Part 128: Crescendo

Update 116: Crescendo (Act 3, Scenes 6-7)

Sex scene in this update.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Everyday Fantasy

I lay out the plates of food, steam slowly rising from the well-cooked rice and curry dishes, while Hanako lays out the cutlery. Knife one side, fork on the other. Western. How perfectly fitting for someone like Lilly. As we take our seats, taking careful heed of the dark red tablecloth hanging below our knees, Lilly emerges from the kitchen. In her hands are three glasses and... a bottle of wine?

As I recall our previous run-in with that devilish elixir, I hide my face in my palm.


HISAO: "Alcohol? Seriously?"



She pauses as she reaches the table, a playful grin perched on her face.


LILLY: "Akira specifically gave permission to take a bottle from her collection."

Not only does she give alcohol to minors, she even lets them pilfer their own? The perfect model of a responsible adult Akira is not. More to the point, though, is that this is hardly a meal deserving of alcohol. I'm starting to think Lilly's the type to easily become hooked on things.


HISAO: "That's not really the problem. I don't really have any qualms with it, but didn't you have a bad experience with it last time?"


LILLY: "Last time was likely due to drinking too much, so a single glass shouldn't prove a problem. Think of it as a learning experience."


HISAO: "I can't recall many learning experiences that made me feel rotten before putting me to sleep, but I'll take your word for it."

She dips an uninjured finger inside to feel the liquid level, tip against the bottom as the liquid rises up. The white of her finger almost seems to glow as the sunlight hits it, the delicate outline blurred and refracted by the glass. Her fingers are definitely longer than mine, the kind I'd think more suited to a pianist than a teacher. She'd likely have done well if she'd learned how to play. We quickly dig into our meal, forks and knives clattering against plates. None of us are particularly eager to speak while eating, Lilly altogether too reserved for such a thing, Hanako probably too shy to start conversation, and I too busy savoring the food. Such a pedestrian activity, eating together at a table.

It seems so utterly normal, yet it makes me realize how long it's been since I've done something like this. Just the three of us, sitting around a single table eating as if we were a malformed family. Maybe this trip, as far away from everything as we are, was worth it.

It takes quite a long time, but eventually we all finish our surprisingly filling meal. The wine, thankfully, has little effect given we've only had a glass or two each. I slump back into the seat, rubbing my stomach contentedly.


HISAO: "I'm stuffed."

Lilly pats her mouth with a napkin. Twice, only twice, and with evenly timed intervals inbetween. It's hard to tell sometimes whether how she acts is a well-trained routine or a well-rehearsed act.


LILLY: "I think I must be as well. Did you like it, Hanako?"


HANAKO: "Mm, it was nice."


LILLY: "Now that we're well fed, shall we be off?"


HISAO: "Off? Where?"


LILLY: "Ah, you weren't privy to the discussion between Hanako and I earlier."

I get the impression that she's having a subtle dig at my sleeping in.


HANAKO: "We'll be going into the town nearby."

I guess I should have expected two girls to take a holiday as an excuse to go shopping, no matter where on the planet they may be. I am interested to see more around the north though, so this can only be a good thing.


HISAO: "Sounds good. How long's the walk in, then?"


LILLY: "It's supposed be around a mile to a mile and a half."


HISAO: "Nearby, huh? Great."

Just great.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Air Guitar



As we climb up the path surrounded by trees and undergrowth, I watch Lilly and Hanako walking ahead. The slight breeze all but whisks away the sound of Lilly's cane gently tapping on the ground. I notice that Lilly's since removed the bandaid now that the bleeding of her finger has stopped. A deep, lung-filling breath of the fresh country air makes me wish all the harder that the air around home had been quite so clean. It can't have even been half a mile, but I'm already working up a sweat. It isn't a pleasantly cool day, though, so I shouldn't be too hard on myself for it.


HISAO: "Hey Lilly, how well do you know this town, anyway?"


LILLY: "Since I spent quite a few of my vacations here up until I entered Yamaku, I'd say I know it fairly well. We used to drive there once a weekend then."

How I wish Akira was here to drive us now. I quickly take a moment to rub my hands a couple of times, staving off the oddly cold feeling in them.


HISAO: "Did you like it up here?"


LILLY: "I'd say it was nice during winter, but as you can work out, summers get a little too hot for comfort. It's nice and quiet, at least. My family's real house is quite far south. When they left Japan, my parents gave it to Akira and I. Only Akira lives there now, after my moving into Yamaku."


