Part 182: BCP 11 - Fairy FestivalX-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?
Episode 11: Fairy Festival
Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Fairy Festival!
Fairy Festival is another ZAYIN Abnormality, this time taking the form of a large winged fairy.
I don't suppose we have another volunteer, do we?
Not so lucky today, Paul. You're going to be working with this one yourself.
That's perfectly okay, Miss Hod! I was itching to get right back to it!
Speaking of itching hey! This thing just bit me!
That will happen from time to time when working with any Abnormality. Don't worry about it. Now like most ZAYIN Abnormalities, Fairy Festival is very simple. It has one ability, which activates so long as the agent working with it gets a Normal or Good result.
Miss Hod! I think I figured out the effect! These fairies are following me around, and they're healing my wounds!
Very good, Paul! That's the Fairies' care. They'll stay with the agent who worked with them for a short while and make sure to keep them well by healing up their HP.
Fantabulous fair folk, Miss Hod! That's awful nice of them! Why do they do that?
Good question, Paul! Some people say that it's because they appreciate the kindness we show them, and others think they only attach to special agents who've caught their eye.
So these fairies think I'm awful swell how touching!
They certainly do think you're worth sticking with. However, it's important not to believe in what 'some people say.'
The ignorant masses are called that for a reason, right Miss Hod?
Right! To find the true meaning of their care, we have to do something else. Paul, could you please queue up a work with another Abnormality while the manager's put the facility on pause?
Will that do it, Miss Hod?
It sure will. Now, let's watch what happens when our time resumes.
Yowie wowie! That death was instant, and brutally painful!
Let that be a lesson that you can't just believe every rumor that an employee comes up with! The Fairies that follow our agents are making sure to keep their food fresh, Paul-and you're that food.
So our agents are just tasty treats for even the lowest level of Abnormality!
Very good! Since this only happens to people who get orders to start work with another Abnormality while the Fairies are with them, this type of casualty is thankfully rare. Regardless, it's an important thing to keep in mind, even if you don't see it that often.
Like the mandatory counseling program and the emergency turrets in the walls?
Yes, Paul. Just like those! Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember
Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!
Good evening, future Managers. Ah, I suppose you're wondering why I have this sifter of wine? Apparently, our first death happened during the last work period.
If I didn't already know this was a script, the entire thing would still seem farcical on the face of it all. I executed the entire first day's workforce just to see if anything would change. It didn't. No reaction at all. A shame, really. I suppose I should have added a more interactive component to things in the design phase
Well, that's not why you're here, is it? Angela, the graphics.
Fairy Festival is as simplistic as it is boring. So long as you follow its one rule, which is anything but difficult, it will never cause any trouble. Its gear can be accurately described as "plentiful," but the weapon itself is only barely better than our standard issue Riot Stick, and as a ZAYIN suit its promising defenses will fall off against any HE or greater threat. It has the distinction of being the best Instinct trainer in the entire ZAYIN level but that is honestly damning it with the faintest possible praise. ZAYIN Abnormalities are not designed for training. Their box counts are too low, and they cannot deal enough damage. It may serve a purpose training the absurdly new before they move on to something more promising like Punishing Bird or that cursed armor but to be quite honest, it's another safe pick like WellCheers before it.
And come, now. I'm sure that you didn't get to this high position by playing it safe all the time, did you? We've all got quite the penchant for risk-taking around here.
Ah! That reminds me, it's time to water my cactus. Angela maintains that there's no way it'll bloom-or so the script makes her say-but I feel as though I've been challenged to prove myself wrong. You know I never did find out who gave it to me. A mystery for you to solve, perhaps. For now, this old man shall cease his ramblings.
Next time's featured Abnormality