Part 13: Plot, MMBN4 style.

This update contains more plot than every single other update to this point combined. I am sooooo not looking forward to the endgame, the plot is spaced about as well as the text in this game.



Note the Blue Moon symbol under Lan's feet. The Sharo Space Center had the Red Sun icon, and when playing Red Sun, these icons switch. It's a strange little detail, all things considered.



Fuckup Tally: 168

Yes, Dr. Regal hasn't told anybody the reason for holding the Blue Moon tournament, which is completely absurd. Imagine a B-grade apocalypse movie where the generic dashing scientist protagonist has a brilliant plan to save the world, but doesn't tell anybody about it for no reason at all. This is even worse because Dr. Regal can't be called dashing by any stretch of the imagination.

And there's no Not-The-Bush Administration obstructive bureaucrat to get in the way arbitrarily. You know, way back in my high school Geoscience class, we watched The Core, and our whole assignment was to MST3K our way through it. God damn, that was fun.

Sorry, tangentially rambling. Take it as a sign of my complete apathy and boredom, expect non-sequitur stuff in this update.



Surprise! Father and Son are reunited for the lategame. The only thing we get out of this is our first GigaChip, and it's honestly kind of crap as far as GigaChips go. Although that comes after the infodump.



You can almost feel the sarcasm.



You guys are going to fucking love this. Here it comes, folks! The big reveal!



Or not, Dr. Regal has to clarify that there were TWO tournaments held to determine the best in the world. Why we only heard about one of them until now is a mystery, and it feels very forced.



Who the "Other" is isn't important save for some throwaway dialogue bits. Anyway, the reveal. That asteroid, the asteroid that the game has avoided getting us involved in like the plague until now is...



MAN-MADE!





It traveled back in time from the future, and if you step into it, your subconscious desires start becoming manifested into reality. Dr. Regal's fear of squid comes to bite us in the ass real soon, but thankfully, a bit of zen introspective that's really deep and heavy man on Lan's part saves the day. Also, women suck at high-pressure situations.



What's hilarious is that because of the Boktai content, this game really does cross-over with Hideo Kojima's works. Well, at least it wasn't Michael Crichton. Solid Snake'ing our way through the dialogue, as usual, it only gets worse:



The Asteroid is actually a man-made or alien-made probe thingy, and why it's drifting through space is anybody's guess. But get this, it has a Cyberworld!

Oh god, it's like Independence Day all over again, where do I fucking START?!



The origin of the thing is handwaved as "We can't waste time speculating!", more or less.



Fuckup Tally: 169

Not only is the Asteroid actually a giant alien probe, it has a Cyberworld. One 100% compatible with the one used on Earth, to the point where a Navi sent to it, somehow Jacking-In to the thing despite it either lacking Jacks period or having said Jacks covered in space dust which accumulated on the thing, which is why it was mistaken for an asteroid in the first place...could control it.

Fuckup Tally: 170

Yeah, control the Asteroid, as if it was some kind of Space Boat that could be steered away.

I have nothing to add to this. This is wrong, I'm leaving it at that, just staring at the screenshot produces ann instinctual rejection in me. This should not be! This is fundamentally, absolutely, fucking fucked.



"Why are we making these modifications to the giant laser?"

"Shut up and do it."

"But what are they even for?"

"THE POWER OF PLOT COMPELS YOU."

Dr. Regal somehow had the team of Engineer Gnomes who only work at night while everyone is asleep convert the "Giant Laser of Asteroid Diversion" into the "Giant Laser of Navi Transmission". All without explaining why to anybody.



It's a testament to how stupid this all is that Dr. Yuuichiro Hikari himself is being reminded that Navis are in fact data.



And here's what I meant about the stuff about the other winner being pure throwaway dialogue. The other winner is at the Sharo Space Center, analyzing and interpreting data in real-time received from the Asteroid, in order for the Transmission Laser to adjust.

Fuckup Tally: 171

Winning a NetBattle tournament has everything to do with that, and could be seen as an initiation exam.



Yuuichiro, as is the norm, wonders if Lan can really handle the tremendous burden of sending MegaMan up to the Asteroid and operating him. He is promptly told to shut his damn face.



Oh no! Nebula has hacked the internet!



The ENTIRE internet!



Fuckup Tally: 172

This is flat-out wrong, connecting to the Net is still possible. What Nebula's actually done is cut off access from one country to another, preventing anyone in, for example, Sharo from sending data to NAXA. Whoop, that might be a problem.

Fuckup Tally: 173

And if the Net, that thing that everything in the world with a bit of silicon in it is hooked up to, is down, how the fuck did we get that message anyway? Phone calls are routed through the Internet as well, what'd they use, smoke signals? Carrier Pidgeons?



Naturally, because everyone else, Officials, military, you name it, are absolutely fucking useless, we have to fix this ourselves!



Dr. Regal gives us a transmitter so that they'll know if anything happens to MegaMan. Gosh, that sure seems paranoid, I can't imagine that we'd need that.



