Part 39: New Parm NPC Chatter 5

Welcome back! Let's start with the dinner theater.



: Bunch of brats like you.... that fraud should be adventure enough for you!

: What are you saying!? What kind of adventure is that?!

: Heh? Spirited little brats, huh? This town owes its prosperity to the services of the Adventurers Society.

: What? That tourist nonsense?! Look, I want a REAL adventure!



: What a sham! A real sham! I'll complain to the management! But I feel sorry for the playwright who had to make someone like Pakon the lead character.

Even in his own dinner theater, Pakon can't catch a break.

: Sometimes, a man just has to go. Uh-yup yup. Don't stop me... my Feena!

: Fee... Feena!

: Justin, you're so silly. It's just an act. It's theater!

: Oh, my dear Pakon, please don't leave me here. Without you, my dear, the world has no meaning. Please, please take me along. Oh please, Pakon!

Sounds about right. Onwards!



: Odd, though-- while all the guests were having a grand ol' time, Pakon spent the whole time crying! He'd say "Poor me, I'm dead." "How awwwful, uh-yuuuuup!" Stuff like that. That was the best speech I've ever heard during my entire career in the funeral business!

I suppose as far as funeral speeches go, "Oh nooooooo, I'm dead." gets the point across quite succinctly.



: He sure did holler when he reached out to touch it. Made my ears hurt!

: Hmm... excuse me, but how could he mistake a monster for a sea urchin?

: Oh, it's easy. You see, those hedgehogs are small enough to sit on your palm.

: But mister, how can you get hurt so badly from monsters that are small enough to hold in your hand?

: Now, how did you hear that? OK, I'll tell you a better story. About treasure on a sunken ship. It was right after a real big storm. I heard rumors about that sunken ship. So I went diving to look for it. I found a huge treasure trove just lying there. Suddenly, I was set upon by a monster with thick skin like armor! The monster chomped down on my foot, but I was too quick-- I harpooned it right through the snout. Then I opened up the monster's stomach and big ol' pearls came tumbling out. For a while, I just played with them.

: Wow! I wish that Justin would want to go on that kind of adventure! ♥

: Finding the sunken ship? Oh, yes, I remember that. That was a real scary time. It was great that my son found the sunken ship, but that clam got hold of his foot and I thought he would drown. I remember how happy he was when he got the treasure, though it was a toy. And the clam was pretty tasty, too. The sand in it made it kinda crunchy.

: Mister... hey, mister, how come the treasure was in a toy boat?

: My, what an attentive little girl! The kids next door put fake pearls on a toy boat while playing "Pirates".



This is the only person in the hotel who says something new at this point.

: It's not a turtle. It's called a "turticamel". You'll only find them in New Parm. Can you believe it, kids? I still find it hard to believe that it's not some kind of turtle. It's pretty quick on its feet, it's a mammal, and it can't retract its head. Still, it looks so much like a turtle.

Next up, the port. Most of the NPCs have nothing new to say, but there are a few.



: Heh heh. Tricked you, didn't I? I just look like a customer. I'm really a vendor!

: What? A vendor?

: So, tell me. Why in the world are you pretending to be a customer?

: Heh heh. Why? Good question. It's because of the Sure Success Law. When there are no customers, I'm it.

: I still don't get it. Well, then who helps the customer?

: Heh heh. What a naive lad you are. The customer becomes a vendor again. No loopholes in the Sure Success Law! Hee hee. It's perfect, isn't it? You have to admit, I'm a genius! Ha ha ha ha.



: joke! All they do is take people on silly make-believe adventures. What nonsense! Whew! What a hassle! I don't need those guys. I can start an adventure without their help. But they say I can't be called an adventurer until I've joined the Adventurers Society. Still, I don't want anything to do with that place! I have no choice but to go adventuring on my own. But I might need their information. Some treasure maps, I'd need those. Oh, all right. I'd better go join.

: I can't stand it any more! Come on, be a man and make up your mind!



: A play, huh? Well, I guess so, but I think the Adventurers Society is the most interesting thing in town.

: We've heard that their president is someone like Pakon.

: Puff! Puff!

: Hey, cheer up, you guys. If you're feeling down, go to the dinner theater and see the play.





There are too many jokes I could make in response to that line.



: Oh... ... Hmmph! If it's not dangerous, don't even call it an adventure.

: That's right. Justin, why don't you just ignore the Adventurers Society?

: Ha ha ha. Ignore the society? What an idea! I suppose you could. But I think it's great to have a society that helps people have safe adventures.



It suddenly occurs to me that I'm probably examining this game more thoroughly than the proofreaders could.

: wedding goes well, I think my naps will go well, too. A happy occasion, indeed.

: Hmph! There's nothing happy about it!

: Well, anyway, I get to take a nap at work every day. I'm happy for that!

Okay. Speaking of Pakon's wedding, a whole lot of people get new dialog once he kidnaps Feena, so let's skip ahead to that.



: So, mister, why are you celebrating?

: Oh, I uh... well... when it's time to celebrate, I do it all the way! It's the New Parm Spirit! Anyway, I'm not some old "mister"! I'm only 30 years old! I can't believe how rude you kids are these days.



: bridegroom and a world-class bride! One could search this great land and never find so perfect a match!

: What nonsense! He kidnapped Feena and is forcing her to marry him!

: Hey, if you want something bad enough, sometimes you have to just take it. A REAL man, like the president should.



Honestly, this whole conversation's just full of unfortunate implications. At least Sue's trying to motivate Justin?



Trying to be some sort of Monster Rancher? It'll never catch on.

: A mo... monster ranch? Some huge ranch for real monsters?

: No, no, not that. Just a ranch exhibit. People would come to see a real monster or two. Right now the sheep at the ranch are being eaten by monsters. Soon there won't be any sheep left. So I'm thinking of making a monster ranch! Yeah, but I think people would be too afraid to visit. That's a problem.



: Oh no! AAAhhh, what will I do now? How can I go on living? (sob)

: You shouldn't take it so hard.



: With news like this, I've got to see a show at the theater and forget my sorrows!



: So I guess the next challenge is to get used to eating New Parm's famous hot'n'spicy food. It's hard, though. I really can't eat it. It's so hot! I thought I'd try eating the Adventurer's Curry. They say you ain't had spicy 'til you've had this. One bite: my whole face was sweating. Two bits: I couldn't speak any more. Three bites: my face turned white! That was the first time EVER that I'd eaten anything so darn spicy! I feel weird just thinking about it.



: Look, I'm sorry, mister, but I don't have time for this right now. I've got to go rescue Feena!

: Oh, is that right? Well, you gotta go, then. We can talk again later.

If you talk to him again...

: If you gotta go, you gotta go. We can talk again later.



: Judging from what I've seen, though, you'd think they'd be in a bad mood. All they eat is spicy food and I've heard spicy food makes people short-tempered, but they're all so perky! It's weird! How can they eat such spicy food and not get short-tempered? Hmm... seems like I'm the testy one!



Something tells me this won't be the last time.

: I was bringing a guest's food to his table and I accidentally spilled some soup right onto his head. I tried to wipe it all up, but it was all over his hair, and it was dripping down....

: Hoo wee!

: I try as hard as I can, so why do I end up standing here so much?

And that'll be it for this update. Nothing new in the weapon shop, and even the dinner conversation hasn't changed.

Of course, we've still got the main part of town and the port, and at least two more dialog-changing events to go.