depressed. I believe in you, Roy.



Lance isn't about to let a nobody like the protagonist show him up, so he gets flashy. Then he gets numbers.

I believe in Lance too. Possibly a little bit more so than Roy, but don't tell him that.



More cavs spawn in. The first couple are sitting up in the NW corner.



Wade squishes a knight. Half the stats, probably twice the utility of Roy's level.



He's taking a bit of a beating, but he should be fi



...

I forgot to check the cavs for javelins. That could have been bad.



Little of note happens on the enemy turn. No more cavaliers spawn.



Shanna gets another kill! Not that she has deserved it, mind.



Bors will choke this point.






Bors will be Bors.



Roy thinks it's worth wasting a couple of rapier uses to one-round this guy.



Allen tries to help too I guess but you shouldn't expect too m





You know what, Allen? All is not forgiven, but a whole damn lot is. Keep it up.



That EXP gain. Mm, mm, mm. Sadly though, it's all Chad's getting on this map.

still better than Shanna



Just a couple of knights left below. They're tough, though.



Lance only does two damage!



Deke tries to help him, but Lance is too attached to his lance to level up his sword skills. Sad.



Lot does away with it instead.



Roy could try his hand at this, but Slater's a little hardier than Ruud. Five damage per rapier use isn't worth it.



Wolt does more damage than Lance.



This knight does have a vulnerary I was going to have Chad nick, but I forgot to check for javelins again so he attacked Wolt and died, the end.



Chad gets to work on the chests instead. There's a Halberd in this one. It's a D-rank axe effective against cavaliers and paladins, which is nice. Heavy, though, and only 18 uses. I'll probably just keep it pristine forever.



Deke took back the Armorslayer and parked himself in front of the throne. He doubles and can two-shot Slater with it, if both swings connect.

...What awaits me... is a fate worse than death...!!

Oh, I wouldn't worry too hard about that.



Deke dodges.



Slater does not.





That's the last enemy. I have Chad loot the second chest (3000 moneys) and Elen heal a bunch of people (0 moneys) and then Roy wipes the Slater off the throne and sits down.

Scene.


We cound Lord Hector in the dungeon!

You did?! Is he all right?

He's gravely wounded...



Lord Hector! That gaping wound...! We must get you help! Here, lean on my shoulder...



Lord Hector...

We were taken by surprise... We'd have never supposed that Bern had summoned dragons...!

Dragons?!

Yes... The same dragons that humans fought against in the Scouring...

The Scouring? I learned of that in my studies. Eons ago, dragon and human each had dominion of half of Elibe. The Scouring was a war for total control of the continent...

Roy I love you and all but don't infodump over Hector's last moments, you little shit!

(also shouldn't you know a little more than that about dragons give your dad is both a dragon slayer and most likely dragon layer as well)

Very good, lad... The Eight Legends... defeated the dragons and led the humans to... victory...

"Your dad and I did something similar like 20 years back, it was pretty rad, too bad you weren't around to see it, could have learned a few things."

How did Bern summon dragons...?

I... haven't the faintest... But... Bern was once the dragons' domain... Hartmut, one of the Eight Legends... was the founder of Bern... Perhaps... the reason... lies there...

Lord Hector!

Roy... Go to Ostia... You must... lead what remains of the Lycian Army... in my place...

Me...? But...

Fear not... in Ostia... is a weapon... that... can take down a dragon...

A weapon?

Lilina can tell you more... Please take care of her... She... may act strong... But she is still a child... Please... don't let... her... d...

I promise you, I won't.

...Lilina... Let me... see you... just... once more...
Hrk...!!






I'm sorry to cut this short without a single humorous sprite edit but I'm in a bit of a state of emergency you see it seems to suddenly have started raining here god damn it Hector why