Part 27: Episode XXII: Secret Pharmaceuticals

Well that was an odd encounter. We should still probably get a guide and skip town before Julienne busts out again to tear Kir’s head off and punt it into the ocean. She’s incredibly racist against not-elves, you see.

We could wander around town consulting all the unnamed NPCs, whose dialog has all changed to variants off “Gee willikers, Knight Commander/Princess Julienne sure is acting weird!” We could do that... Or... We could just talk to the only other named character in this town that hasn’t had much of a role. You remember, the one that got backhanded so hard he flew 5 meters back? He’s still hanging out exactly where he got the ability to ever taste again slapped out of his mouth.



Take us across the ice.
Gonna take a wild guess and assume you know how to do it and not Red Sweatered Man or Unfortunate Bowl Haircut Child. Though the way you’re going, I’m surprised your title isn’t Guy Who Was Owned yet.
You’re that guy Julienne knocked out cold, ain’t ya...
*nods* Yes... that’s me.
It’s Lilus, by the way. Not “Guy Who Was Owned.”
‘Course not. That’s the lil’ guy in orange.
Hey!
Umm... Would you please tell us a little about Julienne? I get the feeling she isn’t her normal self right now...
*shakes head* So you can tell...
People don’t usually glow purple and go into a blood rage. Usually.
Mm... Where should I begin...
When we first got here, you were arguing with Julienne, right? What was that about?
What’s your relationship with her?
You two aren’t like... ya know... Doing the na—


Music: Memories



To her, I am nothing more than that.
Friendzoned.
That’s not a real thing, Endir.
*shrugging gesture towards Lilus* With this guy though...?
...Okay. Maybe there’s exceptions.
*frown* I-I’m standing right here.
You’ve noticed that Julienne has changed, though? You said that she’d changed since “that day,” didn’t you?
What is it that happened to Julienne?
Julienne was out slaying monsters, and ended up stranded.
Stranded...?
Word reached the village that she and her companions had been caught up in an avalanche.
You know I’m shocked we haven’t gotten in one of those yet.
Ugh... Don’t jinx it.
Julienne should have been all right...
She’s a main character. Avalanches, dropping off cliffs, shipwrecks... those are all just minor inconveniences.
But she went back for a lone knight who failed to get away in time. There was a fierce blizzard, and eventually we gave up all hope that she could have survived... But then one day, a month or so later, Julienne returned to the village, alone.
I bet she ate that other guy to survive. Right, Guy Who Was Owned?
I am *not* a cannibal! Or that stupid name!
Can I finish?
Most people rejoiced and called it a miracle, but some were puzzled. Thinking about it logically, survival should have been impossible...
*shakes head* All I know is that ever since that day, Julienne has changed. Sometimes she is so cruel and ruthless that I cannot even believe it is her... But everything she does, she does for the sake of the people... At least... that is what I thought...
So what did you mean about Julienne asking you for help?
Julienne came to me with a request. She said that if she were to ever turn her blade against an innocent person... If that ever happened... Then she wanted me to lock her away, somewhere far away from anyone...
Lock her away...? That’s a pretty odd thing to ask someone to do, ain’t it?
Don’t kink shame.



I was worried, so I talked it over with the man from the Magic Consortium here in our village. He said it may be possible to return her to her old self... but to do so, I need a certain medicine...
So buy it for her...
He will not sell it to me... He says he would only give it to me in exchange for a spritnite stone carried by a certain monster.
Defeat the monster, then.
*sweats* I am not strong like you!
Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of knight?
*rubs neck* Yeah... Well... Look, Julienne is the only one who is actually a real knight. The rest of us are mostly just in it for the tax breaks and free meals...
Please! Help Julienne, I beg of you!
We’d love to help ya, kid... but, well, y’know...
*nods* All right. We’ll do it.
*sweats* What? C’mon...
But we too have a condition.
A condition...?
*nods* If we get the medicine in exchange for the spritnite, you’ll help us get across the Floeberg Waters. How about that?
! Huh!? Really? All I need to do is help you across?
He doesn’t look very reliable.
We should really just gank this fool so he doesn’t talk and shove the body in the well. The locals will probably take until morning to notice and we can secure another guide in the meantime.
W-what!?
...Geez, Endir.
Yeah... Sorry. Dunno what I was thinking. I forgot we should probably just storm the knights’ barracks and grease the lot of ‘em while Julienne is down. Five of us against... what? Six or seven of them with shaky morale? No problem. We did more than that with three of us back in Frankburg Citadel or wherever the hell. We can probably pin it on the princess going berserk and still get a guide. It’s a solid strat.
...What. No!
We’re not doing any of that Endir. What’s gotten into you?
Mercenary pragmatism?
......
Please don’t do any of that!
Please, don’t be fooled by my appearance. When it comes to crossing ice, I am your man!
Well we’ve established you ain’t keeping anyone warm in bed.
*frowns*
If necessary, we can all hold hands and skate across together...
*sweat drop* No, if we can just cross normally, that’ll be fine...
*sigh*
Thank you! Thank you!



