The Let's Play Archive

Jack Orlando

by corn in the bible

Part 10


I didn't hate this game before, but now I do. I really do.

So Jack's in the harbor. And it turns out the harbor is fucking bullshit.

There's only one way to go from the entrance; it leads here. That rope seems important, right? Let's pick it up.

Guess what? It's a goddamn stealth mission. The guard patrols left and right, and if he sees you it's game over. But he doesn't appear immediately -- instead, his arrival is timed just so that if you head towards the warehouse as soon as you get through the gate, you'll die. Also, while Jack usually walks around lightning-fast, in these areas he refuses to move quickly. Running is something normal people can do, Jack, you should try it!

Jack hides behind some boxes for a while. Alcoholism really messes with your reflexes.

The guard can't see or hear you if you're behind him, so as long as you don't move past his current location you're safe. Let's try this again:

Success! Except, as I realized later, this item is completely pointless. It's labeled WIRE, and you need a WIRE to beat the game, but this is a different one. I guess giving them different names was too difficult.

The guard goes around the corner, meaning we're free to proceed. The warehouse doors aren't locked, and you're free to enter... but it's a trap! Surviving the warehouse is impossible without more items, so we have to keep going and then come back later. There's no wide angle overview of the scene from that side, either, so getting back here from the left is a crap-shoot. Game design's hard, yo.

Get out of here or they'll have to fish you out of the water tomorrow.
My compliments, old man. Well put.
The last guy who said that ended up as fish food.

Ok. Remember that rum we stole from a hobo?

Well, I'll accept this bottle as your apology.
I'm thrilled. But I still need a rope.
A rope?
Right. Exactly like this one here.
Then take it. It's all yours.

His rope is one of the two things we need in order to survive the warehouse. For the other, we have to solve a bullshit maze.

Would you have guessed that middle section was a fourth exit? I guess you're just not private dick material...

Boss, we gotta take somebody out here.
Why you suddenly so pale?
It's the smell. You stink.
Such a big guy. Where am I gonna get such a big box.
Don't just stand there, shake the lead out!
What's wrong? Break out of your chains?
Shut your mouth. I'll make mincemeat outta ya'.
Oh, the guy from the Sunday School. Amen.

You might have noticed one of the gangsters dropped a crowbar. There's a half-opened crate on the left side, there, too.

That wasn't to get anything from inside the crate, mind. It's just that wooden planks are worth their weight in gold in 1920s New York City, and this is the only one in existence.

Continuing on from there, we come across this boat.

The obvious items sitting in the foreground there? Red herrings. Useless. I don't regret picking them up, though:

It sure ain't, Jack.

This is what the plank was for, by the way. I guess Jack Orlando can't swim? But, at last, here's what all that fuss was about :

Using the wrench from Frank's garage, Jack steals an anchor from this boat. That whole sequence of ridiculous events was all in aid of finding an anchor, and yet when you see what the anchor is for you'll realize it could have been literally any other object in the world. There's no reason for any of this!

Whatever, let's go check out the warehouse.

By the way, you have to tell Orlando to pick up the door in order to get inside. Yes.

Here's the inside of the warehouse. Just pretend I put in pics of him picking up that hammer and climbing up to the exit, alright? Because it's time for the big reveal!

Yes! The man behind the conspiracy, who has been supplying the mob and corrupted the police force (apparently) is... a guy!

I'm very glad you're happy with our cooperation.
The next delivery should be even bigger, so my customers'll be even happier than they are now. By the way, what's happening with the police?
I've taken care of all critical matters. Tom Rogers, the inspector, is at your service. There's just one problem I couldn't take care of.
Yeah, and what would that be?
Some detective is on our trail. But I don't know who it is.
You underestimate me, Major. The detective's name is Jack Orlando and I've got him locked up in the basement. When I get back I'm gonna make sure he never bothers us again.

They keep talking for what feels like ages, but it's honestly not very interesting. Suffice to say, the Major is selling army guns to the mob. The police chief is also involved, which definitely explains why he sent Jack Orlando off to solve the case rather than simply keeping him locked up as a murder suspect. That's it.

They leave, and Jack casually saunters over to the switch in the middle of the catwalk. He flips it.

Somehow this makes all the guards leave. I think they'd just given up by this point, frankly.

To the roof!

next time, the long national nightmare ends. stay tuned.