Mega Man Battle Network 2 Part #36 - THIS IS THE UPDATE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

Part 36: THIS IS THE UPDATE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

Trust me when I say that even if you don't yet know it, this is the update you've been waiting for!

_{I'm kind of nervous actually (BESIDES MY ACTUAL GENERAL ANXIETY CONDITION DO HO HO (but I'm still getting better, thanks again to everybody who wished me well)). Not sure if I'll be able to do this great part of the game justice. But then again, this part is so great, I'm sure it can carry itself!}

OK, this isn't the most exciting part. But seeing a computer program say that line just really reminds me of a show I watched as a kid...

Oh yeah. I guess it's a good thing we had to talk to all the important characters earlier! Now we're prepared for anything, including bugmergencies!

Wait is a spider a bug? Eh, doesn't matter. Lan's only 11, he ... no wait, 11-year olds love bugs and arachnids, that's no excuse.

EH.

His face really makes this precious

I wouldn't be bragging about that, guy. Unless it was to an 11-year old, they'd probably find that really awesome. So OK then.

Ah yeah, stands to reason creepy bug-obsessed nerd would also have some knowledge of spiders. How convenient!

Pft, it's a Netopian spider, it can't be that bad, not like it's from Netaustralia.

Sounds adorable, probably!

Ahh.... that could be a problem. Possibly. If anybody gets bitten... psh what am I worried about, that wouldn't happ-

Oh who am I kidding, it's MMBN, everything happens immediately after being alluded to by the game. Otherwise, why would they bring it up? C'mon now!

OH MY GOSH. What if our new buddy got hurt?!

For reference, this is our current new buddy.

Or... oh nevermind, he's just acting like normal. Maybe he's afraid of flights or something.

Oh no! It's that guy that may or may not be the same guy that helped run the Anti-Gospel Conference Thingy that we were at!

Yeah Mega, find that out! Because we weren't forced to go interact with some fellow who clearly identified himself as a doctor earlier.

I didn't miss a screencap, talking to the doctor immediately elicits this. I've already mentioned the game is highly inconsistent about whether or not Lan speaks or has silent protagonist syndrome.

I mean obviously he's a hyperactive kid who talks a lot, but geez they could at least be consistent in giving him lines.

I'd probably skip past them, but still.

"Capcom couldn't be bothered to give me sprites for getting up and walking out"

I can't fault them too hard for that though, they've been really good about it for most points in the game. Contrast with MMBN4, in which large segments of action are talked about over a black screen so they didn't have to animate it.

What an amazing coincidence, the dude just so happened to have the exact right antivenom on hand, I guess!

Uh, or that spider wasn't as dangerous as we thought...? Pretty sure a spider that has venom powerful enough to paralyse is going to need antivenom though!

HE'LL BE FINE, HE CAN TOUGH IT OUT.

Wait

Wait what?

Lan didn't tell the doctor what happened, the doctor just came along and was like 'welp this guy is poisoned somehow I guess' and then magically treated him and

now he's surprised it's a spider

Yeah. OK! Now then... how would we catch a spider on a plane?

Wait what size is this spider? If it's redback-sized I'd go for the ol' cup and paper method. But if it's hunstman-sized, I don't know what to do! I'm guessing there aren't any vacuum cleaners on board!

Our brave and ~~brainless~~ fearless protagonist, everyone!

Anyway, the doctor tells us in a long-winded way not to tell everyone there's a deadly(?) spider on board, because we don't want to panic people. So let's be subtle about this!

(Remember what I said about Lan's speech being inconsistent? Thanks Capcom...)

That's... that's the idea.

No, really.

I would not try that in real life. For several reasons.

Also, gross.

We'll find it all, even if we have to rummage through everyone's luggage! While remaining inconspicuous, of course.

I'd say "FETCH QUEST"! But we're all in one tiny area, and also this thing is far too grand to just call a fetch quest.

SPIDERQUEST! ...nah, even that don't do it justice.

I've decided to comb the plane over from back to fore! And what luck, this lady at the back has something we can use in place of a rope!

....sure, why not!

Anyway, let's skip lots of randomly checking passengers and right to the lady with the next item!

This lady is extreeeemely rambly.