Alright. Now we need to go track down the Magic Consortium stalker. He’s the only of the usual merchants we’ve yet to see.





He’s been in town the whole time since we rescued those three villagers from Beetle Boy’s cave and the remaining 20 townsfolk phased into existence soon afterwards. He’s camped out across a bridge to a small sauna shack to the south of town. Really. It’s a sauna in there. This entire next conversation transpires while a bunch of out of shape men in towels work up a good sweat scant feet away...


Music: Feeling of Unease



*turns to Lilus and shakes head** ...Oh it’s you again. You want to save her, right? It’s like I told you last time, pal. You need to bring me the spritnite. So? Are you up to it or not?
Don’t worry about that.
Oh? Hired some help, have you? I hope YOU won’t let me down, then...
Guy, we’re 99% of your business. I think we got this.
Very well. If you pull it off, I’ll mix some medicine up specially. There’s just one condition... I’ll only do it in exchange for a Madara Spritnite.
...So if we pull off getting this Madara Spritnite you’ll give us the medicine. But only if we get the Madara Spritnite.
Okay... Yes, I worded that poorly. But the goal is clear.
A Madara Spritnite?
They can only be obtained from the body of a certain monster...
You want us to defeat the monster and bring back the spritnite stone, right?
Exactly.
I see. Nice ‘n simple.
Yet you all keep rephrasing the request in the form of a question. Knock it off.
What illness does she have?
I was leaning less towards like... the flu and more towards a ghost possession or mind control device. I dunno... Not something you can work off with a swig of cough syrup and plenty of bedrest.



B-But...
Her magical energy isn’t like that of a normal person.
What do you mean?
Magical energy flows through all living things in this world. Some much more than others, of course... And magical energy has one fixed rule, too.
What rule’s that?
*sigh* I really shouldn’t be explaining this to you people, since you’re all lousy with magical energy and wearing several pounds of Spritnite around your necks. But fine...
One person can only possess one type of magical energy. Just like blood types... Everyone only has one, right?
I’m not a positive.
Don’t be negative.
*nods* Right, yeah... You can use spritnite to temporarily change magical energy, though...
Anyway, for some reason, I can definitely sense two types of energy from her.
Is that possible?
*shakes head* No, not normally. But something strange is happening inside her... I can’t even imagine what could have caused it, though. I’ve been watching her, and she’s getting worse by the day. I think she might have even lost control of her own will by now...
You’ve been watching her? Is that how you get your kicks?
Well, I’m running a business here. Doing people favors won’t help put dinner on the table, right? Anyway! We need to hurry, don’t we!?
Way to deflect.
That’s a pretty weak answer.
Don’t kink shame.



Once we do, you’ll be our guide.
Of course! I shall give it my absolute utmost!
If this doesn’t work and she keels over or turns into a giant teethed vagina we have to put down or something, you’re still on the hook for guide duty! Got it?!
Y-Yes. I’ve got it. Let us... hope it doesn’t come to that...
Don’t worry, you can count on us.
Thank you... Thank you...
So all we need to do is go back to the Floeberg Waters and defeat this monster, right?
*nods* You need to defeat a monster called a Scarly.
...Really? That’s its name.
Hey, I don’t name these things. I just profit off their remains.
Do you help name the materials?
Yeah really, cuz man... Some of these names are some DUMB nonsense.
Don’t look at me. I am entirely just a middle-man here.
How long it takes you to find the spritnite will depend on your luck. Well... don’t give up!


Music: March to Rebirth



Alright, we have our new objective of... backtracking to a previous area again. Terrific. Oh well. We can at least dump all our material stockpile here while we’re in the neighborhood and stock up on some new Spritnite for the party.



To be honest, I did Spritnite bartering earlier on and more now and it’s a bit of a mess to sort out all the new bits and bobbles we’ve obtained. Doubly since... we just have to go waste this solitary enemy back in the previous area and that’s the final battle for this chapter. I’ll post a video showing off all the new Techs and Double/Triple Techs we’ve acquired in the game thus far at the end of the chapter just to catch us up on everything we’ve gotten so far.





What I won’t gloss over right now, since we’ve acquired a rather tidy war chest, is upgrading everyone’s weapons before we head out into the field. Sure, Setsuna only got to use her recent upgrade in a solitary battle and now there’s a new one. But I’d like to keep everyone current.



Endir acquires some cyberpunk ass looking saber used for slaying demons in ancient times. I’m pretty sure some interchangeable cyborg mook in Metal Gear Rising had one of these equipped before being sliced into fifty pieces.



