Part 44
Vandergriff?
You're alive!
Um.
Yeah.
I mean, er...you're not bankrupt?
Oh, right. Funny story. Just after that auction, I get a call from this slug-lookin' fella. Says he's in a real hurry to get where he's goin', and would I mind switchin' my fast engine for his slow engine for, oh, a hundred-fifty grand?
Hundred and fifty. Just exactly what I'd spent on that goddamn facility. I'll tell ya, if I didn't already believe in somethin', I'd sure have started then.
What, so you've been doing fine all this time? Why'd you disappear, then?
Eh. Didn't wanna get roped into no shenanigans again. Didn't have the stomach for it. Should'a listened to my gut right from the start.
Mr. Vandergriff! Mr. Gizzy came up with a plan to beat Hoff Miester and I'm helping!
Yeah, I know.
How do you know? I never told you! Oh fuck Vandergriff's psychic
I know 'cause y'all were talking about it just now, and Puffer's got this habit of leanin' on the "accept call" button.
Puffer.
PUFFER
puuuffeeeeeerrrr
...what?
i don't know whether to be mad or not
Alright, can someone fill us in? Is this person here to help?
"This person" can speak for himself, thanks. And yeah, I guess I am. Wasn't exactly expecting it, but hell, I'm not gonna skip on a chance to feed Hoff Miester his ass.
Oh, great. Someone else wants to ride the gravy train. Shit, at this rate it'd be cheaper to just bribe the Emperor.
I don't want your money, son. I did wrong. I owe you. That's all this is.
Also, it wouldn't be cheaper. Nicolson doesn't accept bribes less than twenty million.
Not...not that I've asked or anything.
Holy shit Exotic.
Look at that Exotic.
I know how to advertise.
Teach us.
Just gotta present yourself right. Charisma. Good clean cut. And o'course, a winning smile. Like this.
...
...
See?
Yes, I see. Please stop.
Hey Pilot. You and the crew should take a break. Could be the last one you'll have for a while.
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
Unless we screw this up. Then, uh...well, then you will get another break. A long one.
Yes, sir. With your leave, I shall avoid mentioning that part to the others, sir.
Please do.
Okay. Before we do this, I want you to understand something.
We are about to drop 350,000 kubars on this. That's more money than we have ever spent before, and if it doesn't work out, we are fucked. So-
You'll blame me. I know.
Actually, I was gonna say I respect you.
...come again?
Remember back when we started this gig? You'd never have done something this crazy. Hell, you just wanted to pay off Mr. Zinn and file for bankruptcy.
Do we really have to bring that up again?
See, that's what I'm saying. Look at you now. You're seizing the fucking day. You're taking those risks and making shit happen, and it's not even a big deal to you anymore.
I'm proud of you, man. I really am.
...
I...thanks.
Sure.
So you promise you won't be angry if this backfires?
Hey, I didn't say that. I'll be pissed. Of course I will. But it'll be totally unjustified, and you should not feel bad about smacking me one if I start acting like a bitch.
I'll remember that.
...yeah. Just, you know, don't. You can feel entitled to do it. Don't actually do it.
Sirs? May I trouble you for a moment?
Sure you can.
Well, sirs. I realise that the next few weeks will either make or break you as businessmen, sir. I realise that you must make a large amount of money in a short space of time, and I realise that every contribution will count.
With that in mind, sirs, I would like you to keep any back wages I have accumulated.
Er...
Okay, ha ha, very funny. Seriously, how much do we owe you?
I assure you, sir, this is not a joke.
Come on. You know we can't do that. You work harder than anyone else on-
Sir, with all due respect, I simply will not have that. It is my fervent wish to see you both succeed, and I would be honoured to play a part in bringing it about. Beyond that of being your pilot, you understand.
I have also discussed this with the rest of the crew, sirs, and they are prepared to do the same. As of now, our wages owed are nil. I hope this will be of some help, sirs.
Pilot. If we win, I am going to buy a star and name it after you.
That's quite unnecessary, sir. But I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you.
How the hell did you pull that off?
It did take one or two cocktails, sir.
Just one or two?
You have not tried Loro's cocktails, sir.
Incoming transmission, sirs.
ARRRRRR
What.
YE DOGS
YE LANDLUBBERS
HAND OVER YER BOOTY OR YE'LL BE WALKING THE PLANK
Plank?
Oh.
No no no. Ah, siento. Very sorry. Old habits.
Ahem! I be...I am the once-notorious Captain Leahy, and I am offering a legitimate transaction wherein I do NOT scuttle your ship or subject you to bodily harm or keelhaul you like the scurvy lily-livers ye arrr.
...
...
Are.
What transaction?
You are carrying Exotic, correct? Very valuable where I'm from. Very valuable. Would you sell it to me for, say, 261,000 kubars?
Hmm. What do you think, Tark'la? Worth it?
Well, it's more than we'd get for selling it at the marketplace, but...
Uh...you sure about this guy?
yo ho ho and a bottle of
water
because i don't drink anymore
Are we ever sure about anyone?