So you know, text-dump:

My chopsticks? Well, actually, my husband made them. He and I have been making chopsticks for 45 years now. We have a dream. We want to take our chopsticks abroad... And show the world how great they are. We scrimped and saved for the trip, but he passed away. We were always together. But then we had to break apart. Just like a pair of chopsticks... I was very sad when my husband died. But to keep our dream alive... I decided to go to Netopia alone. The Netopias loved my husband's chop-sticks... I'm so happy... Sniff, sob... I'm sorry for rambling on and on. Would you like to hear the story of how we met? Oh, you're busy? I see. Too bad. Would you like some chopsticks? Take as many as you want.

MOVING ON TO LESS DEPRESSING THINGS!

Oh my.

Haha wait, I should get this before I forget. Totally not a box, but it'll do! Probably! What's the worst that could happen?

So this is it, the last piece of our master-spider-plan....

Let's just ask this nice fellow for his whiskey!

Oh no he di'n't

What is up, anyway??

Oh my goddd that did not just happen

Oh my godddd yes that did just happen

That's right

This, right here

I may need to let a lot of this beauty speak for itself.

It's... poetry, man. Pure poetry!

So, it's another little "pick the right answer from a list" section. And yet, it's still the greatest thing.

You just pick the correct rhyming lines that the world's best rapper said earlier. If you mess up, he just lets you try again

World's best rapper. Partially because he's the only rapper (to my knowledge) to appear in the MMBN-verse, and partially because he's just such a swell guy!

And mostly because he just gave whiskey to a random 11-year old Japanese boy who came up to him and copied his rap.

That is seriously what just happened.

And that's why MegaMan Battle Network 2 is a brilliant game. Thank you, goodnight!

OK, haha, I guess while I'm here I may as well get the spider!

Terrorising the plane, I guess??

Booyah! Called it!

Oh good, there wasn't another casualty (yet). Just concerned shrieking. Good thing there's not a panic or anything.

So much for not causing a panic. But then, how much panic-induced rioting can an old lady and an overly-friendly drunken rapper cause? Probably not enough to cause lasting damage, especially not in such a ridiculously large space.

Holy moly this plane is huge.

This bug guy? Pretty cool. Can't wait to see his ingenius spider-catching plan!

....

...awesome

Hopefully the spider will not notice all the expensive whiskey we are hiding near, and instead go for the whiskey-soaked pilot's cap.

AAAA HOLY FUCK THAT THING IS HUGE

I mean FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, look at the size of that thing!

I'm used to spiders, little poisonous ones that live in my letterbox (fuck you, whitetail, how do you always manage to come back?!), a large colony of little tiny ones that live in my garage (fuck you, redbacks, I've already sprayed that thing three times!!), big fuzzy ones coming in and out of every room in the house all summer (ok you huntsmans are cool, just don't surprise me or come near me).

BUT THAT ONE IS THE SIZE OF A PERSON'S HEAD

THAT'S MESSED UP

And that's why we needed such a brilliant plan to capture it, I suppose.

Also, this is a very notable subplot! Apart from having an amazing rap-battle, this is a situation that is (gasp) SOLVED WITHOUT COMPUTERS! The mind boggles.

Dibs not touching the spider-infested hat.

Oh yeah, if we quickly scarper then the horrifyingly oversized spider becomes somebody else's problem!

BOOK IT!

...We arrive in Electopia? Nothing else could go wrong on this flight, we already solved a big dumb problem, yaaay!

Lan would be excited if he wasn't asleep. He's all tuckered out from rapping

Ruh-roh. You know the drill! The screen's shaking, so shake your monitors to simulate it!!

Are we landing already?? Please say yes.

Shaking didn't wake Lan up, but Mega yelling did. Probably because Lan uses Mega as an alarm clock.

_{except the spider earlier..... as far as we know...}

That sounds a mite problematic.

WELP I guess everything does tie back to computers in some convoluted way.

...Is Lord a very good netbattler?

It is kind of humourous that everybody only has one mugshot, because having this guy deliver his lines with a slight smirk? Nice. Possibly not as amusing as his perpetually bored buddy. "Oh, the plane's going down? OK I guess...