Fire Emblem: Binding Blade Part #17 - Arcadia or, The Comic Sans of Map Design

Part 17: Arcadia or, The Comic Sans of Map Design

Chapter 14: Arcadia or, The Comic Sans of Map Design

So. Desert level.

ARE YOU FUCKING HYPED

Well I am not fucking hyped.

Let's get it over with.

he obliges Sophia 's request and heads into the Nabata desert. According to Sophia, her village, Arcadia, is located in a hidden oasis. The village is under attack by Bern, and Roy believes their aim to be the dragons said to inhabit the village.

God fucking damn it.

Normally I wouldn't bother to bring fliers on a fog of war map since I have no idea how many archers there are or where, but I'm going to risk it this time since even if there are archers lurking, they will also be slowed by the sand. Compared to Quarth, neither of our pegs is particularly impressive, and I imagine I'll probably just roll Team Wyvern from now on - but flight is still really nice on a map where movement is restricted.

Also pictured, two thieves for vision, and anyone who can either move somewhat freely or at least attack at range

Also I did not buy too many killer bows, you shut your filthy lying mouth.

Wow, this looks inviting.

Follow this path and find a place to hide. Can you make it?

I'm... I'm tired!

Now is no time for complaints. Go, or Bern's soldiers will find us.

What happened to Sophia?

I don't know... She may have been captured by Bern's troops.

But if Bern catches us, then we can see the outside world!

Fae, no. The elder strictly forbids communication with the outside world.

Aw... Please?

No.
...I do wonder how Bern found out about our village, however... Perhaps it is related to the ominous force Sophia detected in the soldiers...

What?

Ah, sorry! Now is not the time for that! Fae! Over here! Hurry!

...I want to see the outside world, too.

Heyyy, I smell recruitable characters!

He sent some sellswords and dragons, but the general himself isn't here.

What on earth is he thinking? How does he expect these sparse troops to tip the odds in our favor...?

......

King Zephiel must be notified about the dragons living here. Zeiss, go to Aquleia and make a report to His Majesty.

What should I say?

Tell him that dragons do indeed inhabit this village. A captive tells us there are even divine dragons, the most powerful of all.
...Go quickly.

Yes, sir.

Good thing he's gone, he looks like a wyvern rider.

Yes... These sandstorms have always protected our village from intruders.

I can imagine that most who wander into this mess would give up quickly. I can barely see an arm's length ahead... In what direction do we move?

Head to the northeast... But...

Yes?

There may be objects covered by the sand, blown about by the storm... Please watch your step...

Yeah, we wouldn't want to step on and break that warp staff or anything!

Look at this shit.

Imagine what this does to font nerds (who are, by the way, the worst kind of nerds). Well this kind of level does that, except to Fire Emblem players. Though in our case it's FOG OF WAR, BOLD, CAPS LOCK, DESERT LEVEL, WITH HIDDEN ITEMS, AND WYVERNS.

So since I don't hate myself nearly as much as some of you seem to expect,

I've decided to bring out this ancient scroll passed down in my family for generations. "You will know when to use it", they said. For the longest time I had no clue what they meant, but it's all becoming so clear now. Somewhat worryingly, though, it still doesn't note the locations of any enemies who may be hiding...

On the plus side, we have some new characters! Let's take a look at

A shaman from Nabata who can predict the future.

She's level fucking one? What the hell is this, punishment in case you wanted to use a shaman but got Raigh killed?

I think not. (+9 levels with average gains @ HP 60, Mag 55, Skl 40, Spd 30, Lck 20, Def 20, Res 55.)

But at least Cecilia has to be useful, I mean, she did fail miserably against Zephiel and all, but he's lategame boss material and most of our units would do poorly against him, so I'm sure that means nothi

The Mage General of Eturia. Roy's instructor in tactics.

what the shitburgling fuck.

...

I looked up the stat gains for troubadour to valkyrie and they're HP +4, Mag +3, Skl +2, Spd +2, Def +2, Res +3, and Con and Mov +1. This leaves Cecilia's stats pre-promotion HP 26, Mag 8, Skl 5, Spd 8, Lck 10, Def 5, Res 10.

HP aside, those stats wouldn't be out of place on a first level character.

...

Let us try this again.

It's a remarkably simple operation. Since Cecilia has the stats of a first level character, I'm giving her the average of 19 levels' worth of stat gains (HP 60, Mag 35, Skl 45, Spd 25, Lck 25, Def 20, Res 25) so she'll actually look like a promoted character.

