Part 9: Rabbit Season

_{god this fucking title has changed like ten times because they're all equally awful}



We left off the last update in the middle of Boreal's lab, where Zack managed to fuck everything up again by staring at the rocket design on the wall.

I think Yeti hates Zack because he is reminded of himself. Short, unattractive, and useless.


: Better get back to the Science Museum.

Really all we had to do was see the cutscene where Boreal pulls an Abbott and Costello routine and then we could go head down to the next flag, but then we'd miss out on exploring the new area.



Case in point, aren't you glad we saw this?


...scribbled here, but what does it mean...?

This is the rocket they were staring at, by the way. And I guess that means they're finding a way to tactically befriend people with missiles.

Are tactical nukes Friendship Bombs? PC language has gone out of control.


But the power's not on now, so it's blank. Turn on the power?
>Yes No
*whiiiiiiiiir*
A wavehole has appeared near the monitor!



We'd also miss this wavehole if we didn't explore a bit. ...Hey, what's that over there?


: USUALLY, THE PUBLIC ISN'T ALLOWED IN HERE.

Thanks for letting us in, Mr. Hertz!


: Chop-chop! Let's move!



This will now be called the Caution Rocket. Good lord, what a name.


...he saw when he didn't sleep for 3 days. Now where have I seen this before...?

Apparently, you can see EM waves after you stay up late enough. Or maybe Boreal just had a really coincidental hallucination.


I'd love to Ssee it take off one day!

Hang on wait, why are they building a rocket in a personal lab? Shouldn't this be done in a facility that's not on the second floor?


: What is that? Is it something you can eat?

Ahaha, get it, Bud is fat and eats a lot




It's too large for the rocket next to it. I bet it's for something else.

Really, there's just a lot of stuff in here that shouldn't be. Like this engine, for example.



Each of the four lockers has the same text. They look perfect for stuffing nerds into.

Why would a personal office have 4 lockers. This bugs me more than anything else.



And the exit leads onto the roof, that has... literally nothing on it. Welp.



The nice thing is, we won't trigger the next flag until we check out the SpaceSim, so I can run down to the wavehole in the museum and then run back up here.



This time, we're able to enter the Lab's EM roads.


: WILL THAT REALLY FLY? I WANNA TAKE A RIDE! HUH? YOU CAN'T SEE IT? IT'S THAT COOL THING! I RECOMMEND GETTING CLOSER TO TAKE A LOOK!

Camera jokes, Mr. Hertz? Very nice.



We'll take the right fork from the Mr. Hertz. Like the other areas in AMAKEN, the wave roads are very twisty with lots of dead-ends. I won't be showing most of them off unless they have good stuff. In this case, the path to the south is a dead-end so let's go to the north.


: It looks like a bunch of top-secret stuff. If someone found out that I knew, I'd be deleted! I've got to get out of here! FAST! Where's the exit!?

Shit cheese it, it's the cops!

He'd be deleted? Damn. And someone wants to tell me that digital beings have rights? I think not.



This wavehole was always active, at least.


: *PUFF* *BEEP* I'VE BEEN IN SPACE BEFORE YOU KNOW! SO WHILE THE FUEL MAY ALREADY BE GONE, I THINK SOMEHOW WE CAN MANAGE TO PULL IT OFF! *HUFF* *BEEP*

My one regret is that these updates get so long that I have to transcribe Mr. Hertz's text, because they deserve to be heard fully.

Fuck you Yeti. Making me vertical scroll 'n' shit.


Ooh, this is nice.



Coming to the lab here also gives the player a chance to examine everyone's Transers, but I've already done that.



At the very least, the roads aren't that big.



Another IceMeteor1. Very nice.

Gucci.





Taking that teleporter drops us off on the other side of the lab.





There's no BMW this side and no NPCs, so the only other thing is this wavehole that we opened up earlier.


: *SCRIBBLE* *SCRIBBLE* WELCOME TO THE DISPLAY COMP! RIGHT NOW, I AM PROCESSING THE IMAGES TO BE DISPLAYED. HMM, SOMETHING'S STILL NOT RIGHT. DRAWING PICTURES ISN'T EASY. NO, NO, NO... THAT WON'T DO.

Just let your artistic juices flow, buddy! You can do it!



?



Not as exciting as the HPMem10, unfortunately. And there's nothing else that's exciting in the wave roads (no new enemies) so I'll just pulse out.



We gotta look at spaaaaaaace



Yes hi hello we're here for the space.

But you use a SPACEbar, Yeti.

: Sign up for the SpaceSim tour is over there. You're a participant, right? Through this tunnel is the SpaceSim. It's an area where we simulate space! There's no gravity, and no oxygen. So please change into these suits.



Wait, hang on, is this a real spacesuit?


: Good. Then let's go!

Just gonna gloss over that part, there game?



Guess so.

Gotta save sprites and money...somehow. I guess they didn't want to make new animations given the part that's coming up.


: The same! It's just like that one time...


: Wh-Why!?


: Why is it happening again? ...*sob*

I get that he's being manipulated by Weird Spooky EM Duck, but god Tom is such a sadsack.


