Part 15: Lessons About Self-Esteem
All right, we're here at Zigan's forest. We actually haven't been here before, not counting the pointless preliminary exploration. So yay, new dungeon!
Which is what I would say if every single dungeon in this game wasn't boring and samey. Seriously, I'm starting to long for brown caves.
Look, more Unknowns.
Oh, and I got this from some snake thingies. It casts a lightning spell. Neat.
And that's pretty much it for this dungeon. It's only a single screen.
And the boss here starts with zero dialogue.
The fight really isn't too hard. Characters other than Ellie have a hard time doing any damage to Zigan (as shown here) but it only has a regular attack that doesn't do that much damage.
It takes a long time, but the fight ends without any difficu-
Ellie...! Let's get out of here...!
So, uh, if you're confused as to what just happened, don't worry, so am I. I mean, as far as I can tell I did beat that fight; the monster disappeared and I got experience. But... he's not dead (which you'll see later) and Winn passed out and we're in trouble? Lunar-net's walk-through for this part says "Attempt to fight Zigan. Soon enough, [Winn] will get knocked unconscious and Lena will yell for them to escape." Which suggested that this is supposed to be an unwinnable fight. Maybe?
Oh, and Winn is having another weird dream.
And for whatever reason there's no character portraits here. I'm gonna add them anyway, but just so you know.
... Does this have something to do with that power the Vile Tribe said was buried within me? ...No, it can't be....
...there's only one way to be sure. Uh... Lena... honey?
....how's it... uh, swinging. ... ...sugar butt?
Oh, you silly billy!
Yeap. Definitely dreaming.
Now, come on you guys. Dinner's getting cold!
... ... ...you know what, I'm here, I might as well enjoy this. So yes, dear, I'd love to have some-
That's... Lena's voice... I've got to...
You were muttering in your sleep or something! You even stutter in your sleep. How do you DO that?! It's kind of weird, you know? Well, we should get back to the principal's office for now.
H-huh? It was just a dream...
Huh? What was just a dream?
What's the matter?
It, uh, it was just a dream about... pie.
Oh you have those too?
Well, I think they bought it. Man, I've got to better about talking to myself.
... ... ... ...uh-
Anyway, let's just hope Steele's finally in his office.
"You'll be able to beat him eventually."
Come ON! Again?! Seriously, this just happened! So he just dashed off a quick note and ran off?! Why?! What is his problem?!
Wow... you're really, really mad.
Yes. Yes I am. Because this is stupid. Why is he doing this.
Yeah, it's dumb. Super dumb. But you know what, complaining about it isn't going to do anything. So let's just read the stupid letter.
"Please come to Professor Glen's house. Steele."
I'd rather stay with you, Lena... But I'll go.
.....um. You know, after Barua, this is might be in bad taste-
I'm going to stop you there.
... ... ...probably for the best. Still... Just Winn, huh? Something smells fishy...
You seem kind of interested in him!
What? No! Geez, I'm not allowed to be concerned about a friend?
We just met him a few days ago. Also, you're you.
You're a bitch.
And so are you. Come on, are you going to tell me that you've not noticed that he follows you around like a lost puppy? You must like him a little bit if you haven't told him to buzz off yet.
Well, okay, maybe a little.
But he needs more self-confidence, you know?
I mean, whatever happened to that swagger he had when we first met him.
He was being possessed. And also destroying stuff.
Yeah, that was cool, wasn't it?
...yeah okay I'm just going to drop this topic.
Will I ever get another glimpse at that...? Hopefully without having to pass out in front of her first.
Future-gazing is off limits!
That's right. Do as your teacher says, Winn!
What!? How do you know about the future? Wait, wait, I was seeing into the future, then? Wait, how do you know that? How do you know it was-
So, uh, this is new. This was NOT in any previous Lunar game, or even remotely hinted at. So, uh, the Lunar universe has Time Lords now, I guess. Okay I don't really know what Time Lords are, I've seen like two episodes of Doctor Who and I wasn't really paying attention to them, but this is my LP and I'll call 'em Time Lords if I wanna.
I am unbelievably confused.
We seek out and destroy that which might disrupt the flow of time.
Spoken like a pro! Well done, lad!
I've been doing this for some time now, you know...
...I'm still confused.
...my name is Winn.
Oh- oh! Terribly sorry. I had a former student named Wing. Got a bit confused.
Wasn't Wing the boy that exploded?
