Part 21: Storming the Capital or, Not Narcian's Day
Chapter 16: Storming the Capital or, Not Narcian's DayLast time, we killed dudes! With names! And faces! Fuck yeah it was awesome. With our spirits high and our levels even higher after the pleasant outing where no one important died and all my deserving units prepared themselves for promotion, let us begin the next map.
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I'm going to let you in on a secret: It's been days since I played the game last, and I'm about to fuck this up majorly
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Aquleia is also the largest and wealthiest city on the continent.
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the revolutionary forces are fortified in Aquleia.
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the revolutionaries, forcing them inside the castle.
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Roy's attack on Aquleia is supported by the church. However, Narcian and his elite troops await Roy inside the castle...
Neither Narcian nor his troops are particularly elite. To make up for that, however, he has quite a few of them.
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As you can probably tell, I will be feeding Roy the boots this map, finally having the space and enough peace and quiet to get it done. Also, we're going to promote three people, and as Fir will be among them, we're going to start bringing her dear ol' dad as well. Sadly, he's kind of crummy compared to our hand-raised units - but I don't really have anyone else who's desperately in need of those three speedwings I've been hoarding, so he'll be chowing down on those any time he's not axing questions.
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A young divine dragon from Nabata.
Also, on to even more awesome things, Fae is playable now!
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And what's that, an unbreakable dragonstone? For me?
(Because fuck having a character who's useable until their one weapon breaks. Although now that I think about it I guess I could Hammernenenen it? I don't know if that actually works, since, you know, haven't needed to try it out yet.)
What's not so awesome is Fae is level 1 and, even with her dragonstone bonuses, made of fragile. On the other hand, her growths are HP 130, Str 90, Skl 85, Spd 65, Lck 150, Def 30, Res 50, and she should be getting a lot of exp from the promoted or nearly-promoted enemies we're facing at this point - so the problem should be solving itself quite easily.
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All right, on to the map. We're starting in two groups, and right up in the middle is our favourite scumbag Narcian, sitting on his wyvern, which is sitting on the throne. That has to be one huge fuck-off throne.
Let's see what he has to say.
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How have they come so far?!
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Head Wyvern General Murdock is here!
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I want an explanation for this embarrassment.
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Goddamn just watching that is satisfying, I'm going to be sad when I have to kill Murdock.
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Allow me one more chance!!
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Yeah, you had better be concerned!
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Why do I get this feeling like they're going to start making out any time now?
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...Well, that or kill each other, either one works, I guess.
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And I'm to be replaced by Gale of all people...! Never! I will not allow it!
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I'd almost feel sorry for him, if I wasn't watching this whole scene with a big, goofy grin on my face.
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Do as you're told and bring him before me!
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And in another part of the castle, a slightly less repulsive heap of slime and refuse is hiding out.
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If we're captured, we will be tried as traitors!
Only very slightly, though. With a face like that, is it any wonder he joined the red team? He's practically required to.
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And speaking of slime and refuse, also a pre-promote I'm not allowed to kill, which is just about the same thing.
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If you had eliminated the Lycian Army at the Isles as you were supposed to...
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The two of them disappear downstairs, into a world we cannot reach...
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Fleeing with their tails between their legs... I can't imagine it took much for Bern to seduce them. They'll meet their end at the hands of the Lycian Army before long...
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I want to kill him so badly
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Our information says that the revolutionaries are stationed inside.
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A friendly and helpful church not obviously plotting the destruction of the known universe? Are you sure this is a Japanese game...?
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"Zephiel actually played JRPGs growing up."
"That explains everything."
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And with that, fucking finally, it's gameplay time!
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I only have one person with the staff rank to make use of these things, but we'll let him have some fun this map.
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Special delivery!
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And before we run straight into the enemy, let's get started on those promotions.
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Wanna know a fun fact? Swordmasters get the same crit bonus as berserkers. In Fir's hands, steel swords are now functionally killing edges. Actual killing edges are unholy abominations against the natural order of things. This is hilarious.
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Her less awesome father, meanwhile, starts doing drugs in a vain attempt at catching up.
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Ogier has finally found all the chaos emeralds.
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And Dorothy has bought a... whatever the hell that is, I don't think it actually does anything, but if it makes her feel cool and confident I'm sure no one will object.
