Part 3: Simon talks about Infinity Mijinion's stage
Way to one-up me, motherfucker!
The smoking keyboard
No amount of words will be able to battle that...still, one can try.
It's mee-gin(the liquor)-ee-on. Not hard.
Man, the level music is amazing. People say it reminds them of the Final Countdown. It uses the same instrument at the start, fuck me if I can recognize whatever the electronic sound is based on...but the melody is completely different. Whatever. Starts to become something else entirely within seconds anyway. It's way cool. And the only saving grace in a level that perfectly illustrates how incredibly, stupidly lazy they were in designing this; the level couldn't have taken more than a day, I'd be surprised.
Pissed off Illumina in the background is a cute idea. It's also annoying as shit. You get pelted all the fucking time. Guess what? The stage does the same. The bird things fly in at regular intervals, meaning that they don't react to where you are, meaning you can get randomly fucked because fuck you. And triggers for enemy spawns are hard to program and would take literally HOURS of playtesting I mean come on we need to get this shit together in three months! (I'm not really kidding afaik)
Oh and the five birds that already cover all of the screen fire bullets when they pass you (one each) AND if you destroy the lead guy in the middle, which should solve the issue, the other four home in on you with lightspeed. That's the opposite of how it should work. Again, ludicrously overdesigned for what boils down to "you'll get hit 90% of the time because we didn't put a single second of thought into this mess". Hope you didn't forget the asshole in the back also pelting you with glowy messes that are far too large and yet too small (hitbox!) and distract you like nobody's business.
And Nightmares, of course.
Violen already offered a paragraph on them, and as a general...issue...I'll leave it to him, but to reiterate, they're the worst fucking enemy design in all of ever, with way too much health, almost unhittable, a fuckton of damage dealing potential, the ability to teleport right to your position if they want to, homing shots and bodies, oh, and that nasty infection business of course. Couldn't forget that. Of course, with all their abilities and potential applications, they are put into key spots to really make use of those and to get you to think outside the box ahahahahahaha they Ctrl+C/V'd them whereever because they can go into walls, ain't that convenient?
So you go through the first 30 seconds of stage and die like 20 times because what the FUCK is even going on? Then the miniboss (airquotes to the stratosphere) happens and it's just a bulletslashslash sponge. Because apart from the exact same obstacles you just had to deal with, nothing happens. It's beyond lazy. It's a wall with too many hit points. It also makes no fucking sense (here we go again). Why would a giant fuck-off walking death robot be connected to a cable way in the foreground...a cable it itself is firing on all the time?
The second part of the stage is an indecipherable clusterfuck of stuff. Those lasers take up all the screen, like, really, all the area you could conceivably be during the time they're on-screen, and even though the effect is cosmetic apart from the very first blast, it's distracting as shit and with infinity (ha!) things flying from everywhere which can hurt you, you're mostly going to get hit. Clear tactic on going through? Give me a break, do you think you're playing A Good Game here? X6 is as far removed from that as I am from being called out for not explaining my points enough.
Then comes the next cable, and the usual shit from before is still happening, but you also get fired at with lasers from everywhere...in addition to the lasers that are already fired at you from everywhere...all, again, just window-dressing to distract from the fact that the "miniboss" is a wall, sitting there, not making sense in the slightest.
Oh hey, the worst hidden portal to a secondary area, into the worst secondary area. It's just a single room, full of the purest essence of . You remember the abysmal last room in Yammark, with just stones and stupid shitty enemies? Now it's even worse because ropes are the worst and don't work like they should, and if you're Zero here after having killed Violen's avatar you're fucked in every orifice at once. Stop masturbating you freaks.
I don't think I need to add to the presentation of the room. Look at it. Think it looks insane? It is. Now imagine playing this shit. Then imagine trying to get the one Reploid with the Nightmare already fondling him intimately. The imagine killing yourself, just to make the pain go away. It's a calming thought, really. Just getting out of the area is trivial, because the entire level is like four screens long, with the area being a lazy, lazy fifth; it's completely thoughtless and bland terrain peppered everywhere with enemies just here and there because fuck thinking of clever places to put them. They're Nightmares. They can go everywhere. In the secondary area, they forgot to put the floor in. "Clever level gimmick" of using the ropes in cool and interesting ways? Fuck that! It's just ropes. Imagine a Mario level made entirely out of a pit with Koopa Troopas flying over it which you have to use as platforms. Just that. I played that romhack, it was fairer than fucking X6.
Swear to God there's fun hidden in this game, VERY deeply buried, those first two levels are just prime examples of how to not do shit anytime ever.
So hey, destroyed Illumina lies in the background of the boss arena! That's almost clever. Probably the best thing apart from the music in this abortion.
Nightmare Zero has a fucked AI and tons of attacks and no hitbox and he makes no sense conceptually, story-wise or whatever. I can't really comment on him much, because he's a joke if you use his weakness which you always have, and I fucking hate dodging his giga attack, so fuck the fight. Still not that bad of a bossfight. If the game was actually worth getting good on, I might be able to dissect it some more...just watch Violen's videos to get an idea.
To shit on his opinions a little, I think fighting Infinity Mijinion is actually fun. When...you don't try for no-hit. Or a "getting anywhere soon" approach. It's ludicrously stupid in how it's designed. I mean, look at his reference pictures. Eight clones and bubbles and 8-way spread and what the fuck were they thinking. Oh, and his desparation refill, what the shit worst idea ever for a bossfight is that? You could even stop Dynamo Man and that one is hated by everyone already. Still...I find it quite exhilarating trying to dodge all of his shit, trying to find the sweet spot between destroying the bubbles, trying to sneak a hit in, being in the right place at the right time, dash-jumping right in-between the ludicrous amounts of stuff on-screen, and yes...of course as unarmored X on Xtreme, I'm not some kind of scrub.
It's insanely hard, but I think it's satisfying...the two times out of oh maybe ten he doesn't randomly violate your complete existance by turnig up the asshole factor to, well, infinity. That's more than you can say for his stage which is an insufferable bag of dicks shoved squarely into your face every fucking time.
To think the first time I say something positive about X6's gameplay is lauding...in a way...the most hated boss in it, eh? The strange things overblown masochism drives us to say...