Turning Tricks Advanced Driving School.... what the fuck Jethro on.... well, what else he on if he thinks I need driving school.
I walked up the narrow corridor, pictures of cars slapped against the cheap paneled walls, man this shit was sad, there was nothing for me here, nothing of interes-
She was standing talking with a sista who wasn't nothing special to look at, but even if she had been I wouldn't have noticed her, because... goddamn. She has dirty blonde hair and from the looks of her she had a touch of latino in her, a bit of white, but no black... well, not yet, anyway. She was lean but had muscle, enough of it to look good without losing sex appeal.... and goddamn, those fucking TITS!
I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin, sauntering on up like it wasn't nothing, putting on a little grin as she realized I was coming towards her and turned to take a look at me, giving me the once-over and....
"Skinny!" I said, like I couldn't believe her, which I couldn't,"Girl I got meat on my frame!"
"You got muscle, you and a million other homies," she laughed,"I like a man got a little bulk on him, shows he enjoys life, doesn't take himself so seriously that he spends all day at the gym working out to cover up for his insecurities."
"Ahh fuck this," I said, waving my arm at her,"I just came here for lessons I don't need, I don't need to get dissed by some chubby chaser."
She just rolled her eyes at her friend and I turned to walk away, and suddenly I heard her gasp.
"Hey," she asked, her voice a kind of fucked up mish-mash of accents, I was sure I could hear a little Liberty City in there,"You're Carl Johnson?"
"....yeah?" I said, turning back to look at her,"How you kno-?"
"Oh my God, Carl Johnson!" she laughed, clapping her hands, those fantastic fucking tits of hers bouncing up and down... DAMN, they was real!"I am such a fan, I saw you at the Super 8 in Santos and I was working on the wrecks at the Blood Bowl that day you raced it... wow, what are you doing here, you don't need lessons!"
"Heh, that's just what I said," I laughed, enjoying the change in her, she wasn't all stand-offish now, she all excited to see me, I liked that,"Apparently I need to work on a few things, take it to the next level, and I heard this the place to go."
"Well, Carl Johnson," she said, and I liked the way my name sounded on her mouth,"I don't usually do this, but I'm Michelle, Michelle Cannes. When you're done learning, give me a call, maybe we'll see what happens."
"Yeah," I said, taking the slip of paper with her number, watching her walk past me with her friend, a little shake in her walk, giggling with her friend,"Yeah, I just might do that.
The dude standing by the table in the corner recited his words like he'd said them a million times before, like he a fucking robot.
"Safety equipment can be loca-" he started, but I cut him off.
"Yo, I'm a friend of Jethro and Dwaine's, they work at my garage," I told him,"Told me to come up here and get taken care of."
"Oh shit dude, you know Jethro and Dwaine!?!" laughed the dude, suddenly coming to life,"Fuck man why didn't you say so, forget that safety equipment bullshit, I'm Toby, dude, come on out back and let's fuck around with the cars, I'll teach you shit you didn't know was possible and how to make it look easier than banging Latoya Jackson."
"Now THAT'S what I'm talking about," I laughed, slapping hands with him,"Let's roll."
We sat in the Bullet early the following morning, empty pizza boxes in the back seat, Toby sitting back with his hand on his belly, smoking a blunt and looking pretty pleased with himself. After my first couple of run-throughs of his tests, he'd closed up the school and run me through my paces throughout the entire night, true to his word, teaching me shit to do with a car I'd never have thought possible. As it was getting to dawn, Toby watched me flip a car in a barrel roll and land it perfectly on all four wheels, and weaved his way over to me, took a drag on his joint and told me,"Carl Johnson, you are a fucking driver."
Realizing how late it had gotten, we ordered a bunch of pizzas and sat out back in the testing zone, stuffing our bellies and shooting the shit. I told him about growing up in Santos, he told me about doing the same in Vice City, and we shared stories about shit we got away with, ladies we fucked and the ones that got away.
"So that Michelle chick," I said, leaning back in my seat,"What she do around here?"
"She's got the contract to repair our test drives, and gets to haul away the junkers to work on in her garage," Toby told me,"She runs an auto-repair place in Downtown, she's a damn good mechanic, loooves cars. You interested in her? I don't think she'll go for you man, she likes big dudes, as in big fat dudes."
"Got her number, man," I grinned,"Gonna call her for a date tonight.... after I've gotten some fucking sleep."
"Shit, good work man," grinned Toby,"Say..... you wanna fuck her?"
"Eh? Well, yeah man, but ain't that a little pers-"
"Fuck personal, man," laughed Toby,"Dude, you're a driver, but you ain't THE driver yet.... but if you can drive a car I give you to Pier 69 and back here in.... 20 minutes.... and get it back without a fucking scratch, I guarantee you that not only will you be THE driver, but I'll give you what you need to get Michelle to spread her legs for you."
