Part 32: Poison

Previously on Neptunia Blanc totally got humiliated and had to be saved by Neptune. Now on Hyperdimension Neptunia…
Hey, I saw that Avenir stuff, bitch. You don’t get to talk.

Video- “Poison”

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Anyway, they headed to Leanbox, which is a terrible place.



Iffy is out getting us food. Let’s just be patient and wait for her. Do you want to call her and ask where she is?
You’ve got a cell phone? Iffy looks like she has a lot… So, I’m the only party member without one?!
Mh-hmm. Cell phones are seen as advanced outside of Planeptune. Aw, poo… I don’t get service on Leanbox unless I pay a fee?
Maybe Iffy’s is special? I’ve seen her get calls before, so what if it’s an adult walky-talky instead?
I don’t think that’s very likely.

Wait, what’s this about poison now?



The Archbishop said a drop of this could take down a giant enemy crab… Urgh! I can’t do it!
It’s not right for me, a mere human, to see a goddess to begin with. I just hope I’ll be forgiven.

Oh yeah, so Leanbox’s Archbishop wants to poison Neptune.



Mmm, welhum bach!
The innkeeper brought us some food. You ordered it for us, didn’t you? Hehe, she started before you got back.
Wait! Don’t eat that! I know it’s too late, but… put those utensils down!
Nep-Nep, getting the ‘it is’ already? You’ll become a pig, you know. They say obesity is the source of all ills.
That’s not the issue here! Is this what Nep ate? You didn’t eat it, did you, Compa?
Nope. They said it was made just for our cute little Nep-Nep. Um… wh-what’s wrong with Nep-Nep?
…I don’t know. Can you look her over? I think she may have been poisoned!
Poisoned?! Why would anybody…? We must get her an antidote, no, a panacea! I can’t do anything here…
Yvoire: Don’t move! Miss IF, please step away from those tainted girls. Arrest those two criminals!
No… You’re behind this? What’s happening?! I thought you ordered me to do this!
Yvoire: What are you accusing me of? Was it not you who sneaked the poison into the food after talking with Lady Green Heart?
Thank you. Though you are a dirty Guild member, your loyalty to Leanbox’s CPU is much appreciated.
What?! No! What are YOU accusing ME of?! Let them go! Compa! Nep!
Yvoire: …Fool. You’re no different than the other heretical, immoral scum. Take her as well!

Wow, that guy’s a real dirtbag.

Video- “The Aristocrats”

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Yeah I’m getting kinda tired of all these humans butting into the Console War lately.



About three days. Geez, never expected to be so grateful for my cell’s LCD screen. We’ll go insane in this darkness.
We’re not the only ones suffering. Nep-Nep’s body temperature is going down. She won’t make it much longer…
Jade: You girls still alive? …Hey.
Wh-Who’s there? Help us! We’re here!
Jade: Hold on. I’m going to help you get out right now.

Hey, someone let them out of jail. Not, not that I’m happy they didn’t just rot there.



Why did you help us?
Jade: Can I introduce myself first? I’m Jade, one of the Aristocrats.
…Why did you help us?
Jade: Geez, the suspicion doesn’t end, huh? I get it. Don’t worry. Just… don’t stare at me with those cute, angry faces.
I helped because I felt bad for you. The teachings of the Aristocrats have always encouraged helping the helpless.
You still seem unconvinced. I don’t intend to hide anything.
Someone tried to poison us. Nep-Nep is sick as a puppy, and we were in a dark prison. I don’t know what to think!
This is starting to get to me, to. Leanbox has a dark underbelly. Just tell us why you helped, really.
Jade: …There’s no other reason. If anything, because this can be traced back to the Basilicom.
The Basilicom and Aristocrats don’t get along. They honor their beliefs while we honor pride.
We’re in the middle of plotting a coup-d’etat against them. Specifically, the Sanctuary.
I ran into you three while scouting the Sanctuary’s lower levels. I’d like you to meet our leader before I speak any more.

Neptune was still out, though.



Jade: About that poison… It’s ancient. I had to look through records a century old to identify it.
Who knows where that Archbishop found it. It was a lot of work to find an antidote recipe for it.
At least it wasn’t Planeptune’s bio-weapon. If we can get the ingredients, I’ll synthesize the antidote!
…No alchemy, please. We just get the ingredients, let Compa prepare the antidote, and everything will be rosy.
Jade: It’s not that simple. Shops won’t carry what’s necessary to combat such an ancient poison. We must gather the ingredients.
I see no alternative. Compa, can you stay here and keep an eye on Nep?
No! Do you even know what you’re looking for? You should keep an eye on Nep-Nep.
I’ll be fine! I have my methods. I’ll call if I have any questions.
Jade: …Why don’t you go together? I’ll watch over Neptune.
I’ve informed Sir Turquoise to reschedule the meeting already. Will you trust me?
…Fine. We’ll be back as soon as possible. Please take care of Nep-Nep until then.

