Part 55: Mission #52: With Great Power Comes Great...Something

Mission #52: With Great Power Comes Great...Something
_{No, but in more important news, the Miami Heat are about two weeks away from destroying my love of professional basketball.}



: There he is!



: They don't know when to quit, do they? Shoot them down!
This is not going to end well. Just like the upcoming Bulls-Heat series. I mean, my head is totally in the game tonight!



: Lose some altitude! We're dropping the wanzers!
: Are you going crazy on me again!?
Going crazy? Oh, Ryogo, he never stopped being crazy in the first place._{And I'm not sure that Deng is going to be able to contain James, I mean, he'll do better than Paul Pierce, but still...}
: Shut up and get out there!



Damn it, we have got to get less destructible modes of conveyance for our party. _{Also, I have grave doubts that Rose is going to be able to handle Wade, and Korver certainly has no chance...}



Time to introduce the back half of the new wanzers. Kazuki is in the...let's just call it the Dick Joke, which is basically a melee wanzer with a grenade launcher. Why does it have a grenade launcher? Well, a couple of decades ago, the United States government "accidentally" released a massive amount of psychotropic drugs into the water supply of Iceland. Anyway, there's also Alisa in the 6 Shots, Miho in the Danger Girl and Lan in the Firearm..._{which sounds suspiciously like it is a Heat-sympathizer. I will keep a close eye on that one.}



Miho, as ever, is the one constant in the parade of nightmares you guys submit.



Is there no form of heat that does not feel me with rage?



So very close...this is going to be one those missions, isn't it?



: Dammit, he's got a CWDS, too!
And Kuroi has a CWDS device. It's the last one in this branch, at least. Like before, it only works every other turn. Still, this map is considerably smaller than the last time we faced on of these devices, meaning that your wanzers are immediately in range of the enemy's long-range wanzers, which makes things a bit more difficult.



I finally finish that first missile wanzer off. It should have died last turn, but, well, you saw.



Much like Chris Bosh, the Firearm is more bluster than effectiveness, also, I hate them both.



So long as Miho doesn't die, she's got the MVP award locked up. Premature? Maybe, but, well, she doesn't exactly have stiff competition.



Kuroi also has a beam weapon. He fires it at Kazuki, but I use my shield, and Avoid 80 triggers, meaning that Kazuki is about to reduce the damage from the attack to zero! Not can stop us now!



Fuck! FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck! How the hell did this happen! He didn't even taken any damage! Okay, deep breath, he can still get back into his wa-



Fuck! Okay, Kazuki's dead, on the plus side, his estate probably will win a wrongful death suit against whoever designed the world's most unreliable ejector seats, which, amazingly, never go off if the wanzer is destroyed, but have a significant chance of triggering on any non-fatal attack.



Well, at least Alisa didn't manage to get herself killed. That's progress, I suppose.



Another rather disappointing attack from the Firearm._{Who paid you to suck, Lan? Was it James? Wade? Riley? Answer me, damn you!}



In case you're wondering, no, Miho doesn't kill every enemy on this map...just almost every enemy.



Alisa runs out of ammo, and starts hacking at Kuroi with her fist. Yeah, I don't think it's going to work.



Miho steps in so that Alisa doesn't get herself killed.



Well, Lan's about to get her arms blown off...both of them...in one turn. This isn't going great.



Alisa finally finishes off Kuroi, meaning I don't have to deal with the fucking CWDS anymore. Now, then, it is time for the remaining JDF wanzers to learn true fear in their last moments of life.



'Tis but a flesh wound!



Well, I guess I got my money's worth, at least. Still, that was not the most auspicious debut for a wanzer I've ever seen.



Alisa finishes the battle with a lucky shot on a missile wanzer dumb enough to try and kill her in melee range.



Disappointing to say the least. Miho wins MVP.



: Kuroi you're not using your powers properly. This power's not meant for conquest! It's meant to protect!
What the hell is Kazuki talking about? What 'powers?' It's not they're fucking super-heroes or something. Did the developers run out of time and copy-paste a speech from a different game?
: Corrupt politicians, careless citizens--they're not worth protecting. They are the ones that bring down this nation! Those with power must be the leaders of this country!
Fascism is always the answer!
: That's just your opinion. You placed too much confidence in your power and let it dominate you. You cannot hope to lead Japan with the power you have now.
No, he may have power, but he lacks the power. Though I have no idea exactly what 'power' means in the context of this conversation. I mean, I guess it could be his military strength, but that doesn't make a ton of sense.
: Yes...I seem to be weaker than you. Then you will lead this country! The ones with power! Stop Lukav with your own abilities!
Sure thing, Cap'n Nietzsche!
: Lukav!? You know where Lukav is?
: Misumi Harbor... That's where you'll find him. He wants MIDAS. Kill him before he can get it! ...I hate to admit it, but you're the only ones who can do it.



In fairness, losing to this ridiculous squad of wanzers is a decent reason to blow your brains out.
: Stay back! I've sacrificed too many for my ideals. I'm going to take responsibility for that now!
And the screen fades to black, and that's the end of Kuroi.



: ...Dammit, this isn't the way to take responsibility. How do you take responsibility if you're dead!?
: Kazuki, we don't have much time! Lukav's still on the loose!
: ...I know.

Next Time: I bail on Deceitful Penguin's wanzer!