Part 30: Revolt

So, I guess previously on this program Neptune was trapped in a disc and almost died. Not that I was worried I’d never see her again or anything.
That narrator guy cannot get back fast enough.



Nep, your noises are distracting. What’s wrong? Is it your stomach?
When Nep-Nep makes that noise, she’s deep in thought. Why don’t we try to guess what it is?
Ooh, nice. Let’s see you guess!
I bet you were thinking about what to eat for dinner.
Wrong! You think I only wanna eat or something?
I know. You were wondering how to become cuter to attract more boys.
Hmm, not like I never think about that, but you’re wrong.
Then, are you thinking about how to become a monster hunting hero?!
Ooh, warmer. But, y’know, I think about that all the time!
You’re pretty complicated. Hmm…
Compa, you’re starting to make those noises too. So, what is it, Nep? Don’t smirk and say ‘nothing!’
Well, y’know those prophecies about a main character having the blood of a legendary hero running through their veins?
Like those games, right? What about it?
I should have that blood in me too, right? B-But, why’m I stil all junk at fighting monsters?
…Huh?
Nep-Nep. Are you ill?
Nope, I’m for serious! Hmmmmmmm…!
…I hope you think about this so hard you forget to breathe.

We could only be so lucky.



No offense, Blanc, but the sort of books you buy don’t really have a wide market.

Video- “Basilicom Raid”

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It’s fun here. From kids to senior citizens, our main demographics, we all enjoy our lives. We’re born to play.
Families go out together or stay in and play virtual party games like bowling, or… bowling… and bowling, on weekends.
There are fewer cases of dementia on Lowee because people undergo a lot of brian training with games.
Elders buy consoles for grandkids as gifts. How heartwarming, huh? I hope they still enjoy it after a few weeks.
There are stories of people buying counterfeit products and upsetting their grandkids. Sucks.
We’ll expose these illegal bootleggers soon. Be warned and be prepared.
…That’s all.

Oh, none taken. Oh, yeah, no offense but you’re a crazy bitch.



Financier: I’m sorry to bother you, but I need you to come with me. Please, hurry.
Wh-What’s the matter? Please, take a deep breath first. Follow along with me. In… and out… In… and out…
There’s no need for that, Compa. Where are you taking us?
Financier: To Lady White Heart. I need you three to talk to her and calm her down.
I can see there’s a really tight bond between Lady White Heart and Neptune.
I have a feeling Neptune will be able to get through to her better than anyone else.
I don’t mind or whatever, but what’m I supposed to talk about? Like, getting a cavity and going to a dentist?
Financier: One of the Guild members found out the Extremists are planning to raid Entremets, but I can’t…
She might learn you’re a Guild member if you told her about it.
Financier: I’ll show you to the underground tunnel. Please, hurry to the Basilicom. The Extremists are already preparing!

Like you’re one to talk.



Tch?! You can’t even knock on the damn door? Where are your manners, you bitch?! That form…
…We’ve met. I didn’t think you were Lowee’s CPU. Who would have thought I’d be the one surprised?
That’s not the point now, though. Come with us. We need to get away from here.
Financier: The Extremists are on their way here to attack as we speak. Please, Lady White Heart!
…I’m fine. I won’t run. This place will remain safe as long as I’m here. No matter how few followers I have.
…They’re human. I don’t think your protection will work against those you’re meant to protect.
Financier: That’s right. Please don’t be difficult. The witch who claimed to be the Overlord’s messenger is among them, too!
…The messenger? Is that so…
…You afraid of some fanatic? Stop wasting everyone’s time.
The Sanctified: The monsters! They’re appearing inside the building!
The messenger’s been giving out strange discs to heretics that summon monsters at will. That must be it.
Then, they’re already in the Basilicom! They’ll tear this place apart from the inside!
…We have to leave. The underground tunnels are connected to various areas. It’ll be simple to hide.
Financier: Everyone! Lady White Heart! Please, follow me.
…I’ll stop the monsters. I know very well how to fight.
Stop with your stubborn tantrums! This is an emergency. We’re going to have to take her, no matter what.
Okay. I’ll take her back. Compa, Iffy, get her arms. Financier, you grab her feet.
Hey! Dammit, not again! You bitches! Hey, you… stoppit! Stoppit now! Agh!

Plus, can you really talk when you got dragged kicking and screaming from your own Basilicom?



We have to stay here and stop the Extremists. They’ll find out the goddess isn’t here in no time.
I don’t hear anything. I can hear some monster cries, though.
The messenger’s probably sent monsters instead of humans. I guess it makes things simpler for us.
Fighting each one will take forever. We need to cut off the source!