This means our new and improved Cecilia would have had HP 26, Mag 15, Skl 14, Spd 13, Lck 15, Def 9, Res 15 before she promoted... For fun, let's compare her to the average of our existing casters.

pre:

            HP    Mag   Skl   Spd   Lck   Def   Res
Lugh        26    12    15    16    12     6    11
Lilina      25    19     9    11    14     4    14
Raigh       27    16    13    12     7     6    13
Elen        24    10    11    12    21     1    17
Saul        29    10    13    17     4     4    13
Clarine     23     8    13    19    20     4    13
--------------------------------------------------
Average     26    13    12    15    13     4    14

...19 levels of growth puts her... two points ahead of the average in mag... and two points behind in speed. The best you can say is that she's by far the physically tankiest of the lot, a whole 50% up on the second place takers Lugh and Raigh.

...

And none of this changes the fact that she force-deployed herself on a desert map while riding a horse. Holy fuck Cecilia, what is wrong with you? And don't try to claim brain damage from the encounter with Zephiel, I checked your stats before that happened and they were already this bad.

Well either way, none of this is getting that fog of war desert map over with any sooner, so let's get it done so I can go kill myself.

Step one: Torch the place.

...

Son of a bitch.

Well, might as well make the best of it. Yolo! (except I'm totally going to reload if she dies so she's going to live as many times as it takes)

Well, could have been worse!

Quarth's luck is kind of abysmal and I just happened to have this lying around.

We can't really go very far, most of the people who can move are too fragile to risk it, so it's mostly just a bunch of awkward shuffling.

Shanna finishes him on the next turn.

Noah will be getting a lot of work on this map; he's about the only person on the force who can move and take a hit.

Huh! Well, I'm not going to complain.

Sophia tags along with the fliers. Doesn't seem to be anything in the SW corner, so they head east.

Suddenly wyverns!

Shanna dodges. Good on her!

Suddenly mages! With Elfire!

And a fuckbag priest with a sleep staff on top of that!

Ah... at least there's something nice.

No more out of you!

Look at this level. It is beautiful.

Can you spot the mistake I made? Hint: It's moving Sophia east instead of west.

I used Wolt as bait to draw out the wyverns. Now our squishy casters can roast them, and Wolt can snipe anything that's left when they're done.

...Not helping.

There was something left, but not so much now.

Nice things!

Kinda meh things, killing a mage that ran up and pestered her.

Not bad. Chad is a rad lad, not a cad, and has no reason to be sad.

Except like the dumb fuck I am I put Sophia in range of three wyverns with 50% hit rates and 20 attack. I can't even blame the fog of war or desert for that, I'm just an idiot sometimes.

Let's try that again.

This time, I'm sending the promoted shaman down below, while Sophia hangs out with the other underlevelled and underappreciated ones.

Helping even less!

That's something, at least.

And I suddenly noticed that Roy and Wolt are ready for their final support. Let's get to it! No one has ever seen this before, because no one has ever used Wolt. Believe it.

What?

You do not look well. Is there something on your mind?

Actually, there is. Would you mind if we talked about it?

Of course not! I'll do my best to help.

You see, I'm a bit frustrated with someone in the army. I understand where he's coming from, but...

You understand him logically, but your feelings don't agree. Is that it?

Yes, exactly. My feelings don't align with what I know to be true. And when I start feeling frustrated, I feel like telling him.

Then do so! It is bad for your health to keep your feelings bottled up. Besides, we all know you are in a stressful position I'm sure he will understand if you feel the need to vent.

Do you think so?

Of course! If you want, I can go talk to that person. I will always support you, so don't hesitate to ask anything of me.

Thanks, Wolt. I feel better now.
But enough chatter! We have to get moving!

Yes, Lord Roy!
...By the way, tell me who it is you're frustrated with. I will sit him down and have a frank discussion...

No, it's all right now.

Really? ...Who was it?

He's closer than you realize.

What? Where?
......
...Was it... me?

You got it!

Lord Roy!

Well, all's well that ends well, I guess. I was considering maybe seeing if we could get Roy married or something, but I just couldn't leave it alone after that B support. Well, who needs marriage when you have Wolt, right?

(Also note the S-rank. When we get a legendary bow...

)

Sophia isn't very good, even compared to my benchwarmers, but she is kinda tanky. That 0 damage...

Dorothy kills the mage again and gets a different level. I think I like this one better.

Nah.

Chad kills one of the wyverns. He's going to cap that speed long before he hits level 30.

I thought these were supposed to be hard for non-thieves to pick up!

Saul uses his torchystaff. This guy is promoted and has a killing edge. Also, I'd like to have Sophia attack the priest on top, but then she'd be in wyvern range and we all know how that would end. She nukes the closest merc instead. Very nice to have that wall there, so we can snipe without repercussions!

It's nice to have my promoted characters able to fight promoted enemies, too.

They can actually gain EXP that way.

Quarth airdropped Cecilia over here. She can't really move, but she does come with Aircalibur, which one-shots most fliers.

