Part 35: Trident Piece #1As we have all oft stated through this thread,
The tedium of Lost Age is immense.
For commentary, then, what can be said
As we here watch the game's worst points commence?
This boat, perhaps it offers something new?
Alas, the game shall not heed my requests.
Directions and incentives are, yes, few.
What happens now? 'Tis plain to see: Sidequests.
Backtracking yet again to whence we came,
These shrubs can only now be cleared away.
Cave #204 does naught to win acclaim.
This shot shows all that there is to convey.
(You may ask why mere prose I have eschewed;
No reason, I was merely in the mood.)
A teleport(?) away, we find a djinn
And then the dungeon ceases to enthrall.
It's rock salt on the legal pad again.
These dungeons never were much fun at all.
By rights, Akafubu should bear this power... But I shall keep my promise and bestow it upon the one to reach this place first! If Akafubu ever reaches this place, I shall teach him the magic as well.
Dear three-statue-deep statue: what the hell?
This "gift" was not worth weaving through those rocks.
And how could you grant him the book as well,
Apply the Banach-Tarski paradox?
The book lets Sheba slightly change her class.
The sparks are different colors now, you see?
It makes ivy walls into an impasse
If you love swapping items out, yippee!
With that, racist journeys come to a close.
At least they didn't praise bitches and hos.
Very far from anything lies in wait
Perhaps the most generic man around.
Sunshine can forge us armor; 'twould be great
If he'd live in a useful fucking town.
Just past Yallam, a swamp and then... a cave!
I think priorities were misaligned.
Another djinn awaits to be enslaved,
Variety? It slipped Camelot's mind.
There's lava in a swamp? This seems absurd.
You know, that's like 1300 degrees.
Serious death could likely be incurred.
(I'm probably wasting breath on thoughts like these.)
Now to explain the logic of this place.
I'll waste my couplet here so I have space.
You cannot move a rock unless it's cold.
And Frost's a waste, you have to make it pour.
This water makes ice float on magma. Bold
of Camelot to emulate The Core.
At the Earth's center, metal from a star.
It can be forged, but really, it's a waste.
Why spend time on these dungeons? It's bizarre.
Can I play a good game now? Soon? Posthaste?
Again, quite far away, penguins are met
This starts a trading game. Yes, it's contrived.
The graphic design's poor for this vignette.
Of consistency I have been deprived.
I'm sick of all of this, I do confess.
Time to waste time but actually progress.
We're back in the first town, time to repeat
The second dungeon. Yes, it gets reused.
You thought they'd enough caverns not to cheat?
You fool, it was all a
With Frost we merely rob a holy shrine
And charge right through another. I must ask
Why drop the shortcuts here, where they'd be fine?
Was tedium your one and only task?
Post-flood, we see Camelot's best design:
It's ruins, caves, and statues in one spot!
For killing God with items from his shrine,
We bit adieu to inventory slots.
With that, let us conclude. Hope it was fun.
Until next time, recall: Fuck Golden Sun.
Prawn Salad posted:
Wait, I thought that portrait was unused in the game's code.
Nope. I was using it for generic NPCs in Golden Sun 1 because he wasn't plot important and didn't appear until TLA, then continued using it for this game because it worked. He only shows up there and doesn't have any lines besides "I can forge this" and "I forged this", so don't worry; it's not going to get confusing.