"Twenty minutes? Without a scratch?" I said,"Nigga that's craz-"
"Michelle's tits, in your mouth," he said, sloppy ass stoned grin on his face.
"I'll do it in 15," I said.
"CJ, my friend," grinned Toby, looking half set to pass out, stoned out his gourd and needing sleep,"You are now officially THE driver, come into the back garage and I'll show you the key to Michelle's panties."
"We'll see," I said, feeling on a high from the drive - not from the speed of it but the control I had over the car itself,"Somehow I don't think you ca-"
He opened the garage door, and the words died on my mouth as I looked in and saw what was inside.
It was after midnight when I pulled up outside Michelle's garage, feeling rested after crashing out most of the day and early evening. I'd called Michelle in the morning before going to sleep to set up a date, and promised her a surprise. She stepped out the door looking just as fine as the last time I saw her, but she looked even better when she saw what I had waiting for her.
"Hi Car.... oh my God... is that a fucking Hot Knife!" she said, forgetting all about me as she saw the car,"Carl that's a fucking Hot Knife!"
"Yeah girl, you like?" I asked, grinning,"Hop on in, we'll go for a ride."
She just stood staring and for a second I wondered if Toby had been fucking with me, but then she reached up and touched her heart and took a deep gulp and I realized she was fucking flushing.
"God yes," she said, then quietly under her breath, in shock,"...fuck me...."
Well, that was the general idea.
"You like these old hot rods, eh?" I asked as she settled herself in and took a deep breath, running her hands up and down the leather interior.
"I... yeah I.... wow," she whispered, sounding breathless,"I always wanted.... this is..... God, Carl, I had no idea you..."
"Let's go get a drink, huh?" I asked, and she looked up as if surprised, forgetting I was there.
"Yeah, yeah, a drink," she said, trying to regain composure, God I loved the breathless way she was staring about, her titties rising and falling on her chest, her skin flushed, excited by the car, the interior, the engine, everything about it, the whole fucking package.
Thank you, Toby.
I drove us to a place called Misty's, a bar she said she liked. I was just happy it wasn't a fag bar, though my mind changed pretty quickly when we walked in and every male pair of eyes went straight to her tits. She only had eyes for me, though, maybe I wasn't her "perfect type" but the Hot Knife had put paid to that, right now I was the sexiest motherfucking gangsta on the planet to her - which to her probably meant some fat sack of shit, but hell I wasn't complaining if that's what got her hot, because goddamn she was fine.... and goddamn, those tits!
We left Misty's after about an hour, having talked a bit about each other, which was a lot more fun to do with Michelle than Toby - or at least the view was better. She had spent some time in Liberty City, but her muddled accent was a result of moving around a lot as a kid - her Dad was an auto-mechanic for stockcar races, which explained a lot about why she had cars on the mind. whatever the reason, her getting hot for cars got me hot, and her accent was sexy as hell, it had a kind of,"don't fuck with me," edge to it that made you want to fuck with her even if it meant an asskicking.
"You wanna go driving?" I asked her as we stepped outside and hopped back into the Hot Knife.
"Hell yeah," she grinned, more relaxed with me seeing how the car affected her now after getting to know me a little better (and getting a few drinks into her),"Take me for a ride, CJ."
"Faster, CJ! Faster!" she moaned, gripping her hands to the seat,"FASTER!"
"You the boss, girl," I grinned, and floored it.
"You're driving too slowly!" she moaned as I skidded into a turn and whipped the car around 180 degrees, a fucking beautiful maneuver but she didn't care about that at the moment, she wanted speed, wanted to get off on it. I wasn't going to run the risk of wrecking the Hot Knife, but I had an idea of something she'd like even better.
"Say girl," I said, grin on my face as I pulled the car over, loving the look of disappointment I saw there, knowing it would be replaced in a second when she heard what I had to say,"Wanna drive?"
"....oh my God...." she whispered,"Yesssss."
We swapped places and her whole body shuddered as she reached down and grabbed the stick, and then she was all business, taking control of the Hot Knife, driving us through San Fierro, not gunning it, not pushing it, just getting off on being in control of her dream car.
She pulled up outside of her garage and sat there, panting roughly like she'd run the whole way, body glistening with sweat, titties rising and falling hard as she sucked in air and blew it out. Her hand was running over the top of the stick shift, then up and down it, and her thighs spreading out on the drivers seat.
"Say, uh.... Miche-" I started, but then she whipped her head around, staring at me through her dirty blonde hair hanging down over her face, almost snarling.
"I want you to park in the garage, Carl," she growled,"Then I want you to fuck my brains out on the hood."
"Hey yeah I ca-"
I'm a modern man, I had no trouble taking orders from a lady.