Part 31: In conclusion, Red Sun is no improvement over Blue Moon. Shocking, isn't it?

Well, this is it. After this, I never have to touch this stupid game ever again.

Oh yeah. This is the last Red Sun-exclusive update, and I intend to make it a good one. Hold on to your chips and bring whiskey if you want to drink every time a fuckup occurs. This scenario will make the fuckup tally skyrocket, I'm sure.



Oh yes. I got to do the WaterGod scenario THREE TIMES. I was actually looking forward to Foot Bomb, but oh no, Red Sun gonna make me do the same scenario three times! NYEA NYEA NYEA NYEA. FUCK THIS SHIT!

They even had the nerve to make me buy the C-Slider, among other key items, a SECOND time. It's called New Game PLUS, you know.

EDIT: Search Man lost to a generic navi.



Thunder Man and Raoul are returning characters from Battle Network 2. He's been re-vamped to be less annoying and more legitimately difficult.

Too bad the same can't be said of the bullshit we get to deal with this scenario.



I can't quite tell if they forgot about Thunder Man entirely like they did with Metal Man.



This guy shows up and tells us there's a contest going on down at the Café. Winners get free bread!



Plain. Bread.



So far, so good...this old guy challenges us to a Net Battle, but we're kind of in a hurry.



Of course, the old fart calls us cowards and threatens to tell everyone in Netopia we're too scared.



Haven't you ever heard of having a fucking life, old man?! I have, and it sounds quite interesting!



It amazes me that 1200 is the highest HP amount a generic navi can have. Jack it up to 1800 then try again.




Is that Netopian for "Fuck you"?



This is an L button dialogue. I have a feeling if I pushed the L button at every opportunity the fuckup tally would wind up at like 400.



As if I would ever play Battle Chip Challenge.



Dammit, Lan really doesn't want anyone to win that custom avatar.



We settle this one like we always do: VIRUSES BUSTING!



Except afterwards...



What the fuck is happening to my HP?! I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS! WHERE'S RAOUL?!

Now, I want you all to pay close attention. I screencapped every text box in this conversation.




One.



Two.





Three.




Four.



MOTHERFUCKER!



...Maybe?



What



A CURSE?! A FUCKING CURSE?! IN A FUCKING SCI-FI GAME?!



I don't believe this. They could have come up with such a better scenario than this. *I* could come up with something better than this! Gang wars! Mafia invasions! ANYTHING OTHER THAN THIS!



So you need to find a voodoo doll hidden in the FUCKING INTERNET. It's behind a door that you need 4 keycards to get into. And get this: Only Mega Man can see them! Isn't that brilliant?!

But oh, this is Battle Network 4. Nothing is ever THAT simple, now is it?!



While you're Jacked in, your HP drains at a stupidly fast rate - TWENTY HP PER SECOND. EVEN DURING DIALOGUE BOXES. Be prepared to either Jack out and in again and again and again or die alot.

Or avoid combat alltogether by fleeing. Oddly enough, the curse can't kill you.

This is the worst idea I have ever seen in a Battle Network game. It might just be worse than the Search Man scenario - the only saving grace Thunder Man's scenario has is that you DON'T have to get the C-Slider for it.

A key item that's only used for one scenario in either version......the list of reasons this game sucks grows ever larger!



Card 1



Card 2



Card 3



Yes, the last two are in Yumland. They tell you this, but it still doesn't make sense.



Here's the fucking voodoo doll. I had better get a good soul out of this.



So you take the doll to Thunder Man and he fixes the curse.



Yep, this is worse than Arise 4. It's official.



What....just...

Recognize the music?



Oh yeah, wanna know why the old fart cursed us?



'cause he's a dick. Why else?



I'm sorry, but that's just WRONG. Plus ten fuckups in my book for that statement.



Lan, naturally, is quick to forgive the shithead.



In shame, the old guy makes Raoul the new tribe leader or whatever.



Raoul is a nice guy, though.



Uh, okay...

Phew. Finally done with this terrible game. But you know what? Playing the game may have been hell, but LPing it was actually very fun. Those ten dollars were well spent.

Well, that's that. Red Sun is overwith, the contest winner can claim his "prize", and we can all move on to Battle Network 5. I must say it's my second favorite game (next to BN2) so I'm looking forward to this.

EDIT: SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT Thunder Soul

You get Thunder Soul when you sacrifice an electric chip. Charge shot becomes the Zap Ring from two games ago (even though Bunny viruses aren't in this game) and electric and null element chips all gain a stunning effect. Yay for infinite stunlock. Boo for not being worth getting.