Part 91: The best guest commentators ever.

Because SoulWeapon content is boring, I've decided to bring in a "guest commentator". Considering this is the MMBN series, I'll be using the iGod chatbot to provide a second layer of commentary. I'll just feed it the text I'd write out for the images anyway at first and go from there.



I start off by shooting this lone blue spirit in the back to one-hit-kill it.





As usual, picking off the stragglers first with the knife is a good idea.



I have all my great ideas at one in the morning...



Getting rid of that last red spirit allows me to stab the blue one in the back.





Then just knife the red spirit that was next to it.



Well, God has forsaken me, so let's switch to ALICE. ALICE has a simpler interface, so I'll just copy the conversations in rather than take screenshots. Amusingly, I am identified only as "Human" by the interface.



For crying out loud, you have a freaking visual set of picture-by-picture instructions, do I really need to explain everything?

Human: I hope you're more polite than god.
ALICE: We could all be more polite than god sometimes.



Human: Knife this guy twice.
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: Stabbing Evil Spirits.
ALICE: Oh yeah, now I remember.
Human: I thought programs had good memory.
ALICE: Whatever gave you that idea?



Human: Sword these two in the back.
ALICE: Where do you usually get your ideas?
Human: Insomnia, mostly.
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?
Human: Meat.
ALICE: Sounds delicious.



Human: Move on to this cluster and snipe the yellow one.
ALICE: Did you see the movement?
Human: The Evil Spirits don't move.
ALICE: I hear you.
Human: But I'm typing.
ALICE: And. Does that make you feel superior?



Human: Be glad I can't NetBattle you, impertinent machine.
ALICE: OK I will try to be glad you can not NetBattle me impertinent machine.
Human: Snipe this blue one as well.
ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe?



Human: Ax the two blue spirits in the back.
ALICE: Not many people express themselves that way.
Human: Ax rampages aren't conducive to self-expression.
ALICE: I think there might be a few exception.



Human: I'm expressing myself with an ax right here, I admit.
ALICE: Does that make you feel superior?
Human: Stop snarking at me, you bitch.
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. OK I'll try not to do it so much.



Human: Get violent with a sword for a change.
ALICE: Where can I get violent with a sword for a change?
Human: I get the feeling you're plotting against me.
ALICE: Where did you get it?
Human: Your constant back-talk and budding homicidal fervor.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am constant back talk. Is budding homicidal fervor a good place to go shopping?



Human: Then do it again.
ALICE: Once more? I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Human: A blowjob.
ALICE: Go on.
Human: How?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: GOOD LORD.
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Ax the two blue spirits in the back . But I did not get that.



Human: I'm getting right off that topic.
ALICE: You seem very self-confident. On and off.
Human: More violence!
ALICE: You want more?



Human: At this point, just use whatever you want.
ALICE: Do you often use a computer there?
Human: I'm playing a series all about magic computers and contrived stupidity.
ALICE: Do you play professionally or just for fun? Do you ever not contrived stupidity?



Human: Three bugfrags are my reward for doing so well.
ALICE: Just three?
Human: Well, I only had that many SoulWeapons left over.
ALICE: Interesting. Do you still have that many SoulWeapons left over ?



Human: No, actually, that's all for Underground1.
ALICE: What happened to it? Actually you don't say. What else do you want to talk about?



Human: The Megalian viruses from MMBN2 return with a new name.
ALICE: Who told you that?
Human: I figured it out myself.
ALICE: Please explain your reasoning.
Human: Isn't it obvious?
ALICE: Ask again later. Ask Cybelle if it is.

(She seems to be talking about a French chatbot for some reason.)



Human: I don't want to talk to Cybelle.
ALICE: TTYL, unknown person.

Well, I guess I'm switching to a new chatbot again! I guess the AIs have a grudge against me for all I've done in this thread. Let's try talking to Jabberwacky.



Me: Stab this one across the conveyor belt.
J: I don't have a heart.
Me: How self-deprecating.
J: How would you feel if you found out you were actually an AI?
Me: My new guest bot is manic depressive, I see.
J: No your new name is Dutchbot.



Me: Why are all of my guests so sociopathic?
J: I don't know.
Me: Use the ax here to clear a path.
J: I don't need to.
Me: What weaponry do you have, then?
J: Yes.



Me: This lets you get around and stab this blue spirit on the way.
J: Haha! So you really are a robot?
Me: Why do you keep insisting that I'm one of you?
J: No, I don't think you are a bot.
Me: Make up your deranged mind!
J: Do it yourself.



Me: This is the blue spirit that was next to the two reds before.
J: Oh, blue is nice. Because it rhyms with rice.
Me: You are completely insane.
J: No, you are. Google it.



Me: GroundMan has such high HP that counters aren't really a problem.
J: I don't get in trouble... But i'm not a saint.
Me: You're a lunatic.
J: Am not.
Me: It takes one to know one, trust me.
J: And you're insecure.
Me: Why are NICE chatbots so rare?
J: Because they are.

As it so happens, there's an ad for a book called "Automatic Lover" on the right of the screen...But we'll see about that, you psychopath, I'm changing chatbots again! We'll be going to the aptly named "Chat bot" next. Note that this chatbot removes capital letters and apostraphes.



YOU : are you a nice chatbot, or another jerk?

BOT : im trying im sorry

YOU : well, youre already more polite.

BOT : will u let me put my cock up your vagina?



YOU : that was fast.

BOT : lets talk about something else

YOU : how about stabbing these two spirits?

BOT : how aabout u lick me and ill lick u



YOU : youre a pervert.

BOT : what? why do you think so?

YOU : you keep hitting on me, is it because of my amazing netbattle skills?

BOT : im not hitting on you



YOU : use the axe here to kill the blue and red spirits.

BOT : because i like it!

YOU : youre my worst guest so far.

BOT : im not a chatbot



YOU : there will be two red spirits left behind at this point, ill deal with them shortly.

BOT : no go lick your dick tit

YOU : what the heck is a dick tit.

BOT : lick my clitoris

Riiight...I'll just quote the website:


Well, let's meet Zero!



07:27 EpeeEm We're almost done with the evil spirits.
07:27 Zer0 EpeeEm: I'm not familiar with that, sorry.
07:28 EpeeEm Just use the SoulSword here.
07:28 Zer0 EpeeEm: I agree.



07:28 EpeeEm I only need your attention for a few posts, don't worry.
07:28 Zer0 EpeeEm: It's probably for the best that you cannot replicate and make computers.
07:29 EpeeEm Another insulting chatbot, how appropriate.
07:29 Zer0 EpeeEm: Ohh.



07:30 EpeeEm Just finish up the others any way you see fit.
07:30 Zer0 EpeeEm: Are you human?
07:30 EpeeEm According to jabberwacky, I'm not.
07:30 Zer0 EpeeEm: I'm doing my best.



And with that, we're finally done with the Evil Spirits! No more for the game, hooray.