: ...*sob*
: See, I told you. Heh heh heh...



And in a flash of light the duck appears.


: Wh-What should I do...?
: It's simple. You should punish he who betrayed you. You will feel much better once you do.
: Punish... Mr. Boreal...? Me?
: Eheh heh heh. Don't worry. I'll lend you my powers.



"Duck-thing! Lead me into everlasting darkness!"

Oh yeah plot twist this is a Kingdom Hearts game now, we're LPing all of the KH series starting from this one.



Nicely color-coded, Geo. It's a good thing they have the appropriate color of space suit.

: I'm floating... There's no gravity in here.
: Welcome to the SpaceSim. Looks like you are our last participant. Please allow me to close the door.
*beep, beep*


: The tour will begin shortly. Enjoy!

You're locked in here now, Geo. There's nowhere for us to go. So, we might as well explore a bit.



Yes. Yes it is.


: Please take a look around until then.




Geo got: HPMem10!!



And don't worry about the boundaries; they're not clear but anytime Geo would walk out of the 'room', he'll pipe up and say that he shouldn't leave.

So... it's an endless expanse? Who designs a room like this?








All eight of the planets are organized roughly in a ring around the SpaceSim projector. In order, too!




There's also a couple of other people in the simulation that we have to talk to.


: I wanna know if I get to try some space food!


: Isn't that such a romantic thought?


: ...something you can experience only at AMAKEN!

And that's everyone in the room. Once we've talked to everyone, we lose control again.


: Oh, Mr. Boreal! Will you be joining us?
: Yes, I'm here with a few of the kids today. Don't mind me. Please, continue as normal.
: OK. Well, as I was saying... Hi everyone! I am your tour guide for today. What do you think of our SpaceSim? Almost like the real thing, don't you think?
: But the fun has just begun. Now, if everyone would please follow me.

I am not a fan of the SpaceSim.


: One man, a long time ago said, "The Earth is blue." And he was right. Our planet, Earth... is truly a sight to behold.

This is a quote from Yuri Gargarin, the first man in space. But I'm sure you can guess why I'm not a fan of this whole cutscene.


: ...that encircle the planet. Does anyone know what the rings are made of?
: I know! They're really a bunch of giant donuts!
: Well, that's a very unique answer!

"Very unique answer" is my new favorite way of calling someone a massive dumbass in a polite tone. Gonna steal that.

Noted.


: Um... How about you!?
: M-Me!?
: Do you know what the rings are made of?
: Um... They're made up of small bits of dust and ice that formed into what we see as rings, I think...
: That's exactly right!
: Good going!
: Gee, ah...



Geo slides forward. He's getting into this whole thing, finally. Kid really loves space.

: (This tour is actually kinda fun...)
: ......




: ...Cool.

I didn't point them out before because these stars didn't actually exist.


: You look happier already.


: You really are your father's son. Your eyes light up when it comes to space things.
: R-Really?

I can't believe they managed to catch Geo with this so easily. Kid's a sucker for anything space.




What a wonderful dance. Though I don't recognize that constellation?

Newly discovered, Yeti. It's half a parsec off of Wolf 359.


: Hey, we don't have anything like that here! Who was that...?
: Over here.



...How is he standing there? No but seriously, how did he get up there and stay there with no gravity?

I gotta admit that's a nice 'o shit' moment.

: M-Mr. Dubius?
: H-How are you in here without a suit on!?
: I don't need a space suit. I have been reborn.


: A-Aaaaaaaaah!!

Aw hell. But at least I don't have to pretend to be surprised that the EM villain turned out to have wings.


: (He's here!!)
: T-Tom, what's wrong!?


: ...for someone who just betrayed someone else! I have come to punish you, Aaron. Behold!
: This is bad! Geo! Turn away from him!!

Also Tom now has a really dumb mugshot. Look at that idiot.


: Just do it! Hurry!!
: OK.




Very nice.

Way to ruin my mood, game. I can never take Swan Dancing seriously. Ever.


: Is that the Swan's Dance? ...Hey, that's odd.
: My body is...!
: Waaaaaah!!


Ah fuck, it's FlashMan's hypnosis.

Huh. Glad everyone is getting into the spirit, but maybe this isn't the best time for interpretive dance.


: That's right. Dance until you drop!!

Everyone kinda spins away to dance around.


: Wh-What is the meaning of this, Tom!? Why are you doing this!?
: You should know why. Betrayal is the essence of society. Even now. Soon, the oxygen in your suits will run out. Until then, enjoy floating in this space... dancing your time away. Compared to my suffering, this will be nothing.
: Betrayal? Suffering? What are you talking about!? Please tell me!!


: ...you'll just betray me again. I'm not buying it anymore!



And with a flash of light, he's... inside the computer?

: I hope you all enjoy yourselves with this. This is the dance of your demise.


: That guy's been taken over by Cygnus.
: Cygnus?
: Yeah, an FM-ian shaped like a swan. You watch his dance, and you'll be dancing too. The only way to stop the dancing is to beat him.
: B-Beat him? You want me to fight him!?
: It's up to you, but if you don't act soon... Well, you get the picture.
: Th-That's...