Setsuna now has some sort of ancient relic that phases her into a higher dimension or some shit. She is no longer shackled to the laws of causality and does 12 greater Magical Attack points of damage.



Aeterna of course upgrades to a ritual dagger used in a many a blood sacrifice. Tempered in the blood of countless maidens’ hearts, she’s now got slightly higher MP as a result. So clearly human sacrifice is entirely worth the effort.



Lastly, Nidr has gotten some sort of cross between a monster mantis arm and a malformed wood saw. I cannot imagine the balance on that being anything other than a nightmare. But hey, I guess it causes Nidr to tumble out of the way of attack easier.

Kir only just joined the party officially a couple chapters ago and is exempt from getting any new weapon upgrades unfortunately. He’ll just have to make do with that mace wand for a spell.





Now that all that business is out of the way, it’s back to the Floeberg Waters to see about slaying the fearsome... Scarly.


Music: Flowing On



So this monster called a Scarly has this spritnite, right?
He said it would be down to luck... Which means they won’t necessarily have one.
Let’s do our best. Lilius’s counting on us, too...
If we’d gone with my earlier plan we would probably be coming here to cross the ice right about now.
We’re not going to discuss that plan again, Endir.



The Scarly isn’t particularly hard to locate. We just have to essentially take the party back to the northeastern exit of the area and we’ll find they have spawned back there in a previously empty plot of land. Turns out the Scarly is... a retextured Pengy variant. Really, game? Going to have a forced grind and not even make it a new enemy type? Why did you squander those snake guys on a nothing filler fight back in the cave? Hell the name Scarly even fits better for them.



Oh well. It is what it is. Scarly penguins are much hardier than even the angry eyebrow variants of their species. They only pack 295 HP but they’ve got high enough defense that it takes a good three plus Cyclones for Endir to take ‘em out. For comparison’s sake, Endir could ice every other enemy we encounter in this area in a single Cyclone. Before he upgraded to the new HF Blade.



Scarly critters have all their species cousins’ previous attacks. But they can also coordinate their attacks to have all units do a presumably fart gas powered Rocket Rush, hitting a single party member for 30-50 HP x as many Scarly are on the field.







While the Scarly are rather strong against physical attacks... they do burn real good, as it turns out. And slaying the lot of ‘em will result in obtaining the Madara Spritnite. All that talk about it being a potential randomized drop was false. The Madara Spritnite is their only drop, regardless of kill method. Or rather, I’m fairly certain at some point it WAS going to be the case it was RNG dependent and testers complained cuz as it turns out, locking story progress behind grinding a single enemy encounter kinda would be shitty!



Anyway, job’s done! Let’s head back into town for our fourth and final visit to Royburg.





Daylight has returned to the town and the town square bonfire has been extinguished and dismantled. The village of knights is very efficient about returning the status quo to order.



Here you go, guy. Take your shady Spritnite we carved out of the nether regions of a tan furred penguin.


Music: Feeling of Unease



You found one! Thank you!
Now we shall be able to save Julienne!
*turns around away from everyone* Wow... Ohhh... Ahhh...
*sweats* Umm... Will you give us the medicine for Julienne, please?
You can rub one off with that thing or whatever you’re doing *after* we leave...
! Oh! Yes, right!
*turns back* Sorry, sorry... I got a bit carried away there. Here it is, as promised.



This entire exchange seems entirely on the level. Just your basic exchange of goods and services on a secluded island outside a sauna.



Come on, quickly! We need to go and give Julienne the medicine!
*nods and runs off*
Gonna be really mad if she does transform into a teethed vagina blob and we’ve gotta grease the entire knighthood anyway.



Now it’s just a matter of heading due north to the knights’ clubhouse and seeing if this “Secret Medicine” works worth a damn.



! Ah, travelers, it is you... What is the matter?
We brought some bottle of medicine to fix her knight highness here so Squire Friendzone will give us guide across the ice drifts.
Oh... Where did you acquire such a remedy?
A umm... reputable vendor. Anyway, just umm... pour this down her throat or... shove it up her bum or slather it all over her. It didn’t come with instructions... Just give her this so she’ll stop being evil. That’d be great.



*ponders* So if she takes this medicine, there is a chance that she shall recover...?
Yes! Come, Cornelius! We have no time to waste!
But...
You can’t pretend not to notice.
C’mon guy. She’s clearly got a mad case of the Caims with all the random bloodlust and whatnot.
Augh...
......
*shakes had* I cannot deny it... You are exactly right. Too long have we buried our heads in the sand, saying it is for the sake of our kingdom’s restoration... The blame for Her Highness’s condition lies with us also...
......
Very well... Will you give me the medicine?
Go for it, guy. No guarantees side-effects won’t include massive weight gain, muscle growth, and shoulder eyeball.
...Excuse me?
Fair warning.



