Part 167: Chapter the Third: The irrepressible Thiago.
Chapter the Third: The irrepressible Thiago.October 1, 2024-October 31, 2024
The good news is that I don't expect we're going to lose in the same frustrating manner that we did against Chesterfield and Arsenal. The bad news is that we're straight off to Paris to face PSG, which would be a tough ask even if we were in excellent form. Hopefully we can find the net and keep them from scoring too much.
Next June will see the US National team matched against two parts of the UK I think we can beat, and who both have ludicrously inflated FIFA rankings right now. Scotland is ranked 13th right now for no good reason, while Wales is ranked 5th despite not even making the semifinals at Euro 2024. They should both be top 20 nations come next June, at which point they'll serve to make us look better and allow me to brag to US Soccer how far I've taken the national team.
I also finally got around to filling out the USMNT staff. Mark Gregor is AU-Tim Howard, who didn't retire until after the 2018-2019 season. He's an excellent goalkeeping coach, and if this were a few years ago I'd consider hiring him at Wrexham. Ste Brazier is AU-Landon Donovan, the best outfield player ever produced by the United States, who didn't retire in 2014 like our Lando and went on to kick ass for Ajax before hanging up his cleats. Last is Tom Scott, or AU-Geoff Cameron. It makes me want to find AU-Clint Dempsey and really get the nostalgia going.
Aww, AU-DaMarcus Beasley won't join the reunion.
I'm going to irritate some coaches when we play our next two friendlies.
Project “Get Bailey a cap” continues.
At Paris Saint-Germain, October 2, 2024
Champions League, Group B
PSG are one of the few teams in the world that are favorites to beat us when we come visiting. Hopefully our luck will even out and we'll take a win and a commanding advantage in our group. I don't want to think what our morale will look like if we lose a third game in a row, especially if we do everything but win as we have in the last two matches.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Ünsal, Bailey, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Petts, Taborda, Stringel, Aarts.
Collett can't give us the early lead, his header from the far corner is saved by the PSG keeper. Have I mentioned that they've only given up four goals all season? Our own defense is doing a good job limiting the home team to long range efforts, but they score from a set piece and we're forced to attack in an effort to get the equalizer. That aggressiveness leads to their second goal, a dandy chip of Kovacevic where our usually well positioned keeper came too far off his line.
We aren't out of the match yet, five minutes later Thiago burns the defenders to the ground and beats the keeper to a Mujkic through ball. The pressure keeps mounting on the home team as we are invigorated on the attack that we seldom seem when playing defensively. Our hard work finally pays off just after an hour had passed, when Mujkic again finds Thiago in front of the net. He uses his chest to redirect it towards the net, and it squirms out of the keepers hands for an own goal and brings us level. But Thiago isn't done. Just after Kovacevic makes a key save he once again runs rampant through the Parisian defense and hammers home Stringel's pass to give us our first lead of the day. He'd have a hat trick if not for the own goal being awarded to the keeper. So it's no surprise when he officially earns it with a fine bit of athletic prowess in the 72nd minute, when he redirects a deflected Collett shot from a narrow angle to make it four-two.
PSG makes us work for the three points. They score off a corner themselves in the closing minutes after several chances, but it's not enough. We've completed a magnificent comeback and in one match doubled the number of goals they've allowed all season.
Man of the Match: Thiago
PSG 3-4 Wrexham
They all ship out swaddled in bubble wrap. The international window is almost entirely qualifiers for the World Cup, so I can't withdraw them from their teams or ask that they play only 45 minutes.
Oh-ho. Who is this? A 15 year old American at a Dutch club with four star potential? I'm very interested in making you mine, Mr. Moctezuma.
They rejected an offer of a million pounds, I'll have to wait a while to get my hands on the kid.
At Tottenham Hotspur, October 5, 2024
Premier League
Tottenham have won three and lost three, putting them midtable after six matches. We need to win this match to keep pace with United and Arsenal, and a win here would finish restoring the hit our morale took after those two unbelievable losses at the end of September. We've got a bundle of tired players, so I've rotated in a number of players to keep everyone fresh.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Loseille, Mair, Petts, Taborda, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, O'Hanlon, Bailey, Allan, Collett, Aarts.
Thiago doesn't stop rampaging through defenses just because we're playing in London instead of Paris. He's on the board in under 8 minutes, volleying in a pass from Taborda from point blank range. We keep up the pressure on Spurs, and they're unable to make anything happen on the counter attack, so when Thiago scores his second of the match we're out to a comfortable 2-0 lead with under 25 minutes to play. Tottenham had been racking up yellow cards all day, and it finally results in one of their fullbacks going off late. It's only heroic defense from the home team that keeps the scoreline from being embarrassing, which is exactly the type of performance I like to see.
Man of the Match: Thiago
Tottenham 0-2 Wrexham
Is there anyone they can't buy?
Maybe there is! Maybe they're topped out at £199m a year in wages! I hope someone comes along and spirits Lienard away, though.
Ouattara is older than I like, at 28, but he's just what we need to firm up our midfield . Man City want £50m for him. I'm going to see if I can get them down to £17m.
I lodged a £12.5m bid. They said no.
I'm going to keep making derisory bids to drive a wedge between Ouattara and the Man City front office. It's fun to tamper with other teams players.