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And then, there are chests.
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The guy in the tower on the far right has a Bolting tome...
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...and a bishop on the far left has a Purge, which is the light-type 3-10 range tome. Fortunately for Chad, it is relatively inaccurate.
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And then, more chatter.
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Zeiss hides in the corner.
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A wyvern rider of Bern. Schwarth's bruder.
God damn. I totally called him being a wyvern rider, but if I had known he was Schwarth's brother, I could have done so much with him! So much! Ah, what a waste, what a terrible waste...
...as is the fact that he's a seventh level unpromoted unit, I've a good mind to run him through just for that.
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Chad gets started on the enemies he can reach from here. It's a bit risky for him, but he has vulneraries.
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And really shitty luck, apparently.
...Well, defence is good for those times that ludicrous speed can't save him, I guess.
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The opposition on the left side is easily dealt with, there's nothing challenging here whatsoever.
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However, we do get to fill out another fifth of Roy's support slots!
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It's to stick next to Roy so he can get that B support with you as well.
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The right side is a lot more interesting. Not only do we have the Bolting Butthead in the tower, we also have one very tiny dragon who needs to be spoonfed some nice nutritious kills.
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What about my money? I haven't been paid yet!
And a curiously familiar-looking mage with a name and portrait!
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A biologist hired by Eturia. Desperate for money.
He's not too terribly special...
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...but he holds something quite special. Frankly, if you've been training your casters up until this point, that thing is probably going to be of more use than Hugh, but, well.
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Three points over nine levels, I think he's going to cap that speed pretty easily.
Too bad about all the other stats.
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And now, finally, it is time. Behold!
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I
What even the fuck is this, dragons aren't supposed to... what. That may be the most adorable murder I have ever witnessed.
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Okay Shanna, don't fuck this up-
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that was very nearly a double up-fucking
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Thaaaaaat's our Shanna!
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Bartre gets one of these, too. Mmm, crunchy.
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And Fir gets to demonstrate what she can do with the wussiest sword in the game.
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You know what, Fae? I think we are going to get along splendidly.
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And let's have Ogier get in on the murder, too.
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It weirds me out that he only does the spinjump when he's going away from the enemy. Isn't that usually how he attacks things?
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Marcus has been watching in silence from the bench through most of the game. But now, his time has finally come.
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Don't worry, it's all carefully calculated!
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Munch, munch.
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That... wasn't all that useful.
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Dorothy is killing paladins with just the basic iron bow these days.
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...Wait, why is fucking everyone going to the right? I'll be opening those doors any time now, guys, stop running towards the wrong group of player characters!
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Chad actually gets hit by Purge this round, what a loser.
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This is worrying. I'm pretty sure I need Roy to recruit him, and there's a wall between them!
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Let's continue to bulk Bartre up, though.
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Now this could be fun.
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Fiiirrr!
Wow, that was fast.
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Don't worry, your daughter isn't some kind of
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Hugh is annoying me and he already set fire to Marcus, so I'm going to play around some more.
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Teleporting people is quite profitable! More mag means he can teleport people even further next time.
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You lead the army that's attacking the castle, right? Do you have any need of an extra mage?
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Roy is just not buying anything this guy is saying, it's hilarious
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If he hadn't been purple-haired and wearing green while being named fucking Hugh I would have given him Castor's portrait from FE12 or something.
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Anyway, I need the cash. Come on pal!
...The personality isn't exactly a good match, but everything else was too good to pass up.
Anyway.
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That's just one of her many symptoms, each worse than the last...
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Roy status: Not Convinced, but hey, an actual mage who's not shit! What's there to not like?
Hugh's growths are HP 75, Mag 30, Skl 30, Spd 45, Lck 25, Def 20, Res 15... or at least that's what they used to be before some asshole boosted them by 20 across the board because why the fuck not, that's why!
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For now though, this is a problem because I gave generals 6 move and I'm not allowed to kill him for his nice juicy experience. We'll just have to run away for a bit.
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Chad's in a bit of danger here, the mage hits pretty hard, but I need to open these doors because I'm an idiot who didn't bring any door keys even though I have like a fucking ton of the things.
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Hey, Douglas!
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Really annoying being on the receiving end, isn't it?
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And while it's lights out for Doug,
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...let's have some patented WARRIORCOPTER.
