Part 36: Chapter the Fifth: Hair of the dog.
Chapter the Fifth: Hair of the dog.November 24, 2015-December 31, 2015
I'd like to go home, pour myself a bourbon, down it, pour another one, and down it. But first I have to face the assembled media. So I pour myself a bourbon and down it before heading into the press room.
Press Conference
8:15pm, November 24, 2015
The Racecourse Grounds
: Did your feud with Ed Philips contribute to the bad outcome?
: (Categorically) No. Absolutely not. We are a professional team and Ed's comments are just water off a duck's back. : The game seemed like it was heading for an unlucky result, but the last minutes were abominable. We heard raised voices from the locker room, but can you tell us your reaction to the game?: (Bitterly) I can deal with losing a game where we outperformed our opponent and were merely victims of fate. What I can't accept is the way we played for the last ten minutes. And rest assured, the lads shall know the consequences for that collapse.
: Hihi, Simon Wilson with the Tackleford Soccer Informer. Michael Coul-.: (Stridently) Wait, hold up. Who let this asshole in here?(Unintelligible Murmuring)
: (Surprised) What? He actually has media credentials...? OK, fine. Ask your question.: Michael Coulson didn't have the best game in front of the goal today. Why do you think that was?: (Philosophically) Everyone has down days. C'est la vie. Yes, Briggs.
: Tony Gore had quite a game for Tackleford, didn't he.: (Grumpily) I'm sure Ed's happy with that, but it's the least Gore could do considering how much he's making... (Sighing) Yes, you. Tackleford muppet.: Even you have to admit that Gore's free kick was a beaut.: (Unimpressed) It was a free kick that went into the back of the net. Obviously it was pretty good. David.: Your team has been allowing a lot of goals at the end of halves, your thoughts on why that is?: (Frustrated) We just haven't been committed to finishing out the half. It's indicative of mental weakness, and we need to stamp it out if we're going to become a better team. Connor, you have a question?
: Ashti Kadhim gave up a penalty that was the harbinger of the team falling apart. How is he coping with that mistake?: (Assertively) He's already looking forward to getting onto the pitch again and making amends.: Beyond Kadhim's error, Matthew Ashton has put in a string of poor performances since joining the team and fans are openly wondering if he'll ever be a useful player for the team. Your response? : (Firmly) Ashton may not have had the best start to his career here, but he's young and I have full faith that he'll prove himself. The fans should have that same faith. Last question.: What about Luke Reid? He's your second highest salaried player and you signed him to a three year deal. When is he going to start performing up to expectations?: (Olivia Pope-ishly) I dragged him to my office and told him that he needs to shape up or he's getting shipped out right after the game. It's handled. That's all. Someone fetch my bourbon.
At least he didn't try to blame his teammates for his poor play this time.
The fans are rightfully pissed at our performance. The best way to deal with it is to get right back on the horse and win some games, though.
One thing to deal with is the fact that we're still giving up too many goals on corner kicks. I'm shuffling our tactics again, but if it fails to work I'm going to have to do some real research into stopping the opponent from racking up goals that way. On the plus side, our own corner technique has become much more effective since the tweaks.
The team is locked in until the January window.
Hopkins officially agrees to his transfer. I'll be a seller this window, I'd like to lower our salary costs and the number of players on our first team. If we add players they're most likely to be loans rather than transfers.
At Lincoln, November 28, 2015
League Two
Lincoln is one of the worst teams in League Two. This should make for a good chaser after the bitter pill of the Tackleford game. It's a good chance to pick up points on the road for us, but I'm not so crazy that I'm going to use anything other than the 4-5-1.
Strategy: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Al-Beloushi, Underwood, Martin, Poole, Ashton, Kadhim, Simpson, Clarke, Baker, Toms, Coulson.
Subs: Taylor, Thomas, Reid, McGuinness, O'Hanlon, Azille-Moore, Price.
Our defense screws us at the very start of the game, allowing Lincoln an easy goal within the first five minutes. It's like they didn't know the game had begun. Coulson brings us level in the 19th minute with a perfectly timed run onto a Baker cross, and then puts us up 2-1 when the Lincoln keeper goes to pick up the ball and somehow lets it roll right past him. Lincoln equalizes on an indirect free kick from former Tackleford player Tommy Casey, and we go into the half level. I feel assured of a good result when a Lincoln player earns their second yellow card. Lincoln blunts our offensive, though, and they're able to score with ten men. We go down to defeat against one of the worst teams in the league where we had a man advantage, and once again are wasteful in front of the net despite getting into good positions. Teaches me to feel confident.
