Part 49: Blanc

So previously, I let Neptune win because it’s boring as shit to sit around doing work all day and it gave me an excuse to go with her.
I knew it!
I can’t even tell if she’s serious or not. Anyway Blanc I have a question.

Video- “Blanc Scenes”

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New books from IF Publisher are coming out… I was too busy to remember.
…It’s snowing. As usual. I don’t wanna go outside.
…I could ask Financier to go buy them for me.
…But she’s already out getting groceries. She’s… so useless.
I’ll just make a list of what’s new, then make her go buy them first thing tomorrow morning.
Financier… She’s definitely getting a pay cut for this.

Where’s that narrator guy gone to? I mean he was still with you when I left, so you were the last one to see him right?



…The Amateur Writer Prize winners of this label are getting worse every damn year.
How could these talentless hacks win?
…Mine are all way better.
Ah…?! Why haven’t I thought about applying for the contest before?
Now’s my chance to show these idiots what real writing is.
I’ve decided. I better buy a new PC before I get too amped up.
No need for a supercomputer with Blast Processing or whatever. Just something for writing and easy to carry around…
…It’s the laptop computer age.
I thought I saw an ad for a free laptop with an internet contract purchase.
…I don’t have time to waste with the goddess crap. I better sign up before the offer expires.
And, there. ‘Gonna go buy a laptop. Bye.’
…I’ll get there in no time.
I’m out.

Oh, that guy. Yeah, I wanted his opinion on how I could promote my books better so he offered to read them over. I’d just dropped them off when Neptune showed up.



Financier: No, not yet, Lady White Heart.
I’m done when I say I am. Aren’t you tired? Go home and die.
Financier: …Yes, my Lady. Then tomorrow, we’ll need to take care of all the piled up work.
Hopefully you can handle it on your own.
Financier: You’ll be working too, you know!
…Don’t get so riled up. It was a joke.
I know. I’ll do it tomorrow. Happy?
Financier: I’m glad. Excuse me.
Good job today.
…Alone at last. Time to write.
…
…Nope. I can’t think of crap.
…What’s this frustrating feeling welling up inside me? How unpleasant.
Let’s… surf the net. I might get some interesting ideas.
…It’s been two hours? Damn. The internet’s a scary invention.

You did… Oh, no.



…Huh?
I saw someone who looked just like you at the Planeptune convention the other day. Were you selling books?
How’d you…?
I knew it. I was there too, y’see.
…Nice. Were you there alone or with a group?
I was just security. I wanted to look around, but I didn’t really get the time.
…Then take this.
A book?
…It’s my masterpiece short story.
Whoa, amazing. Can I read it now?
…It’s embarrassing, but whatever.
Okay, thanks.
…
…And?

Wait, you write? I kind of want to see that.



…
…
…The fact you understand my intent makes you better than others.
…Y-Yeah?
You’ve got good eyes. I’ll give you my old works, too.
Great! I-I’m so pumped. Yay.
Hold on. I’ll go grab them.
…I’ve never read something so poorly written before. Is this really the syntax they use in Celestia? It’s appalling.
…It can’t be.

No you don’t.



Bandit: I don’t wanna die! Eeeeek!
No need to squeal in terror! Nisa is here!
Bandit Leader: Help! Sh-She’s coming for us. The White Demon!
…White Demon?
…Found you, you little shits.
…What?! Lady White Heart?!
I mean, she’s white, so…
…Move, Nisa. I don’t wanna involve you.
How could you? They’re your civilians!
…They’re bandits. And they mocked my chest.
So, I’mma kill ‘em dead!
Bandits are criminals, and making fun of a girl’s chest is unforgivable…
But that’s no excuse to attack people in your HDD state!
Bandit Leader: Yeah! You tell her, pimple-nipples!
Bandit: No matter how jacked her weaponry, your justice will triumph! We believe in you, flatty!
…
…Lady White Heart, I’ll be your wingman.
Let’s go, Nisa! Burn ‘em to ashes!
Kill all those who deny the allure of modest-breasted girls!

Tch, I should have known that was really you and not just a costume. Even cosplayers don’t dress that slutty.



Why say such things, Lady White Heart?
I’ve never met anyone this good at synthesis. Come to Lowee and make yourself useful.
I appreciate invite, but I need to think…
I still want to see new things around world.
Travel places, find rare ingredients…
Learn different techniques from everywhere.
Therefore, please wait until I master craft.
…
…Fine. If that’s your will, then I can’t force you or anything.
I doubt you’ll change your mind soon, but let me know if you do.
I’ll… no, all of Lowee will welcome you anytime.
Yes, thanks, Lady White Heart.

