Part 14: Fire the Interns

Update #13:Fire the Interns

So, we're here. We're finally here. This is what you've been waiting for: the new scenario that was added to this game. Now, unlike the rest of the game, I'll be doing this blind. Going into this, I suspected that the team thought they'd have a few more stories to tell (OSS2, perhaps?), so I won't be too harsh on any open-ended plot threads. However, I do want a reasonable explanation as to where the bad guy came from, because, well, he can manipulate time.

The thread title has me call out "interns". Now, I don't know the experience of those involved on the project, but that won't stop me from making shitty jokes on a dead comedy internet forum.

If only that wasn't the only kind of joke you made.




They left that plothole hanging as I wrote last update. Well, we're off to a great start.





"Don't interrupt my laughter! You know the rules!"

Specifically, Section 3.b in their contract, 'Evil laughing'.



This already feels like a parody of sorts. Oh no.




: Hmm? What is it?

: Well, during my last battle, ElecMan was deleted by that meddlesome Navi! Perhaps as a reward for my plan's success, you could repair ElecMan...?

: Hey! That's not fair! Lord Wily! I worked hard to gather the programs, too! Please repair my ColorMan, too!

What the fuck? These ~super elite hackers~ don't have the means to fix their own Navis?

I thought the generally accepted idea was that Navis (except MegaMan) could have backups stored, so it was okay if they got deleted? Weird to see Zap and Madd asking for Wily to help. Unless instead of 'repair' the writers/translators meant 'upgrade'?



: If you let him beat you, blame your own operating! You can pay for your own mistakes!! I'll be focusing on my plan! If you want them repaired, you can do it yourselves!!

: What!?

Wily has no time for your whining.



: Fucking idiots. Do I have to do everything!?




Totally MegaMan's fault. And not yours for not having code backups.



: It's about time we get our sweet, sweet revenge! You know, Zap. That Lan kid has a cute girlfriend. So, what if we kidnap her and her Navi, and...*whisper*...

Gonna leave that picture in because, yep, they said that.

Man, it's weird to be seeing this conversation instead of just a cut back to Lan. I can't believe there's new content...




Good lord, we just went through this angle. Oh boy.

At least they're doing something instead of just whining.





Lan's actually walking around the room. Kid with a lot of nervous energy....and this is exactly what I do.




Riveting answer from our deuteragonist.

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

: After all, they're trying to start a war, the EndGame! WWW's NetCrime has been making things tough for everyone. Even Mom and Mayl were caught up in the recent incidents. Everyone's been OK so far, but if something were to happen... There's no way I could forgive them!



Lan is either contemplating something dastardly, or likes how 'heroic' MegaMan's speech was.

: I'm gonna fuck them up, give me the word, lemme at 'em!




Oh no, I'm suddenly reminded of all the fanfics.

Why have you read fanfics of this series?




Ah, the developers kept the BN1 oddity. I suppose Caller ID was in a newer model.





Fuck me. Again!?

This is actually a good enough excuse for not knowing who's calling. If Roll is usually the one who connects the call, then calling without her would be like calling from a pay phone.




Uhh...you might wanna get used to Lan being the calm and collected one for this scenario. I like the idea on paper, but let's see how they handle it.

MegaMan's friend just got kidnapped. Can't blame him for being a little distracted. Still, I wonder how the writers will handle BN1 Lan?





Jesus Christ. The competence.

Friends in BN/SF games are exactly as competent as they usually are, so good on the writers so far.




Damn, I read this line as Lan being so annoyed. Fucking tired of this.




: Why the fuck am I being written this way? I lose my calm over Roll!? Two scenarios ago I didn't care all that much. Gimme a break.

Because they needed something to be analogous to Mega and Lyra, I guess.




No, we're going to grind. Mayl can wait.



Buying this for library's sake. In BN1, this chip literally destroyed your opponent's entire chip hand in PvP. It's been nerfed to work for only one of your opponent's chip in this port.



Fuck, I'm being railroaded! Boo! Hiss! Down with the dev team!

It's not a big deal, you can still just go to the Internet and take the long way around.



We can't even jack-in. Geez. All you have to do to defeat me is put a lock on the computer.