Oh, you’ve done it now. It’s on.



…Entremets is probably taken over by now. They know I’m hiding here, too.
They’ll probably be here soon. I really don’t want to fight the Guild…
…Why are they doing this now?
That’s because the Overlord’s messenger is on their side. If we take her down, their confidence should dissipate.
How’re we gonna find her? Do you… wanna use me? My body? She stalks me… so she must want it, right?
No, that’s way too risky! We can use the underground tunnel and… but we’d have to fight the Guild that way…
It’d be best if we could lure out the messenger. Maybe we should write a threatening letter?

It’s… wait, did they seriously do that? They weren’t just messing with me?

Video- “The Messenger’s End”

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Neptune! How dare you mistake the Overlord’s name for Moron?! How could you possibly get that wrong?!
Huh? I thought I wrote ‘Momus!’ You saw it, right Iffy?
You were probably thinking about yourself while writing the letter. I’m glad your idiocy smoked her out, though.
Yes, it’s all according to plan! Now then, Ms. Messenger, get ready to settle this!
You still want to fight? Lowee’s CPU has run away and Entremets has already fallen!
But, I’ll never turn down an opportunity to be rid of you. Here I come, Neptune!

Hah, Overlord Moron? That’s a stupid name for an Overlord.



Boss Battle: ???
Hey, it’s her again. She can hit pretty hard but as long as you end guarding it’s easy. You need to have beaten harder bosses to get here.

That’s… nope, never mind.



That’s the goddess’ job. I’m sure the Guild members will apologize when they know the messenger was beaten.

Anyway I did kind of owe them after all that, sad to say.

Video- “CPU White Heart”

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I don’t know if I’m just used to seeing you, or if it’s your appearance… You never seem to look like a goddess.
…Well, that not-goddess wants to thank you for your efforts. So, here you are.
Iffy, don’t be rude to Ms. Goddess. We’re sorry. What happened afterwards?
The Extremists… scattered and ran. It’ll take some time to fix the Basilicom, but everything’s fine.
I’m so glad! Your Basilicom will be up and running in no time. All is well!
Sure. Whatever. I’ve got time to straighten things up.
…I got to learn a lot about my land through this incident. I don’t want to say it, but… thanks.
Oh, please! It’s nothing to thank us for. We just did what we wanted to.
So you’re just thanking us for saving your life? That’s all? It’s okay to offer us money or items or information, y’know.
…Right. I actually learned something about the Key Fragment.
…Our Basilicom’s network is rather wide. The Evangelist who manages information is gone, so I brought it here.
Or, if you prefer something physical, I can give you money, or a picture with me. I won’t smile, though.
Ohhh! I’m sorry for being all greedy-weedy and stuff! We don’t want money or a picture. Please give us the info…
…How admirable. Fine.

I was really surprised those Key Fragment things actually existed, I figured Neptune was just messing with us.



Why don’t we make like, a scrap book of all these baddies?!
What a lovely idea! I didn’t expect to hear you say something about arts and crafts! You do have a brain!
Y-You should’ve stopped before that last sentence!

Yeah, not going to complain about her killing monsters either.

Video- “Lowee Key Fragment”

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Boss Battle: Guard Vermin
This is actually a pretty fun boss video, because he gets immobilized by Paralysis twice and never really gets to do much of anything. Otherwise he’s a lot like Lastation’s Guard Vermin.

Look, I know neither of us is happy about this but we might have to put up with it for a while, so truce?



…Oh, I totally forgot about that! I’m sure they haven’t. Monsters are still all over Planeptune.
But, uh, how would they get a hold of you if your phone only works on Planeptune?
Oh shucks, you’re right! I’ve got no bars! I wouldn’t know if they try to call me, huh?!
Wh-What do I do now? Am I… Am I gonna get held back? Expelled…? Oh no… Wahhhh…
There, there. You said yourself monsters are still present. That’s why the school was closed down, right?
What about your phones, Iffy? Don’t any of those work anywhere? Can you let Compa use one?
Oh, hell no. These are Guild property. They won’t connect to anything but other Guild phones.
Oh, but I know someone in Planeptune. Let me text and ask.
…Nice, quick response. It says none of the schools have opened up. See?
But if you wanna go back to the school, I’m not against it. I wouldn’t want your nurse skills to get rusty.
I’m okay! My grades will never get lower than they are now. No worries!
…That’s nice.

Fine, let’s focus on Neptune and how dumb she is. Something we can agree on. Oh, yeah, so Next Time on Hyperdimension Neptunia: Poison! Only one key fragment remains, and it’s in the shittiest land of all!
Harsh but fair.