What?! Wh-Why I am the very picture of modesty, thank you very much!



…Huh? Say it.
It can be anything. I want thing belonging to you.
…Fine. It’s cheap, but how’s this scarf?
Can you put autograph?
Okay… What’re you planning to do with it?
Experiment. I can’t tell you until result is back.
…Fine. There.
Thank you. Excuse me.
…What kind of experiment is this?

I don’t know, that skirt is pretty short.



…What’s wrong? Why’re you so excited?
I listed autograph scarf on internet auction.
Your scarf sell at highest price of all goddesses!
It four times as much as Lady Green Heart’s autograph ribbon.
Twice the price of Lady Black Heart’s autograph socks!
We sell your stuff if we run out of travel money!
…
…What the hell’m I supposed to say to that?

Like any of you can talk! I mean you’ve got those hanging out all the time and Neptune’s is shorter than mine!



What do you see, Nep-Nep?
It’s coming this way! Whooooa!
Wh-What in blazes was that?!
…Um, a car. I know they don’t exist on Lastation, but who wouldn’t know about them these days?
Wh-Whatever. I know what a car is! It’s the steam-powered horseless thing, right?
…Wrong era. Anyway, there are so many of them… Is it a race?
Cameraman: Yes, correct! This is a crazy cart race!
It’s the destined battle! A live-or-die battle! It is nothing but the ultimate race!
What’s this passion? Who’re you, anyway?!
Cameraman: I’m the editor-slash-cameraman reporting on this intense cart race!
Who’s racing?
Cameraman:[ It’s an annual race sponsored by Shroom Kingdom!
The race between Woopa Twoopa, led by Wowser, their king, and others aiming to take him down!

Hey, don’t bring me into this!



Cameraman: You know them, too?
Yeah. We were almost roasted by his breath.
Cameraman: What?! Such an interesting scoop! Can you tell me more? Where was this? When? Why?!
Huh? Ugh, man! You’re an annoying wiener!
Anyway, Mr. Cameraman, don’t you need to pay attention to the race? They’ve almost vanished.
Cameraman: Crap. Here’s my card. Call me tomorrow. Bye.
…Such a busybody. What just happened?
Hmm, he’s a creepy paparazzi!

And I mean it’s not like you’ve got anything to cover up anyway Blanc so it’s not like it’s a challenge for you.



Oh no, it’s an elderly woman! What happened here?
Kid: She was attacked by a red hexaroc.
Red hexaroc? Where are they now?! We’ll take care of those evil things…!
Kid: No. It’s okay. I got them.
You defeated them? Alone? You must be tough.
…Did you forget? On my land, monsters are nothing compared to the people here.
Anyway, we should care for that woman. Can you stand, ma’am?
Old Lady: …Thank you. You saved me.
Kid: How could they do this to you?
Old Lady: I am the nursemaid to this kingdom’s princess. I am Bimpa. They came to steal the kingdom’s Triangleforce.
They have one piece, but the princess hid the other fragments all across the land.
And what happened to the princess?
Old Lady: She’s in captivity. They must have attacked me since the princess would not tell them where the pieces are.

You did not just go there.



You sure you can do this alone? N-Not like I want to get involved in someone’s crisis on someone else’s land…!
Hold on. This boy might be… a true hero chosen by fate!
Kid: Your kind thoughts are enough. Thank you. Shall we get going, ma’am?
Old Lady: Th-Thank you…
They’re gone. I’m pretty impressed by that boy.
Traveler: He… is a true hero.
Whoa! Wh-Where did you come from?!
Traveler: Sorry. It’s just… It’s been a while since I’ve seen such a hero.
True. I don’t meet heroes as often as I used to back in the day. I miss that a little.
I know the trend is old-fashioned, but as a goddess, it’s kind of deplorable…
Traveler: A goddess? A-Are you a real goddess?
Yeah. I’m a real goddess. I’m allowed to disclose that, right?
Uh, sure, if it’s just one person.

This won’t do at all! How can you defeat Arfoire if you can’t stop fighting amongst yourselves?