They... They blocked it... My god.



_{No grinding for Giver.}



You know, Lan has a Mom, too. I'm surprised no-one's kidnapping her.





Whoever it was literally stomped their faces in.

I'm surprised Lan isn't immediately calling the police. Or running, because he can't face off against two adults in the real world.





MegaMan StarForce for the save!

Thanks Geo/Mega.





Hey, just because he's blue, doesn't mean he's MegaMan.exe.

I'm sure there's plenty of other blue Navis out there, like... uh... like SharkMan! That's who she might have fought.




Oh-ho. I can jack into this, huh? You developers forgot something!



Fuck off.

Hahaha, the game isn't having any of your bullshit.

So, in what I assume is a strategy for saving on new textboxes, we can't have Lan give the hint for when you're jacked in. This will apply to this whole scenario. This is the same textbox MegaMan gives in the real world so effectively this is what you get.

It's minor, yes. And if you really want, you can rationalize it as MegaMan taking charge of the situation. It would kinda fit with the earlier scene, but it's an odd moment of inconsistency with the entire game.

I like to imagine that Lan opens his mouth and then MegaMan jumps in to do the hint text.



"Oh,Lan!"?

A lot of the punctuation in this game only uses the left half of the space so they don't have to waste a full 'character' for the space. It's a neat way to save on character limit.




...was kung-fu fighting?




Stop. Desist. Cease.

: ...I think I'm a bit better now. Thanks Lan. OK, so we were on the Net when suddenly, a Navi barged into our house!



M-Metal Gear!?



Metal Gear!

In his defense, this really is weird enough that you'd want confirmation. Like someone saying that Bigfoot ran up and stole their camping equipment.



: I couldn't believe it either...He went into the piano and next thing, he appeared next to Roll!

Goons, tell me. Is Mayl's reaction weird to you? I guess a Navi in the real world would be pretty shocking, but I'd think the speeding bus would be more traumatic?

I think the problem here is, the situation is ongoing instead of in the process of being resolved, one, and two it's her best friend (basically? I'm assuming here) that got kidnapped.



Lan honestly mirrors my emotional state.

"Fuck a girl is crying I don't know what to do"





...Blinky, stop. Don't enable this.





Interns!

At least they didn't spell it 'donno'.



What are you doing!?



Yeti, stop this madness.

Never. Suffer.





The plot thickens, I guess. MegaMan StarForce went into the real world, stopped the World 3 goons, went into the piano and kidnapped Roll. Hm.

What, did he think Roll was Harp Note or something? They couldn't have written him THAT dumb, right?



We regain control. And guess what? We're locked into Mayl's house. This one has a pretty good reason, though.



*sigh*

: Just hurry up and keep playing the game you idiot!


"I feel like I'm seeing more Navis than usual today..."

There's a cutscene spot right up ahead, so yeah, the game needed to ensure we see the proper triggers.



Hi Geo!



Geo points his gun at us.

...Hi Geo?



Didn't get a great screenshot, but it's actually "Huh!?" and there are explosions at MegaMan's feet.




No eyes means death. GEO IS DED.

I can't believe that his visor is opaque like that.



Geo runs off. Remember what Dr.Goodall said about non-interference?




I mean... Geo has an animal for a hand and a visor. About the only thing you two share is height and main color.

Apparently MegaMan really is the only blue Navi in existence.





I'm not doing this on purpose. I swear to you.

Jumping from "I need to save Roll!" to "...I need to save Roll..."



Moving up ahead for another cutscene trigger.





Much better shot this time.

That's the second warning shot, he's not gonna give you a third!



I'll say this. At least there's a compelling reason not to give away the details of events to characters. That's one thing they did right.


"Come to think of it, that Navi looked just like you."



YO WHAT UP. _{Holy fuck this map.}

So given that we finally got some new Battle Network content after so long, I decided to celebrate a little.

I've been running through this map multiple times while keeping up with Giver's update (so I can check changes against the original) and I still get lost.







I modified my folder to be roughly what an average/poor player may have. This is just so my good folder doesn't steamroll everything -- I do want to derive some enjoyment from this. One Hammer A since it's conceivable a new-ish player would see an attack value of 220 and really save for that.

