Part 28: SearchMan: Team-Killing Asscock.

The C-Slider is the glitchiest piece of shit I have ever seen. Undernet 4's Slider ropes have a tendency to make you "fall off". I'm not kidding. Maybe it's an emulator issue. I'll post video footage of it.

...I'm delaying the inevitable, aren't I.

I have a confession to make. When I started doing Red Sun, it was more-or-less a blind run because I hadn't played it as much as I had played Blue Moon, neither of which was very much at all. (Maybe like one full playthrough) And so far, the scenarios have been more or less tolerable. Annoying as all hell, but not enough to melt my brain.

Until the third tournament.

Basically, each version has a "Fuck you" scenario in the third tournament that takes the level of pain the player suffers to a whole new level. For Blue Moon, it's Proto Man's segment. For Red Sun...




HELP ME PLEASE GOD NOT HIM



Search Man. I know the "A" isn't there so it fits eight letters, but it's still stupid. At least he doesn't have two heads. A lot of the BN Navis actually improve the original "classic series" robot masters' designs. That's cool.




Couldn't these two pieces of text have been just one text box? And what do you mean you did some homework? Anyways, everyone Mega Man talks to says that Search Man is basically the devil incarnate. They're not kidding.



Ugh



What threat? He doesn't have a gun.



This is Raika. He appears in BN5 Team Protoman, and in the anime he's practically a main supporting character. I don't know why, I generally associate "Raika" with "45-year-olds who insist that Pokémon is SERIOUS BUSINESS".



What threat?!



Only Raika doesn't think Netbattles are serious business.



He thinks it's FUCKING WAR. AND HE JUST PUNCHED LAN IN THE STOMACH...even though the sprites don't show it very well.



He gets a call from "The President". Man, this sure seems familiar, doesn't it? Next thing you know, Raika will call his buddies by meowing.

Well, that line sucked.



Raika says something about a crime syndicate's hideout...making this scenario one of few to actually involve Nebula. Lan, naturally, decides to go after him. Why? Hell if I know.



At least Sharo has PUPPIES!



Why does Lan offer to help Raika with his mission? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. This kid just jumps into whatever happens to be going on because he can.



So first they test you with a 5-round virus battle. A VERY, VERY EASY 5-round battle.



Then you get a copy of the key to the Nebula hideout. If they have the key, shouldn't they have routed the hideout by now?! Raika actually allows Lan to come and help him, which should have you very, very concerned. If you're actually playing along, anyways.



So we jack into the computer there, and...



WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY ARE THERE LEVEL 2 VIRUSES?! This is only the first playthrough! What is going on?!



So we get the passcode for free, GO FIGURE, but this actually isn't the way to the Undernet, as you know. I have to go all the fucking way around.



Even the mystery data is giving Level 2 chips.





Witness the HELL that is the Search Man gimmick. Some dick will be shooting at you throughout the stage. When the target appears over you, you have about 2 seconds to hit the right button to dodge, or take ONE HUNDRED POINTS OF DAMAGE.



WHAT WERE THEY SMOKING?! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Keep in mind, I only have about 400 HP at this point - Getting sniped, coupled with the Undernet's reputation for bullshit virus battles and winding passageways means that even the most hardened Netbattler is going to die ALOT assuming he doesn't SHOOT HIMSELF first.

And if you think this was any better the SECOND time down, it wasn't: They up the damage to 250 HP for each shot. So now you're dead no matter how much HP you have.



Your only solace is the possibility of a random encounter giving you Max HP afterward, which seems to only happen when you're down to 1 HP.



All of this is balanced out somewhat by the Navi customizer expansion in Undernet 2, allowing me to add in another program I got with another Lotto number. 500 extra HP is much appreciated. Especially since I got that Spin Pink item, letting me rotate pink pieces.



Meanwhile, we find that Sharo Space Center is an even bigger dick than Crapcom, having denied us use of a shortcut that would have made this a lot more bearable.

Oh wait. Crapcom put this here. That makes them even meaner. No wonder Inafune quit! He couldn't stand to see his own creations fall so far! You think this scenario is tearing US apart emotionally?! Imagine yourself in his shoes!



JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST, DIDN'T THEY TEST ALL THE ENCOUNTERS TO MAKE SURE THEY COULD BE BEATEN WITHOUT TAKING A HIT?! How are you supposed to SURVIVE this encounter with the chips available at this point?!



TWO. FUCKING. BOMBOYS. TWO OF THEM!



So I finally fucking made it after who knows how long. One more round of viruses later...



ARGH



They all get sniped, and our mystery sniper is revealed to be...



...

You're telling me...the guy shooting at me...was the same guy I was trying to help?

I...I need to be alone...




GOD DAMN IT! THEY DON'T EVEN EXPLAIN WHY HE WAS SHOOTING ME ALL THIS TIME! ALL I CAN GATHER IS THAT THE GAME MAKERS JUST FELT LIKE BEING DICKS! Well you know what? Capcom fucking wins. They've succeeded at creating the worst sequel I have ever seen. There are shitty games, and then there are sequels that make it seem like they didn't even care enough to put in an honest effort! And those are the worst games ever. Worse than Superman 64 and Big Rigs combined. MMBN4 is painful to play. Not only will your brain hurt from all the bullshit, you'll die a little inside because your favorite series just handed you bullshit game overs on a stick.

Now that that's off my chest, time for the battle with Search Man.



Oh, I am going to do SO much more than that.



If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a case of misplaced mugshots again, but it isn't.



I was wondering when they'd bust out the friendship speech. Having a Navi with the DNA of your own flesh and blood helps too, though.



Oh, wanna guess why Raika entered the tournament? To basically say, "don't fuck with Sharo." And now he gets punished for losing. I have to ask: Who's the true fool here, the fool, or the guy thinking that the fool winning a tournament is worth ANY amount of badassery whatsoever?

Also: Raika's punishment?



I get to eat microwaved Search Man for dinner.



More or less. Yeah, be friends with the guy who put you through...well...THAT.

Search Soul GET.

Search Soul is attained by sacrificing shadow chips like Invis. Search Soul's charge shot automatically hits the closest enemy on the field, no matter where it is, AND it pierces Invis. Also, you can shuffle any unselected chips back into the folder and re-draw the same number of chips shuffled - THREE TIMES per turn. I still prefer Number Soul's automatic ten-selectable-chips, but this is cool, too. Definitely better than Proto Soul.

And so we raise an age-old question: Idiocy. Genetic or environmental? I think our examples of Mega Man and Lan Hikari indicate both to be contributing factors. Until next playthrough!