Part 31: New Parm NPC Chatter 1

Whew. And with this, we're finally caught up on NPC Chatter. Update number-wise, that is, not in terms of story.

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Welcome back for the third time! Today we'll finally be chattin' up the locals in New Parm.





: When you see someone off who's boarding a ship, you each take an end and you let it unroll as the boat leaves the dock. Streamers! Streamers for sale! Strong streamers! They don't break! Streamers! Streamers for sale! When your friends board ship, you hold the streamer and wait for the ship to sail. It's a "waiting streamer". Streamers! Streamers for sale! They're light! They break easily! Streamers! Streamers for sale! To leave the dock instead of waiting use this streamer and you'll be gone quick. It's the "escape streamer".

I sure hope they're not all this wordy.



: Oh, Justin. ♥ I'm soooo thirsty.

: First time here? In that case, you get our special service. Your drinks are free! What would you like?

: What... really?

: Boy, we're so lucky! In that case, I'd like....

: The special drink sounds good.

: Wow! The flavor expands in my mouth.

: It's full of body, too!

: First time I've had this juice.

: Hey, you've got good taste! This is a house specialty here. What do ya say? Another glass?

: Um... no, thanks.

: Not really my kind of flavor, I guess.



In this menu, the drink names are quoted. In the other one, they're not, but the text is otherwise the same.

I know you were all waiting for your weekly dose of pointlessly tiny text inconsistencies in 90's JRPGs.

: The "milk" might be great, too.

: You know, this is sheep's milk. There are lots of sheep around here. It's very nutritious-- and very fresh.

: So this is sheep's milk. It has a distinctive odor, doesn't it? It's delicious! Another glass, please?

: Ha ha. Have as much as you like. But don't you want to try something else?

: Actually, I'll have the "lime juice".

: Oh! It's lime juice. We load this stuff onto the ships so we don't run low on fruits and veggies when at sea.

: Man, it's sour! There isn't any sugar in this juice.

: A-hahaha! Justin's making such a funny face!



: This market by the port is so much fun. My father brought me here. It's fun just to take in the sights. It seems like they have a festival every day in New Parm. What fun!

: Puff! Puff!

: Hmm... Puffy says he likes this place, too.

: Look at how happy my son is. He's having the time of his life. It was worth it to bring him here. This boy's usually so timid and quiet. He worried me. But now he's happy. Nothing like a child's smiling face.

: Yeah, you're right. In that case, you will have the special privilege of seeing my smiling face. Viola!

: Ha ha ha. What a happy fella you are! You've got such a nice smile, just looking at you makes me happy.



: Heh heh. No problem. I've got the Sure Success Law on my side. So there's no way I can fail to make money.

: Boy, he sure is confident. A Sure Success law? What the heck is that?

: Heh heh heh. I'll tell you what it is. The Sure Success Law for business is "If there are no customers, I'm it."!

: What do you mean?

: I don't get it.

: It's like this: if no customers are here, I'm the customer. I buy things. That way, I always have steady sales! Heh heh heh. What do you think? I thought of that law all by myself. Pretty smart, huh? Heh heh heh.



: everything is so unusual. I love just about everything I see here. The more I look, the harder it is to choose. How can I decide on something? Hmm. What should I get as a souvenir for the kids? Hmm. Something typical of New Parm.



: Sounds shady in more ways than one.

: I mean, if he gets paid to say that, it's all just advertising, isn't it?

: Heh heh! Figured me out, have you? This girl has good intuition about these things. Well, anyway, there's no harm in trying it out, right? It's right in the middle of town. Remember that!



: Oh, really? I guess so, since the fish are so big.

: Huh?! You dunno what you're talking about. These fish are still young. The adults are bigger than the Steamer!

: You gotta be kidding!

: How do you go about catching a fish that's about as big as the Steamer?

: Well, the adult fish are so big that no matter how you try, you just can't catch them. So... I thought of another way to eat them without having to catch 'em first. All you have to do is go get eaten!

: Huh? I don't get it.

: It's like this... you yourself go and jump into the fish's mouth. Then eat the fish from the inside out!

: Amazing! How exciting! You know, that way of eating a fish... it sounds like a way for an adventurer.

: I should warn you, though. Some folks have tried it, but none have lived to tell about it. That's the one problem.

: Y... ye... yeah!

: How 'bout you? Want to try it? In theory, it should work just fine. And the fish is quite tasty, you know.

: Ah ha ha. How 'bout if you try it first?



: But all they have are bamboo spears.

: These are no ordinary bamboo spears. These babies are special-- they even come with a warranty!

: Huh...?

: What's so great about 'em? They look like plain ol' bamboo spears to me.

