Part 34: Onderon: Let's Just Make Shit Up

As per your votes, we'll give our visa to the Republic spy first.





The game doesn't tell us the fate of these people on Onderon after we leave, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to write them myself.



With the Starport visa in hand, Xaart was able to book a flight out of Onderon and escape the long arm of General Vaklu. Ignoring the Jedi Exile's advice to go to Telos first to contact the Republic, he attempted the long journey to Coruscant instead, which ended diastrously in a freak accident involving a giant space Rancor and a faulty O-ring. Crashlanding on a nearby jungle planet, he lived off the land for several years before getting captured by the indigenous bush people and being crowned their king. Though the savages' belief that a red mane was a symbol of royalty kept Xaart from harm, he knew that his rapidly receding hairline would soon put him in mortal danger again, and so one day, he made one last attempt to escape. He was quickly recaptured. As he was being boiled into a delicious bisque, his last thoughts were, "I should have listened to the Jedi...".



Crime went on as always on Onderon. Sakarie remained at the centre of it all; the ability to keep one's head down was a valuable skill to have, and she was able to coast through the city's political troubles unharmed. However, the life of a criminal was often short, and she was not able to escape her eventual fate. It soon became clear that the original owners of her Qixoni crystal, a group of Jawa zealots from Tatooine, had tracked her down to Iziz to recover their stolen property. With no Starport visa to leave the planet with, Sakarie had to flee for her life. She was last seen holed up in an abandoned barn on the outskirts of Iziz, her pint-sized tormentors having completely surrounded the building. Witnesses heard a cry of, "You'll never take me alive!", shortly before the farmhouse was burned down. The renegade Jawas were held for questioning and released. No traces of Sakarie were found, but nobody looked very hard either.



Unable to obtain a Starport visa, Gormo remained stranded on Onderon. Soon after, his crew grew weary of waiting and left without him. With no ship and no crew, Gormo resigned himself to settling on Iziz permanently, but he found that his alien status gave him relative immunity to the city's constant political intrigue. He set up a successful repair shop, married a local Duros girl, and soon fathered two beautiful, bug-eyed Duros children. Still, he was never able to let go of his former life as the captain of a spaceship, flying amongst the stars, and on his deathbed he was heard to mutter, "Rosebud".



Spurned by the Exile, Tolas remained stationed near the gates of Iziz trying to obtain a Starport visa, with no success. As days turned to weeks, and anxiety turned to desperation, Tolas rounded up all the explosives and heavy firearms he could find and walked into the Iziz Customs Office, demanding a Starport visa. As it turned out, one of his grandchildren was suffering from a rare, fatal disease that could only be treated by an offworld medical procedure. The local authorities were not as understanding however, and after a 4 hour standoff, overzealous troops stormed the office, resulting in the deaths of Tolas and 6 other hostages. When the truth came to light several months later, the child was shipped off to Coruscant for the procedure by a mollified Onderon government. She was miraculously cured, but later died from a secondary infection caused by a forgotten scalpel left inside her during the surgery.



"I found an open starport visa in my travels. Here, it's yours."
"Thank the four moons for your kindness, off-worlder! I only wish I had some way to thank you. But my children and I will never forget your kindness!"





Visas isn't happy with this.

"By extending such kindnesses to others, you leave yourself vulnerable."





With the help of the Jedi Exile, Terlyn and her two young children fled Iziz just ahead of General Vaklu's troops. The journey to Alderaan was long, but the verdant planet seemed to provide the peace that Terlyn long sought. The happiness would not last however. Terlyn quickly remarried a local Gizka sausage vendor, hoping to secure landed citizenship status for her and her children. The new husband turned out to be extremely abusive, not an uncommon trait amongst workers in the Gizka industry, and soon Terlyn turned to alcohol in an effort to escape from her dead end existence.

One murder-suicide later, her children were orphaned, and the youngest one was taken in by a local cult who believed a giant space Rancor would soon come and consume the planet in its maw. He was never heard from again. The elder child however, grew up be a successful merchant, briefly being elected to the Republic Senate before flaming out in a scandal involving Twi'lek whores and several kilos of Kessel spice stashed under his swoop seat.



"I got the holodisks from Bakkel."

Ok, time to do the deed. This is the point of no return on this planet, but we've done everything there is to do here, so it's ok. Time to go meet Master Kavar.





Speaking of Kavar, there he is, along with Queen MC Hammer.



"Is this necessary? I can guarantee your safety in the Palace, but outside these walls the General has many men that would do anything for him."
"Nothing in life is certain, your majesty. But I feel something. There's a disruption in the Force. I must investigate this."
"Very well. But please... be cautious."
"Aren't I always?"





These two have totally been fucking like rabbits.



"I have my ways, Master Kavar."

A cantina is a great place to have a clandestine meeting. Noisy... conspicuous... full of random people who like to stand right in the middle as you're trying to have a conversation.



There's a backhanded complement if there ever was one.



As Vrook mentioned, Kavar felt compelled to join the war against the Mandalorians, but was restrained by his position on the Jedi Council. Of all the Jedi Masters, he should be the one who most empathizes with the decision that Revan and the Exile made to go join the war.



"I have my ways as well. Why are you here? I imagine that you hold little love for any on the Jedi Council any more, even an old friend."



This stupid Twi'lek just would not get out of the fucking way.