I’ve been traveling around Gamindustri for a lot longer than them, so you can depend on me for sure!
…You kidding? I worked so hard as a goddess while Neptune just wandered around like a lost puppy.
…Who’d depend on a goddess with zero experience as a goddess?
Huh?! Grrr… I can’t counter that! But, but-!
…My intellect is unmatched.
Excuse me? I don’t know if I can let such a comment slide.
I heard from a friend that Lowee’s goddess never meets with outsiders.
…Tch!
Doing paperwork in the Basilicom all day, every day… I don’t think that’s all a goddess has to do.
You just recently started associating with people outside your Basilicom, too.
Th-That’s not true. I talk to many, many people from all over the world. Sometimes, for hours each day.
Yeah, through the anonymity of the internet.
We’re in front of someone, you know! We really shouldn’t argue like this.
I apologize, Mr. Mysterious Man.
[b[Traveler:[/b] Please don’t mind me. I have seen plenty during my travels, but this is my first experience with the goddesses.
Yes. Remember, ‘the truth is out there!’
Traveler: …What?

What? We’re not fighting.



She’s also stern and mature. I think her fluffy hat suits her perfectly.
Whenever she’s focused on a book, she looks like an innocent child…
I wish I had a little sister just like her…
…You really should think it over.

Yeah, we’re just having a calm and friendly discussion here.



This’ll be awesome! It’s the first book I’ve read in a long time!
To top it off, it was written by a CPU! This’ll be some premium stuff.
Oooh, I’m so anxious to read it!
…

I know it may not appear that way, but I can assure you things are perfectly fine.



People say sugar can stimulate the brain. …I wonder if there’s anything I can eat.
…This feels familiar…
Strawberry shortcake. Just a single slice, but it’s wrapped up all neat.
Whose is it? The name’s smudged and I can’t make it out…
-=Why does that matter? You’re gonna eat it either way.=-
I’d never do such a thing!
~*~Correct. Lyrica knows better than to take something not belonging to her.~*~
-=It’s not good to hold back. Your desire to eat something is a response to your body requiring something to eat.=-
~*~Don’t confuse her.~*~
~*~Having something important of yours stolen away… Can you imagine the devastation you would feel?~*~
-=Who cares what others feel? This is about Lyrica and nobody else. She’s hungry.=-
-=But I wonder to whom it belongs. Could it be one of the goddesses?=-

Yeah Histy, this is how we always are.



-=I think Neptune would like super-sweet chocolate cake. Lady Green Heart probably enjoys green tea cake.=-
Just because it’s green? I bet she eats stuff more… regal, like melon shortcake.
-=Yeah, you picked that because it’s green, too. What about you, angelic voice thing?=-
~*~It might be Lady White Heat’s. It’s white and she seems to be the type who would enjoy strawberries.~*~
-=So you’re interested in finding out, after all.=-
~*~My curiosity to learn the owner of the cake does not imply I wish for Lyrica to consume it.~*~
-=Yeah, whatever. If it’s really Lady White Heart’s we should leave it alone…=-
This is going nowhere! Whose cake is this, really?!
…We saved a piece for you, Lyrica.
What?!

Huh?



Lady White Heart’s good at chasing people! She didn’t have to get so upset…
I know it was like a grenade explosion, but I’m just a human! Everyone cuts a fart once in a while.
Plus, the louder it is, the less smell it has. So they say.
Anyway, that one was really sound-barrier shatteringly loud.
…She’ll get over it soon.
Oh, there you are. Why’re you sneaking around all stealthily?
Ahhh! W-Wifey Number 1? Don’t scare me like that… Did you need me? Miss me?
Delivering a message from Lady White Heart. She said… ‘Don’t think you’re going to get away with this.’
She was running around rather frantically. It was pretty out of character for her. What happened?
Oh crap! Hah, crap, get it?! Um, I better get going. Bye!
…I don’t get it. Are they playing tag? Are they both at such a playful age?

It’s nothing to worry about. Oh, hey, since you’re here, could you go track down the narrator? We’re worried Blanc’s books may have killed him or something.



She gave me one to use for reading, one to use for display, and one to use for propagating!
She didn’t wanna spoil it for me, so she didn’t tell me what it’s about…
But she says the scene where a wolf boy and a tiger boy battle it out is her favorite!
…Ooh, I know! I should share my excitement with Iffy too!
No, wait! It’s not fair to my other wifeys if I lavish Iffy with my love all the time.
In this case, I’ll pass it along so everyone can read it! All right, I’m such a genius!
…Lady White Heart said you won’t find this book in normal stores.
I wonder if it’s something normal people aren’t allowed to read?
Hmm… I’ll have to ask Iffy later!

My books didn’t kill anyone! Anyway! Next Time on Hyperdimension Neptunia: It’s A Mystery To Everyone! Who the hell knows!