I’m no black market chemist, but I think I’d give my mysterious remedy a more marketable title than “Secret Medicine” in quotation marks on the bottle.



Cornelius grabs the bottle of for all we know rat poison medicine and slams it in Julienne’s face. Which results in...





!


New Music: Last of the Blood



Lilus...?
You Highness!

Julienne sits up in bed...



I... Where am I...? No... I know you... I have seen all of you before...
Do you remember what you did to me?
*shakes head* ...I am sorry, I do not. What is it that I did?
*sweats* You, uh... You stroked my head. Yeah. Gave it a nice little stroke...
...I see.
*rubs eyes* The hair on your cranium head, correct...
Yea... What else could you me—
Movin’ on!
...I see.

Some time later...



Oh, don’t worry about us... You get good and rested up, then show everyone you’re back to your old self.
I am grateful for your kindness.
You should probably start by apologizin’ to the two guys you were fixin’ to execute last night.
Yes... That would be a prudent start...
*nods* Julienne... Please take care of yourself. You’re irreplaceable to all the people here... You’re like a beacon of hope to them.
Thank you... I shall engrave your words upon my heart.
Don’t have anything to add, Endir?
Yo Childhood Friend Who Got Owned, time to cross the ice. Get your ass in gear.
Of course! I owe Julienne’s life to you... I shall do everything in my power to assist you.
I am sorry that I do not recall this, after everything you have done for me... But tell me, to where do you next intend to travel?
*sweat* Uh, well...
We umm... just want to do some...
Ice fishing.
Y-Yeah! Ice fishing.
Is it not the Last Lands, perchance?
Huh!? How did you know!?
*nods* I see. I thought you no ordinary travelers. For you to be journeying with such capable companions. Your destination could only be the Last Lands.
At any rate, I shall take responsibility for seeing them across safely. You rest, Julienne. Come, I shall be your guide.
Finally, time to get goin’...
Please take care, Julienne.
......



Alrighty then. The stirring Royburg arc seems to finally be at its end. Let’s just roll on out and...



!

Julienne rushes onto the scene...


Music: Farewell



No, I am fine. I...

Julienne rises to her feet...



You only just recovered, didn’t ya? You sure you’re up to it?
If I should become a hindrance to you, you are free to cast me off at any time. I wish to go to the Last Lands and see the truth with my own eyes.
See the truth...?
To see the kingdom, you mean?
You know it’s just gonna be a monster filled bummer ruins, right?
It is certain beyond all doubt that the kingdom has long perished. Perhaps no traces of the old capital even still remain. It is said that ordinary people cannot even reach the Last Lands, so I must go there for myself.
Well... you do have a character portrait. So you’ve already got that going for you...
The only thing that I do already know for certain is that a great power dwells there... The royal blood that flows through my veins tells me that it is so. Although it shames me to say it... I do not know if the source of that power is indeed what brought about my kingdom’s ruin. I cannot send my men into mortal battle without being absolutely certain of this fact. The lives of my fellow countrymen hang in the balance.
Julienne...
So, to summarize... your goal’s different, but your destination’s the same, and you wanna come with us.
*nods*
Well, why not? It won’t make any difference to our journey whether she comes along or not, right?
*turns to Endir* What do you think, Endir?
You’ll have to earn your keep.
Kill monsters, beat bosses, try not to get kidnapped. Only own Kir if it’s funny.
Hey, lay off already.
Yeah... That’s unfair. I mean it’ll never not be funny.
I owe my life to you. Thus, I shall readily risk it for you in combat.
*shakes head* No, Julienne. There’s no need for you alone to risk your life.
...?
We all look out for each other, and we all protect each other... That’s the sort of journey I want this to be.
*nods* Very well. Your word is my command.
Talk about formal... It’s important to be able to take it easy sometimes, too, y’know?
You’re a fine one to talk, old man...



Lilus... I apologize for having caused you concern. As you have heard, I am to accompany them on their journey. I shall return with the truth... That is a promise. Then, together, we shall all strive towards the true restoration of our kingdom!
Very well... These people are worthy of your trust... You must place it in them.
*nods* Thank you... You are truly a good friend.
*sweat drop* Ha ha... ha... Friend, eh... Yes, right... I suppose that is enough for me...
Ha. Rekt.
*nods* Please look after Julienne. With her as your guide, I know I need not worry for your safety.



And so Julienne joins our party. Boy... I thought they would have dragged her being evilish out a bit longer. But nope. Here’s some meds in exchange for murdering some penguins. All better. Welcome to the team! I'm sure it'll be fine... Oh well, that concludes Chapter 7: United By Fate. Or... more like happenstance and convenience. But that’s not as catchy a chapter title...







Party Promotional Art – We’ve finally gotten the full party, so here’s the one piece of very pretty art of all of ‘em together.