Part 106: Chapter the Fourth: Goals galore.

Chapter the Fourth: Goals galore.
November 25, 2020-December 20, 2020

It's been one year since I dragged a slumping club into my home for a Thanksgiving meal that couldn't be beat. At the time we were three and nine, just keeping our heads above water and on a four match losing streak. Since then we've set England ablaze. In a season's worth of games we have twenty-two wins against five draws and eleven losses. That's 71 points, which would have been good enough for third or fourth place each of the last seven years. If we keep this up, and I see no reason why we shouldn't, the Champion's League will be in reach.

vs. Watford, November 28, 2020
Premier League


Watford's overachieving by even more than we are, they were expected to be busy dodging relegation and yet they're in sixth place. Their striker Tom Curran has already scored 13 league goals in 12 games. When I looked at the schedule before entering the match screen, I expected this to be an easy match based upon the opponent. Instead it's against a top half squad.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Boumsong (c), Lewis, Feruga, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable.
Subs: Novotny, Mejasic, Todd, Djurovic, Di Martino, Aarts.

Watford won't wash off. We score, and they score. We score, and they score. Or rather, Scott Shirra scores, and Tom Curran scores. Then Watford hits us on the break, but the side judge flags Curran offside and he's denied his hat trick. Shirra, disappointed with Curran for not waiting his turn, responds instantly and we take the lead. Not long after he finishes his showdown with Curran with his fourth goal, putting the game out of reach. 15,000 voices at the Racecourse Grounds each applaud him with their own choice of nickname. His 9.9 rating is as high as I've ever seen a player receive.

Man of the Match: Scott Shirra




Wrexham 4-2 Watford




He was Shirrasational! He sure sheared the defense! Scotty Too Hotty burned Watford bad!



Shirra earned the award almost entirely with his performance in the last match.



Both Wrexham and Chelsea have reason to be upset with this draw. They'll be slight favorites, but regardless of who advances the competition loses a team that could make a deep run. Meanwhile, Tottenham draws Skrill Premier squad York, and are the home team to boot. I call shenanigans.




Don't worry, the club isn't actually in jeopardy. We're approaching the election, and thus AJ_Impy doesn't feel that it would be proper to continue the search with voting less than a month away. Our youth recruitment upgrade remains underway.



We've been losing money this season, down nearly five million pounds already. We shouldn't be this bad off, our wages for staff and players are still very low compared to the rest of the league. Most of the increased losses come from non-soccer costs and miscellaneous expenses, which means we're being bled good and proper. That, or the cost of negotiations to buy the ground are being drawn from our budget as they take place.



Damnit, Bayern. I didn't just liberate him from Australia for you to come and steal him.



Shaun Davies is getting long in the tooth, he's 31 now and I'm not sure how many more years he'll be on this shortlist. He remains way out of our league when it comes to wages, but in three to five years we should be able to bring him back to Wales for his twilight years.

At Stoke City, December 5, 2020
Premier League


Stoke are in 10th, and are another team doing better in the league than I expected. I feel it would be prudent to start in the 4-4-1-1 as the away team, and let them try to take the attack to us.

Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Dos Santos, Feruga, Todd, Mejasic, Djurovic, Mair, Petts, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Bastable.
Subs: Novotny, Cirjak, Boumsong, Morvan, Bailey, Nieddu, Aarts.

Our proclivity towards early goals reaches its zenith in this match. Meteor Mujkic makes like his moniker by scoring in the 8th second, the fastest goal I've ever seen. Petts doubles it up at twelve minutes in and Bastable gets off the schneid at 38 minutes. We cruise to a victory from there on out, withstanding a second half surge that sees Stoke scoring once in the second half before our defense clamps down to protect the two goal lead.

Man of the Match: Rocky Bastable




Stoke 1-3 Wrexham



Eight seconds after kickoff. That's the fastest goal in the history of the Premier League, topping Ledley King's 9.7 second mark from 2000.



