Part 1: Prelude: I Don't Think It's Possible To Die This Early Yet.

Prelude: I Don't Think It's Possible To Die This Early Yet.



Off we go...






I think every shitty Star Wars game since the beginning of time has felt obligated to copy the opening scroll from the movies...



...as well as the slow pan into space as a ship flies by.

Anyway here's the ship carrying the last Jedi in the whole universe.


Oh, that purple stuff doesn't look good at all.

This is the Ebon Hawk, last seen being flown around the galaxy by Darth Revan.


We're headed towards a sun with a crunchy outer candy coating.


Our valiant Jedi wakes up staring at the ceiling.


Tilting upright, we realize our Jedi has cyborg vision.



Oh wait, we're playing T3-M4 . T3-M4 is our resident R2-D2 ripoff, except he's 4000 years older and has more of an attitude.

Welcome to the tutorial. Nothing we do right now actually matters, and we don't get to keep any of the items we pick up, but it's a nifty little beginning to the game, and it has some FORESHADOWING™. So it's all good.








The door to the rest of the ship's closed, so we have to pick up some computer spikes and hack the computer.


The door to the main part of the ship opens.



Out in the main room, we hear a banging from the cargo area. T3 can't open this door though.

Did Revan shove Juhani in here and send the ship drifting into space?

We can only hope.



We find the dead old woman and loot a key card off her. She seemed to be the only human on the ship...






T3 is cool and all, but how does he climb that ladder?



Fortunately, T3 has superglue on his feet.



I guess we'll need to get that fixed eventually.

Revan use to keep his pod racer right where that gaping hole is.







Whoever planted mines on the hull of the Ebon Hawk obviously knew something we didn't.

No seriously, what are landmines doing outside the ship? They were planted on the off chance someone might step on them on the OUTSIDE of the ship?

T3 recovers the mines though and keeps them for later.



It's a new happy robot friend . Let's repair him.



We fix him up and get him to join the party. At this point I'd like to point out I took a look at this droid's dialogue file, and saw there was a whole branch of dialogue apparently aimed at X-Box Live users that never made it in . I have no idea what it means, but here's a sample:

Twee! Dree dee-deet dee?
What are you so cheerful about? We're going to die, you know.
Dreet teet doot-doo! Reet twee.
Idiot. I already know we have to go outside the ship.
Dwoo...

Reet-deet. Droot dee-reet. Twee?
Yes, I would love it if you would join me. Together we will fix the Ebon Hawk and save everyone!
Treet-dee dee!

(Obviously it was a draft of the script still left in the game, but judging from the "T3" responses, I can only conclude that the Exile was suppose to be in the tutorial at one point and not T3...)



A new improvement: security tunnelers work like lockpicks and help boost your security skill. I don't think they ever worked in KOTOR1.



Our mysterious Jedi lies in the medical bay unconscious.

We'll leave him/her alone for now.



Our security skill isn't high enough, so we plant the mine we found earlier into the door.











That was hard.




Time to head to the candy coated planet.







We're home free!



Oh wait.

Something's on board the ship; could it actually be Juhani in the cargo hold?

Oh shit.
...
Go check what that noise was.
No, YOU.



Looks kind a bit like everyone's favorite amnesiatic assassin droid, HK-47.



It's worth sitting through the tutorial just to see this badass moment at the end.





*sounds of droids being blasted*

Dwoooo....

To be continued...