HISAO: "Well, quiet certainly describes this place."

Though lonely is how I'd put it. Other than the prophesied small town, there isn't another soul for miles around. Coming from a home nestled deep within the big city, it's certainly different. I think that if I'd not come to Yamaku, staying out in the country like this would be too much of a change to get used to. After getting accustomed to the school's isolation, though, the idea of living in a place such as this has become almost inviting. To be somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of the metropolitan centers.


LILLY: "So Hisao, have you been to Hokkaido before?"


HISAO: "Nah. I used to live down south, and we never had any field trips or holidays up this far."


LILLY: "Well, it's a new experience for you then."


HISAO: "Yeah, it is. I'm surprised at how nice it feels here. How about you, Hanako?"

She shakes her head from side to side.


HANAKO: "It's my first time too."

As we continue walking, I begin to feel pins and needles in my legs. It's a little disturbing, given there's no reason for it to be happening.


HISAO: "Could you two hold on a moment? I just need to..."

(Silence)


LILLY: "Is anything wrong?"


HISAO: "Nah, I've just got pins and needles in..."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Cold Iron (Heartbeat)



My vocal cords suddenly become taut as my chest tightens instantaneously. I quickly pull my upper arm over it, trying to quell the shot of pain spreading throughout my entire body.


LILLY: "Hisao?"

Lilly's face is only mildly concerned, not knowing the sight which Hanako's recoiling from.


HISAO: "I'm fine, I'm... fine. Just... tired..."

I remove my arm from my chest and force myself to begin walking again. It's just a minor heart flutter, so it'll pass like the others. It only takes a couple of steps before my body violently revolts against me, my legs suddenly beginning to give way underneath me and all tension in my knees seeming to evaporate.



Before I can react they uselessly give way under my weight, leaving me only just enough time to brace myself and fall onto all fours.


HISAO: "Ah, damn..."


HANAKO: "Hisa... AAAAH!"

As I look up to her I realize my face is still taut with pain, only adding that much more to her worrying.


LILLY: "Hisao!? Hanako, tell me what's going on! Hanako, tell me!"

Hanako quickly moves to my side as Lilly almost panics, having little clue as to exactly how bad a condition I'm in. While she stands there petrified, I lower my face and take a deep breath. I come to a realization that makes me endlessly irritated with my stupid self. With all the excitement of my new surroundings, I'd entirely neglected to take my medications last night or even this morning.

(Silence)

Taking another breath, the acute pain in my chest begins to die down as suddenly as it had arrived. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God, thank God, thank God.



As it does, I become acutely aware of the sweat by now pouring off my face and the two scared girls around me.


LILLY: "Hisao!"


HISAO: "I'm fine, Lilly. I'm... fine."

I screw up my brow in an effort to lever myself up, Hanako's arms quickly moving to catch me if I fall as I stumble a bit before regaining my balance. I look to Lilly and Hanako, worry written on both their faces. I feel awful. Utterly awful.


LILLY: "I think we should go back."


HISAO: "I..."

Realizing the futility of protesting, I look away in frustration.


HISAO: "Fine."

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time



(Silence)



I open my eyes groggily, completely bereft of energy. For a while, I simply lie down lifelessly, staring at the ceiling as I review the events of the morning in an attempt to organize my thoughts. We went to walk to town. My heart nearly gave way. We came back. I took my pills. I slept. I can only remember each period of time as a snapshot, but the timeline is clear enough. The memory of the girls' faces as I struggled to stand is an unpleasant one, stinging my feelings harshly.

If I look at the ceiling hard enough, I can imagine the tile edges and small dimples of the ceiling in the hospital. That fact alone is enough to make me sit up and try to pull myself together.

I scratch the back of my disheveled hair, glancing around the room. Lilly and Hanako are nowhere to be seen, and the television's turned off. The clock above it says it's pretty late in the afternoon. The noticeably reddened sky outside the windows confirms it further. I turn and pick myself off the futon, swaying slightly as I put my arms out for balance. I suppose I'd better go look for the girls to see if they're... all right...

As I look out the window, I faintly see something in the distance. Straining my eyes, I can just make out the shape of a person's figure. Her long blonde hair, swaying in the faint breeze, makes her almost seem to melt into the bright yellow of the wheat field. Without a second thought, I leave the room to follow that lone apparition.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Innocence



The brightness of the setting sun assaults my freshly woken eyes, forcing me to avert them until they adjust. The long, yellow strands of wheat brush against my legs as I wade through them, the densely-grown field making it hard to advance. Regardless, my eyes stay fixed ahead, true to that solitary figure. Within minutes I reach her, meters behind her turned back.




