Part 13: Act XII: In The Twilight

Act XII: In The Twilight
With Dave_O, Krakhan, Diabetus and Slowbeef!

The Story So Far:
Golgo learns the Nazis are trying to resurrect Hitler, and also.... something with the Cassandra-G virus/vaccine.

The LP Thus Far:
I'm cutting a lot out of these last 2 acts, because it involved a LOT of dying and restarting from previous levels. At this point Golgo will throw you to a previous stage if you die - meaning if you have a bad streak, it's entirely possible to get sent back a couple of entire Acts.


Dave_O: And I was totally right. With my psychic ability I predicted Mecha-Hitler.



Dave_O:Also, Diabetus is taking a shit. I thought the Internet should know that.


Slowbeef: Whoa!






Slowbeef: All I know is I got my M16.
Dave_O: Oh damn. That looks custom to me.



Dave_O: This sucks.
Slowbeef: You have to get him when he's not shooting.


Dave_O: At least you're not fighting black Spartacus.


[Cue Golgo's Theme]


Slowbeef: Hey guys? What happened to the Cassandra-G virus?
Krakhan: I don't know.
Dave_O:


Diabetus: Alright, I'm back. What'd I miss?
Slowbeef: Golgo 13 just killed his clone.
Diabetus: ....His clone?
Slowbeef: I know, dude.
Diabetus: Is it Golgo 12 or 14?
Slowbeef: Neither! It's Golgo 13 again!
Dave_O: Golgay Fagteen.
Diabetus: His emo son.


Slowbeef: Wait, am I going the right way?
Dave_O: I dunno.



Dave_O: What a nice shade of baby blue.
Diabetus: This is the nursery part of the base.


Slowbeef: Why is it so hard to kill this guy?
Dave_O: He's a ninja. In a suit. Those are hard.


Diabetus: Hey, did you get your custom M16?
Slowbeef: ugh. Don't ask.
Krakhan: It's a long story.
Dave_O: It doesn't do anything. Golgo just forgets about it and leaves it places. He just sets it down and then later, "Oh yeah!"
Diabetus: It's just a conversation piece he carries around to get people to talk to him.
Dave_O: Someone called him "The Man With The Custom M-16" once and then he's like "I gotta carry this around now."
Diabetus: "I have to live up to my name."


Diabetus: Are you standing still?
Slowbeef: Agh, I just died.
Diabetus: I think I desynched.
Dave_O: You desynched? He just died for us.
Diabetus: He didn't die in mine.
Dave_O: Oh, you're missing out. Here, I'll tell you what's going on: We're in a maze.
Diabetus: Hey a brown ninja!
Dave_O: I think you're watching alternate reality Golgo 13.


Dave_O: You'd think Germany or wherever would run out of laser by now.
Slowbeef: Who's financing these Nazis?!
Dave_O: You. By buying this game.
Slowbeef: It's like Wolfenstein.
Dave_O: Let's just play that.
Slowbeef: Why not? It's the same thing only much better.
Dave_O: This game makes me hate like helicopters and rockets and um, lasers and turtles.
Slowbeef: I just want it to be over with!
Dave_O: This game is like getting raped.
Diabetus: Can't you put in like Game Genie codes?
Dave_O: No, there aren't even Game Genie codes for it. We searched high and low.
Dave_O: They're not even good looking lasers, they look stupid. If they were cool-looking lasers, it'd be okay.
Slowbeef: I don't even have the goggles, it doesn't make sense!
Dave_O: Maybe you implanted them in your eyes.
Diabetus: Shouldn't this be like Legend of the Hidden Temple? When you get the treasure all the guards disappear? I mean you've got your custom M16.
Dave_O: I loved that show.
Diabetus: That show was badass. "The shrine of the silver monkey!" We're Golgo-delirious.



Slowbeef: I MADE IT- What, there's a side-scrolling after this?!?!
Krakhan: What is it?
Slowbeef: It's the side-scrolling base with the paper airplane guys from Act 1.



Dave_O: What would it be like to be Golgo 13?
Slowbeef: Well, it's like having herpes.
Dave_O: well, you wouldn't be able to run ever.
Krakhan: You'd have a spring for a leg when you jump.
Dave_O: You'd want to kill people because they give you life.


Slowbeef: More scuba! I don't even care. Scuba's fine. Whatever. I'm in another scuba level for no reason. I don't know how I changed into my scuba gear. Whatever.
Dave_O: You changed into it mid-leap that one time.


Slowbeef: In real life, wouldn't Golgo be freezing to death because it's underwater in Antarctica?
Diabetus: It's a special scuba suit.
Dave_O: No, because his blood is fire.



Slowbeef: Where did those bombs come from?
Dave_O: [The Midget Guy] swam in with them and was like "Ha ha!"


Slowbeef: Cutscene! I mean Pan N Zoom!
Dave_O: That's fine. Kill these tourists and get the fuck out.
Slowbeef: Are you guys [Krakhan and Diabetus] still desynched?
Krakhan: Yeah.
Diabetus: Yeah.
Slowbeef: Let me tell you what you're missing. Remember the scuba from like the first level?
Krakhan: Yeah.
Diabetus: Yeah.
Slowbeef: Imagine that in a lighter blue.
Dave_O: And gray rocks instead of dark ones.
Slowbeef: And tons more mines.
Diabetus: Feel like I'm missing out.
Dave_O: So you guys should make all the jokes we made in the first one. Did we make any jokes? All I remember is "Tangerines".
Diabetus: Something about beach vacation photos?
Slowbeef: Wait, didn't I do this before? No, for real, Dave_O, isn't this the same mine configuration as before?
Dave_O: Yeah, they're making you go into a loop. That would be the worst thing I've ever seen.

Yeah - head too far right or left in the level and it just stars over. You have to find the right way to go.


Slowbeef: You have to go up. I guess it makes sense that you don't want to go too far down and freeze to death.
Diabetus: Did you just say something makes sense in Golgo 13?
Slowbeef: I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
Diabetus: You need therapy after this. It'll turn out Golgo's like Legend of Zelda - it has a second quest.
Slowbeef: Guess who's not playing it!

Slowbeef: ACT 13!

[I die pretty much on entering.]

Slowbeef: THEY START ME AT THE SCUBA?! No. Fuck it. No. We have the Stage Select. We're not doing this again.