Part 23: I Can't, I'm Fighting the Zombie
I Can't, I'm Fighting the Zombie
Well, there was one vote for Saharia and a few votes for doing both villains in a single update, but the zombie king carried the day. I hope you've got some Turn Undead spells prepared, Ignatia, because it's time to fight Raggedy Facey!
He hangs out in Castle Tylitch. You can tell because of the overpowering stench of decay coming out of it.
"Actually, pretty much all castles smell that way. That's what you get when you live in an era before refrigeration and sewers."
"Isn't it supposed to be 'brains'?"
"I'm a vegetarian zombie."
"Oh. Well, that's good."
"But I'm still going to sacrifice you to my fearsome zombie god."
Ragface is the weakest villain on Archipelia. He has exactly the same troops as Rinaldus, just in slightly larger numbers. And just like with Rinaldus, we want to get rid of those demons first.
"The only cure for acute demonitis is an Ignatia-sized dose of fiery death!"
With most of the demons wiped out, we can afford to take out those vampires so that they don't fly over and annoy us. I'm sure the giants will be able to deal with the few remaining demons.
DAMMIT, GIANTS, THIS IS PRECISELY THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME FOR YOUR LEAVING-ONE-ENEMY-ALIVE SHTICK
Oh, and I forgot to get the garrison bitch out of the way of those Ghosts. Whoops. Guess we'll have to fetch another after the battle.
As you may have gathered, demons have a small chance to do something very bad every time they attack. They haven't done it so far.
"Damn, it feels good to have attack magic that's actually useful again."
"Even the Druids can't upstage me today!"
For a Giant, that's a pretty damn good shot.
Oh, Barbarians, it's so cute when you act like you can actually do anything besides act as a meatshield for our artillery.
"Hey, Ragface, I just disintegrated three-quarters of your buddies! Whatcha gonna do about it, shamble menacingly toward me?"
"... that was my plan, yes."
"Better think of a plan B, then. One that involves neither passing Go nor collecting 200 gold pieces."
We've probably spent several thousand gold on garrison bitches by now, but I can't be bothered going back to Continentia to get one Peasant every time we capture a castle.
Stat check time!
Apart from that one dwarf, we didn't lose anyone in the last battle.
400 grand. This is an insane amount of money. Don't worry, though: we'll eventually find something good to spend it on.
Finally, we liberated another map piece to the southwest of the Sceptre.
The only villain remaining on Archipelia is Auric Whiteskin. Am I to assume you want Ignatia to go ahead and crush him like the pitiful insect he is?
"Please say yes. I want to see just how many peasants I can kill with a single fireball."