Recov120 F is basically a freebie. And you have Roll because she's noob-friendly. Invis1* is Star Coliseum only, so I hope that a player would conceivably take a break from playing to do a minigame. IceMan2 is the only 'questionable' thing here. But given the HP of bosses in this game, it's possible to get lucky.

I won't really grind in this scenario, but if I pick up a chip from a virus, it'll go in the folder.

It's nice to see you're giving the game a chance for once, instead of just stomping over everything and then complaining this game made for kids is too easy for you, an adult.





Oh boy. MegaManSF has 200 years of tech on us. Frankly, he should absolutely curbstomp MegaMan.exe.

I imagine their chip system might not be compatible, though. ...Though since this is after Star Force 3, Geo's probably way more experienced at this than Lan is.






All right, it's time for a boss breakdown. Good thing about MegaManSF being so late in the game is they have more room to make him stand out.

I'll stay quiet for a bit, there's not much I can add. See you in a bit!




Periodically, MegaManSF will charge his buster. As soon as it reaches pink, he'll immediately warp to your row and fire it for 70 damage.



Just like ProtoMan, he'll bring up his shield to block any attack you throw at him. He doesn't try and counter like ProtoMan would, however. It's just bait to waste your moves.



Sometimes he'll fire a burst of buster shots (3) down a row, dealing 35 damage a pop. This move causes flashing, so I'm not sure why it deals so low damage. It can break barriers and still hit you, I guess.



If you see green arrows form under him, that's his Lock-On ability. Step in the same row, and he'll warp to you and perform a LongSword for 100 damage. Use this to knock him with Burners/Hammers.



When he's at less than half health, Omega-Xis will pop out and do his BeastSlap move. It covers the first 2x3 squares in your area, and deals 200 damage. If you get caught by this, then you suck since it's telegraphed for 50 years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHwIEE27ia4

MegaManSF is good fun! Most of his attacks all go straight, though. I would have loved to see another move that forced you into his row for his attacks to connect.

Decided not to use fully charge shots on my first time, as well. That's 80 damage a pop.

I always like seeing new bosses. They're far and away the most fun part of these games, to me.




Unfortunately, there is no way to rematch him, so I kept a savestate right by his fight.

The modern day equivalent of keeping a hard save parked right at the entrance to the boss door in most RPGs.



MegaMan? You sure you want to turn your back on your enemy? B O I





Not even Lan can control his own brother. Um...wow.

: Hurr durr NetNavis shouldn't operate on their own, Protoman





Now, to be fair, you have trouble controlling your blood lust, Omega-Xis. Don't talk.





Ah, Geo was holding back quite a bit. Makes sense. And MegaMan was tired after that; guess the interns agree MegaManSF would win out in the end.

Oh hey, his visor shows his eyes again.




They made MegaMan so horny that he's actively going to cause a time fuckup. I don't believe this shit.

To maintain the timeline, MegaMan must never do a fuck.



Oh, neat looking area.




She doesn't respond to MegaMan's calls. Hmm. Maybe her memory's been used up. Quick, download more RAM!

Here's a handy link for more RAM!





Lan, stop this fanfic, please.




I forgot to mention, but they play the Starforce 1 postgame theme here. An odd, but nice choice. Give it a listen.

Ah, more nostalgia-bait.




Time for the local wild pokemon.

Lan's so good he doesn't even need to see to bust those viruses.




Not too shabby of a lineup. Another spot to get Quake 3, since it was kind of limited before.



I score some easy chips despite the folder I have. Those Quake3s and Timebomb2s are going in the folder. It's not the folder you have, but how you use it, guys.



MegaMan starts slowing down the minute he steps on the clock.

Someone needs to overclock their CPU.



And now, he can't move past the center. Those clock hands are also slowing down more and more.





Oh. MegaMan, god dammit.

You've activated my Time Trap!





We get our arc's main villian monologuing to himself. Looks like including time travel, he can stop a program's perception of time, forcing them to be frozen.

Really all that's happened is a DDoS attack. Y'know, like what toooootally happened to the FCC in 2017.






Welp, we lost. Goodbye, all.

This dude cannot figure out how the hell he wants to laugh.