If you had told me before the season that Rocky Bastable would go thirteen hours between goals I would have been dismayed at our league position. Instead, we've got one of the better offenses in the league even without his contribution. If this marks the start of a great run of form, we're going to start putting up hockey scores against other teams.



Welcome back, Bastard.



I might deport him at the window as he just won't shut up. He's not even good enough to play in the Premiership barring disaster to Kovacevic. I'll look for a journeyman backup in the January window who will accept his position on the team, and see what I can get for Novotny.

vs. Bristol City, December 12, 2020
Premier League


My entire pre-game talk is about how we have no business walking away with anything less than three points. We're approaching the point in the game where we've become a “big” side who expects any real challenge to come from other big sides. That means we can trip over smaller clubs that we look past. Bristol City is exactly the sort of team that can put a serious crimp in our plans if we don't take them seriously.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Boumsong (c), Todd, Mejasic, Mair, Djurovic, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable.
Subs: Novotny, Feruga, Simpson, Morvan, Petts, Bailey, Aarts.

I shouldn't have worried. While it takes us a whole thirty minutes to get our first goal this time, we push Bristol around from start to finish. We end up with more goals than they had total shots, as our possession strategy suffocates them and keeps them contained in their own half of the pitch. They spend just 4% of the game with possession in our third, while over a quarter of the game sees us bashing away at the bus they parked in front of the net. Things get even more lopsided when they have a man sent off in the 57th minute, but by that point it was already two-nil.

Man of the Match: Dmitri Nieddu




Wrexham 3-0 Bristol City



From wing to shining wing Wrexham leads the league. We now have a number of scoring threats, and it makes any single injury or slump much less of a big deal. We're also deep enough that I've got multiple good options at central and right offensive midfield. Petts, Djurovic, and Nieddu all compete for two spots on the pitch, and any one of them could step in if Shirra were to get hurt.



You can check to see what transfer rumors are flying around under the News subheading of the league. When I do, I see a lot of teams looking at our players and whetting their appetites. Bastable and Mujkic aren't for sale at twice those prices, but I'm happy to let a mediocre prospect like Chapman go for a couple million. I'll offer him to the interested parties.



Well, I know what formation the team will field when we visit Blackburn.

At Blackburn Rovers, December 19, 2020
Premier League


The Rovers are another team who are in the top ten when we play them. I usually wouldn't send us out in the 4-2-3-1 when playing an away game, but the scouting report doesn't lie. I tweak our strategy so that our players focus less on maintaining possession and drop deeper on defense to prevent Blackburn from turning our aggressiveness against us.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Standard
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Boumsong (c), Todd, Mejasic, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable.
Subs: Novotny, Feruga, Simpson, Mair, Djurovic, Bailey, Aarts.

Blackburn gives us a taste of our own medicine, with a goal before sixty seconds has elapsed. It's safe to say that the modified tactics weren't working quite yet. We right the ship quickly, though, with Bastable picking up the first of his two goals on the day. It's smooth sailing, capped by a soft penalty that Shirra puts it away. Things risk getting interesting again when Blackburn puts one past Kovacevic, but the goal is called off and they never cut our lead back to one. Watching this match I felt the reverse of what I did during the West Ham one from October where we pissed away an early lead. It's a much better feeling.

Man of the Match: Rocky Bastable.




Blackburn 1-3 Wrexham



We were given a gift on that penalty, but it didn't change the outcome. I commiserate with Blackburn at my post-match press conference, though. I'll take any chance to stick it in the FA's eye.



The reporters will consistently try to start drama between you and other managers. Even the ones with an Old & Boring personality. It's difficult to give a compliment to an opponent without some jerk with a press pass calling you a scaredy-cat, or some other jerk talking about your attempts to play mind-games with your opponent.



Bolstered by a run of lesser opponents, the Dragons has moved all the way up to third place in the league. Over that stretch we've scored thirteen goals while allowing four. It gets harder from here. We play Arsenal, Manchester City, and Chelsea over our next five league matches. If we can keep from being knocked below fifth place after that stretch the chances of us making the Champion's League increase to the point where we can start talking about it as a realistic outcome.