Part 11: Chapter Eleven: Alcohol can solve life's problem
Since I already sent the script to the editor, I will start giving better English name to those badly translated Chinese romanization to English sound-like word. You will know what I mean with those alcohols...Yes, the long awaited alcohol chapter is here!
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Part Eleven: Alcohol can solve life's problem
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Now that we have enough money for something, let it be alcohol!
Music: Luoyang Liquor Store
Nothing like a good old beer going down your throat after a good hunt.
Sir, if you want some liquor, please take a seat and I will be there for you soon.
Please take a seat, if you need anything just give the waiter a call, but please tell me if he does anything that dissatisfies you, and I, Mrs.Jade, will give him a good ol’ asskicking!
WAITER! HURRY UP AND SERVE THE CUSTOMER!
I like this place already.
1) Hmm, I will go look for a good seat.
2) No, I just want to purchase some alcohol.
3) I have some alcohol here for sale.
>>Choose #1
Yes sir! Right over here sir!
>>Choose #2
I would had translate Xi Feng Jiu to West Phoenix. For pete's sake, these do not justify the cool name in the Chinese version.
Yes? Would you like a drink?
1) Yeah, a little beverage would be fine.
2) Nah, I don’t want to.
>>Choose #1
Which drink would you like to order?
1) Du Kang
2) Fen Jiu
3) Xifeng Jiu
4) Baofeng Jiu
5) Jimolao Jiu
All of them of course.
Note: Unlike food, alcohol and tea cost money.
>>Choose Du Kang
Umm, wonderful, definitely the local best. To relax, only Du Kang. Good stuff!
Hahaha! You call that bowl of liquor good stuff? You must never have drank the real alcohol.
Why do you say this is not good, mister? Isn’t this the local special?
We both have Du Kang, but yours is plain and tasteless, smells good but is not tasty; unlike my special high quality age-old Du Kang over here.
Just so you know, making Du Kang without the water from Du Kang Village’s Nine Spring Mountain will not achieve the four key points of clear transparency, yielding fragrance, silk-soft taste and the attractive delightfulness for a second bowl.
I see, I see, you are right.
You feel very good
Your alcohol increased, it is now 10
>>Choose Fen Jiu
Ummmmm~~excellent liquor. Just as the poem goes: Ask where to find alcohol, and the children will point at Apricot Flower Village.
Hey kid, you know what’s good about the liquor from Apricot Flower Village?
This umm…please tells me, sir.
What’s great is the water quality. This village’s local underground water has legends about stallion braving through the stream, the deity of alcohol living in the well, and so Fen Jiu also has the title of wonderful beverage of clear spring.
You feel very good
Your alcohol increased, it is now 15
>>Choose Xifeng Jiu
Xifeng Jiu, what a beautiful name, I wonder why they call it Xifeng Jiu.
This liquor is made in Shaanxi, it is the home of the phoenix according to legend, and it is ancient enough to be recorded during Qin Dynasty and used for national parties during the Tong Dynasty.
So it’s related to the phoenix, no wonder it has such a beautiful name.
You feel very good
Your alcohol increased, it is now 20
>>Choose Baofeng Jiu
Ehh, this liquor seems to have some sort of special fragrance.
Is the smell of the lotus flower, kid. You can ignite a fire with this liquor, which results in the manifestation of an elegantly beautiful lotus shaped blaze, and the lotus-like vapor will spread out gracefully. So that’s the reason it’s also named the Lotus Liquor. Understand, kid?
You are very knowledgeable, sir.
You feel a little bit drunk.
Your alcohol increased, it is now 22
>>Choose Jimolao Jiu
Wha-what is this liquor? So dark and black, can I even drink this? Waiter, did you make a mistake? Don’t give me leg washing water like this.
DID I HEARD A CUSTOMER REQUESTING ME TO GIVE THE WAITER SOME ASSKINGING?
Ahhhh! No! No! That's...
Ignorant kid, doesn’t even know about Jimolao Jiu.
Sir, you mean this…liquor, why is it so black?
This liquor is produced in Jimo city where it's located near the Mount Lao’s ink-like water. The brewing of Jimo Jiu has been recorded long since the spring and autumn period. The liquor’s shiny black form contains beneficial properties that strengthen bones, stomach, and spleen, which is why it is nick named the skeleton liquor.
Skeleton liquor? Then I would become a skeleton if I drink it. Maybe I should avoid this.
This liquor is rare; you should be grateful and feel really lucky to be able to drink one of these.
You feel a little bit drunk.
Your alcohol increased, it is now 22
Your hardness increased, it is now 2
Woo~~Great liquor.
