Part 25: Snake Charmer

Well, we've finally made it to the dungeon of the scenario. And it looks pretty neat, though I'm not exactly sure why they chose to have the background be a venus fly trap eating a fly and not, a snake.

Maybe they just couldn't think of a cool snake background. Alternatively, snakes trap their prey?


: ...is waiting for us up there...
: Yeah. I don't know where she's hiding or what she's doing, but let's find her, and finish this.
: ...Yeah.

The usual pre-dungeon banter. It's neat to see his progression across all the dungeons, at least.



Right up ahead, we find a poor little Mr. Hertz. I hope he's okay...

I don't.


: A... A SNAKE CHARMER SUDDENLY CAME BY HERE... AND LEFT SOME POISONOUS SNAKES BEHIND... I-I WAS BIT BY ONE OF THOSE SNAKES...
: Will you be OK?
: MORE IMPORTANT THAN MYSELF IS THAT DOOR THERE. THAT DOOR CAN ONLY BE OPENED BY ME.

Oh no, Mr. Hertz! Please be okay! We have to help him!

Damn, we need him. He gets to live until this dungeon is done.


: Wh-What should I do?
: THERE SHOULD BE SOME ANTIDOTE SOMEWHERE IN THIS COMP SPACE. IF YOU COULD GET THAT FOR ME...
: The Antidote, huh? OK! I'll go look for it!

Oh jeez oh no we've gotta help the poor little guy

A vote for me is a vote for Hertz deaths.



After we beat up a bunch of viruses for their cards, of course.

Lampis is the little firefly-looking thing. They're weird, in that they have different attacks depending on a few things. A single Lampis will jump around the grid a few times, then appear in front of MegaMan. If MegaMan ISN'T blinded, the Lampis will attempt to blind him with a flash from its lightbulb butt. If he IS, it'll try to kick him in the teeth.

When there are multiple Lampis viruses, one will try to blind you and one will try to kick you. It's... a mess. Just, you can't be blinded while you have a barrier, and Sonia's ability gives you a barrier at the start of every fight, so they really aren't a threat.

The RhinoHorns are also pretty easy. They hop back and forth on the first and third column without changing rows, then after a few jumps go to two spaces in front of MegaMan and try to hit him with their horn. If there's something in that spot (like a virus or a block) it just skips that attempt.




Their card drops. (Getting that JumboHammer was a PAIN oh my god)




I actually got these three FlickerKicks in the exhibit's Wave Road; they're in GMWs there. They'll kick three times and auto-track, making them really good against bosses. Jumbo Hammer doesn't say it but its text is literal - it's essentially a LifeSword range (for those who don't remember/know Battle Network terminology, that's the width of a WideSword with the length of a LongSword).

FlickerKick is . Solid card to just Bruce Lee and do some damage. Multi-hit on an Aqua-element boss? YES PLEASE. JumboHammer doesn't cause iframes, making it good for bosses and viruses alike. Good range and good AOE. That's the midgame spike for you.



Those are the two new viruses in this dungeon; you can also find a bunch of other viruses like the PrivateMop, Crowkets, the Goopy thing that drops StickyRain, and all that.

But, that's enough of that. Let's talk about the dungeon itself. Mr Hertz needs us to go find the Antidote so that he can unlock the door and let us progress. There's always a path off to the side that's very twisty, with these leaf blocks off to the side.



There's really nothing interesting about them, except for how back and forth the path is. Also there's a HeatBall3 here but who cares about it.

Welp...the boss is just dead.



Seriously, it's a lot of looping on themselves. They designed it to stick as much ground in as small area as they can.



But, that's all. At the end of the path, there's this weird floating nugget and I have a feeling that's what we're looking for.



Yep, sure is.





So, it's hard to capture it accurately, but the leaves are shaking around.

: Looks like the snakes are here to party! Watch yourself, Geo, and don't get bit.



Well, how bad could it be?



OH GOD

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM



So, uh. Here's the dungeon gimmick! After collecting the antidote at the end of the path, the snakes come out. When you trip the invisible trigger, they'll pop out and start following a given path. It's always the same path every time, too.



