Part 38: Chapter Thirty-Nine: Drunken Resolution
This chapter is made while I am slightly under the influence.---------------------------------------------------------------
Part Thirty-Nine: Drunken Resolution
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Music: Battle Theme
Everyone, today is our once-in-a-decade Young Hero Tournament, I thank you all for your participation. The goal of this tournament is to provide the younger generation with a chance to deepen their experience and broaden their kung fu insight and skills.
I say they just want to see us fight to the death!
No, it’s YOU die and I stay alive!
Hmph! Two idiots who don’t know their places!
What did you say!
Everyone please settle down, and let me finish my speech. This tournament will employ two tests.
The first tests your wits and knowledge with eight consecutive rooms each containing a question. The top ten contestants who pass the test in the shortest amount of time will progress into the next stage and will be seeded according to how fast they passed the test.
Each room will have a statement that is either true or false and you have to proceed through either the right door (“True”) or the left door (“False”). If you answer incorrectly, you are diverted into a sub-challenge room with five more questions to solve and you can’t return to the main challenge area until you get five consecutive answers. Time is of the essence in this match, so everyone should try to solve it in the shortest amount of time to be able to get a higher ranking and better seeding.
Tl;dr: Solve right or wrong question. Get it right eight times and we are out with a rank based on the time we used to solve the questions and have to fight everyone higher-ranked than you consecutively without stopping to win.
Haha! Such easy questions can’t stop me.
Look at the thing that loves to lie!
Enough! Please stop the quarreling! I am now announcing the beginning of the test, so everyone please enter the cave.
Well, as the judge said, go to the left door if you think the answer is “False” and go to the right door if you think the answer is “True”.
The questions can be anything range from tea to stuff you won’t know on the first playthrough like what stat the carefree sword style used.
Luoyang is not the city that produces Dragon Well Tea so we go to the “wrong” door….hold on.
The more error you get, the lower your rank is, so the more people you get to beat up legally. Oh ho ho ho ho ho!
But then Jesus’s extremely intelligent brain complained.
Sheesh, brain, stop trying to be logical and protective of us. We adults totally know what we are doing!
Okay, you want negotiation? How about we sit down for a beer?
Go sleep for awhile, Mr. Brain, and let hormones and animal instincts takes control for the next few hours.
You are very drunk.
And we are stuck here at the sub-challenge room with Jesus’ brain failing to translate the questions into English.
Translator’s Note: Three lotus flowers have bloomed in the garden of the Jiang family mansion in Luoyang City.
Charge to the circle~~run in the circle~~trap in the circle~~la~la~la
The sub-challenge room seems to count for a certain amount, so Jesus got out at rank five.
The rest got out pretty late…sucks to see the next generation lacking so much brain power.
It is done; the first stage of testing is over. Now the top ten participants will proceed to the second stage of this tournament while the rest are eliminated. Now I will announced their names......Jesus of the Carefree Valley ranked number five, so he must fight five consecutive battles to win.
Note: For a normal player, these five consecutive battles will be their hardest battle so far.
First up is the Kongtong sect guy charging his
Jesus retaliates by punching out his guts and causing lots of censored black bars to appear.
Jesus of the Carefree Valley won, advancing to the next fight.
Watch this!
Nix Summer swinging his saber wildly at Jesus.
Envious of his six pack abs, Jesus also flexes his arm...
...and blasts him off the cliff.
Jesus of the Carefree Valley won, advancing to the next fight. Someone please throw a rope down for that poor guy.
Watch this!
I was expecting Wudang to be epic ninja powerful, but just a slash?
Get out! We don’t need weaklings, if you want to see your ancestor so much, you are flying to it.
Jesus of the Carefree Valley won, advancing to the next fight. My god, someone chase him down before he disappears into the clouds!
My turn!
Ah, slash and piercing are pretty beastly.
BUT IT’S NOT A MANTIS!
Jesus of the Carefree Valley won, advancing to the next rank. Just leave him stuck in the forest, he need to learn the difference between beasts and insects.
Here I come.
Ah…our drinking friend in the last battle…
Translator’s note: The lesson to be learnt is that drinking makes you strong.
Let's go all out!
FOR FRIENDSHIP!
FOR HONOR!
FOR FAME!
“…and the last word we heard from his near unconscious friend is: FOR ALCOHOL!” – Prophet Nyaa
Looks like this year’s winner is born, and that is Jesus of the Carefree Valley! Congratulations for winning the young hero tournament, now please come in to select the prize with me.
Now please select the one of these six bags for your prize.
Jesus only gives dot dot dot choice, so I will add the size of the item to make it more fun to choose. All prizes are good stuff, but some are obviously better than others.
Translator’s note: It might be interesting to also give them the hanyu pinyin of the prizes. I’ve added them to the list above.
Author’s Note: Oh fine, it seem google search will fail them hard anyway.
1) Normal size bag (Ri Yue Shen Gong Wu Xue Mi Ji)
2) Large bag (Jin Chan Bao Yi)
3) Medium large bag (Sui Yu Dao)
4) Very large bag (Qi Tian Gun)
5) Normal size bag (Wu Xue Bao Dian)
6) Tiny bag (Shi Quan Da Bu Wan Wu Ke)
Potential Avatar of the Day
What do you mean “the bear kidnapped the mantis guy?”
The bird watches the bear retuning to his cave.