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Chad kills the one merc who was left outside the room he warped into, so now he can open the door to the left path next turn.
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...Fae is not a horse!
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Get bent.
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And I remembered to use the boots, go me.
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I actually have a chest key in Fae's inventory for these things, but again, no door keys.
Well, we can just snipe this guy through the keyhole, so.
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Noah saw that +4 mag he got on promotion and decided he'd never need more... But I can't complain, he's still quite solid.
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Chad opened the doors just in time for us to get at the reinforcements that start pouring out of nearly every staircase in the building.
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Tasty, tasty reinforcements.
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Hugh's palette is kinda... pastel-y.
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More! MORE!
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So much for Chad to do, I should have brought Cath as well.
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We've been slacking off, so now Douglas is going to start moving again.
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I'm using Ogier to keep him occupied. Two damage with the iron sword means they can go at this for a long time, but I'm afraid that's not going to be enough.
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Nighty-night, Douglas.
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Fae gets good levels, news at all the fucking time.
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There was a time when Wolt had trouble with dragons.
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Oh hey, another one of those. I don't think I actually need it.
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The reinforcements aren't very bright.
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Dorothy's first sniper level is not terribly exciting, but certainly effective.
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Certainly more so than Cecilia's lame attempt.
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Of course, neither of them holds a candle to The Wolt.
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Spin! Spin!!
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...Oh right, the new guy down here also had a bolting...
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There's a reason I'm not showing the enemies here, it's because they all suck.
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Eventually they run out, but now Douglas is awake again and he went after this group instead of Ogier who was right there god damn it Douglas you are making it so hard not to kill you for the experience points.
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Another idiot making things hard is the wyvern knight in the corner, because he will happily suicide on anyone who gets close enough to attack.
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I don't give him the chance, naturally.
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"The blue paint is barely even dry yet!"
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And then we had a second wyvern rider! Only a level seven one...
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...hahahahano, of course not, who do you think is running this show?
I don't think he's going to be quite as good as his sister, but ten levels (with average growths at HP 80, Str 60, Skl 50, Spd 35, Lck 20, Def 25, Res 5) has given him pretty respectable attack and defence, so maybe he won't be instantly benched forever the moment this map ends. We'll see!
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Imagine this repeated a lot.
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This, too.
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Ogier can now use the Durandal. Maybe he will, next map!
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A long, long time later, Chad finally gets this door open. I'll spare you the pictures:
- 5000 gold I'll be putting to use shortly
- A Bolting tome Noah is going to have a lot of fun with at some point
- A Restore staff which I forget what it does and will have to check it out once I can access the caravan again
- A Recover staff which I also forget what it does
- And a Brave Lance which goes on top of the pile of like a dozen Killer Lances I bought last time we saw a shop.
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Of all the times Ogier could have chosen not to gain strength... Now his damage against Douglas is up 50%. Damn it, Ogier.
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But on the plus side, there's this!
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Not pictured: Angelic robes and lockpicks. I... don't think I actually need any of this? So I bought a couple of robes because you can't really have enough stats, but I'll save most of the money I have.
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Goddammit Douglas, so hard not to kill you for the exp. That's the last charge of the sleep staff... Well, it was very useful while it lasted.
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Let's fast forward for a bit. Mine now!
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One of Bern's Wyvern Generals. Led the attack on Lycia.
Narcian is nowhere near as big a threat as he was the first time we saw him, and not a very impressive 10th-level promoted unit.
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He does come with a 1-2 range sword, though! And some loot we can't pick off his corpse, so we'll have to get it before ending his miserable existence.
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It takes enough time that Douglas starts coming after us again.
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But we're almost done.
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And most importantly, I am right! Always!
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I
but
...
You know what, it worked, I don't care, next!
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Speaking of behinds, let's get Roy's on the throne before Douglas does something we'll all regret.
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Oh, you don't need to tell us that.
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I could think of a few things.
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When the time comes, I will make my return.
Hint, they involve this guy.
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And with that, Douglas' life has been spared and the gaiden chapter unlocked.
Why do we call them "gaidens" anyway, we have a perfectly good English word for it. Fuck this shit, next, we do a sidequest chapter and maybe kill some more people with names and faces, so make sure to tune in then - same Roy time, same Roy channel.