If you get hit, it's twenty damage.



But, you're also infected (they're the same snakes that bit the Mr Hertz, after all!) and every few seconds MegaMan takes another 10 damage.

20 damage?? Come ON. Even if you get a slow tick of 10, that's nothing! Are you poisoned in virus battles? I think you are.



A snake also pops out of the leaves near the exit and will chase you back to the little pair of bushes.



That's it, though. It's the first challenge in the dungeon, so it's just a warm-up.



: THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!


: THERE'S STILL SOME ANTIDOTE LEFT. DRINK UP!

If you're poisoned, Mr Hertz is also kind enough to let you drink what's left of the antidote and cure yourself.



Thanks buddy. (Don't do this with any other medicine it's bad and will probably just end with both of you sicker than before)

Drink random medicine. Got it.



Either way, you only see that second bit if you're poisoned, so back to what everyone sees.

: MMM!


: THERE YOU GO!

Thanks so much, buddy!



The next Mr Hertz is only a little bit down the path and sends us to the left this time.



This just really isn't that exciting a dungeon. It's better than some of them by virtue of not really having any touch-screen gimmicks - you just run around. Anyway, you can see the Antidote right around the corner, so let's get started.



Shit fuck run

Can I get him as a pet? I like him.



This segment introduces birds. Sometimes, the rustling in the bushes isn't a giant hell snake bearing down to devour us, but instead some mischievous blue birds who will fly away and not try to murder anyone.

I forgot this detail. That's actually quite hilarious and works to keep you on your toes. If the damage was much higher, this would be very effective.



Ah shit they're still here! Why did this thing not eat those birds?! (Sometimes, there are those little lifted platforms on the path - those are always safe, since the Snakes are too big to reach them.)



Oh god there's two of them! Sometimes THIS happens, and all you can do is either duck into a side path, or in this case you run in the safe zone while the snake on the right chomps away menacingly until the first snake vanishes into the bushes and lets me run from the second.

You've been sneky snak'd




And with that, the second Mr Hertz has been healed and we're free to head on into the next section.



Each Mr Hertz DOES have unique "Oh please help me" and "Okay path's open go get 'em" text but it's all variations on the same theme, so I'm not including those dialogues.




Some of these paths only have goodies at the end. Since the snakes don't come out until you grab the Antidote, it's always better to just explore everything first and then go do the run back.

No, be a man and collect the data with the snake chase.




These birds will be the death of me. Also pictured: a pointless, strange loop in the dungeon.



The snakes move a little bit faster than you do, but keep running for it and you'll probably get out without being munched.

Mega Man is literally the apple in "Snake" right now.



The game kicks things up a little bit here, with two poisoned Hertzes. The antidote is only good enough for one Hertz, so you'll have to collect both antidotes in the maze.



They're just throwing these things at me. Come to think of it, I don't think there's a single vendor we've seen in this entire area. Huh.




The path splits at the end of the first straight area, and I took the right side. It's just a long, snaking trek to the end with the Antidote.










Just a general rule of thumb is, if there's a raised platform, you'll need to stand on it at some point.



Case in point.


: IF YOU CAN SAVE MY FRIEND, THEN WE CAN OPEN IT.

Sigh. I wonder if Ophiuca changed the setup of this comp space, or if it was always this jungle-like. Unlike the weird bull truck, I'm giving this one a pass on the snakes since it's literally a snake, but still.

It's funny to think about that the comp was morphed by the boss, but then you realize that it's always been this way -- the boss just took it over. Which raises all sorts of questions, really. Don't think too hard. They sure didn't. I prefer when the dungeon theme is very incidental, like this one. Versus the bull truck which really made no sense.




Take the left fork this time, for another long snaking path. Running from the snakes is really the only highlight of this dungeon.



As so.



Snak'd

The correct thing to do here is to go back towards the other snake, since this one disappears into the bush on the right side of the screen - there's a small safe spot between the two snakes. The correct answer is not to attempt to sneak around the corner anyway and get bitten for your troubles.