And no bullshit out of you!

Lilina does better this time.

That only leaves the manakete up here - one of very few things Wolt can't just one-round without effort.

To think, dealing with the wyvern brigade is much easier when you know they're there.

Also this bishop is pissing me off with his staff-waggling.

I regret everything:

Somehow, Shanna still manages to live through it, and even profit... if not as much as last time, rip beautiful strength level

Noah forges ahead and... runs straight into another manakete, fuck me.

He's sturdy enough to survive the encounter, though. And as strange as it seems, he then burns the fire dragon to death.

Lilina burns a man to death. God damn it Lilina you are so fucking benched.

That's something.

And that's really something! Man, if I hadn't just filled my inventory with killer bows...

Wolt and Roy weren't enough, we have Saul and Dorothy's A-rank as well!

What is it? I still haven't heard a valid explanation.

Dorothy, I am sorry. I am sorry I... never understood your feelings.

...Huh?

I understand perfectly now. You dislike my flirting because I've always left you out of it.

Wha...?!

Dorothy, I never knew that you had such strong feelings for me...

Ah, er, um... Th-that was just...

But I am a servant of the gods. I must be equally caring to all women. Please forgive me, Dorothy...

Uh... Um, er... I...

How did that sound, Dorothy?

...Wh-what?

I pondered deeply, and that was the best excuse I could come up with.

......

Our loving gods would not approve of you pointing your bow at an ally...

I don't care! Get out of my sight before I fill you with arrows!

Sigh... What are you so upset about now?

Your blockheadedness!

I foresee a long and difficult road ahead.

And I'm not talking about the desert level.

Dorothy takes out her aggressions on this bishop.

Sophia is not so lucky. All these mercs can double her for 75% of her max HP per hit. I don't see the other two doing much better, either. We'll have to be careful with them.

Quarth carries Cecilia to the enemies again. But then, suddenly...

Oh god what

Yes, Rose, I most certainly did.

These two idiots bounce back and forth with just about every line. Normally I try to show off any movement on the screen, but I don't want to look at that for 40 screens.

They must be headed for the hidden village said to be near here, Maggie.

Bless my soul, Rose. I believe you may be correct.

But my sweet Maggie, we wouldn't want to get lost in the sandstorm, would we?

Of course not, Rose. Then we wouldn't be able to find our way home.

Do you think we should give up on the village then, Maggie?

My dear Rose, you forget the rumors say there is great treasure in the village.

Well, we certainly wouldn't want to mis s out on that, would we, Maggie?

Of course not, Rose. It would make us far richer than ambushing travelers has.

But I don't want to get lost, Maggie.

My dear Rose, hear me out. We need only follow closely behind the group we saw heading into the desert. That will ensure they lead us right to the village.

What a wonderful idea, Maggie. And once we reach the village, we can thank them by mashing their heads in.

Marvelous, my dear Rose.

Let's be off then. Shall we, Maggie?

Why certainly, my dear Rose.

They're going to start preaching to the dragons about the free market, we have to do something

Cath will not be the person doing it, as she will be too busy running like hell.

Not that the brigands will be able to catch her, but there are worse things lurking around here.

Meanwhile, the mercs and heroes charge at Quarth and Cecilia, and this is a very nice level.

Killing edges make me nervous when they're not being used by me. You need to go.

HP only levels don't do much for my mental state either, Cecilia!

The trio of mercs by our mages start moving up. This means Dorothy can nail one of them with her killing bow.

Sweet!

This in turn means that there's room for the casters to attack this guy, since the other one can't reach them if they attack at range. It's fine as long as two of them can hit him.

It's not fine what have I done to deserve this I mean apart from the bit where I got you killed but I reset the world after that, you are not supposed to remember.

Whole lot of shuffling going on.

But we're almost done with the enemies we can see. Cecilia finishes this one.

The mages finish their last guy as well.

Time to go visit some houses.

If you're really lucky, you might find something good. Try looking around the bones.

If all I had to go by were the bones, I'd be pretty b... you know what, let's not.

He is said to race through the skies and protect all living things. They say that with his blessing, wyvern riders and pegasus knights can fly freely without danger...

Well they can still get shot; it'll just do normal damage. Either way though, a Delphi shield would be nice to have; I'd be a lot less scared of fog of war, at least.

For now, Quarth will need to make do with a luck increase.

Nearly done now...

And Cecilia is in range to take on the boss.

A mercenary hired by Bern. Leads the attack on Nabata.

Not... the most impressive stats for a level 10 promoted unit. He has a Light Brand, which is a sword that shoots lasers. I want one, but I can't have it. I'll have to kill him to make myself feel better.

He can two-shot her though, so she'll let him initiate this.