Part 6: Knives and Fish

BACK TO THE BARTURE!


Ben: What?

Bartender: Ayy, it's cool-- Your secret's safe with me!

Ben: What secret?

Bar: Haven't you been watching the news?



Anchor: Malcolm Corley, owner of Corley Motors, was found...DEAD...at a rest stop just outside the town of Melonweed! Apparently, the benevolent patriarch and CEO was... VICIOUSLY BEATEN ABOUT THE HEAD AND NECK! SAVAGELY, AND WITHOUR MERCY!...Police have arrested a notorious outlaw biker gang known as "The Polecats."-

Ben: No!

A:...With the exception of their leader, who is still at large. Roadblocks have been set up along Highway 9 in an effort to apprehend this... DANGEROUS AND VIOLENT CRIMINAL!

B: We've been set up!



Ben: I shouldn't have left the gang there!

Bartender: Hey, I don't want to hear anything about it! You ain't making ME an accessory fter the fact! Just lay low, man.

and now for "examining the pictures on the back wall" theater.

Ben: What's this?

Bar: It's a big, blobby, gray shape. I was takin' an art class...

Ben: That's one big fish.

Bar: Yep.

Ben: Are you the guy with the lampshade on his head, or the guy chuggin' out of the punch bowl?

Bar: Lampshade.

Ben: This your pitbull?

Bar: No, that's my baby picture.

Ben: Whoa.

Bar: Watch it, that's my sister.

And that is all! Now for beer-drinkin'


And trucker-kickin'.


Well, okay. We'll just talk to him, then.

Ben: Seem to have a lot of time on your hands. Not to mention nicks and scratches. Heh, heh. Am I destracting you?

Note: Emmet here is playing something like mumbly peg, trying to jab the knife between your fingers without hurting yourself. You'll see in a moment.

Ben: That your truck out front? I need a ride.

Emmet: I look like a cabbie to you? Get lost! They're not letting anyone through that road block, anyway.

Bartender: Not even truckers?

E: They turned me around, said "Police business only." Pigs.

Ben: Look, I really need a ride.

E: Not gonna happen.

Ben: Why? 'Cuz you're afraid of some cops?

E: No, because I don't like you.

Ben: I just killed a guy.

E: I'm just about to.

Ben: I don't think that's good for the table.



We are just learning the SHIT out of people's names tonight.

Quohog: Yeah, Emmet?

Emmet: I'm gonna be knifin up yer table for a while, alright?

Q: The customer with the knife is always right.

Ben: Friendly folks you get in here.

Q: Emmet's not what you'd call an "I'm OK, You're OK" person.

E: Ah, shut yer hole, Quohog!

You can ask to try, but Emmet won't let you unless you ask about a dozen times. It's a hidden Easter Egg.



Click here for the video of a victory, or just scroll down and see what you know you'll end up doing anyway.





Well, we already have something Emmet wants.



Ben: Here.

Emmet: What's that?

B: Fake federal investigator ID. Could be of some use at one of those roadblocks. Ever hear of this place--Uncle Pete's Mink Ranch?

Quohog: I remember there used to be some sorta weasel plantation or something up the road...

E: Down highway 9, on the other side of them damn roadblocks. I used to pick up mink meat there real cheap and sell it to school lunch programs! Heh, heh. That was a good scam!

B: So how about a ride?



Emmet: It's buried in a pile of concentrated fertilizer powder. Trust me, no one's gonna dig through that crap. Now, yer gonna ride in the engine compartment.

Ben: The engine compartment?

E: Hey, I smuggle stuff in there all the time, and most of it's worth more than you. So, stuff yer carcass in there quick and we might hit that mink dump by morning.

B: Hope you're better with a stick shift than you are with a knife.

E: Yeah, yeah.



Ben: I love engine fires.

Cop: Sorry sir, only police vehicles beyond this point.

Emmet: I'm with the feds, chump. Check it out.

C: Huh? What's this about?

E: Undercover agricultural sting operation.

C: What's in the back?

E: Fertilizer.

C: All right, move along.

E: Hope you rubes get your man! Heh, heh, heh!

Ben drifts into a potentially lethal-from-gas-fumes sleep. When he awakes, he finds the truck has stopped.


Emmet Heh Heh Heh, loose hose, nuthin big...

NOTE: I don't know why the subtitles were always "Heh, heh, heh" before and "Heh Heh Heh" now.

E: I, uh, already pulled your bike out. It's sittin' right over there. Well, nice knowin' ya. Gotta hit the road, y'know...



And he took my fuel line to fix it! That trucker's gonna die for what he did!

Well that's a pain. The barn is locked and there isn't anything interesting to examine/lick out here, so it's time to check out the house.



Here's a picture for reference. I'll just transcribe the descriptions for the various objects like so:

Trunk: It's a trunk with a Corley Motors sticker on it. Tough looking padlock

The Largest Picture: There's a picture of Maureen and Malcolm. Looks like they're restoring an old hardtail together.

Any other picture: Lot's of bikes.

Banner on the back wall: That's the insignia of the Vultures! I can't believe that Mo used to be a Vulture, but then again, how else could she have gotten that recoil booster?

Mink Pelt: Lookd like a mink pelt.

Bed: Rustic. Kick the bed: Not after Mo made it so nice.

Window: This must be the window Maureen stared out of as a young girl... dreaming of her life repairing toasters.

Try to take a photo: No momentos. I'll have scars enough to remind me of this trip.

And with that we begin the looting.



There is a tire iron hidden under the pillow. I hope nobody ever went to sleep and forgot it was there.



We force the chest with our new friend.

Ben: Ah, junk. ...and a hose I can use on my bike. I don't think Mo would mind if I borrow 'em.

Suddenly, a noise is heard!

B: Mo?








Ben takes to the road to chase Mo. He passes Emmet on the way. This is an important detail, but a boring screenshot.



Just when Ben is catching up, Mo recoil-boosts away! Ben looks to give chase, but...



Ben: Why is she running from me? She must think the whole world's against her. I think I know how that feels.



Emmet is a jerk and sideswipes Ben's bike with his truck, which seems crazier the more I think about it.



Note his imperial tattoo. That's our second Star Wars reference. It just wouldn't be a Lucasarts game without 'em.

Ben: That's it!






Ben: That sign... That means I'm in.. Cavefish territory!



LONE BIKE...NO THREAT



FREIGHT TRUCK...TARGET



It's the Cavefish!



Emmet freaks out and releases his trailer at them, taking on of the Cavefish out.



One of them shoots this onto his truck. It might not be so obvious without the noise, but it's a bomb.



I don't know why people even bother building bridges any more.



Cavefish: We have been tricked, my brothers! Back to the cave!

Meanwhile, back at the (mink) ranch...



Bolus: The place looks deserted. Maybe the boss was wrong, and she ain't comin' here.

Nestor: She's coming! We just got here first!



Next: Bike fights, chainsaws, and a chase scene. Oh, and the most old guy of them all.