These might catch you by surprise if it weren't for the fact that it's just a repeat of the first run, and also the bushes rustle.



Thanks, Hertz friends!



So, the entire game whenever Luna came up I'd say something along the lines of 'We'll talk about her later'. Well, it's later now - I wanted to just talk about her motivations and character during her scenario.



Luna. From the very beginning, she comes off as obnoxious and demanding - a stark difference from the Battle Network trio who are mostly well-meaning and friendly. She nags Geo, won't leave him alone, stalks him... Basically, she hits all the checkboxes for an obnoxious character people hate, and I'm not surprised that people don't like her.



Part of that is that her motivations for bothering Geo is to get him to go to school, something he's not interested in doing and so the writing portrays her as in the wrong. It doesn't help that her personality is abrasive (see also, ditching Bud after Geo punched him out in the first scenario).



Personally, I may not like her, but at the very least I can understand where she's coming from, at least in this game. She needs to be perfect, and Geo's absence is stopping her from reaching that perfect attendance record as class president. Is it really that important? No, not really. But her parents (probably) only gave her attention when she got first and was flawless.




Taking a break from my soapbox to point out the branch here. It's probably a GMW spawn point, but again - explore everything BEFORE grabbing the Antidote.



Now that we've seen Luna's parents, does that make her previous actions nice or good? Not really. Sure, she was lucky that Geo's depression about his father's death/disappearance was helped by going to school, but she went about it in a wildly inappropriate manner and honestly I don't blame Geo for not wanting anything to do with her.

I can agree with that. And though I'm not Luna's biggest fan, the young age of the character is at least almost wholly responsible for Luna's mishandling of Geo's situation. I'll give you an immaturity pass, there. A good character arc that she undergoes is learning to let go a little bit and not sweat the small stu--- yeah, right. They never got that chance in the series to my knowledge.



Basically, I think that she's a well-written character with several major flaws that keep me from really liking her. I kinda hope that people hate her a little bit less after this scenario; she's not really a bad person. She's got a bad introduction and I understand sighing any time her theme starts playing, but the hate she gets is really a little too much for the first game.



As for how she acts around Bud and Zack... Well, Zack deserves to be treated like scum so he doesn't matter, but Bud really shouldn't be yelled at. He tries his best, even though sometimes he doesn't do very well. Luna still yells at him a lot, because as her subordinate his actions reflect on her.



Remember that she's learned how to act from looking at her parents, who are... Let's be polite and say that they're jerks. She probably doesn't know that there's anything wrong with acting like she's the Queen - hence the FM-ian form she turned into, the Queen of Snakes.



If someone is able to just sit down and talk to her, she'd probably be in a lot better place than she is right now. It doesn't help that her parents are making the wrong call here. She doesn't have anything to hold onto as support, and that's what Ophiuca took advantage of.

This is fair. People don't like Luna, but aren't taking into account all of her factors. She does get less uptight, and never truly gets out of her ways (nor should she), but when they make her the Damsel in Distress in later games, it does remove elements of control that she's used to having. Which...actually makes her likable. Now that she isn't the boss-in-charge and needs saving every now and then, it does help to warm her up to others in the audience since she's less obnoxious.

Basically, I'm saying that you need to give her a fair re-evaluation



Sure Luna made the wrong call here but - wait hold up.



It's here. It's time! We've been collecting these things for so long, and this is the very first one!

This is our FIRST one!? What the hell? Starforce 1, PLEASE.





Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Like always, the rewards from locked data are always fantastic. Jammers just show up and shoot down the columns you're not standing in. That's 150 damage on each side of you. This thing is great for both virus battles and boss battles and I slam it into my folder immediately.



Ahem. Back on topic. Luna made the wrong decision letting Ophiuca in, but be fair to her, who among us wouldn't let an alien give us fancy magic powers?




There are so many snakes!

Something something snakes in this dungeon



The third gate of the third area - this is definitely the last one.





It's really just a long stretch of path.



