Part 50

DISCLAIMER:This entire update is me dicking around. The plot is not advanced at all. Almost all of the dialog is made up. Here is the short version: I gained a bunch of levels and upgraded all my equipment and am now ready for the final levels. This has been a friendly warning. Thank you.

Chapter 48: Training Montage Side Story!

Before we could safely move on to the final battle, I had some serious training to do. So, Albert, Rook, and I went to Esport to prepare ourselves for the assault on Atlas...


...Here they come!


Congratulations. Only a few dozen more until the enemy bar runs out. Then only a few hundred more until we finally get that Level 5 laser.

WHAT? How can there be so many left in Esport?

The laws of RPGs are complicated, Albert. It protects the ecosystems, normally. No matter how much people hunt down a hostile creature, it will never go extinct. There are an unlimited supply. In this case, it's not a creature so much as a robot. Natural selection doesn't exist in this version of biology.

Biology?

*sigh*... I'm going to see who else I can get in on this through time and space.




Hello?

Sorry. Wrong number.

Listen. I think I should pick up some new special weapons when I go to get this "ecks-dee" thing.

You just made me realize... that thing's a fucking smilie.

What?

Never mind. Just do that.


C'mere a sec...

Greetings, human!

Leviathan? I didn't even call you.

_{I'm so lonely...}

The clerk was just telling me he has some sort of Society Wanzer prototype and... you know a giant sea serpent?

I am leviathan! I-

Am going to shut up and go away right now.



Right. Albert, grab that Wanzer. It's awesome.


Nice. It has six weapon slots.

Can I get a ground seeker? I always thought it sounded-

If I wanted to buy shit I'd get some fertilizer so it could at least have some use. On that note, go ask the Guardians who their supplier is. We can buy some great stuff from them.

Alright...


Most of them was sent straight to our units in Brazil... the rest were sent to Sydney.

...Sydney?

Yeah. One of our suppliers has a shop there. Want to check it out?

Definitely.


Stupid long flights... Hey, I think I finally got someone.

Chitta is sorry! I cannot come to reality right now. Please leave a message after the beep!

DIE IN A RIVER!

Hahaha, that'll show her.

......

What?

You seem to know some odd people.

You pick up a lot of dead weight doing these things.


You... remind me of somebody. I can't quite put my finger on it, but...

Nonsense! I'm such a minor NPC that I don't even have a name! Now, what'll it be?


Stupid Napalm guns. Skip them. Pick up... let's see here...


Now THIS is a loadout!

Are we ready to save the world now?

No, we're ready to take a quick trip to Cenktrich for some sightseeing. Then back to Esporte.

Good thing the carrier is so fuel-efficient.[/I]


Those bastards...

I wish I was capable of expressing emotion, sir.

That's why we need to grind for hours- so we can stop all the violence. Now get!




If we were using the shotgun, we'd be done by now.

My hearing just hasn't been the same ever since I started using the laser.

Blame the internet. For everything in general, really.


Back to the grind.


Hey! I suddenly know how to buy a new laser!


Awesome. Now we just need to upgrade it and train its percentage.

WHAT?

Well, if you went in with it now, it would be WEAKER than the level 4.

......


You know what this gun needs?

I think I know this one. More power?

What? No. All three!




This is going to be the best last dungeon ever.


Alright. Let's check all our final stats. Here's Rook's new Wanzer compared with his old one.


I liked the name "Carbonera" better.

I did, too, but I changed it and now the old name exceeds the character limit.

Exceeds?

ROM hacking is tough business, I guess.


Look how much better the Dragoon is! Look at it! Especially after raising the percentage. Remember, kids: When machines get used and worn down it makes them better.

You act as if that isn't normal.


This is one hell of a weapons loadout.


And that laser! It's... slightly less awful than the previous laser!

Laser?

How can you be THAT dense?

No, I'm asking you to repeat yourself. I can barely hear after using the laser so long, remember?

Ah, alright. I think we're done here. Next time we shall begin the final battle!

Atlas...

See you later, everyone.