I'm not giving the players a chance to talk and screw up the impact of my stirring words. The kids eat up my brand of inspiration.
We were not nearly as good as we needed to be, and Lang's late winner was lucky. At least Singapore should be easy.
Another match where we didn't play well enough, but Singapore never had a chance even if the final score doesn't match our supremacy on the field.
I couldn't help it! We had over a dozen players who were supposed to limit their playing time to 45 minutes, some of them had to play more.
USA! USA! USA!
You again? Well, I'll do my level best to get you fired again. No team should have to suffer though having the worst coach in this universe.
vs Leeds United, October 19, 2024
Premier League
Leeds hired former scourge of Southampton Noel Tosh, and it hasn't proven a total disaster yet. They're still not doing well, but they've yet to jump headfirst at a chance for relegation. They're actually only one place behind Chelsea on the table. That's not as impressive as it sounds, Chelsea are in 13th place. Still, that's better than most of the performances this guy inspires.
A lot of our players are worn down from the international games, so it's time to get some of our squad players like Allan and O'Hanlon some playing time. Taffarel and Parr are both back in the starting 11 after their absence from injury.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, O'Hanlon, Taffarel, Mair, Petts, Parr, Allan, Mujkic (c), Aarts.
Subs: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Bailey, Ünsal, Collett, Thiago.
We look like we're playing against kids early, but Parr gets hurt late in the first half in his first game back from the trainer's room. All our cracking Leeds about the head and neck hasn't given us a lead. It's coming, though, and a Collett effort pays off just after intermission. It would be nice to add a second, a two goal advantage would have kept my heart rate from spiking when Leeds sends a shot off the crossbar with 20 minutes to play.
We maintain the clean sheet, but a 1-0 win against the lower-middle class of the league is not what I want to see no matter how much squad rotation I've done. But a win is a win, however it happens. The three points means that we go two up on Man United, who drew with Sheffield; and three on Arsenal, who got bombed at home by relegation bait Newcastle.
Man of the Match: Alex O'Hanlon
Wrexham 1-0 Leeds
Mr. Glass is out another month. He's played 33 games for us since coming over three summers ago. No wonder United were willing to let us have him.
/tips cap.
vs Dynamo Kyiv, October 23, 2024
Champions League, Group B
I'm not looking forward to our visit to Ukraine's capital in November, but for now Kyiv can be the ones schlepping across the continent to play in a foreign stadium under very different conditions than they're used to. I've arranged for the Welsh hospitality board to give each Dynamo player a sheep when they arrive in town, hopefully they'll wear themselves out on those ewes the night before gameday.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Ünsal, Shirra, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Hammatt, Mair, Petts, Allan, Aarts.
Kyiv hasn't even gotten a shot in after the first half, but if we don't score we don't win. We fall behind after Kyiv gets lucky on a set piece. It's their first shot all day. I decide to throw caution to the wind, bringing on Aarts and going to the 3-4-3, we need to batter the wall down and score twice in the final 20 minutes.
The change in formation makes all the difference, as the additional attackers finally overwhelm the Ukrainian opposition. Thiago scores the equalizer when he, Aarts, and Stringel are all lurking in the box and the two centerbacks can't cover them all. He adds the winner four minutes later. The victory was a close run thing, though, and I take out my frustration on the team in the post game chat. Meanwhile we've got 9 points from three matches, while PSG sit on two points after losing to us and drawing in Switzerland and Ukraine.
Man of the Match: Thiago
Wrexham 2-1 Kyiv
At West Bromwich Albion, October 26, 2024
Premier League
We don't have a match for a week after this, and we can thank our loss to Chesterfield for that. So it's a chance for us to play our full strength squad, and take it to West Brom.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Ünsal, Shirra, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Mair, Petts, Taborda, Aarts.
The lads don't make me wait long, with String launching a shot into the roof of the net after a great pass from Shirra in the fifth minute. Over the next forty minutes we force two West Brom players out of the match with injuries, but can't score again. That means the score is tied when Quiboulaz unnecessarily runs down a ball that Kovacevic was about to pick up, they collide and Quiboulaz accidentally puts it across the goalline.
We're scuffling, so I switch us to the 3-4-3. It paid off last game, and it pays off again, with Shirra playing as a deep lying forward and picking up the goal. Three minutes later Thiago scores again, his 12th goal in 12 games this season, and West Brom are dumbstruck by our change in style. We play so well after going to the 3-4-3 that I can't even complain after the game about our lackluster performance over the first 70 minutes.
Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel
West Brom 1-3 Wrexham
USMNT
I became a bit happier with our performance against Hungary when I realized they were actually a decent team, and we did what we were supposed to against Singapore. Hopefully the Chile match doesn't get rescheduled and we get to play Wales and Scotland in June. All three of those matches are winnable, and it would be nice to kick the FIFA rankings right in the yarbles.
Wrexham
This is the way! I had a good feeling after the PSG game, and we're firmly back in form as we head into the winter months. We've got a lead in the league, though it doesn't look like Arsenal or United are going away anytime soon. As importantly we've already clinched second place in our Champions League Group. I look forward to trying to screw over PSG again, if we beat them at the Racecourse Ground they'll max out at eight points even if they beat Basel. If Basel can beat Kyiv and we throw our match against them, that would give Basel 10 points and second place in the group. I want to see PSG explode the way Man City just did, and then raid their stacked roster for talent.