As always, just stand on the raised platforms to avoid snakes. Once they've chased something once, they don't respawn.



This one, on the other hand, is just a straight run to the end.



It turns out that talking to the NPCs doesn't freeze snakes' animations.

HE'S HUNGRY, YETI. FEED HIM.




I'd be more impressed if it weren't a Recover card, and if we hadn't just seen JamMachGun.

In a dungeon where you're taking poison damage, this is actually a fair drop for a BMW.



This, by the way, is a summary of how my fights in this dungeon go. Turns out, Taurus on a grass field is just as busted as it was in early game, except now I don't need to have a white card to set that up.




This is the last challenge, so they're really not giving you much time to react anymore.




Also, they're starting to get trickier.



: GET HER FOR US!

With that, though, we've healed all the Hertzes and are ready to take on Ophiuca for real.



It's always good to see this panel, because it means the best part of the game is coming up shortly.



Hmm, looks like her parents aren't doing great.


: Let Luna go now!!
: MegaMan!!



And here's the last person in this little party.

: I could smell your stench coming from this girl from miles away. I thought maybe taking her over would force you out of hiding, and look, here you are!

Yeah, Ophiuca didn't just choose Luna randomly, like the other FM-ians who just wanted a compatible human. She was after Mega at the same time.

Aha, and she just got double lucky with a compatible host.



In both series, the snake lady is always depicted as a creep. Remember Ms. Millions' suggestive dialogue in BN2? Here's an example.

: I think it's time I taught you a lesson! Come on, Ophiuca! Take your best shot!!
: Sounds like you haven't changed either. Hmph. Why don't you calm down, and let's talk business, shall we?
: You wanna talk business?
: That's right. The Andromeda Key that you have; why don't we use it together?

Oh, look! It's the usual "Join me, and let's rule the world together!"

Bought and sold! Shall we torture the commoners, next?



...Or destroy the world, that too.

: You know as well as I that without the Key, "it" won't work. It needs 2 items to work: the Key you have, and the controller the FM King has. If you join forces with me, I can charm the FM King into handing the controller over to us. And then, Planet FM's ultimate weapon of destruction, "Andromeda" will be ours!

Okay, that's definitely a rant. It also introduces "it" in the same dialogue the game reveals "Andromeda" so, uh, not sure why they chose to try to hide it the first time.

That was...dumb. Way to kill your mystery in 2 boxes!


: I'm afraid I'd have to use force on you. But I don't think you'll refuse...
: And that's where you'd be wrong! I have no interest in ruining this planet!! The only thing I'm interested in is bringing an end to all of you FM-ians!
: Looks like I've failed in my negotiations. Now I've got to use brute force, it seems.

I'm consistently amazed at how stupid these FM-ians are. Seriously, why do they always think they can beat us? I can forgive Cygnus, since Taurus was deleted before Cygnus even arrived on Earth, but c'mon!

My only explanation is...kids-level writing. Not really an excuse, unfortunately.


: Hyaaaaa!!
: Here she comes!



Time for some fun.





Queen Ophiuca is here.

Well... Kinda here. She nominally exists.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeqqwXbLq-E

Ophiuca tends to stick to the back of the field, making the Fire Bazooka a very effective chip. She'll hop around a few times, then stop on one of the columns you're not standing in to send snakes down the rows. After two of those cycles, she'll jump in front of you and use her Gorgon Eye. After another snake legion, she'll rush down two columns. The most dangerous part of this boss is her Super Armor, which prevents her from being put into hitstun.

She's pretty weak for this point in the game (given the level of damage most cards in my folder can do, she'll go down in ten hits) and her Grass element is doing no favors. TaurusFire SP at its weakest can wiped out a good third of her health by itself. Leo's charge shot is also very powerful. And, anyone playing Pegasus version (like me) has access to BreakTimeBomb, a fire-element card that does 600 damage.