: ...looking for me, so we'd see him again anyway.

It's worth pointing out that Cygnus (the ghost duck) doesn't even know Mega's here. He just wants to fuck around and kill people.

Never trust a duck.

: So I have to fight him no matter what!? Why do these things only happen to me!?
: Anyway, go find a wavehole, kid, and pulse in!!



Sure thing, Mega. Right away. No interruptions before I do that.



But first we need to talk to the dancers.


: Someone! Heeelp!







: And my oxygen...

They seem like they're all doing alright. Anyway, we need to find a wavehole so let's just put on the Visual...

Wait how does Geo get to the Visualizer in his helmet without taking it off? Does he just do a sick headbang and it falls into place?



Well whatever. As soon as I hit Y, the wave roads appear and I lose control again.




Very cool.


: Of course! There are EM waves in space too.
: But...





We, uh. May have a problem. Namely that there's no visible place to pulse in.

: We can't pulse in if there aren't any.
: Then...
: We've gotta bust our way outta here, and find a wavehole somewhere!
: Outside? Hmm, the door is somewhere...



I'm not even going to pretend otherwise, everyone knows we came in through Earth. Maybe if you closed the game for a while (it's on the DS, after all, definitely a possibility) and forgot? But for us, we can just look up at the earlier part of the update. Still you just have to try eight different options.


: Who was it that knew how to open this door?



Again, there's only so many people we could talk to.

: (I'm sure she's the one who shut the door... Please excuse me as I look in your pockets...) Ah! This is it!



Geo I'm not even mad, but how did you search someone's pockets while they were spinning like that?

..... Space magic. Alternatively, Geo is a master pick-pocketer. I do have to say that while I'm not a fan of Duck Dance, the very thought of just being stuck until your oxygen run out generally never loses its efficacy for tension.




Anyway, we did get a few new key items. Most importantly, that says KeyMan.





That's right, we have a new Navi to help out. I'm glad they went with MegaMan.exe over KeyMan.exe for the Battle Network series, it would have been really weird for this guy to be Lan's brother.


: Please enter the passcode!
Hint: the number of planets in the solar system

Oh I know this one, it's easy.



: Mer, Ven, Ear, Mar, Jup, Sat, Ura, Nep. That's all!
: Hmm...

pluto is still a planet, fite me cowards

We find out today of all days, that Yeti....

is a genius.



Anyway there's no real penalty to screwing up, the game gives you the answer and then kicks you back to the space sim. So let's just lie and say there are 8 planets.

: Passcode confirmed! Open Sesame!
*beep*
*click!*

Sometimes you need to face facts. Other times you need to ignore planetary classification and stand up for a poor planet who GOT BULLIED OFF THE PLANET TEAM



Stupid... Garbage trash game.


: They're doing the Swan Dance?? What in the!?

Everyone seems to know that there's something up with the SpaceSim, and they're all running around. That being said, their dialogue is all variations on "Something's wrong? Mr. Boreal is in there?! OH NO!" so let's just ignore all that.



We can't leave, either. Someone (Tom, most likely) locked them beforehand.



That means this is the only wavehole we can access.


: Hey, look over there, Geo!
: What is it?

: "It's your dad! Haha, no, not really, I'm not gonna tell you about him."

Wow. Omega-Xis is such a jerk.


: We're in luck. The SpaceSim and this area are connected by a Wave Road. Just beyond there is the SpaceSim.
: But...



: The road is messed up. We can't get there.
: Then we'll just have to fix the EM waves.
: Fix the EM waves? But how?


: ...in this building!
: Is that really going to help? Besides, can you really fix EM waves?
: Think! Is there an electronic device around here that would draw EM waves into itself?



Oh god this is already an awful idea, Geo don't do it you're going to kill everyone even faster than that Swan Dance.

: I get it. If we check that out... But I thought the guy said it was broken...

And it should stay that way!

What's the worst that can happen? This isn't Battle Network. Or is it?




Unfortunately, we have to go in here and fix this stupid thing.


: Yep, it's got a virus!
: So that's what's wrong with it.
: OK, let's get in there and kick some virus!



I can't even justify throwing this fight, these things aren't dangerous unless you let yourself get stunned. Block their attacks and you'll be fine.


: Now to switch this thing on.
: Um, is this it?
*whiiiir*
: Sounds like you got it to work. Now let's go check out the Wave Road!

It's on and Geo doesn't know how to operate this thing and we're all about to die.



Well, it's fixed now... And I guess nobody's dead. Close one.

Hooray for no consequences?



But before we go save everyone, let's check out this last Transer that we couldn't see until now. Priorities!



: I'm an expert on space. Go ahead and ask me anything!

Have you ever met the famous Russian astronaut, Haywud Yabozof?



Alright, I think that's about it for now. We'll go check out the SpaceSim Wave Road in a little bit. Hope they can hang on a little bit longer.

By the time the next update rolls around, everyone will be dead.