Part 12: Screw You Guys

Chapter X-2 or, Screw You Guys




ALL RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS



You want 100% completion?



I'll give you 100% completion!



(Also Roy being cool but that should really go without saying.)



And different levels. Or the same levels.



I don't remember.



I don't care.



Eat it.



You too. I'm pretty sure you aren't worth an extra promotion item.



Ehh.



No.



Some may say this is cheating.



To those people, I say, "read the goddamn chapter title again".



Flying pony.



Might as well, it could come in handy.



So you are.



Operation: Look, A Nice Squishy Archer worked fine last time. I'mma kill this guy and put Wolt where he was standing.



Like so.



There it goes.



Clarine gets a level that's not going to help her survive an arrow to the face from her brother's silver bow.



Speaking of whom.



That doesn't hurt any less this time around!



Clarine is in range of one of the generic archers, but she can live through that.



You.



My party. Now.



Yoink!



Only Gonzales left in three... two...



Zero.

Asshole.



Why do you care if they throw rocks anyway, you're made of metal.



Fuckers.



Initiate operation "run like a little bitch".



That silver bow helps.



Get over here you little shit!



And finally we get the right idiot over to the village.

Sis! It's good to see you.

You've returned?

Well, not exactly... We're here on a mission.

...You're never coming back, are you?

No! Of course I will! ...Just not yet.
Just you wait. When I come back I'll have more money than I can carry. Then all our problems will be a thing of the past.

I don't care about that... I just want you safe.

Sis...

I know how brash and hotheaded you can be, but always remember... There are people who care about you.

......

Here, take this.

What is it?

It's a special weapon. I nursed a traveler back to health, and he left it in return. You can use it, can't you?

Thanks, Sis! I've gotta go now.

Just be careful...

Wade gets his swordreaver are you happy now



You do that.



These will be making a nuisance of themselves shortly.



Guy with killer axe? Not so much.



Not bad.



Lot's turn.

Mieu! Have you been a good girl?

If I had known her name was Mieu you would have got another Phantasy Star reference here.

Yes, I was good! I didn't even wet my bed!

...or maybe not.

That's my girl.

Lot... While you were away, Mother...

Yeah, I know... She went to sleep...

Here... Mother left this for you. She said you might find a use for it.

......

Brother... You won't leave me, will you? You won't go to sleep like Mother...?

Of course not! In fact, next time you see me I'll have a whole wagon of presents. Just listen to Mary and stay good, all right?

OK!

Go hide in the hills with Mary. It's dangerous here.

I will... And Lot?

Yeah?

You promised! Don't leave me!

I won't...



Speedwings and tragic backstory obtained.



Tate fails miserably to javelin her sister.



Shanna...?

What are you doing here?

...I have a contract with Commander Klain of Eturia. Shanna... Are you with the Lycian army?

Yes.

I see... Then this was inevitable. Draw your lance!

No, Commander Klain said he would join us! We don't have to fight!

What? Really?

Yes!

...That's a relief. I will join you as well.

Thanks, Sister!

Except Tate is a lying whore and turns green instead why



Get over here!



god fucking-







Get the fuck over here.



Lilina Pain Train go!



It's more than one stat!



Roy slits up a dude and gains this level while carrying a goddamn pegasus knight under one arm.

Roy is cool.



Tate is not cool.



Suck it!



It's not speed, but I'll take 10 mag on a 7th level mage.



Initiate operation Chokepoint.

It means if you try to get past this point, I will fucking choke you.



Barth dodges 73 attacks and misses 72.



Klain, not carrying one of his own men, does better.



How do you like this then, you absolute fucker?



Fucking peg knights, what the fuck's wrong with them?

Commander Klain! What is the matter?

There's been a change of plans. We are going to fight under General Roy of the Lycian Army.

Understood, sir. We shall follow you without question.

I don't mind a question here or there, to be frank.

We are Ilian mercenaries, sir. We follow our employer's every order. And besides...

"I'd A-support the hell out of you. Wait, what did you think I meant when I said I'm weak against archers?"

Yes?

I trust you to make proper judgments.

Thank you, Tate.



Tate runs the fuck away because she can't do jack to the cavs.



Barth can, if he actually hits them.



Meanwhile,



the people who aren't killing cavs



take care of some of the things



I didn't get around to



while I was gathering up suicidal generics.



This had better be worth it.



This one probably is worth it.



This one I'm not so sure.



Roy also does some shopping but you don't get to see that.



Then he drops the peg knight he's been carting around the whole level and gets picked up by a marginally less useless and suicidal one.



...



You're an asshole. But I don't know what I was expecting from some elvish-looking dude.



Good. These people need you.

(except green fuck you I'm not making him a portrait just for this) Would that we could fight at your side. Here is the bolt we were holding for you. You may need it more than we do. Farewell and good luck, Commander Klain.

Thank you. Good luck to you as well.




We will return to Ilia to make our report.

Very good. Thank you for your service.

Oh, and take this... Your sister gave it to me before we left. Please be careful...

Thank you. You too.



That took ten minutes less than the previous attempt.



Peace out, motherfuckers.


(This is the remix I was promised.)