Part 45: Noire

Yeah so last time Neptune cheated a bunch and tricked me into joining her stupid party, but this time is going to be great because it’s all about me.

Video- “Noire Scenes”

Watch

Transformation, ho!
…Nah.
…
Ah. Wind and light, earth and night! Roar! Ninja Special Goddess Transformation!
…That doesn’t work.
…
Lastation Prism Power! Busty in Black!
…That’s not regal enough for me.
…
Black Heart, comin’ through!
…What am I aiming for with that?
…
Black Heart, target locked on!
…Too much.
…
…Meh. I can’t think of anything that would do me justice.

Oh my god, you practice your call-outs too? We should do it together some time!



…There. Back to the topic.
In the name of the Basilicom, I will punish you!
…Wrong.
Servants of Niflheim, return from whence you came!
…D-Different mythology, huh?
Allow me to explain. By transforming, the CPU Black Heart from the Land of Black Regality…
…I don’t want to explain it like that.
…
Shut up, shut up, shut up! Can’t you see his holy crest?!
Who do you think I… No… That’s not right either.
Oh, how about this?
You fool! Have you forgotten my face?!
…I suppose they wouldn’t know it if I’ve transformed.
Through fire, justice is served!
…I think that’s used, but I’m on the right track.
For the sake of humanity, Black Heart will strike down the ambitions of the evil goddess!
If you’re not afraid of this glimmering darkness, bring it on!
Yeah! I think I’m getting better at this.

Did… did you think through what you just said? Like at all?



Manufacturing on it was ceased a while back, but I found the factory on Lastation…
I used my power as CPU to reopen the factory and start manufacturing again. Hope it won’t cause any issues.
Anyway, it’s so red and pretty. I like the shape of its head, too.
My pick is in a teardrop shape. It’s made from cellulose.
This alone cost me 100 Credits. I should make more original picks and sell them.
…Let’s get practicing.
Hmph. As expected, I’m a natural. I’ve mastered the first and second guitar solos in the anime opening and ending themes.
Now I’m ready to start my own Lastation Coffee Time band!
…B-But it’s not like I need to make any friends to form a band with!

Aww, I’ll be your friend. I can play the triangle or something in your band!



What?
I saw someone resembling you at the Planeptune convention the other day. Were you there?
Wha-?! N-No, it must’ve been someone else.
I’m sure girls dress up like me and carry electric guitars all the time on Planeptune.
…I never said anything about a guitar.
Drat…
I knew it. A heroine’s eyes shine with the clarity of truth.
…You better not mention this to anyone.
Especially that little brat, Neptune! I don’t want her to ever know about this.
Why’re you making such a fuss? But, a heroine cannot decline a request from Lady Black Heart herself.
You sure? Well, it’s expected.
Neptune would mock me for weeks if she found out… Yuck.
I see where you’re coming from. Sort of.
But then, you were there too if you saw me, right?
I was working as security. I help out like that every year.
Oh… I thought I’d have made a comrade to go with… B-But it’s not like I’m asking you to be my friend…
…I wonder… does Lady Black Heart not have any friends?

Ugh! W-Who’d want that?!



Yes. What of it?
I’ve been trying to think of a transformation call-out. You will help me.
You’ve got it all wrong, my Lady!
What? What’ve I possibly got wrong?
A call-out is a cry from your heart.
Depending on the situation, just call out whatever our heart is screaming. It’s the only way to reach the hearts of others!
…You’re absolutely right.
I’ve been mistaken. Thank you. I’ll try to listen to my heart in my next battle.
…Whew. I couldn’t possibly admit I just wing that sort of thing.
I’m glad she believed me.

Also, your friends are weird.



Hello, Lady Black Heart. What you need?
You’re supposed to be good at synthesizing medicine, right?
Yes. You sick, Lady Black Heart?
I’m in top form, but I want you to give me something soothing for my throat.
Sure. Easy.
Thank you. This will help me pass my next voice actress audition.
About fee…
…So you charge your allies, too.

That little girl almost killed me!



What now, Lady Black Heart?
I passed the voice actress audition I mentioned the other day, as expected.
But I didn’t get the script until yesterday, and recording begins tomorrow…
I’ve practiced all night, but I’m starting to grow sleepy.
I assumed you have the ability to make me something strong. Was I wrong?
For Lady Black Hear, I see what I can do.
Good. I’m looking forward to your result.
I must prepare too, so you come back in thirty minutes?
Sure. Later.
…I find great guinea pig.
I see what happens if I mix all energy drinks from pharmacy…
Last, add this five-figure drink…
Color and smell reek of toxin, but Lady Black Heart will be fine. She is a goddess.
So, are you done yet?
Just in time. Try now.
…What putrid road kill did you put inthis? The color is pitch black… and the smell…
Relax. All good things from energy drinks.
…A-All right, if you insist. I’ll just chug it!
Not all at once…!
Mix of all energy drinks bad for even goddesses…
Kids, do not try at home!

That musician chick is okay, though.



How did I train my vocals again…? Oh, I think I started with tongue twisters.
…
Blacky, Whity, Purply, Greeny Goddesses!
Blacky, Whiney, Purdly, G-Gurply…!
…Ugh.
I dunno the first thing about being a voice actress…
I don’t have any idea what I’m doing…

It’s weird because for some reason none of us but Iffy can ever be shown on camera with her. Not sure why, last time I talked to the narrator he mumbled something about contracts.



She’s good. I wonder if she’s performed at a live show?
I… I wonder if sh-she’d let me be her vocalist…?
I’d make our own costumes, too…!
Lady Black Heart… I wonder what she looks really good in?
A mini-skirt with a shiny silver, sleeveless school uniform shirt… A green tie… with matching dyed hair…
We could both wear matching headphones…
…N-No way! She’s a goddess! I’m getting way ahead of myself…
But… I wonder if she’ll at least let me get her measurements…
…No, no, no! There’s no way!

Oh, so that’s the reason? I was wondering why we’re just seeing these monologues about those awesome, funny scenes we shot.



She doesn’t seem thrilled to share her interests with others, so maybe I should keep quiet, too.
It’s like a secret just between Lady Black Heart and me…

Yeppers, we’re not allowed to use any of that footage.



All the goddesses have a gun. I want one, too!
There are monsters everywhere. …I’m sure nobody would mind if I got one.
If I’m gonna get a gun, I want something real stylish and manly, like a dual revolver!
I’ll destroy everything and get overkills!
Yaaaaaay!

Next Time on Hyperdimension Neptunia: CPU Green Heart! At least it’s not me getting beat up next time.