Ah yes... tragic.
But we're getting off-topic. You too have the ability to become a Guardian of Time! Please, Winn, use your powers to...
Ack!! How did you...
Sir, this is highly inappropriate-
Don't care! Dang it, I don't get out much, I need me some gossip! Spill it kid!
Uh, well, Lena is... she's a girl I know... she's a- she's... someone I-
You haven't gotten anywhere with her have you?
You know, right now? You don't stand a chance with her.
But... I saw the future...!
The future we see is far from certainty! We have to work to make it happen.
I just don't get it! What should I do, Professor!?
I thought you'd never ask! It isn't THE future, it is A future. Become a Guardian Time, and with some tutelage, all will be made clear.
Did you just say "Guardian time?"
Don't interrupt me, boy. For now, you lack confidence in yourself. Lena will not stand by someone so weak.
If you become a Guardian of Time, you'll gain confidence, my lad!
Hee hee hee! Be a Guardian, and you'll be swimming in bitches!
Sir, NOT APPROPRI-
Come on, he's getting to that age where there's only one thing on boy's mind...
W- with all due respect, I don't really wanna be "swimming in..." uh, women. I just want Lena to like me.
...you're really sheltered, aren't you, boy?
Can we please get back on topic?
Just remember boy. Swimming in bitches!
Now, first to seal away your visions of the future...
One all-purpose screen flash later...
There. That should do it.
That was quick! Alright, next! Go beat up the master of the MAN'S Dungeon.
What!? Th-there's no way I'd ever--
This is your chance to show Lena how manly you really are!
I-If you say so...
Sir, I cannot condone this!
What? I just offered him a tip or two.
It might get him killed! I don't need to have another pair of parents clamoring for my head.
See, this is why I don't work with the public.
This part of the script really wasn't proof-read very well.
He'd dig through a mountain if he thought it'd help.
I must still question your motives!
Oh, don't be such a fuddy-duddy. It doesn't suit you.
Ugh. If you say so...
Wow, Winn's been gone for some time.
I know. I can't believe it's been days.
It... it hasn't been days.
Did we just wait here this whole time?
I don't think so. That letter on Steele's desk looks new.
Oh crap it does.
"Enter the MAN'S Dungeon and take care of it. So long as Winn is with you, you should be okay. Steele."
The MAN's Dungeon, huh? Say, where is Winn, anyway? Slacking off, I bet!
Seems kinda harsh. It's only been 30 minutes.
I do- I don't know! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE
SPACE IS WARPED AND TIME IS BROKEN-
I mean hi Winn.
We've got to go to the MAN'S Dungeon!
Why do you guys keep yelling?
Mr Iason insisted that the word "man" in MAN'S dungeon must be "pronounced and spelled with all caps" at all times. He lectured me for about an hour about it.
Uh, more important question...
Hey, how did you know about that?
Actually that is a good qu-
Guess it doesn't matter! C'mon, let's go see Professor Iason.
Why did you bring it up then?!
Oh come on. Didn't you already get beaten up for this chapter?
We're not here for you, anyway.
You're here... to pick on Winn?
...don't you guys have hobbies or something?
YOU'RE going to attempt the MAN'S Dungeon? That's a laugh! Why not just go play house instead? You can be the mama!!
No... I'm... I'm...
Dammit, Winn! Stand up for yourself, already!
You can blow up towns, boy! Make them regret the day they decided to mock you!
I- I don't want to hurt anyone!
...I miss Senia. Look, if you're not going to ice these fools...
You could tell these wusses off if you really wanted to!
Wusses!? Screw this! You'll soon see just how girly you really are!
"Wusses" is what set him off?
Skin of tissue paper, seriously.
Anywho. The MAN'S dungeon. Except we can actually explore it this time.
Although "explore" is a bit strong of a word to use. There's four descending ladders on the first floor, but they all go to the same place. This cave looks like there's a ton of branching paths, but everything leads to the same place. No treasure or anything.
I only got into two battles the entire time. The other battle consisted solely of those goblin-ish enemies (called Bigfoot. I don't know either).
And apparently the monster we're looking for is... just a dude?
Scratch that. It's a furry. I guess.
Like the last boss, all this thing can really do is hit one character kinda hard. At this point Winn's gained enough levels that this isn't worth worrying about.
Turns out becoming a MAN isn't that hard at all. Who knew?
It's not like we didn't help!
