Part 5: Episode 5: We Fired the Guy Who Came up With This Level

I didn't like the card system at first either but after I accepted the system and built my own deck up I started liking it a lot more. Rather than spamming attack, if you play smart with your Sleights and use your 0's for breaking you can pull off some very cool shit. I -have- beaten this game (and the bonus section) before so don't worry about me getting stuck and not finishing. Right then... Oh god here it comes...

Episode 5: We Fired the Guy Who Came up With This Level

Ugh. Monstro. Who thought this was a good idea? What is Japan's facination with fleshy monster gut dungeons? How does one breath while inside a whale's carcass anyways?
Logic be damned lets get this outta the way.



Looks like we aren't in Kansas anymore, Toto.


Sora, remember the card you used to pop this door like 30 seconds ago? Remember the big whale on the front that said "MONSTRO" on it?


Goofy that's disgusting.


Now who could this be...? Well it sure isn't Riku.



Well at least this guy knows where the hell they are.



Did anyone like Pinnochio as a child? That movie scared the shit out my tiny girlish ass. I'm not sure why in retrospect.


For once the eyes closed is not me sucking at screencapping! Pinoke and his father tend to talk with their eyes shut. Like father like... son.



If you're supposed to be his conscience why are you blogging my adventure. Pinnochio's world should have been restored with the others so you could have gone back like most of the people we met on our journey.

Jiminy you're a crappy conscience.



Well isn't that-


Lying about lying? That's almost as silly as forgetting about forgetting.



I'm convinced Pinocchio and Gepetto have kept alive by building fires out of Pinoke's nose, hacking off sections of Monstro's innards and cooking them up.



What are you talking about I know exactly how we got here. We held up a magic card made from half-assed memories a dark coated man downloaded from our head while we-
Well, Goofy's answer saves us a lot of explaining to the small wooden fellow so lets go with that.


Pinocchio has his priorities straight. I'd do the same thing if I was stuck inside a whale.


You don't have to look so happy about it Jiminy.



Yay, lets explore the AIDs ridden whale. It'll be fun!


The entry cutscene drops us about 2 feet from the first Plot Door so lets hit it while the hittin's good.


If you played Kingdom Hearts you'll recognize this as sortof the mouth/back of Monstro's throat area that Geppeto's boat got stuck in. The whale ate the boat, thats what all the wreckage came from.




Quick black out to show time has passed. I'm just going to pretend you've all seen Pinocchio so I don't have to summarize it.




Sora, what did Aeris say about figments distracting you? None of this is real. We don't have to help these people because they don't actually exist.


You're telling me.



Geppeto offers us some Monstro-steak but we declined.




Can I make a doll fetish joke? Nah, better not.


You can't just walk in and out of people's lives like this Jiminy. No wonder you're single.




He's off doing what you should be Sora. Looking for a way out.




I'm starting to think that eating Monstro-bits has begun to rot poor Geppetto's brain.




Oh great. Why did everyone convieniently forget that we aren't really inside Monstro? We did this already in KH1, and I really don't think Monstro came back and ate Geppetto's boat AGAIN. Fine, fine, lets go with it.


New enemies abound in Monstro's T-Virus infected innards. Here we have the exploding barrel-spiders. I hate these things.


The ladders are made of tiny yellow bones. What kind of mutant whale is this?!


Oh hey look the plot door is in the very same room! That great it means we can just get the fuck out of-
You're shitting me right. That door requires the 3rd plot key. We have the second. Monstro.


More enemies, the big fat guys who yes you still have to hit from the back or they take no damage, and the little flying guys who dive at you and are generally annoying. Not too difficult but I'm recharging my deck 2-4 times to deal with random battles now.


One last new enemy the spinny dudes. I don't think these were in KH1, but they were in KH2. Several enemies from 2 made their debut here. In other news I've gone into my deck and done a bit of customizing, removing some of the useless 1's and 2's and repping them with 4's and 5's.



Door requiring a 1+. That's incredibly easy, lets throw a Sleeping Darkness. In here the monsters are all visible on the screen and frozen in place so I can walk up and smack em on the head. Nice.


My deck is starting to get a little weak so I'm going to burn the next 2 levels in CP. If you want to liken it to other RPGs, Card Power is more like Attack Power than MP. The more CP you have the better you can make your deck.


I've found a wildcard save room card. I don't really need this because I have SAVESTATE MAGIC but it's great for those using gameboys. Any room I open with this key will have a save cube and no monsters. Sweet.


The next door I'm going to drop this little Calm Bounty. This gives me a treasure box in the next room and no enemies.



Yay, we've gottena new sleight! What is in the box depends on the floor and world you are currently in.


And I've reached Plot door number 2! What's behind door number 2 you ask?

Find out next time in...
Episode 6: Acid Reflux
PS. if no one votes I'm going to have to go to Wonderland, to get that shit out da way. It is up to you to agree or disagree with me!