: Yeah! Thanks for asking. These spears are truly amazing. You can use them for anything! Look here. You can use this one as a cane! Or for hanging up laundry. You can write on the ground with it!

: Hearing all that, I guess they ARE amazing. But you know, you can do all that with a plain ol' stick.

: What?! No way! Look, there's more. For, uh... for example, you can... you can pick your nose with it!



Oh my.

: Sure you can... see? I... can... pi... pick my n-nose just like... this. Ow! Oh, no! Now I've got a nosebleed. I wasn't doing it right just then. Now don't try this at home, kids! Ahh! I can't stop this nosebleed. Now, good kids know that they should not try this at home!

Gotta admire the guy's moxie, though, stabbing himself in the nosehole with a bamboo spear to try and get that sale.



: These fish? This kind is really delicious when they're cooked!

: No, that's not what I meant. I wanted to know the name of the fish.

: The name? Why worry about the name? These fish are delicious. That's all you need to know.

: Yeah, well, sure... I guess you're right. Ha ha ha.

: So, do you want to buy some? I don't have this in stock everyday, you know. In fact I have different fish daily.



Plate mail is clearly the best weapon ever.

: Hmm... "Angel's clarion". What's that?

: This one's cool. Pull the trigger and the gunpowder makes stuff jump out. Better than firecrackers for parties.

: Sounds like fun, but...

: I need something good for adventures.

: Hey, there's "Blackbeard's sword".

: Got your eye on this? It's the best. This's Blackbeard the pirate's sword! A real treasure from the ocean floor!

: I think it looks like a cheap sword that was left in saltwater for a few days.

: Could I see the "Plate mail"?

: How 'bout this one!? It's made of many steel plates. It's thick and sturdy. You must be on horseback to wear it.

: Uh, just riding a horse is hard enough for me.





: Oh! Look, Justin! Don't you think this poncho makes me look kind of exotic?

: Huh? Let me try that one on.

: What ya think, Sue? Does it suit me?

: Ah ha ha! It's just fabulous, eh? It makes you look just like a local citizen. So happy and care-free.

: Me? Care-free?

: Go ahead, tell me I'm always so bright and perky.

: Huh? Excuse me, ma'am. But these pants have a hole in the knee. They're defective, right?

: Oh, my! What's the big deal about one little hole? You must be a tourist. People here would buy them anyway.

: Boy, people are pretty easy-going here. Just like Justin, I suppose.

: Horrible, isn't it, Sue? You just can't stand to see me with a hole in my clothes, can you?

: Justin, what do you think of this hat? It's a new look on you. It looks OK.

: Huh!? No, no, that's OK. This hat over here would suit me much better!

: You always wear the same kind of stuff. How boring.



: Young lady, I'm afraid that pot is not for sale. We use it to hold some of the fruit that we sell.

: Hey, Sue, let's quit. Look, the old man's at a loss.

: But, this pot is just sooo cute! ♥

: What do you think, Puffy? Is it OK that she decides where you will live?

: Puff! Puff!

: Hmm... ...

: What about Puffy? I can't tell what he thinks about this.

: I don't know what to do if we can't use this jar. Hmm... OK, I've got it. Since I am also a native of New Parm I think I should sell you this jar.

: All right! Thank you, sir. ♥

: Wait a minute! I don't agree. If you think about it I'm the one who has to carry it. How can I have an adventure?

: I think Justin is just being stingy!

: Great! I don't have to sell it, then! What a relief! It's too valuable to sell.



: Hmm... good question. How much indeed? You're asking me, but heck if I know.

: Huh? You work at this stand, right? And you don't know the prices of your own goods?

What? Oh, I'm a shopper myself. The vendors've all gone home for a siesta. You shouldn't come at noon.



: saw me, but it turns out he went back to Parm to see me.

: Too bad. You came all the way here, but now he's not around.

: It's several months before the next boat comes. But if that's what it takes to meet him, I'll do it!

: Man, she doesn't give up easily.



I do like how this shot juxtaposes the technology and industry of the Steamer with the open-air market of the more nature-y New Parm. It really does show that the Messina continent is the center of industry, with the recent advancements not having quite crossed the ocean yet.



: You've earned a good rest.

: Yeah, well, it's work, you know. Say, why don't we go eat over there. Or we could go to see the show. Sure, sure. But be careful in this town. There are some very sly and sleazy people here.

: Is it really that dangerous here?

: Wow! This town is a hang-out for outlaws. How exciting!

: Justin isn't the least bit worried, is he?

: Well, there are only a few outlaws. Almost everyone here is very nice.



: One fresh orange juice, coming up! Just a minute. Uumph! Uh... uh... There!

: Whoah! See what he did? He squeezed out an orange in his bare hands!