No, no, I'm sorry, Ellie beat Gear. She was doing the brunt of the work. YOU helped US beat Gear.
I'm not... I'm not...
Trying to take all the credit? Sounds like you were, chief.
You don't understand! Since I beat Gear, that means I'm strong... And...
That's why I did this! Because of you Lena, I...
What ABOUT me!? I hate it when guys just can't get to the point!
And from there we-
Jump to Ellie, Lena, Stella, and Emma gossiping about boys. This chapter jumps around a lot, if you've noticed.
Think it's true?
Does a moggle shi-
You don't say! Winn's nice and kind of cute, and he does know some very strong magic. I wholeheartedly approve! I mean, I was worried she'd get with Ant.
Oh don't even joke about that.
Lena hasn't caught on yet though, has she?
Ugh! Why is everyone talking about Winn? Also, I'm right here! Come on. What's so special about him...?
I mean, I'd be lying if I said I didn't like him, but... He's just so insecure!
So, uh, why are we talking about Winn again?
Oh. And how are your classes doing, ladies?
So, uh, about Winn...
Oh, uh, hi Winn. So what brings you-
I overheard Lena and a couple others talking about me but she was annoyed but then she said she liked me but then she said I lacked confidence but on the other hand-
Ho ho! Breathe, boy, breathe. So, she's admitted she likes you?
But she said I didn't have any confidence!
...but she's already said she liked you?
But she's so mad that I'm not very manly!
You did beat Gear, right?
I did, but Lena got mad when I said I did.
She said Ellie deserved more credit than me. I- she was kind of right? She did more damage.
...you were... supposed to do that on your own.
Wh- wha? I couldn't have done it on my own!
But doing it on your own was what was supposed to be so MANly about it.
Finally! I thought you'd never reach this point! I'll summon some monsters, and you'll fight them and train! How 'bout it? They're pretty tough, but if you beat them, I think you'll be more confident!
I'll give it a try!
And remember, you have to do it on you own for it to- oh, I don't think he heard me. Oh well, he's a smart kid. He'll get it.
And once again we abruptly jump to
Huh? That sounded like Winn!!
Let's go check it out!
Wait, he didn't say he'd bring them HERE-
L-Lena... You came to help, huh?
And just what are you doing?
Wait, were did the other imp go?
Think it ran off crying.
Yer damn right it did.
But you know, I feel a lot stronger than I used to!
I've got it! Time to redeem our pride!
Let's go smash Zigan!
Why do you think we can do it now when we couldn't do it earlier?!
We did do it earlier!
I know we did!
But then Winn passed out and Zigan ran away. I believe you were there.
But he passed out AFTER we beat the monster. This doesn't make any-
...Lena, do you ever feel like our lives are just going in circles?
Do you know what'll make all of us feel better?
Is it beating Zigan?
It's beating Zigan.
Come on, Winn!
Heeeey kids, you know how that short, pointless dungeon with that piss-easy boss fight added so much to this game? Let's just do it again. No real change. Just... a completely transparent recycle.
...maybe Iason will cheer us up, now that we've passed his test of manliness.
Gear should be calm for a little while, at least. Way to earn your scholarships! I hereby confer upon each of you the title of "True MAN!"
Hey, I'm a LADY! I'm quite demure!
I dunno, we do have this "Manliness" here, which means we have to be true men.
It's pronounced "MEN!"
Well maybe you can just keep that... trophy or whatever that is to yourself, because I'm a goddamn delicate flower of a lady!
All right, let's get this over with.
Even for the rematch, there's no dialogue preceding the fight.
Seriously, why make us do this twice?
There! Now those losers won't be able to badmouth you any more.
Ahh! That was refreshing!
Lena, you're strong!
What are you mumbling about? Let's go!
Oh, please wait! I'm getting stronger...! Lena... Hey Lena!!
That seals it. My life is stuck in a loop.
Well, my boy, did it work?
I tried so hard, but Lena didn't notice me at all!
Even those you managed to defeat two imps single-handedly? She's a hard lady to impress!
I, uh, didn't beat those imps by myself.
Also, one of them ran away, so-
Whew... Quite the spot of bother, this! Let's see, what else can we dream up, hmm?
Sir, is it odd that sometimes it feels like... like everything is repeating itself?
Don't worry about it, lad. Time is an illusion after all. Now, let's concentrate on how to impress girls.
Oh, well thank fuck that's over with.