Are we actually supposed to sit here while they pick flowers?



LWE Feinne on Neptunia Mechanics:
This is an interesting mission, we have to get all the chests from this map (including the hidden one). We don’t have Neptune, but all the enemies here are super easy so it’s not a problem. The dungeon ends as soon as we get the last one.

I think we’re lucking out on that.



Yes! Let’s return to Nep-Nep.

At least there’s that.



Today, I’d love to discuss the small islands surrounding Leanbox.
There are some old ruins, a castle, a very old tower built with bricks, and a mining area.
People once lived in the castle, but now it’s occupied by monsters. Try to stay away from there during your visit!
Specialists go to the ruins and old tower to perform research every day.
I wish I could help, but I’d get too hot. Plus, I was in Celestia when those were initially built.
Lastly, not just the castle, but…
All of the islands I introduced today are teeming with monsters.
Have you heard ‘curiosity killed the cat?’ Please don’t go to those areas. There is nothing fun there.
That’s it for the islands surrounding Leanbox.
See you in the next update.

Also what the hell is this next part all about?

Video- “Revival”

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You lied to my face. You were contacting the CPUs while I was gone. Admit it!
…
How many? How many of the CPUs know about the Key Fragments?
…
How many exist?! How much do they know? About the Evangelist? The monsters? The Overlord? Answer me!
…
Fine. You’ve no intention to speak, so I must silence that useless mouth…!

I guess it’s whoever she’s been rambling about saving? Did she mention something like that to you?



Hrmm…? Nep-Nep, you’re slurring… hmmm… mmm…?
Compa? Oh, yeah… I got all barfy, huh? Were you at my side this whole time?! You’re such a sweetie! I’m way touched!
Ack! P-Please get off me! Nep-Nep… Nep-Nepuuu… he… hehehe! Nep-Nep is awake!
Yes, I heard you, what with the shouting and giggling. Morning, Nep. You’ve slept for quite a while.
Huh? No, I got all woozy and sick to my tummy! I just had a weird dream to top it off…
I’m joking. You wouldn’t know what we had to go through while you slept, huh?
Are you hungry, Nep-Nep? I’m sure you feel weak from sleeping for so long. You should have a great big meal!
Hmm, yes, I agree. I think the best thing to do is eat for the next day or two.

Yeah, I think so. Also this dude who leads the Aristocrats is a real creeper.



Who’s this old fart? Can you keep it down? Where are we, anyway?
Jade: This is my house. That is my adoptive father and leader of the Aristocrats, Sir Turquoise.
I brought you here from the Basilicom’s basement holding cell. I’m Jade. Nice to meet you.
Jade, why did you help us? Nep is up now, so hurry and explain yourself.
Turquoise: Allow me! I want you girls to be our sexy mascot allies.
…What’s all this hubbub? What sort of ally is that?
Nep-Nep doesn’t know what’s going on, since she’s been sleeping this whole time. Could you please explain?

Seriously, I’d have kicked the shit out of him.



Turquoise: At the time, the Parliament tried to gain total control by gathering heretics in an attempt to raid the Basilicoms.
We, the Aristocrats, defeated them under the aegis of the Sanctuary. The heretics escaped, but the goddess gave us honor!
Jade: However, the Sanctuary… The current Archbishop doesn’t want to admit there was any kind of revolution at all.
He burnt all the records and prohibited publicizing any information on it. He even tried to revoke our leader’s honor!
So that’s why you wanna make us sexy mascot allies? To fight the Basilicom?
We can’t do that. I thank you for helping us, but we can’t possibly fight the Basilicom!
Jade: I understand where Sir Turquoise is coming from, but I can’t let them get involved, either.
Turquoise: Those able to fight monsters are a rare find. You girls are brave, beautiful, and we’ve both been hurt by the Basilicom!
While that’s true, and I don’t intend to forgive them for it… we can’t fight humans, no matter how evil they are.
But we’ve beaten people up before, right?
That’s because they attacked first! We had no choice.
Jade: I’ve already told them I didn’t save them in exchange for anything. Just let it go this time. Please.
Turquoise: How about this?! Why not help us in a different, less sexy mascot way?
Your job would be limited to fighting monsters. What say you?
So you want to be our client. If it’s a job fighting monsters, then I guess we have no reason to turn you down.
In that case, just keep us out of any conflicts involving the Basilicom.
Turquoise: …I give my word. Your jobs will be mere support. There will be no direct involvement whatsoever!

Next Time on Hyperdimension Neptunia: Conspiracy! Will this shit finally get interesting at all?
Probably not, I mean it’s about Neptune.