Part 22: Chapter 17x

Right from the outset, we're going to run into some issues with this chapter.



For reasons I'm not quite sure about, Blazer has decided that one of the gaiden bosses is going to be an anime character.

: We're looking for a ship to cross over to Aegis.

: Why not just walk across a bridge...

: Magnians won't just stand by and let us do that.

: Oh? And who the hell might you be, anyway? We're pirates, so I wouldn't suggest getting in a mess with us.

: Kelik Zenair, a swordsman and leader of the Legend Mercenaries.



: What? What did I say?

: You're a swordsman, right? I can't let a swordsman walk away without a fight first.

For those of you who don't watch a lot of anime, Roronoa Zoro is one of the main characters from One Piece, a show about pirates with superpowers. Of all the characters to make a cameo in this game, this is just a bizarre choice.

: Oh, you think you're tough?

: I'm not really good with words. Should I show you?

: ...No, maybe another time. I need a ship right now.

: I think I can help you with that. My captain might lend you a ship, but you'll need to earn it.

: You're looking for money?



: Ah, crap. That's not good. How about we make it up with a sum of gold instead?

: I told you I can't let you off that easy. It's either a davy back fight or nothing.

: Eh... I guess I don't have a choice.

: Not if you want a ship you don't. My name is Zoro. If you can defeat all of us with three of you, we'll help you navigate a ship across Gilamar river.

: That sounds a bit uneven... Well, what's the flipside?

: The guys who lose the fight become part of our crew.

: You'd really do that?

: We're pirates. To us, that means we have the freedom to do whatever we want.

This is only partially correct. In the show, a Davy Back fight is a series of contests where the losers have to join the other crew. In other words, it's supposed to go both ways.

: I can understand that. I was going to ask if you maybe wanted to help us fight Magnus, but I think I know the answer to that.

: Sorry, but the captain doesn't like listening to other people's orders. We'll fight Magnus in our own way, on our own terms.

: Heh. I felt the same way...

: My sword longs to cut something. Hurry up and get ready, so I can show you what a real swordsman is!



As Zoro suggested, we're limited to only three units for this map. I was tempted to send the Legend Mercenaries at him, but Anakin's required, so I tried Anakin, Ace, and Eduardo instead.

It didn't go well. So Kelik and Althares it is.



Let's go back to Zoro's role in the show One Piece. As you might suspect, he's a swordsman, and with the show's typical brand of weirdness, all of his attacks are jokes based on Japanese homonyms. His most basic attack, which this sword is named after, can either mean Demon Cut or Riceball, depending on if it's Oni Giri or Onigiri.

Gameplay-wise, this sword has a very special trick to it, which we'll see very shortly.



Let's get to it.

Player Phase:



The enemy phase just uses basic FE7 music, so I'll leave it off.



Can't say I'm too fond of how this map separates the team, but it allows us easy access to this house.



: I have something for you. It's a Knight Crest. I received it when I saved a little girl from drowning... but I don't need it. I'm not a real knight. I did what anyone who isn't a Magnian would do. Please, take it. It'll do me some good knowing some knight will use this.



Sheesh. I'm going to have to find somebody to use these on.



The reason why I had trouble using Ace and Eduardo is because all these enemies are pretty strong.



Even the archers can survive a round of being tenderized by Althares.



Though they can't do much in return.



Anakin's the real problem area, honestly. The way he starts, it's almost impossible to avoid getting attacked by somebody.



And now he's poisoned. Wonderful.



Up top, Kelik gets into a fight with another merc. Just look at the size of that guy's health bar.



He eventually whittles the guy down though, and gets this in return.



Unbelievable. Anakin's actually at risk of dying from poison.



Guess I better open the way to Liuke so he can grab a vulnerary.



While I appreciate the fact that you can get a door key if you wait next to the door, thereby saving you from potentially being stuck outside the shops...it's still weird.



Althares and Kelik are dodging machines. And that's before they get into one another's support radius.



Due to the high level of the enemies in this chapter, experience gains are through the roof. Wish I could bring more than two dudes plus Anakin.



While Althares amuses himself with these chumps...



Anakin saves himself from a simply embarrassing death.



To think that this guy will only be able to reach a hard cap of 20 strength...what a waste.



Okay, Anakin! It's time to fight back!



He's certainly rebelling against adequacy.



Next house!



: My stupid wife says I have to give money if a rebellion comes... Go on, take it! Take it before I change my mind! And never come back to my house!!!



It's rather like handing out candy on Halloween, except you can't blast rebels with the garden hose.



A shame. I think Anakin would have benefitted more from this guy.



I guess he can just go shopping instead. The Shop has all the Tier 1 and 2 magics, and the Armory has Iron and Steel everything, so it's a good place to stock up.



Nope.



He may have unbalanced growths compared to the rest of my dudes, but if it makes my job easier, I don't care.



Keep 'em coming!



: It's super strong! It's so strong, it'll go BAM, and then BANG! And then the bad guys drop to the ground! Too bad it breaks on one shot, huh? I'm too weak to use it. So you have it, and take down those Magnichumps!!!



Oh jeez, this weapon...



Look at that hit chance. That weight! I don't care if it has 100 damage behind it, the odds that you'll be able to use this thing without killing yourself are far too slim for it to be worth trying.

At least it isn't a one-use tome, so it's only mostly garbage.



More axe guys. Easy pickings for little Al here.



What do you know, he finally decided to improve his hit chance. Good on you, mate.



: My twin is a lot like me, but then again he isn't. He's so brave, he dyed his hair, and he's not scared of grown men! Oh, I said too much, I'm sorry...!

: Where are these kids' parents...?

No, this isn't a case where one house will give you one thing, but you're locked out of the other house. This kid will always be here, and he'll always wimp out on handing you stuff.



When did Zoro become Australian?



Weird tics aside, the most important thing about Zoro is that his blade ignores defense. Low hit rate and power, and it can only work with myrmidons, swordmasters, and Kelik, but still, this sucker is going to be super handy once we wrest it from its owner's hand.



Like so.





You are the saddest magician.



: You met him? You met my brother?!

: Once. I challenged him to a duel. It was my... biggest defeat. Had my Captain not stepped in, I'd probably be dead by now. ...I knew it as soon as I saw your sword play and speed. You're definitely his brother.

I guess this is accurate enough. In the show, Zoro got an impressive collection of scars from his tendency to pick fights with people way beyond his ken.

: ...Is he doing well?

: He's on Magnus's side, so I'd think so...

: Urgh... yeah. He's despicable. And I know he won't die so easily...

Yes, the mysterious swordsman who everyone is scared of happens to be Kelik's brother. Surprised?

: Alright. A deal's a deal. We'll help you get across the river. We'll leave at night and arrive at morning, so prepare your troops.

: Huh... Oh, yeah. Thanks. We'll be ready.

Next Time: Shon completes his leisurely stroll into manhood, as we face off against General Howard for the last time. Don't feel bad if you don't remember who that is.