Man of the Match: Michael Coulson
Lincoln 3-2 Wrexham
England should advance to the knockout stage of the Euro Championships no problem. Wales will be lucky to not finish last in their group.
Iraqi soccer blogs are calling for Kadhim to be dropped from the national team considering his mediocre play of late for us.
In the space of a week we've gone from being favorites to beat Tackleford to being underdogs against Gateshead. Even playing away we should be firm favorites over a Skrill Premier side. Then again, we just lost to a ten man Lincoln, a team that would be decent but not great in the Skrill Premier.
At Gateshead, December 5, 2015
FA Cup, Second Round
Gateshead is in the upper-middle of the pack in our old league, and are playing our old Tackleford winger Billy Holsgrove. I am fully confident of beating them, and am breaking out the rejiggered 4-2-3-1. Why the frown? Oh ye of little faith.
Formation: 4-2-3-1
Starting 11: Al-Beloushi, Thomas, Reid, Todd, Don-Duncan, Simpson, Clarke, Azille-Moore, Holt, Cooper, Coulson.
Subs: Taylor, Underwood, Martin, McGuinness, Price, Toms, Baker
Gateshead put themselves in a pickle when one of their defenders gets sent off in the second minute. We proceed to stride across the field like confident colossi, culminating in Coulson's cracking shot late in the first half. The second half proceeds much the same way, and Coulson salts the game away in the 79th minute with his second goal. He's on fire right now, and we're advancing to the Third Round for the second year in a row, a real accomplishment for a team of our stature.
Man of the Match: Michael Coulson
Gateshead 0-2 Wrexham
One of these days we're going to make a deep enough run in a cup to get some serious prize money. With my luck that won't happen until we're so big a club that the prize money is an inconsequential drop in our budget.
What was I saying about bad luck? Forget I ever said it. This won't get us nearly as much money as the Manchester United match last year, but a packed Etihad will bring us £500,000-1,000,000 pounds. Our chances of advancing are miniscule, Manchester City is one of the top clubs in the world, but at least we'll get paid.
Higgs and Harrison get the all clear from the sawbones to resume training and play.
The Thomas Cannon Memorial Youth Training Barn is inaugurated, and takes our Youth Facilities rating up from Poor to Below Average. The youth side is much pleased that they're now training in town rather than on a supporter's dairy farm a half-hour away.
At Torquay, December 12, 2015
League Two
The Gulls turned it around last year and avoided relegation. Now they're in good position for a shot at promotion to League One. We're a bottom of the table side. I give the order to bunker down, and hope for some luck.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Al-Beloushi, Underwood, Martin, Poole, Don-Duncan, Kadhim, McGuinness, Clarke, Coulson, Cooper, Harrison.
Subs: Higgs, Ashton, Reid, Price, O'Hanlon, Toms, Baker.
We go back and forth with Torquay throughout the first half, but they strike first on a corner in the 15th minute. Harrison returns to play without missing the step, scoring on an incisive run at the half-hour mark, and we go into the break level. The match continues to play evenly throughout the second half, an accomplishment in itself given Torquay's greater quality and home field advantage. When Torquay gives up a penalty, converted by Price, in the 81st minute, I'm thinking three points and order the team to play even more defensively. It doesn't work. Torquay's talent shines through in the waning minutes to score the tying goal. As much as it hurts to lose late, taking a point is still a good result.
Torquay 2-2 Wrexham
I drop Reid from his Key Player designation to Rotation squad status. He hasn't been terrible in his last couple games, but he's now getting less playing time than Martin and Poole. I think he knows he's nearing the end of my patience, he accepts his demotion with only a modicum of grumbling.
