Part 34

Fucking finally yes!


Time to upgrade the ol' Wanzer. I purchased the Laser 3, Shield 2, and Vernier 3.


There was a Shield 3, but it's actually smaller than Shield 2. It just comes out faster.


Let's get started!

What's the plan, sir?

We want you to lead an assault on their coastal defenses... Don't worry, though. You'll have the full backing of our armed forces in this.

Great. A whole army of red shirts.

That's good to know.

However, the ultimate outcome of this mission still hinges on you. Bear this in mind at all times.

We will.

Truth is, I feel a little guilty. We should fight our own battles here.

Men with homes and families shouldn't be out risking their lives. That's why people like us exist... We've got nothing left to lose.

......

Yeah, that's pretty hard to respond to.

Let's go, Brenda.

Huh? Oh! Yeah...


This landing craft has been loaded with explosives. We...

You want me to guide it to the enemy defenses, don't you?

Whoa! Hold it! He didn't say THAT!

Brenda, hush.

"The people who haven't been reduced to useless secondary characters are talking."

But...

Correct. A group of our carriers will draw their fire. You should have enough leeway to reach your target.

......

Yes, game. We know Brenda is not currently talking.

We must succeed at all costs!

Understood. That's why we're here!


It's like all those levels where, like, you're on a boat and there's mermaids or fish something climbing up and trying to kill you. Except the fish are robots!

Sounds like there's some serious comm. Activity going on up there! There maybe trouble!

There's so much activity you can hear beeping from down here.


Full power to the anti-laser shields!


And they all blow up and die. That was, what, five minutes?

My god! The fleet... The carrier fleet... They're gone!

I don't think you need to tell us that, Brenda. It was a giant laser. How could you possibly have missed-

What? How?

Never mind.

Whatever it was, it blew through their shielding like nothing... No beam should have THAT much power!

Oh my God they're actually using the exact same gimmick again.

Guess we'll have to press on alone.

The enemy battery's just ahead.

If you can clear their defenses, I should be able to land the Carbonara.

Seems like they actually do use the name once. Maybe twice.


Kaboom?

...what the hell? Damn it! The detonator's damaged!

Spliiiish...

There's no time! Get out of there!

We're not going to get a second chance! Can I set the bombs off manually?

You're going to get yourself killed!

It's the only way! Tell me what to do, Brenda!

......

BRENDA!

Pop the hatches and shoot the cores!

All right! Here goes nothing...

Make sure you don't get caught in the explosion!


All right. Let's see here...


Oops.


Ahh... good enough, I guess.




I win money!


And we've only just gotten started!

Man! One attack and we're toast! What're we gonna do?

We might have a shot at it if we can find a way to block up all exits to and from their base.

Of course! If we trap them inside, we can take the fight to them!

Start scanning for structures ASAP. I'll get ready.


That sounds like an exit to me.

If my readings are correct, there's only one land exit to deal with.

So if this place goes, their only recourse is to escape by sea...

Question is, is our gear up to it? ...Guess we'll see.


carriers in here...


What's wrong?

That opening's too big. We'll need some heavy-duty ordinance to plug this hole...

Hmm... if only we had some sort of explosive expert with us. Like, maybe a completely useless one. But where would we find such a man?

Hey! I'm an explosives expert...

But if I used you for this level, I'd have to USE you for this level.

Man! Why don't I get to do anything anymore?

Oh, fine. You can blow up the stupid tunnel.


He can also draw the death card, for the record. He has pretty much the worst tarot deck ever.


Set enough charges to collapse the tunnel. I'll cover you.

No problem! You won't even recognize this place when I'm done!


It's... not quite a train and it's not quite a truck. Should I be alarmed?


tunnel! Initiate defense measures!

Answer is yes.


What follows is a section in which you must protect Luven as he sets a series of bombs. Luven can't attack like this, so he cant bomb you, but he doesn't have much health and it's not like you can do much to protect him other than block the shots with your body.


Great! Let's get out of here.

Hold it...

Hey! Check this out!

A Wanzer transport train... Those troops must've ridden it here.

How 'bout we use it to get outta here?

Great idea. Let's go!

Wow. Luven actually came up with an awesome idea. This is... going to rock. I'm actually happy about one of his suggestions. This... this is amazing.


They designed it to be operated by a Wanzer. This'll be a cinch!


"Holy shit, Luven. Remember how you drew the Chariot card? This is that chariot. We're riding it out of an exploding tunnel and a giant Wanzer just pulled up and is about to fight us and THIS IS AWESOME!"


This boss uses a gun specially designed to shoot in every direction but the one where there are enemies. This innovative design makes it easy for the designers of giant Wanzers to include obvious weak points. ShitCo Weaponry: Helping you suck more.


You are exceeding our weight limit, sir.


Now THAT'S craftsmanship!

Hell yeah. Now back on the ship with you.




Luven gained a level, but I'm not even bothering to show it.


We've still got plenty more where that came from.

Let's take out the others while they're still reeling!

And we will.