Pictured (kinda): Snake Legion. I mis-timed the screenshot and didn't actually get any snakes on the field, but they just slither down the row at you. The snakes go through blocks, so good dodging will get you through without taking a hit, or you can break the snakes; they will eat hits for Ophiuca and will be targeted by throwing cards like bombs. They do 50 damage, and the counter timing is right before Ophiuca swings her arm - it's earlier than you think, but she has Super Armor so just use Gatling or StickyRain.

A weird interaction - if you paralyze her with a card as she's starting this attack, she'll just stand still for a while.



Pictured: Gorgon Eye. She stops on your column, prepares, then uses this. It can't be blocked and does 50 damage plus paralyze on contact. The counter timing is tight but it's right after she finishes charging.



Pictured: Quick Serpent. Ophiuca stops on two columns and charges down them, like Taurus's attack. Same deal as that one, except it's even slower and is easier to stop. Can't be blocked, 50 damage like the rest of her attacks.



BreakTimeBomb and TaurusFire make that fight pathetically easy. Sorry to anyone that wanted an interesting fight.

That's most of these. That's partly why the focus in my LPs was on virus busting. Much more difficult and lets you push some degrees of the battle system to its limit.


: Hmph, just give up already. You've lost.
: Ophiuca! Let Luna go!!
: *huff huff* I don't think so!! I'm taking the girl with me!!
: Wait! You can't!

Mega is still showing all the development he's gone through. He doesn't immediately try to kill Ophiuca; he wants her to leave.

Getting softened up by humans. I miss ArmNavi's blood lust.


: ...what a pitiful sight you are.

I hate when there's a bunch of dialogue without a specific speaker. I try to cover those as best I can, but when it's like this, it's such a pain.

: G-Gemini!? Is that you!?
: Gemini!? Argh, we can't take on the 2 of them together!
: Good timing, Gemini! Come, help me finish off the traitor!

I mean, I killed Ophiuca with no damage. I can probably handle whoever this Gemini is, no problem.


: Yes, there is finishing off to do...

Come fight me, I'll fuck you up.

FIGHT! We need more Zenny drops!

: Mega! Where is this Gemini!?
: I don't know. But I do know we're within his firing range.
: Gemini! Hurry!




Boo. Artillery sucks ass, come down and fight like a real -



Oh. Well okay then.


: G-Gemini!! W-Why...!? Gaaaaaaaah!!




That was surprisingly simple.


: The time for our battle is drawing close. Until then, take good care of the Andromeda Key, won't you?

It's not shown because I'm transcribing it, but Gemini has a real problem with only using two lines of his textboxes.

: Why did you do that to Ophiuca?

: She was in my way... I suppose. I have my own agenda. So remember this: next time, my Gemini Thunder will be for you.



What a wimp. Can't even come face me.

: That is one nasty FM-ian.
: Ah! Luna!!

Oh right her, forgot about that.


: Nngh... ......*gasp!* M-MegaMan!?


: What should I do?
: It wasn't your fault. You were just too weak and let the FM-ian in.

DAAAAAAAMN.

I get what he's trying to say, but Geo, c'mon, have a little bit of tact.

: But it's OK now. Your mom and dad fainted. That's all.



The screen's shaking again.

: That blast from before's made this Comp Space really unstable. You'd better get out of here! If you don't, you'll return to the Real World with that girl in tow!
: Darn it!

Gemini Thunder is so powerful that he destabilized the Comp Space. Let that sink in. Will they keep that level of power consistent? ....Yeah right.


: MegaMan!!



Ah. I didn't realize it'd come out so muddy... But while Luna hugs him, Geo's flailing his arms in the air.

: This girl is hugging me! aaaaaaa


: Ack! W-Wait a sec!!

The shaking gets worse. Geo's running out of time, and Luna doesn't seem like she's going to let go any time soon.

: The Comp Space is disappearing!
: MegaMaaaaan!!




Hm. This is unfortunate, I'd say.

We were caught being a hero. Fak.


: Mega... M- Geo!? N-No way!!



: I can't believe that you... that you're MegaMan...
: I'm sorry... for not telling you...
: Do you mean it?