Forest Green is welcome to Holtham for the rest of the season. He doesn't have a spot on our roster and they're paying his full salary.
vs. Barnet, December 19, 2015
League Two
Barnet are so bad that they make us look like worldbeaters. If we beat them we essentially pick up six points on them when it comes to fighting off relegation. Winning these games is what we need to achieve a successful season.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Al-Beloushi, Underwood, Reid, Poole, Ashton, Kadhim, Simpson, Clarke, Coulson, Cooper, Harrison
Subs: Higgs, Don-Duncan, Tod, McGuinness, O'Hanlon, Watts, Price
We're down one-nil almost as soon as the echos of the opening whistle fade, but the match isn't close to over. Our players spend the rest of the match bossing Barnet, and by the end of the first half we're on top two-one off of a Matthew Poole goal from a corner and William Harrison's second goal since his return from injury. We don't add to our margin in the second portion of the game, but we certainly don't give Barnet the opportunity to catch up, and it's a nice, dominant win for the home side.
Man of the Match: Stuart Simpson
Wrexham 2-1 Barnet
The Norwich loans are due to end January 9th. I can renew them if I wish, but neither Azille-Moore or Underwood have been very impressive and if we're going to get mediocre performances I'd rather it come from our own players so we can at least reap the rewards of their development. I put off the decision until the transfer window, when I can properly gauge potential replacements.
Our emergency goalkeeper's done for his career. This is amongst the very worst injuries a player can get, not only is the recovery time extremely long but the player's physical stats take a nosedive while they're out due to the injury.
It's December 26th and our field status is still OK. I'm surprised at how well it's holding up. Only Niric, Insertnamehere31, TheFlyingLlama, Amhazair, Shazback, and JT Jag are still in contention for the prize, and it's not looking good for all but the last three considering the field still has a long way to degrade before reaching Terrible.
vs. Cheltenham, December 26, 2015
League Two
Boxing Day's match is against a midtable Cheltenham side. This game could go either way, but I'd obviously prefer to finish the year strong in both this game and again two days from now against Plymouth.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Al-Beloushi, Underwood, Martin, Poole, Don-Duncan, Kadhim, Simpson, Clarke, Coulson, Cooper, Harrison.
Subs: Higgs, Ashton, Reid, McGuinness, O'Hanlon, Watts, Price.
William Harrison goes down in the third minute, and it's up to Coulson to make our offense hum for the rest of the match. He fails at this utterly, squandering two opportunities on an open net from inside the six yard box, leading to a miserable 5.4 rating for the game. Cheltenham does no better with their chances, though, and the game finishes as a limp, dull draw. It's a poor Christmas gift for our fans, but still preferable to a loss.
Wrexham 0-0 Cheltenham
And once again we'll be relying on Coulson as our striker. He's proven more than adequate, though. I'm only worried if he goes down before Harrison and Bah both return to health.
Still in OK condition. You're out, Niric.
vs. Plymouth, December 28, 2015
League Two
Plymouth was our inaugural opponent in League Two back in August. They were the first to bloody our nose and topped us two-nil. It's time for a little bit of revenge. But not too much. Plymouth is third in the league at the time of the game, and I don't want to end yet another update on a down note.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Al-Beloushi, Thomas, Reid, Todd, Ashton, Simpson, McGuinness, O'Hanlon, Azille-Moore, Cooper, Coulson.
Subs: Higgs, Wright, Poole, Kadhim, Clarke, Toms, Price.
From the start of the match we outplay Plymouth, forcing their keeper to make one spectacular save after another while denying them clear chances to put one in our net. Yet as the game goes by it becomes apparent that on this date Plymouth goalie Marcel Schmidt is a literal brick wall. He makes five saves on the day, winning all five one on one opportunities we have by getting himself in perfect position to frustrate our efforts. Three of those saves come against Coulson, who appears to be in a slump now with a meager 5.8 ratings. I don't fault Coulson, though, Schmidt is the only reason we didn't win this match, and win it by a score of 5-0.
Wrexham 0-0 Plymouth
I'm listening.
I might be willing to sell if they pony up significant money. Don-Duncan is OK as a left back, but he's the opposite of irreplaceable.
We're only a few weeks off from being healthy again. Having Bailey back will be a real help, I underestimated his quality when I let him walk at the end of last season.
It's a half-empty, half-full month of results. We only earned five points from five games in the League, and that loss to Lincoln is a big missed opportunity. But we also held our own against the 3rd and 7th placed teams. We're also into the FA Cup third round and guaranteed of a big payday when we play Manchester City on January 2nd. All in all we've stabilized ourselves as a League Two team and I'm optimistic for the new year.