HISAO: "Lilly?"

She simply nods.


HISAO: "Where's Hanako?"


LILLY: "She's in bed. She went to sleep after I calmed her down."

She says it matter-of-factly and with as few words as possible, as if saying any more was strictly forbidden. There's something different about her. Her normally confident figure seems oddly fragile, her body offering no resistance to the breeze blowing her skirt. The strands of wheat sway from side to side while a deafening pause passes, the only sound being their rustling. As we stand in the field alone, I know what I have to ask.


HISAO: "What's wrong, Lilly? You're not acting like you usually do."


LILLY: "Remember when I talked of my family, Hisao?"


HISAO: "Your family..."

I look downwards in thought, sifting through my scattered memories. The event seems to leap ready to hand when I search for it, rising to the surface as soon as it was recalled.


HISAO: "After Hanako's birthday party?"

She gives a single, simple nod.


LILLY: "It was nice... back then. You and I, celebrating with Hanako. Simply sharing presents, talking, having fun together. It was almost as if we were a family. One small, misshapen family. I thought that could just go on forever. Just the three of us, happily together."

She takes a long breath, a slight shakiness to it just barely audible through the moving air.


LILLY: "Even if my family was so far away... as long as we were together, that was all I needed. I don't want to lose you, Hisao. I didn't even realize how afraid I was of losing someone else until today. Until..."


HISAO: "I'm sorry, Lilly. I know my body's weak, but even then I make the most stupid of mistakes."

(Silence)


LILLY: "Don't apologize... please don't apologize..."


HISAO: "Lilly...?"

She turns to face me, her pale cheeks stained with tears. One misguided step after another she stumbles towards me, her arms held out in search of so much as a faint brush against me.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Romance in Andante II



My heart doesn't race nor pound as I step towards Lilly, gently taking and steadying her in my arms as she quickly clutches to me, sobbing. With her face trembling against my shoulder, the next words from her mouth are the last I expected.


LILLY: "I love you, Hisao. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you! Don't go away, I beg of you. Never, ever go away. I love you, so please...!"

Katawa Shoujo OST - Romance in Andante II

So... that's why she's been acting like this. That tender voice when I called her, her thoughtless concern at the slightest pain I might feel... After having been left in Japan without her family, and with only Akira, Hanako and I around, she was afraid of losing yet another person who was close to her. She was genuinely worried for me. It's a strange feeling. A mix of surprise and sorrow, yet also of the deepest gratitude I think I've ever felt. The only reaction I can muster among my conflicting emotions is a calm sigh.


HISAO: "You idiot."


LILLY: "Hi... sao?"

For a fleeting moment, I feel her body become still. The only movement to be felt is the calm afternoon breeze.


HISAO: "I said it before, didn't I? It's only natural to feel concerned about those around you. I'm still here, and I'll always be here, because I want to see you more each day. To share in your happiness, to support you in your sadness... But most of all, I'll still be here because I want to see your smile. Your true smile."

A single gust of wind rustles the long strands of wheat, a second's silence passes.


HISAO: "Smile when you want to smile. Cry when you want to cry. I love you, Lilly. So you don't have to hold back any more."

With that, her arms clutch my back as tightly as she can, her face buried beside mine.



Her tears fall down my back and she cries unrestrainedly as the last of her resistance melts away.


LILLY: "Hisao! Hisao! Hisao!"

I close my eyes and bring my head down to her shoulder, holding her shaking frame tightly.


HISAO: "It's okay, Lilly. I'll never go away. I promise."

(Silence)

We slowly walk back to the house, holding each other tightly as we take a seat inside. Lilly leans her head onto my shoulder as I put my arm around her waist. Neither of us has any want to break the silence. With her eyes shut it's hard to work out whether she's fallen asleep. Not that I mind: the warmth of her body leaning against me, the softness of her hand delicately held in mine...

For a long, long time we sit leaning against one another, sharing our warmth and feelings as night eventually begins to settle in. Lilly's gentle, soft voice ends the silence.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Aria De l’Etoile




LILLY: "Thank you, Hisao."


HISAO: "Thank you?"


LILLY: "For returning my feelings."


HISAO: "Did you think I wouldn't?"


LILLY: "There was the possibility."

I take a deep breath in thought. That much was only my fault.


HISAO: "It's funny, actually. I was thinking of telling you about my own feelings sometime soon. I guess, in that way, you saved me the effort."