This probably isn't the best way for Luna to find out, but I guess it's better than her never finding out.


: Father!
: Nngh...
: Mother!

Oh right, contenders for Worst Parents were injured.


: We had the strangest dream... A dream where you were crying... You were saying, "Look at the real me."
: We were really hurt by you in the dream... We were being squeezed so hard that the pain was almost unbearable... We were being choked by the chains of your suffering.

I... What? I mean I guess "my daughter turned into an alien" is less believable than "It's all a dream" but still! Things happened very clearly. Their ribs should be bruised, definitely.

These people are morons. Complete and utter morons. Am I to believe that this is why they don't question the alien transformation further? Seriously?


: We're really sorry... Forgive us...
: Father, mother...



This little 'animation' is awkward because of the simple fact that they didn't make a sprite for the family hugging. So they kinda just nudge closer together.


: ...so if you all will excuse me...


: Y-Yes, madam.

Luna actually snaps this at him while he's walking away and he comes to a halt. It's a nice touch.


: They're fine... They're looking around at some of the shops... What I want to say is... um... thanks for saving me...

These two are pretty awkward, but it's understandable.


: ...MegaMan... aren't you?
: Yeah.
: W-Well, don't get any funny ideas!! I-I have always liked MegaMan and I will always like him. But I have ZERO feelings for you, got it!?
: Got it!

Sigh. This silly trope... Now that we've beaten up the external facet of her emotional trauma, she should be better. But some of Luna's writing is still extremely annoying.

It's the dumb tsundere trope, but she isn't going to resolve her feelings easily. Loves one, and is super annoyed at the other. Will she decide how she really feels? Find out next week on our Slice of Life Boring Shitfuck Anime.


: I knew it! You're thinking something weird!
: Wh-What!? I'm not thinking anything!!
: ...So you want to become one?

THAT is a hell of a topic change.


: You're so dense! A Brother!! What else!? But it's a big responsibility! You'll know all of my secrets, so you'd better be serious!
: I-I understand. You know my secret too, after all...

Again. Geo, you don't have to have your deepest, darkest, most 'going to get me arrested by the Satella police' secret as what you share with Brothers.

Become Brothers with this girl. Yes. It will never not be funny.



Anyway, it's time to get our second Brother. And don't worry about selecting to overwrite Sonia.



Geo has better taste than that.


: It's good to be Brothers, Geo! My Link Ability is Float! Float nullifies all panel effects. Even poison panels are not a problem. My Link Ability will definitely protect you!

Have... we seen any poison panels? I honestly don't remember if we have. But don't worry, they're pointless now! (You'll still heal if you step on grass when using the DragonSky form.)



Our health also jumps up another 50 points.


: That girl, Sonia Strumm... Are you going out?
: Going out?? Ah, no! We're just friends, that's all!
: Oh? I see... Tee hee!

SIGH.

Don't worry, Yeti. If OSS proves anything, the GeoxLuna shippers are WRONG.


: And anyway, why did you come here, Luna!?
: Why should I have to tell you!? I just felt like it!! Oh, and before you forget, you're the teacher's helper tomorrow, so don't be late!
: I know already!
: As long as you know! Well, see you tomorrow!

Putting that aside, Luna really is more or less back to normal. But, you'll notice that she's nagging him for a slightly different reason now. Less on the "I need everyone here" and more, "You have a job to do".

She is daydreaming about Geo getting shit done. Ugh.





Hey, Sonia! A good character!


: Are you OK? What happened to the poison!?
: Prof. Snake gave me an antidote, so I'm OK, but if he had given it to me even a little later, he might not have made it in time!
: S-Sorry!!
: What kind of Brother are you, to forget someone who was bitten by a poisonous snake?


: I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!! Please forgive me!!
: Ha ha ha! Well, if you treat me to a sundae, then maybe I can forgive you this once!

Sonia's having fun with this. Geo's probably fun to tease.

Bahahahaha. Sonia is cool.




And a nice fade to black to finish up this scenario.

Next scenario is gonna focus on Zack. Watch.