Seeing the way you drink, you look like a pro.
Hehe, well said. I, Drinker Yang known Du Kang for at least 20 years, although I can't call myself a pro, I do learned a few knowhow of, so are you interested in hearing some of my art of alcohol?
Please do, sir.
Speaking of alcohol, it has many benefits like raise awareness, relaxation, restore stamina. For example, if your body is over exhausted, a cup of yellow soup to your belly and you will feel refreshed and clear; also, alcohol fortifies the body and improve courage as the more you drink, the sturdier you are.
It’s helpful for martial art practitioner, especially for certain kung fu like the Drunken
Fist that will require it to reach it’s full potential.
Also we will just buy Jumolao Jiu because there’s no I.D. boost after the alcohol lecture and vice-versa. (No hardness boost either where we drink it)
By that logic, the more I drink the better?
No.
Alcohol is good for drinking, but not to get drunk with . If you are drunk, then you can’t control yourself and will mess things up, just like eating way too much, drinking too much will not do, and must be cautious of this.
But I’m still too weak against it, which I probably will get more negative out of it.
That's fine, alcohol is trainable skill.
How do I train it?
Repetition via attribution.
Repetition?
If you drink frequently, your appetite for it will increase and drinking various kind of alcohol will speed up the process.
I see, thanks for the lecture, Mr.Yang.
Hehe, it's nothing.
Let’s go to the kitchen since last time worked so well.
Kid, this kitchen is for personnel only.
Ma’am, please continue what you doing, I won’t disturb you.
You look about the same age as my kid Liang.
You have a son, ma’am?
Yeah..too bad he can’t be as jumpy as you.
What happened to him?
My kid is always sick and usually needs lots of herbs just to keep him alive…I’m sorry…my tears just start running every time I think about it.
Don’t feel too bad ma’am.
Plus the fact that there aren't any nourishing fish in stock, it just worries me sick.
Nourishing fish? What are those?
The Red Carp of course. This fish is similar to the normal Carp except its scale is dark red and brilliantly shiny with appetizing meat, it is a rare supplement.
Red Carp?
Yes, kid. If you know anyone that sells this, I beg you, please tell me.
(I wonder where I can find Red Carp)
I have things to do, no time to keep your company.
God speed! Jesus! Where are you going to find some Red Carp?
Brilliant! We can ask the fishermen!
Kid! Why do you keep pestering me!?
Except that he is a dick.
1) Sir, did you catch all those fish yourself?
2) Nothing, just looking.
3) Nothing, just have a bottle of liquor here for you.
>>Choose #1
Go away, don’t bother me and spoil my alcoholaxation.
>>Choose #3
>>Give Jimolao Jiu.
Liquor! Hurry! Let me have a taste of it!
Listen kids, don’t become an alcohol
Hmmmmmm…excellent Jimolao Jiu, it won’t shame the name of the spring it came from!
Good kid, you even know my preferable taste.
It's good that you like it.
Oh, Jesus' indirectly bribing skill is excellence.
Is there something you need my help with, which is why you bring me this wonderful liquor?
It's not really a big problem, I’m just wondering if Mr. East can teach me a few tricks about fishing. *sneaky*
That’s easy, just for this liquor, I will give you some hints. First, you have to understand the habit of the fish, let’s use the river in the forest as an example…
Grass Carp like to hang around low near the shallow level aquatic plants.
Green Carp like to hide near the rock and boulders.
And then there is this very rare fish called the Red Carp. Unlike the other carps, the whole body is red because it likes to eat red worms, and loves to play in areas with quick river flow, so it’s not as easy to catch, especially for the amateur.
So each type of fish has its own habitual location.
If you follow my way, you will definitely be able to get the fish you want. However, that’s only if you can pull it out of the water.
That’s easy, I'll just pull with all my strength.
Hmpf, why don’t you give that a try, I bet your line will snap and the fish will get away.
Then…then how do I pull it up?
In fishing, the trick of pulling and releasing is the hardest to comprehend. Since I’m in a good mood today, I will teach you a bit more.
Thank you Mr.East.
When the fish is hooked, you would think of pulling it up, but the longer you pull, the stronger the fish try to resist, and that’s where the line will easily snap.
So you must pull a bit, release a bit. Another thing to be cautious about is to not hurry yourself to pull it again after you release it, because the fish is just about to turn back and the impatient pulling will cause a sudden pain to the fish, which make it go wild and is usually the cause of the line snapping. But also don’t release it too long or the fish will escape.
You see why I hate fishing now?
Okay, Jesus…you can do this.
Next time: A fish’s tale.
(Bah, run out of time to make the fishing part)