The Mandalorians declare war on the Republic; the Jedi council, being sanctimonius pricks, officially refuse to involve themselves, and the war goes poorly for the Republic. Eventually a group of rogue Jedi led by Revan join the Republic fleet and the Mandalorians are finally defeated. In the process, Revan goes all Dark Side and seizes control of most of the Republic fleet, calling himself a Sith and beginning to fight the other Jedi. Eventually the Jedi Civil War ends with the Republic decimated, most of the Jedi in the galaxy dead, and Darth Revan vanishing into the unknown space...
During the course of the Let's Play we'll go through:
- The entire game without using a lightsaber on the Exile. Lightsabers are for pussies.
- All the weird NPC influence stuff that people probably missed.
- Oh, and I'll try to restore some of the cut content via text, where it makes sense to do so.
What's KOTOR II?
Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords was the sequel to the original game developed by Bioware. Obsidian Entertainment, made of remnant developers from the defunct Black Isle (and eventually a lot of guys from Troika), released the game in December 2004 after a 13 month development cycle.
It was worked on by the same people as Fallout, Icewind Dale, and most notably, Planescape Fucking Torment, so the pedigree made for an incredibly rich and mature take on the Star Wars universe. The writing was brilliant, the characters were extremely complex, and gameplay improvements were made to every aspect of the original KOTOR. In fact, the quality of the writing in this game makes me think of this game as Planescape Torment Part II.
Having basically the same plot helps too.
But wait, did I mention the 13 month development cycle? 1 year isn't exactly a lot of time to make a CRPG. Just mentioning KOTOR II these days nets extremely polarizing opinions, mostly from people who vehemently hate the game. The main reason is the missing content everywhere, some really shoddy level design, pacing problems, and one of the most legendary anticlimactic non-endings in the history of RPGs. A mod group called Team Gizka here has been working on restoring the lost content, but they've been taking like, years.
Cast of Thousands
- Jedi Jesus: Our Exiled Jedi hero. Lost his connection with the Force 5 years ago and has just recently returned to this galaxy.
- Kreia: Imagine Alec Guinness as a secretive, manipulative old bitch. Now, imagine him as a woman. Basically, she's your mother. Have you called your mother lately?
- Atton Rand: The obligatory Han Solo archetype. Hates droids, likes the ladies. Undecided on the droid ladies.
- T3-M4: Our R2-D2 knockoff. Revan picked up this utility droid back at the beginning of KOTOR 1 and he's back in this game. He knows everything and says nothing.
- G0-T0: The personal droid of crime lord Goto, sent to keep an eye on our little crew.
- HK-47: Everyone's favourite homicidal protocol droid is back. Unfortunately he's forgotten everything. Again.
- Mandalore: Leader of the Mandalorians and a badass in the Bruce Willis mould. And we're talking about the Sin City Bruce Willis, not the shitty Bruce Willis in that Mathew Perry movie. And Armageddon was pretty fucking terrible too.
- Bao-Dur: A Zabrak mechanic. Like Darth Maul, except not.
- Handmaiden: Former student of Atris, a Jedi. She's an albino who likes to punch things. If she had been a midget, it would have completed some magical trifecta.
- Visas Marr: Former apprentice to Darth Nihilus. You don't even have to stick a bag on her head; she already comes with one.
- Mira: Bounty hunter with a soft streak. If she wants anyone to start taking her seriously, she has to stop showing so much cleavage.
Table of ContentsPrologue
- Peragus - What's a Survival Horror Level Doing in Star Wars?
- Peragus - Jesus Looks for Pants.
- Peragus - Take Your Protein Pills and Put Your Helmet On
- Peragus - Jesus vs. Zombies
- Telos - Leaving Peragus Never Easy
- Telos - The Ballad of B-4D4
- Telos - Pimps, Strippers, and Murderers
- Telos - "Good to Have You Back, General."
- Telos - Let's Verbally Spar for 15 Minutes!
- Nar Shaddaa - Everyone and Their Grandmothers are Bounty Hunters
- Nar Shaddaa - Does a Butterfly Flapping its Wings Cause Thugs to Fall into a Pit?
- Nar Shaddaa - Cat Fight!
- Nar Shaddaa - "The Idea of You Fighting a Jedi is Ridiculous."
- Nar Shaddaa - The Evil Overlord List
- Nar Shaddaa - Domo Arigato, Mister Goto
- Nar Shaddaa - Operation Hot Mother
- Nar Shaddaa - The Hazing of Mira
- Nar Shaddaa - The Radical Revan Retcon
- Dantooine - The Life of a Mediocre Jedi
- Dantooine - A Snooty British Exposition Machine
- Dantooine - In Praise of Kinrath Assjuice
- Dantooine - Hey, We Were Running Low on Mines, Okay?
- Dantooine - Jump the Shark
- Dantooine - Money for Nothing, Chicks for Free
- Onderon - NO I Don't Want to Play Fucking Pazaak
- Dxun - Good Morning Vietnam
- Dxun - Forget the Jedi, How Do We Join the Mandalorians?
- Onderon - Department of Homeland Security
- Onderon - Say You Want a Revolution
- Onderon - Oh Captain My Captain
- Onderon - CSI Iziz
- Onderon - Colonel Mustard in the Library with the Candlestick
- Onderon - Let's Just Make Shit Up
- Dxun - The Truth About Cats and G0T0
- Korriban - Let's Play Jedi Academy!
- Korriban - The Tomb of Ludicrous
- Korriban - Beating Up Little Old Ladies
- Korriban - Darth Grumpyface
- Korriban - "All This Over a Helmet?"
- Dxun - The Tomb of Freedom Nads
- Onderon - "They Called Me Jesus. General Jesus."
- Onderon - God Save the Queen
- Ebon Hawk - 50 Ways to Kill Your Jedi, Part I
- Ebon Hawk - 50 Ways to Kill Your Jedi, Part II
- Dantooine - I'm Glad You All Voted to Save the Jedi Masters
- Telos - Easter
- Telos - Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing
- Telos - "HK-47, Please Shoot Me Repeatedly There Until I Die."
- Telos - Hot Robot on Robot S&M Action
- Telos - As if the First Visit to Citadel Station Wasn't Bad Enough
- Telos - Punch the Sith Lord
- Telos - The Puppy Holocaust
- Malachor V - I Believe in the Kingdom Come
- Malachor V - This is the Fight that Never Ends
- Malachor V - Kreia
- Malachor V - Because We Hate Endings