She raises her head a little and gives a tiny, amused giggle. I smile at how earnest it is, so girlish in its lightness. She collects herself soon afterward, her hair resting against my shoulder.


HISAO: "Feeling a bit better?"

She gives a small nod.


LILLY: "You are thoughtful, Hisao. That's why I like you."


HISAO: "I'm sorry I'm like this. As much as I didn't want to make you concerned for me, I couldn't do anything to prevent it."


LILLY: "Don't apologize for it. Please don't."


HISAO: "Lilly?"




LILLY: "Have I ever apologized for my blindness, even once? You can't help the way you were born, Hisao. There's no point in apologizing for who you are.

She says this with surprising conviction. In the end, it was perhaps this mentality which spurred her to befriend me in such a short time, in addition to her motherly instincts. She did seem to become trusting very quickly, but I'd never questioned why. Now it seems obvious that she did so to help me as I went through one of the lowest points of my life. I move to respond, but cut myself off as I feel her fingers run gently through my hair. I feel their soft and delicate touch moving downwards to trace the contours of my face, her palm finally settling on my cheek.


LILLY: "You are a beautiful person, Hisao. Please, don't ever apologize for that."

For a moment, I'm utterly speechless. I slowly bend my head down, placing a tender kiss on her light, voluminous hair.


HISAO: "We're a couple of right old fools, aren't we?"


LILLY: "...We are."

After a long calm, she speaks again.


LILLY: "Hisao?"


HISAO: "Yes?"

(Silence)


LILLY: "I... I wouldn't mind if you..."

I feel her hand tensing under mine, trembling slightly. My mouth opens, but try as I might I can't formulate a response to her proposition.


HISAO: "Lilly..."

Before I can say another word, she slips her hand from under mine and tenderly holds the side of my face once more.


LILLY: "Please."

I give a peaceful smile, holding her hand against my cheek as I nod a single time.


HISAO: "Okay."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Letting My Heart Speak

As I look into her eyes, she leans towards me. Her delicate lips touch mine as she guides herself with her hand. She breaks off not a second later, faintly smiling.


LILLY: "I love you, Hisao."

We kiss again, this time with both of us meeting the other. While the previous kiss was one of love, this is one of lust, our tongues meeting and our breathing heavy. After precious seconds we part, both our faces well and truly flushed.

Both of us bring our fingers to our lips in unison, recalling that fleeting feeling, rapidly becoming buried both by our urges and bashfulness. Lilly is the first to shift uncomfortably, though.


HISAO: "What is it?"


LILLY: "Should we... get more comfortable?"


HISAO: "Hmm? Ah, o-okay..."

Now that she mentions it, this futon would be a bit too narrow to do much on. Considering the thoughts running through both our minds, it's no small wonder one of us has any measure of foresight left. I take her hands and guide her sideways as I move, the brief and awkward dance ending with both of us tentatively sitting on the floor opposite each other. As I reach forward to pull her top up, she stops after she moves her hands to do the same.


LILLY: "You're shaking..."

I pause for a moment and look at my hands. Sure enough, they're quivering slightly. Whether it's from nervousness or excitement, I'm not sure.


HISAO: "Uh... I guess I am."


LILLY: "So you're as nervous as I am, then?"

I withdraw my hands and sigh, steadying myself. We have plenty of time, so there's no need to rush this.


HISAO: "Sorry. It's my first time, so I'm a bit..."

She giggles shakily, all but confirming what I reasonably deduced by now.


LILLY: "It's the same for me. I'm happy... we could share this together."

I match her smile twofold, leaning forward and taking her body in my arms as she reaches to hug me back.


HISAO: "I love you, Lilly."


LILLY: "You already said that."

I can't help grinning. Even in such a situation, she still has her wits about her. Breaking our embrace, we decide to take off our own clothing.



They begin undressing themselves, with Lilly definitely taking the lead. She stops when she feels his chest and finds his surgery scar.


LILLY: "Should we... really be doing this kind of thing...?"

Those words bother me beyond what is rational. Lilly's face breaks my heart more than even her words possibly could, yet I don't even know the answer to her question. I can't let this condition dominate me forever. It may not even be medically advisable, but I outright refuse to live my life in such a prison.


HISAO: "It's okay, Lilly. This much will be okay."

The encounter is brief and simple but highly charged. By the end, the two are both exhausted, but more from the sheer emotional intensity than the physical activity. They practically pass out in each other’s laps.