The Let's Play Archive


by Drakyn

Part 14: Gonda Fly Now

Update 12: Gonda Fly Now
Most inhabitants of Gond can be fit inside a very small breadbox due to extensive decomposition.

Jeez it's a mess in here sorry about that. Last time the plight of the world made our heart grow three sizes and then belly-flop right on top of the Devaloka, mangling them all to bits.

14-ARK: Survival Evolved - Loading Screen

There are basically two constants in the world right now. One is finding and squooshing Devaloka hidey-holes.

The other is more and more of our cities becoming gross and icky. Both of these problems will escalate.

I don't have the faintest idea why Plateosaurus is an aquatic unit; it's not even a full-blown sauropod so as far as I know it was never tarred with the swamp-wallowing brush of the old days. It's just bizarre.

Go big and Gond home.

(CLICK HERE for retaking what was briefly theirs that is now ours)

See? Oviraptors still can do work. That's value.

Our poor, long-serving, long-exhausted, never-taken-a-single-turn's-break-in-his-life fish, on the other hand...

(CLICK HERE for tragedy)

...he got bitten off a little more than he could do with.

No thanks, I can paraphrase the entire council by heart.
-kill everyone and build me a giant pillow fort out of actual forts
-meet everyone then scam everyone
-hoard money
-spend all the money on science
- i don't give a fuck as long as everyone's happy

The lesson of Acedia is well-learnt: buy a goddamned Anky the moment you seize a place.

A Stenonychosaurus, diverted north of Decuma to find out where the idiot Acanthopholis of last update came from, finds an unexpected surprise. The Annfwn are dead, but not razed! Lucky that I don't see any roads near here; the little bastards could've snuck northwest past me and stolen the west half of the continent from my backyard.

Gond only knows they're both busy enough.

(CLICK HERE for filleting)

Not so lucky this time, Ann.

No I think I've pretty much got her litany memorized by now. Open with an insult, swerve into desperate pleading, yell WAR in all caps and hang up.

War is hell.

And so are toilets. There is a CONSTANT parade of Maiasaura scurrying around the home cities out west right now, trying to irrigate and farm in between breathes of pollution cleanup.

(CLICK HERE for chewing)

The Gondwanan process: stomp, steal, install Anky at personal expense. Simple, but these are simple times and we're all simple saurians.

Another mysteriously aquatic sauropod and also we can now build the giant super-unit we first started finding in random huts more than one hundred and forty-five turns/million years ago. I'm still not quite sure what was going on there.

Can't have one without the other. And with that our civilization has officially and collectively just-barely eclipsed Toronto in size if potentially not in sanitary difficulties.

(CLICK HERE to remember pearl harbour)

Took me long enough to find, took me longer to take.

And in the end, we didn't even get it!

(CLICK HERE to witness the wonders of Lysenko's Library)
Parcae has completed an utter and total vanity project. Fittingly enough, Lysenko's Library is entirely worthless in our position: we have every tech anyone else does already.

Honestly, a basic school would've been better in every way.

This must've been where one of the little mini-civs the Devaloka ran over was, because I sure as hell didn't do this.

Once a turn, it's like clockwork. STOW IT.

Murder and progress go hand in hand, just like any time. We've already got the land pretty much under control, let's aim higher.

Gond, by the way, is doing fabulously.

(CLICK HERE for mutual fricasseeing)

who the fuck named this town.

Oh! You're still alive. That's weird.

You, on the other hand, I expected.

We only just built it and Lysenko's Library is already an even bigger waste than it was before, and good riddance.

(CLICK HERE for terrible claws)

We're starting to send units down south into the former Marish lands - there's still a few up north hunting for Devaloka - and man, who'd have thought the barbarians would be the ones with the nicest cities? I've taken out three ex-capitals and none of them survived, and nowheresville, Deinonychustown is captured almost fully intact.

Oh well that's


Civilization2 - Funeral March

Fuck! They were right there just a moment ago! Yes, they insulted us, and our country, and our country's maps, but they didn't deserve this! Much.

We'll triple-commemorate the little bastards. First, we'll acquire the largest possible pterosaurs in their names.

Second, we'll see that the Devaloka don't enjoy the fruits of their labour for more than the next million years.

And finally, if you slip him a few dozen clams, Plink doesn't care WHO gets written as what in his epic histories, or even if they still have a pulse.
You're immortalized. You're welcome.


New Buildings
New Units
New Wonders