You know what's going to happen, admit it. You know absolutely damned well.







Anyway, GigaChip time! The Blue Moon GigaChip comes in the very useful B code, making it an easy fit into my folder. What it actually does is fire a super-piercing laser 3 panels ahead for 200 damage. Considering what GunSol EX does, this is kind of lame.

However, it has a few side effects. Most notably, it purges all beneficial programs from the enemy. This only applies during Linked Netbattles, obviously, because MegaMan is the only one to use Programs. Sort of. When you fight MegaManDS, he is equipped with all programs currently in your NaviCust, such as my FloatShoes program. Whacking him with this will remove that, netting me a large advantage. This is also a great screw-you for Linked Netbattles.

And speaking of, the Red Sun/Blue Moon GigaChips have a special, hidden feature: The more wins you have on your Vs. record, the more damage the chip does. Not that I can/want to do anything about that, though.



NAXA is a pretty sprawling place, given how it takes up its own country on the map. One larger than Electopia, for that matter. And the entire overworld is now open to me, 95% of the way through! Weee. Time for a bit of sight-seeing. Oh right, and fixing the Internet.



Fuckup Tally: 174

Welcome to YumLand. They don't look too bad, considering ShadowMan's attack that wiped out their entire Navi population.



Fuckup Tally: 175

Little-known fact: YumLand's national obsession isn't NetBattling, it's Dr. Seuss.



Sup Buddha. Okay, I'll give them credit for not insisting that the Fat Buddha is the only correct Buddha depiction. Giant Relaxed Buddha here is actually part of the JunkMan scenario, so unfortunately it's off-limits to us.



You fucker. What's actually required in this sub-scenario is to Jack-In all over the world and destroy the things Nebula stuck on the Internet to cut off transmissions. This jackass demands 6000z for a "restoration project" before we can get the passcode to actually access YumLand Area from the actual YumLand real world.



Let's save that one for last then, since zenny isn't flung at us from every direction like it was in 3. Rather than being a millionaire, I'm now perpetually destitute, constantly shelling zenny out when the game demands it, preventing me from being able to afford anything.

Also, ostrich.



So these things are in each of the internet areas besides anything in Electopia or Netopia. So Sharo, YumLand, and NetFrica. You destroy them the same way anything else gets destroyed when the player is involved: By clearing an easy, boring virus battle.



Boredom leads me back to the UnderNet, specifically, UnderNet Area 3. This is a very useful code because it lets you warp to UnderNet3 from the Sharo Space Center homepage, which itself is linked to Lan's homepage. It'd be a fantastically useful shortcut if you could have had access to it before the last 30 minutes of the fucking game!



Clearing away all that boring, tedious crap, Yuuichiro tells us to go find an Official Navi in Netopia Area, because they've discovered where the Nebula Navi is that did this.

Fuckup Tally: 176

That's right. One single Navi. One Nebula Navi. ONE. NAVI. Brought the entire global communications system down. What's even more idiotic is that nobody else can destroy those stupid gate-things, only MegaMan can for whatever arbitrary reason.

Ugh. In an ocean of stupid, Lan and MegaMan are the only ones who can do anything at all when it comes to resolving a problem, the rest of the entire planet is fucking worthless. Bring it on, asteroid, this world has nothing of worth for you to pulverize. It's just disgustingly arbitrary, I don't know why it pisses me off so much, considering what else we've seen up to here.



Fuckup Tally: 177

I did not need a fucking visual aid, game, but whatever you fucking want, fine with me!



The Nebula Navi is in ParkArea1, only, the only route there is through the UnderNet. Specifically, a route completely isolated from the rest of the UnderNet, accessible from TownArea4.



Which, using that key, is accessible from TownArea2.



Wow, a perfectly square grid with conveyor belts to make navigation a massive pain in the ass, how pleasant. This must have taken a whole 10 minutes to design, give them a hand!



In this mostly unimportant, bland area, through sheer fucking random chance, I stumble across an invisible pathway. This leads to a very important chip, the GunSol2 G! This is the only one in the game, and it's tucked away in an area that nobody without a fucking guide book is going to stumble across unless they're lucky.



So, here's the dastardly perpetrator who fiendishly blocked off the world's internet connections.



He's as weak as the HealNavis that were thrown at us in fucking Tetsu's scenario. This was an absolute waste of fucking time, yes, what about it?



Fuckup Tally: 178

Fucking damn it all, MegaMan, no you FUCKING DON'T! Dun dun duuuun, Nebula is after the Asteroid! For...some reason! MegaMan has it all figured out! Somehow! He's gained temporary telepathy from his DarkSoul, because that's a Nebula Navi! Insert bullshit handwave here!



The HealNavi proceeds to explode in a suicide attack.



Oh no, whatever shall we do. The transmitter's signal isn't being picked up. MegaMan is deleted. Dramatic tension. World is doomed.



I'll end on this riveting cliffhanger. Tune in next time I'm bored enough that this game becomes a preferable way to spend my day! Is MegaMan safe? What will happen to the world? Who fucking cares!?