: Ha ha ha ha. Hello! Young man! How about some fresh-squeezed orange juice?

: So what? It's not like you have to squeeze until your eyes turn red just to squeeze out an orange.



: Ha ha. If you can eat this curry, you're a real adventurer! But! I must warn you: No one who has eaten this curry has ever come back alive.

: If I hear "adventure" I can't help myself. One Adventurer's Curry!

: Hee hee hee. OK, coming up!

: Um... this... uh, this is curry, all right. But the sauce is so red.

: But if I don't eat it, I'm a wimp! (Chomp chomp... munch munch)

: Ah! Th... that's some spicy curry!

: Hee hee hee. It's New Parm's famous super-spicy Adventurer's Curry. Hee hee hee. Is there anyone brave enough to try this curry?



: Wow, who knew a hotel was here? Guess we ought to go see it.

: It's the big building in the plaza near the entrance. Sign says "Adventurers Hut Hotel". Go see it! Stay at the Adventurers Hut Hotel in the plaza near the road entrance. A wonderful view and the best food in town are awaiting you there. ♥



I swear, if he starts ranting about Granas and Valmar then I'm outta here.

: Excuse me, sir. Why are you standing on that barrel?

: Why, Well, because when I stand way up here and preach the holy gospel, it sounds more holy. Well, I guess that's about enough work for today. Time to go home.

: What! You're closing up shop and going home already?

: In New Parm, if you've done enough work, it's time to rest. That's basic. You didn't know that? Well, anyhow, my work is done for today. And that's OK with our god, too.



Just wanted to get in a good shot of the mermaid weathervane up there.



: I only go fishing when the west wind blows and lots of fish come this way. After that, I can take it easy. What great weather, and a nice breeze too. Perfect day to laze around. I've got time, thanks to my last big catch.



: Going on some strange adventure, we'd expect to find things that'd make good souvenirs, right?

: Don't think too much about the adventure. The souvenirs-- they're the important things.

: Hmm. How could I possibly avoid thinking so much about the adventure?

: You kids nowadays have a mighty strange way of thinking.



"I mean, I'm wearing weaker gear than I started the game with, and I'm not healing up at any save points..."

: From now on, no one on this adventure is allowed to be pessimistic.

: Or else you're not a true adventurer.

: Puff! Puufff!

: Listen! Puffy's trying to tell us something.

: Huh? An adventurer? Me?! Hmm... an adventurer.... I like the sound of it. An adventurer! You're right, boy. I'm feeling more and more like one.

And with that, we've wrapped up the port! ... For now. So, to pad this update and shorten the next one, we'll be heading into the city!





: Oh, yeah? I wonder what he's like? I'd like to meet him right away.



: What ever happened to the "New Parm spirit" that I used to know long ago? If only the old adventurers were here.

: Mister, you don't look so old to me.

: What? How rude! I'm only 20 years old!

: Well then, mister. I guess you're still pretty young!



: Darn right I do! I've come all the way here from the New World to become an adventurer!

: Oh, is that right? But this Adventurers Society... what kind of place is this now?



: I guess Feena's real popular here.

: Then again, I suppose any adventurer would be popular in New Parm.

: Feena's number one! Her looks--her cute smile! Her big round eyes. She's gorgeous! ♥ What? How is she as an adventurer? Well, I don't know.

: You don't know? But.... Feena's an amazing adventurer.

: An adventurer--yes! She's on the Adventurers Society's poster. It's a great poster!



: What? You used to be a soldier?

: I uh, I want to be an adventurer!



: Teach me how to learn magic spells.

: What? You wanna know how to learn magic spells? Hmmm. That's too bad. I'm not much good at magic spells. But there's an old man in that store over there who knows a lot about 'em. You should go ask him.

: Tell me how to improve my strength.

: So? You wanna know how to get stronger, huh? Ha ha ha! Well, the most important ingredient is discipline! Discipline yourself! Practice using the same magic spells for the same kinds of attacks, and your skills will improve. That's how you can get stronger! Although you can also replenish your strength by picking up weapons and items, you gain most by improving your skills. It works the same way when studying for school, right?

: Huh? I'm gonna be an adventurer, so I don't need to study for school!

: I want to develop a stronger body.

: What? You wanna learn how to improve your physical strength? Hmm... I see. Of course, one way to gain strength is by earning experience points. I hear that it's good to learn the Water type of magic spells. I'm not much good at magic spells, so I don't know much about them.



: But, over the years, monsters that prowl around outside of town have eaten up most of the sheep. The local militia won't handle anything outside of town. We dunno what to do. Can you help us?

And to wrap up today's update...



In New Parm, even the inn wears a sombrero.