Part 18: How I learned to stop worrying and love the Downstab. Part III

How I learned to stop worrying and love the Downstab. Part III

This is it! Mario and Downstab will battle it out for the possession of the Triforce!


Why do you even need the Triforce?
No reason, just to piss you off. Let's fight, bitch.

Mario and Downstab ready themselves when...


Is that... Locke Cole?

Hey guys, I'm here to let you know that every goddamned video game character is watching this. Even that furry, Master Chief is tuning in. We want a goddamn good fight. If this turns out good, maybe Square-Enix might give me my own spinoff series like that dick, Vincent.

Sound good, Downstab?
Uh, k.

And you, Mario?
Okie Dokie.

Alrighty then! Let's GET IT ON.

I'm fucking outta here.

The Mortal Kombat begins.

They lunge at each other!
Ya know, I've gotten stronger since they've made me go sideways.
Don't brag. I'm already on my second sequel.

Downstab stabs and misses!

Let's see you jump this high, Downstab.
Oh I can, don't feel like it.

Oof! Forgot you attack by jumping.
No shit. Have you ever played any of my video games?

You've gotten better since the earlier days.
I had a secret...

Another lunge at each other! What may happen?

Oh snap! Mario just kicked Downstab in the face!

Shit, where did you learn that?
I underwent some training with Little Mac and that black guy.

They taught me a few things about fighting.

:chef: Did they ever teach you anything about... Magic?

:mario: Wait, what? Where the fuck did you go?

:chef: Hizzah!

:mario: Mama Mia! What the hell was that?
:chef: Farore's Wind. Let's me transport. Can only use it once. You're lucky and you won't see it again.

:chef: Hah! You're tiny! I got the upper advantage.
:mario: You forget I'm just as capable in this form as any other.

:mario: Watch and learn!

Bam! Mario just laid it on Downstab and kicked him into the wall.

:chef: Aaah!

:mario: I can still kick like any other.

:chef: Then I might as well show you my ultimate move, if you're so coy.
:mario: Bring it, bitch.
:chef: You asked for it.

:mario: Oh yeah?
:chef: Hell yeah.

:aaa:

Downstab just summoned his 16-bit counterpart!

:mario: How... the... hell... did you... do that?
:chef: There's like 5 different Downstabs in my franchise. You gotta be diverse.
:mario: I never would have expected... Is this how my legacy ends?
:chef: I truly am the superior franchise.

How will I kill him? Oh yes, of course...

Gonna downstab his ass to oblivion.

This is it...

Does it finally come down to this?


Oh, how long it's been since that day...


I remember leaving that very castle...

The first time I saw action...

Visiting the towns...

The magic...

Error...

Heart power!

Horsehead McGee...

What the hell kind of name was Bagu?

I'll never date a magician again...

Nor will I speak out loud, because I sound retarded.

My handy Powerglove.

Helmethead Sanders. Crazy boss.

Those Light Warriors were pussies.

I hate Death Mountain

I got a trusty ol' hammer out of it...

My namesake...

Leonardo. I won't miss you.

I wonder what the hell Pit was doing here.

Damn Soviet invasion.

I killed Iron Knuckle and his wife. I hope they're happy in Heaven :unsmith:

I journeyed to the new world.

Obtained the upstab.

Saved the baby.

Killed Carock after the Christmas party.

The Goon base...

Resurrecting some building.

Sorry Luigi, I have to do this.

All that work for a cross.

Oh Barba...

The most powerful magic.

I traveled the lava.

Made it alive to the Great Palace...

Fought some crazy ass enemies.

Dispatched Thunderbird...

And my own shadow...



:chef: SEE YOU IN HELL, MARIO!


:aaa:


...






...


:chef: Oof!

What the hell was that?

All of the sudden, who else would show up...


It's 8-bit Phoenix Wright!

:objection: Downstab. I'm here to stop you from making a terrible mistake!
:chef: Says who? What do you know about this?
:objection: This war is as pointless as the current generation's console war! You've got nothing to fight for?


:chef: You're pissing me off, Phoenix. What would you know about franchises?
:objection: Enough to know that my franchise will never be as popular as yours. I've got a fucking cult following for crying out loud! The only people who buy my games are freaks! I've been put into my own hentai game!
:chef: Oh. _{That's kind of hot, actually...}
:objection: Kill Mario, and you destroy everything. It's not worth it.

:chef: Yeah, well... We did have some good times.
:objection: I think you need to make up for what you've done.
:chef: hmm...

:chef: Hey Mario. Sorry I tried to kill you.

:chef: Here's a mushroom, on the house.

:mario: Thanks. Sorry I didn't invite you to Mario Kart.
:chef: Yeah, well... I probably wouldn't have fit in anyways.
:mario: I guess. Anyways, you want your Triforce back?
:chef: I'd like that.

:mario: There it is. Take it to Zelda.

:chef::mario: Thanks, Phoenix. You're not so bad, afterall.
:objection: Just doing my job.

And so... Downstab took the Triforce and headed back towards Hyrule. Mario and Phoenix went back to their homes. Locke, destroyed by the horrid ratings, was let go from Square-Enix the next day. Perhaps someday he'll regain his composure.

And as for Downstab...


He's got the Triforce, and ready to revive Zelda.

There they are! The three of them. Power, Courage, and Wisdom.

Magics!

She's awake!

Aww...

That's the best thanks I can get for saving the land.

The curtains lower.

:quagmire::quagmire::quagmire:

That's the end of our story :unsmith:

There go the curtains.

Back up they go!

Here are the credits. H. Yamauchi, he's our main guy.

Miyahon?

Who are these guys?

Do they only have one name? :psyduck:

Whoever this guy is, I wanna give him thanks for some awesome music.

They spelled programmer wrong :laugh:

More programmers.

And Nakazoo!

:patriot:

And the game resets.

The Triforce disappears...

And we're back to the title screen.

Downstab now has a little Triforce next to him.

Will we ever see Mario again? Who knows, maybe in the not-so-distant future...


WAIT, WHAT?



:aaaaa::aaaaa::aaaaa::aaaaa::aaaaa:


That's the end of this Let's Play thread. :unsmith:

Shit, I need a beer. That took a lot.

Anyways, I want to give out a few thanks:
thedarkid - If it weren't for your Resident Evil 4 thread, I wouldn't have had the motivation to make this one as crazy as I did.
slowbeef - Thanks for your tutorial on making Let's Play movies. That was fun.
Slybo and everyone that contributed to the Goon Base - I was glad to relive it, and I couldn't have done it without you guys.
And lastly...
Everyone who read this thread, voted 5, and commented on it. Seriously. I wouldn't have had the motivation to continue posting it if it weren't for you guys. I'm taking a break from the Let's Play threads for a little bit.

 None of you shits better do Super Mario World. I'll kill you if you do.