"You have to understand that it was a time of great uncertainly. We just learned that Darth Revan was back with an armada. Every Jedi that went with him was... lost, corrupted, and as dark as their Master. And then there was you. Many thought you were a spy."





That's Colonel Tobin speaking, not the Twi'lek.



"Get them, men. And watch your aim. Civilian casualties cause a mess of paperwork."



Great, thanks for the help Kavar.





Whatever companion you have will make a comment here. If they're evil, they'll want to shoot everyone in the cantina. If they're not psychotic, they'd want to keep that sort of thing to a minimum. Which is all moot, since you can't actually hurt civilians in here, or anywhere.



A script is suppose to fire to cause Kavar and Tobin to run out of the bar, but what's funny is sometimes one of the soldiers ends up here in between the tables and blocks both of them from leaving. They just stand around looking stupid after the fighting is over and you can't talk to them. Then Tobin's next script doesn't fire, and you get to reload. Fun!



Time to open up a can of-



Aww, we were just getting started.



"Appearances have to be maintained. And I'm afraid we don't have much time. You've helped out General Vaklu, and he understands how to show gratitude. We have allies, terrible allies. They want you dead. However, the General believes you could ultimately be an even greater ally. But we have to maintain appearances. Do you understand?"
"So you have to make a show of trying to capture me."
"Exactly. That way they are satisfied that we are still loyal to them. I assume you want to know more about our ally. There is little we know about him... or her, even. It's..."
"Who are you allied with?"



First mention of the Sith in like... 5 updates? What's the subtitle for this game again?

"You expect me to believe that's all you know?"
"What I have told you is true. We only deal with their intermediaries. We know it's a Sith Lord, but little else. We need your help..."
"Why tell me this?"
"The General believes we can make a new alliance that will be in both of our interests. Vaklu wants to control all of Onderon. And perhaps more, down the road. The Republic's time is nearly over, and strong men like him will rule the age to come. You have shown that you are strong, too, and he feels it inevitable that you become a force to be reckoned with."



"What assistance do you want?"
"We would send you a message. To your Mandalorian allies on the Dxun moon. We still need the Sith Lord to take care of a few things first. But after we've got what we need, then your assistance will be requested."
"What could you offer me?"



Ooo, we would get to loot the palace?



... is a friend of my friend? Still, you have to wonder who this mysterious Sith Lord is. Darth Sion? Darth Nihilus? Or someone else?

"How does this work then?"
"For now, it's simple. We have to act like you're our enemy. When you leave this cantina my men have orders to kill you. There is no way they could possibly stand up to you, but they don't know that. Leave Iziz and don't come back until we send a message for you. If the payment I've offered you is insufficient, I assure you General Vaklu himself can offer you a satisfactory deal."



The moment of truth. Incidentally, if you side with Queen Talia from the start and decline to eliminate the guard captains from earlier, this dialogue never takes place. Tobin will break up the meeting with Kavar and attempt to kill you outright. By siding with Vaklu initially, we delayed the decision to this point.



"You can trust his offer. He's far more capable than Queen Talia is, I think allying with him is the best course."



"Credibility is important in Onderon politics. If he betrayed you and betrayed the Sith, his reign would be a short one."

This isn't a lie. If we do side with General Vaklu, he does uphold his end of the bargain and gives you a fair shake. He's not a bad guy once he gets on your side. It does seem like we have to kill Master Kavar in the process though...

"I will not work with you."





Simplest option. We want to talk to Kavar after all, not kill him.





Well, it had to come to this. We've thrown our chips down on Queen Talia, but for now we have to get the fuck out of Iziz. We have time to say goodbye to everyone first, because we won't be seeing them again.



Goodbye, Lumpy.



And Mr. Cthulu too. Everyone in the bar has similar comments for you like this. Everyone except Kiph, the green Twi'lek hacker; he seemed to have disappeared during the melee.





From here on out it's a running firefight to the landing pad.

That's okay, because Mandalore is a raging axe murderer and slices through them like butter anyway.



"Command's ordered comm blackout. Do you know what's going on?"



"What? Why? That makes no sense. Command hasn't issued any alerts. Are you sure it wasn't some of those beast-riders slags? They've been getting bolder recently."
"It's broad daylight. They were wearing uniforms."
"You - you must be mistaken. Soldiers just don't attack civilians without orders. If it weren't for the comm blackout I'd check with command."





Oh please. Between Jesus and Mandalore they could probably take out an army.  And maybe later they will. 





What the-



Even Vaklu's civilian supporters are mobilizing. Of course they could be something more constructive with their time than going around attacking Jedi, even former ones.





Not even the merchants are willing to talk to us; it's really time to leave.







Say cheese!



And now the turrets are turning on us of their own volition.

This is a bit of foreshadowing, since it appears someone's overriding the security systems and setting them loose on us. It won't be a comfortable experience next time we return to Onderon.



Yes, agreed.



"No more trips to Iziz for us until the situation changes. A lot."







And we return safely back to Dxun.



You'll notice we had basically zero cut content for the duration of Dxun and Onderon. That's because there pretty much was none; I believe this was one of the first completed planets, and everything is pretty much finished here, down to the little details like the news holograms and the random street encounters. I'm not sure it had the density of people to properly convey the feeling of a big city, and there was definitely a ton of reused assets for the character models, but overall it's probably the most polished of the planets we'll visit.

We still haven't been able to speak with Kavar properly, so we'll be back there soon.